- J.R.'s endless oneliners are hilarious even when Bobby doesn't think so.
- Ann and JR's interaction in "Family Business." JR finally comes home when he hears Bobby is sick, but Ann chases him away, saying she'll shoot him, "and since you have no heart, it'll be somewhere more vital." JR walks away, mumbling "the woman's lost her mind," and Ann is indignant when she later finds out that JR referred to her as "wife #3."
- Just about any scene with J.R. and Cliff together can pretty much guarantee that J.R. will have you chuckling at least one hilarious dig towards Cliff.
- After a brawl between the Ewing's and the Barnes' at the Oil Ball:
J.R.: CLIFF BARNES. That rodent, he bit me!Sue Ellen:(amused and only faintly paying attention) How did he bite you J.R.?J.R.: (exasperated) With his teeth, Sue Ellen, how the hell else is he gonna bite me??
- Ann's Rise to Power commercial.
Ann: I can cook a four-course meal, go toe-to-toe with my crooked brother-in-law and hide the liquor from Sue Ellen. Not that I'd have to. She's totally off the bottle now. mouths "She's not."
- J.R.: Bullets don't seem to have much effect on me, darlin'.
- In his will, J.R. leaves his dove-hunting gun to Ann, "unless she is the reason we’re reading this will."
- Trying to determine which accent Angelica Nero is trying to go with is always good for a laugh, sometimes even changing mid sentence. She can't decide if she's English, Scottish, French, Russian or German.