Funny: Caddicarus

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  • At the end of his "Top Ten Merchants in Video Games" video, his didgeridoo accidentally falls into shot as he tries to give his signature salutation.
    Greetings and salutations, my beautiful people. Thanks very much for watching my first ever Top Ten list and I hope that I hope- *didgeridoo falls into shot* Didgeri-FUCKING-doo!!
  • "The Care and Feeding of a Grinch"
  • The stylistically-sucky way Caddy portrays driving in a car, as seen in his reviews of Destruction Derby 2 and Broken Sword II - he just takes a static photo of his car, and waves it around frantically in front of actual street footage (And sometimes a river and outer space), all the while incomprehensibly moaning with the Doctor Who theme in the background.
  • His LEGO Racers review reaches a fever-pitch of frustration to the point where he makes a Stupid Statement Dance Mix of "I Get Around" out of his swearing.
    • He starts talking about how since the game has LEGO in it, it has to be good. It prompts this gag:
    Caddy: So we can't go wrong, am I right? (Pause) I said am I right? (Pause) I said AM I RIGHT!? (Pause) I SAI- (cuts to next scene)
  • In his review of the Coronation Street game, he finally finds the hidden Buddha. His reaction? "HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN-"
    "Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring-a-dee-ding! Bicycle, ringy-ting, ting, rint-ta-ting, ting...ring...ring..."
    • He also criticizes the game's hint system (which is literally highlighting an object) by saying:
    Caddy: It's less of a "HINT" and more of a "CAN'T FIND IT? HERE IT IS, YOU TWAT"
    • The opening to the review - Caddy sits in silent contempt in the garden, spraying cream around his mouth for no apparent reason.
    • "Welcome, Screw you."
  • The Completionist wonders why people still keep flocking to areas infested with man-eating sharks in the Jaws Unleashed review. Caddicarus describes this as such:
    Caddy: It's like building a bloomin' skyscraper on top of a beehive. I mean, yes, there's honey in there, but there's also bees in there that eat people!
    • From the same review, when Jaws/Gums is knocking down support beams to make a pier collapse.
    Caddy: I can knock them down very easily, but I can't plough through them, meaning, wait for it...INDIVIDUALLYKNOCKINGDOWNEVERYSUPPORTINGBEAMSLUGGISHLYANDMONOTONOUSLYINARATHERHORRIFICFASHION!
    "Hey, Gums, are you really enjoying this?" *Gums nods* "...Really?" *Gums nods* "...well I'm not."
    • Caddie runs into a glitch mid-level where the screen goes funny.
    "Uhhh what the hell was that about?"
  • From the South Park review:
    "Straight away, you can play as the four original main characters, and the models aren't too terrible either. It's all good. Maybe except the unholy horror that is CARTMAN'S FUCKING BEARD!"
    Caddy: Can this be salvaged...by the second level-SAME MUSIC, SAME AREA, SAME OBJECTIVE! And one of these objectives, which is...
    Cartman: I just need to find the other guys!
    Caddy:...is right next to my fucking arse! WHY DID I NEED TO PICK THESE GUYS UP??!!
  • The really patronising popup of children's character Mr. Tumble from Something Special that appears in the 3, 2, 1, Smurf review.
    • The joke Caddy makes about bleeping out the word "Smurf" from Brainy's lines.
  • The Stupid Statement Dance Mix Caddy makes out of the "strangely-melodic" menu highlight sound from the game of The Fifth Element.
    • As Caddy leans his head against his window after playing The Fifth Element, this exchange with Sam occours:
    Sam: Coronation Street didn't even break you, what game was it?
    Caddy: It was The Fifth Element.
    Sam: *gasps and drops with a loud thud*
    Caddy: *turns around, looks down* Oh for fuuuuck's saaaake...
    • Caddy's frustration at getting teleported to a part of the level he had already been to.
    "At least now I think I'm making progress. Okay, let's go through here and- oh, I'm back here again! Yaaaaay I COMPLETELY FUCKING HATE THIS!!
    • There's also his frustration at the game's story not resembling the movie in the slightest.
