Funny: Dance Moms
funny moments in the world of the Abby Lee Dance Company.
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- In the series premiere, Abby once said "Girls, what are you doing? Those legs are about as straight as Elton John." See, it's funny because Elton John's gay...
- In the series premiere, when Abby calls 911 on Minister Dawn* , she notes that Dawn carried no weapons—"just her mouth."
- In the series premiere when Paige gets a burn from a curling iron and everyone tries to make her feel better, Maddie decides to tell her, "If it makes you feel better, I don't have any underwear on." See here.
- Kelly and Christi's reaction to Chloe's headpiece malfunction in her trio.◊
- This gif of Abby "dancing".◊
- In one episode, Abby falls asleep somewhat ungracefully on the bus to one of the competitions and the girls drop a gummy worm in her open mouth. When she wakes up, startled, the girls laugh that they "thought you liked gummy worms!"
- Brooke's reaction◊ to having to go on a date with a boy for a dance number.
- Let's not forget Christi's most timeless remark: "They look like prostitots." See, because it is a portmanteau of "prostitute" and "tot", the latter word being a synonym for a young child...
- Chloe's classic comment about Abby's voice.
Chloe (in fake deep voice while doing a Kubrick Stare): [Abby] has a deep voice that you will be very afraid of.
- One time, Kelly, Christi, Melissa, and Cathy actually took the stage for a dance number. No, really.
Paige: Oh my god, my mom said she used to be a good dancer. Things have changed.
- Then Cathy all of a sudden takes center stage and, in an effort to upstage the other moms, starts doing an improvised little solo performance that ended up making the whole thing much more awkward than it was to begin with. You can see the amused and bewildered looks on all the moms' faces.
- In a case of hilarious role reversal, the girls get to sit upstairs and watch the moms rehearsing below.
- Vivi-Anne's notoriously hilarious line: "I cut my finger on my mom's ring. I hope I can still dance."
- The blooper reel. It's short (20 seconds), but sweet nonetheless.
- Mackenzie brings up a very good point.◊
- "Laquifa! WHAT?" (starts at 0:22)note
- Also, watch this and skip to 0:35.
- "I'm hot! I'm mean! You can't have me! You can't afford me!"◊
- Mackenzie concerning her outfit for the "topless showgirls" dance.
Mackenzie: I could fit this on my American Doll.
- There's a particular bit in "I Know What You Did Last Competition" where Paige is having a Confession Cam talking about the large spoon prop they were using, and she remarks "I don't want to drop the spoon." We hear the spoon drop literally as soon as she finishes her sentence.
- When Abby's judging Paige's dance that Kelly had re-choreographed:
(Abby has just pointed out an assortment of errors in Paige's technique)Abby: Kelly, you're much more successful at "the real bar", not the ballet bar. Stick to what you do best. (mimes drinking)Abby: Why would somebody put their child under that kind of pressure? Woo! That's parenting! (does sarcastic smile and thumbs up)
- Christi's collection of golden quotes.
- "[The bus driver]'s just doing his job, and all of a sudden he sees this black cloudnote coming at him..."
- Christi has said that the one gift she'd give Abby is a 3-month Weight Watchers trial membership. "It's the gift that we keep on giving."
- "Cathy put that icy, cold, bony little hand onto me. It was like the Grim Reaper was holding onto my wrist."
- (referring to one of Jill's tirades where she just so happened to be wearing a cowboy hat) "And all I'm thinking is, 'You are so hard to take seriously wearing that hat!'"
- Mackenzie's got a good collection, too.
- "Hey! Abby taught me how to shake my bum-bum, and I shake it pretty well!"
- "I think boys are icky. Icky, icky, icky, icky, icky!"
