- "There was a kangaroo...in my living room."
- Jen's imaginary driving test/car chase in the kitchen.
- As the family returns home from a Horrible Camping Trip:
Steven: Up to your rooms, now.
Alex: Uh, Dad, I think I'm a little old to be sent to my room.
Steven: You're also too old to be whining in the car the whole way back.
Alex: [whining] I wasn't whining...
- The over-the-top presentation Alex designs for Jennifer about how a bill becomes a law, filled with Eagleland Patriotic Fervor—he has her dress as the Statue of Liberty and end with a huge Rousing Speech and fireworks, with the result that the teacher applauds and ends up in tears. The kicker, however, is that he had been pretending to be a dumb jock...so that when Jennifer finally threw a fit and quit over Alex's Stage Mom antics in "directing" her, he suddenly drops the facade and tries to fill in to give the presentation, ending with a very sheepish slip back into "dumbness", claiming he was only saying "what he'd heard his sister say".
- When Steven walks in on Nick with a pair of flowers, doing an impromptu song asking Mallory to marry him.
- One episode starts with Elise showing Andrew pictures of his family and asking who they are. He correctly identifies the first two. Then we get to the third.
Elise: Who is this?Andrew: Alex.Elise: Who is Alex?Andrew: Alex is king!
- "Remembrances of Things Past", with a bit of Mood Whiplash.
Steven: (after an argument with his dad) Do you know what I wish, Robbie? That he wasn't my dad. (sees his dad listening in) I'm sorry dad, I didn't mean it!
(his dad walks away)
Robbie: Nice going!
Steven: Oh, what did I say? What did I say?
Robbie: You said you wished he wasn't our father!
Steven: I know what I said!
(Sits on the chair his dad was sitting on. He hears something break. Pulls out a broken pipe.)
Steven: Oh no! What did I do? What did I do!
Robbie: You broke his pipe!
Steven: I know what I did!
- Alex's attempt to impress Ellen by doing an interpretive dance...of the stock market crash of 1929. It's just as ridiculous as it sounds.