Funny / Card Sharks

Card Sharks, the game of survey questions and Acey-Deucey, certainly had some hilarious moments.

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Jim Perry (1978-81)

• July 20, 1978: "Do you think you could do a better job hosting Card Sharks than Jim Perry?"
• 1978: This opening verse. Gene's inflection on the final word sells it:
  Roses are red! Carnations are pink!
  Aces are good! But eights really... stink?
• This opening verse, September 25, 1978:
  Ace is high! Deuce is low!
  If I get an eight, out my brains I'll blow!
• January 1, 1979: G2-T2 (the question holder) had a little too much fun for New Year's...
• January 2, 1980: Even the updated G2-T2 gets a post-New Year's hangover.
  Jim: I told you at that New Year's party, I TOLD YOU... battery fluid and STP doesn't mix, but no...
• September 1980: Gene Rayburn attempts to hit on one of the dealers during the Game Show Hosts Tournament.
• November 19, 1980: Bill Daily, while playing a Celebrity Edition, got a Queen as his first card of Game 1. He opted to change it, getting an eight in its place and snark from Perry: "Hey, Minnesota Fats, you now have the worst card in the deck!" He ended up running the board and stunning opponent (and fellow The Bob Newhart Show cast member) Marcia Wallace.
  Wallace: What sort of craziness is this?! He changed a Queen and he won?!
• December 1980: During a children's week, a player starts the Money Cards with $8,040.
• February 1981: Jim makes fun of Richard Dawson, complete with massively outdated Family Feud picture (showing the original 1976/77 buzzers).

Bob Eubanks (1986-89)

• Early 1986: This contestant's answer to a survey question.
• October 30, 1986: Just before a contestant plug, Lacey Pemberton thought Eubanks was Rafferty, calling him "Bill" before realizing her error.
• That same episode had a hilarious question involving ten married men. “Have you ever apologized to your wife when you didn’t mean it, just to avoid a fight?” 9 of the ten said yes. Eubanks has a field day.
  “Now... where’s the liar?” (One man sheepishly raises his hand) “Are you lying to us?”
  “There’s two reasons why I answered the question that way: I’m a stubborn German... and I didn’t understand the question.”
• January 21, 1987 (Young People's Week): This trainwreck of awkwardness for this question- capped by Gene Wood shouting from off-camera, "Wait a minute, don't forget the teeth and hair!"
• December 30, 1987 (Young People's Week): An ostrich was brought on set for an Educated Guess question and briefly managed to escape and roam around the set.
  • At the start of the show when the contestants are introduced, a rather big kid with a moustache shows up.^note (This was actually Bob Goen, who was there to promote his new show Blackout.)
• March 30, 1988: This question where people were interviewed on the street and shown a photo of Eubanks asking people if they could identify him. It... didn't turn out so well.
• April 4, 1988: Ten GLOW wrestlers are asked if they think they can lift Bob over their head...and Mt. Fiji decides to prove it.
• March 31, 1989: A couple from the Grand Finale.
  • Contestant Pam said that she had a boyfriend named Peck. When Eubanks asked about the unusual name, she said that it was short for "Peckerhead".
  • The worthless final Contestant Plug.

Bill Rafferty (1986-87, Nighttime)

• 1986: "Do you think rock star Madonna is sexy?" An elderly contestant named Maury^note (who also appeared on the Perry version) gives his reasoning:
  Maury: I've seen, uh... a couple of times. I don't even know what he does! Does he sing or dance? I don't think he's sexy, I don't think a lot of men would.
  Rafferty: Maury, go to the record store, pick up an album. Check it out.
• 1986-87: During a Young People's Week, a male contestant uncovered a prize card for Victorian dolls, which he went on to win.
  Rafferty: What every boy wants. Every boy knows his room is incomplete without Victorian dolls. I can remember when I was a youth, I used to come home from baseball practice, and go "I can't wait to put the petticoats on."
• Speaking of trainwrecks, Bill had one of his own, this one involving Lacey and Suzanna's combined age.^note (For the record, Lacey was 30 and Suzanna was 24 when this question was originally asked.)

Pat Bullard (2001)

• Late 2001: While explaining how the Money Cards work, Bullard would note that the contestant could change the base card. Now, this typically (but not always) led into Pat asking, "You know why?", then saying "Because I'm a nice guy.", which wasn't really funny. In one case, he swapped it out with "Because I want you to go on a honeymoon." for an engaged contestant. In this case...
  Bullard: Just to make it easier, Laizer, we're gonna let you change the first card. You know why?
  Laizer: Because that's the rules of the game?
  (audience laughs)
  Bullard: I'll smack you, Laizer, I'm not kidding. (audience laughs some more) Yes, it's the rules of the game! Let's see his first card, Tammi!

Play Your Cards Right with Bruce Forsyth

• 2002: At the end of an awful run at the Cash Cards, Brucie drops the final card and stomps on it.
• Even if it happened on Have I Got News for You, Play Your Iraqi Cards Right definitely qualifies. They originally were gonna call it Play Your Kurds Right, but they felt that was a bit too much of Crossing the Line Twice.

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