- "Turn the bass way up, and boom it, yeah!" - Paige
- In this video, Abby gets to talk to her alumnae and as they share a laugh over poking fun at Kelly (who is also an ALDC alumna):
Abby: Was Kelly ever late?Alumnae: Yes!Abby: Did Kelly ever not show up?Alumnae: Yes!Abby: Was Kelly naked all the time?Alumnae: Yes!Kelly: No![...]Kelly: Is Kelly fun?(all of the alumnae are dead silent, Kelly bursts into laughter)
- Mackenzie going up to accept her 1st place award for her "Killer Bee" solo (from the 2012 nationals)...with part of her face covered in fake blood from their "Last Text" dance.
- Also, when the girls work on a routine around marriage, Mackenzie delivers this:"I want to marry dance, but I don't." And without missing a beat:"If I had to marry someone, it would be Justin Bieber."
- Some may find it hilarious to see Christi and Leslie wildly swinging at each other in the middle of the street, both on drunken stupors.
- The girls and the moms share their favorite Christmas moments.
"I don't usually buy my mom gifts because I'm broke, but I usually make her something homemade, because it's the cheapest thing that I could do, but it comes from the heart. (starts laughing)"
- After Melissa shares her favorite Christmas moment, Maddie proceeds to imitate her and sound a lot dreamier. She then proceeds to wink and make a face at the camera.
- This gem from Paige.
- Kendall calling out Jill on her inferior cooking skills, stating that their Christmas breakfasts are better when Kendall makes them.
- Brooke's complaints about Paige never letting her sleep in on Christmas Day. "She's just too happy."
- In "Decisions Decisions", Abby puts Kelly at the top of the pyramid. Everyone bursts into laughter except for Christi, who just stands there with an unamused "Are you kidding me?" look on her face.
- The blooper reel from "Girl Talk".
- To get the girls' minds off of the stress that comes with nationals, Abby decided to do something special for them. It involves two cute shirtless guys and a dunk tank. Hilarity Ensues.
- Picture this: Maddie is having a duet with Gino (you may remember him from Candy Apples), and as part of the routine she has to have her first kiss with him. Hilarity Ensues.
- "I did not sign up to kiss Gino, and it's a little awkward for me, because...he likes me."
- Then, out of the blue, Abby grabs Maddie and kisses her. Yeah.◊
- Made even funnier since that image is used for the thumbnail of the video linked above, which makes it kind of misleading in the best way.
- Followed by one of Christi's gleefully snarky comments: "Awwww, Maddie and Abby both had their first kiss the same day!"
- When the kiss actually takes place, Maddie's first instinct is to get out of the room. Gino's face just says, "What did I do?"
- "Maddie! You had your first kiss! Before me!" - Chloe
- When Holly, Jill, Christi, and Kelly all meet up at Holly's house for a book club (the book is Little Women), Kelly complains about its length (despite only having to read two chapters) and states that she has never fully read a book since childhood.
- "There aren't even any pictures."
- A moment near the end of the video where Christi hits the back of her head on a table from leaning back due to laughing so hard.
- This scene, where Melissa ends up running across the stage in front of the audience, even addressing them on the way. Then she runs back across the stage from the other side a few seconds later.
- Abby's reaction is priceless. "Pretend you do not know her."
- Christi stating that if she or Kelly would've ran across the stage, they would've been killed. "There would've been a sniper in the audience, just like BOOM!"
- The moment where we see Abby in her car eating Sour Patch Kids. It got turned into a gif and is now a meme on Tumblr.
- Holly's thoughts on how Jojo seems to take her sass from her mother.
Holly: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And Jess is a pretty big tree.
- Jill stealing Cathy's megaphone and bragging to them about how they won. In a subsequent interview, Jill notes how she stooped to Cathy's level by doing such a thing, even though she did it anyway.
- Mackenzie: I just have one question...why is this in here? (pulls out megaphone)
- When Maddie and Mackenzie try using the megaphone, it emits an alarm sound that effectively scares the crap out of Maddie. And then when Mackenzie uses it, Maddie looks visibly discomforted and is even plugging her ears.