    • Corben's turning animation, set to the tune of "Doll On A Music Box"
  • Broken Sword II has Caddy communicate with Scarfulhu via telepathy. Scarfulhu wonders what the point of Caddy driving to his house was.
    • Caddy's commentary on using a barrel to knock a man off of a pier.
    Caddy: I guess this is how it feels to be Donkey Kong. *footage repeats, with Donkey Kong sounds*
    • The phone call between Caddy and Scarfulhu.
    Caddy: *dials a very long number*
    Scarfulhu: Hello?
    Caddy: *growling* Scarfulhu... I heard you like point-and-click adventure games...
    Scarfulhu: ...That is correct.
    Caddy: *deep breath* I'm coming over!!
    Scarfulhu: What- *Caddy hangs up*
    • His brief Jump Scare reaction to the front cover of the game.
    • The intermittent use of "FABULOSO!"
  • From 'The Grinch (PS1) Review:
    • "I might have just found the greatest damage sound ever." *cut to Caddy's disgusted face as the Grinch whines "Ouch!" repeatedly*
    • "Now some of you people may accuse me of ripping off Doug Walker's review of the Grinch movie, but... fuck it. CHRISTMAS!!"
    • "Santa Claus was bad enough to destroy the PS one, but this game was good enough to recieve a DS one. ...That's terrible!"
  • From the Destruction Derby 2 review, the repetition of the phrase, "He's WAAAAAAYYYYYY out in front!".
    • "Once upon a time in a far away land, a young man in a stock car took a tactic in a Death Bowl to pussy out and avoid all incoming violent behaviour. Let the other cars kill each other and claim his reward. It didn't work. The end."
    • The reveal of the RV.
    • His reaction to the incredibly burp-like quit sound effect.
    • When he tries to be smart and back away so he's in top condition when he makes his move, the cars just converge on him simultaneously. They descend upon him like a tide of metal and burnt rubber.
  • The "Caddy's Retrospectives" title card breaking in the third part of his Oddworld retrospective. He fixes it and it plays almost all the way through before playing backwards and exploding.
    Caddy: *silence* Good enough. *walks away*
  • The entirety of the Dalmatians 3 review. Caddy describes it as the worst thing ever, beating out the Coronation Street game. And oh boy, he's so, so right.
    • Even better is how it ends: By the time he decides to take it out, the disc had become so red hot from stressing the PS2 to its limits with horribly-optimized disk space, that when he tried to run it again, the PS2 couldn't read it properly.
    • His reaction to one dog claiming he likes to "Swallow my bollocks":
    You better watch your mouth, young man, this is a kid's game.
    • Then he almost gives up entirely after the antagonist dog makes a Your Mom joke.
  • Hideo Freaking Kojima, AKA Ballsy Smith, and his POWER!
    • His Metal Gear retrospective, starting with MGS1:
    [...]and it was also one of the first games in which the environments actually fed back on to me. (footage of the Heliport outside area) I felt bitterly cold just looking at these areas. (footage of the Blast Furnace.) And then I felt really hot. (footage of the wolf Caves) And then I felt completely lost and terrified that I was gonna get eaten by AAAH ITSA WOLFFF
    • The opening of the MGS1 video with the mispronunciation of Japan as "Jay-pen" and the picture of Kojima holding a box of Mega Bloks
    ''And within the depths of Japan, a young man named Hideo Freaking Kojima was playing with Mega Bloks...and then he said BOLLOCKS TO THAT!!! *Mega Bloks box falls away to reveal the FOX Engine logo box* and started playing with Lego.
    Hater: Eeeeehhh, it's a nuked fridge! Eeeeehhh, it has aliens in it! Eeeeehhh, it makes no sense! Eeeeehhh—
  • The scene after Caddy shoots his beloved PS1 in his Santa Claus Saves the Earth review, would've been pretty emotional if it wasn't for his over the top lip-syncing of "When Love is Gone".
    Look at this FUcking SHIT
    • Also, the way he describes the music on the first level.
      Caddy: (dancing and clapping to the in-game music) "Lesbians, lesbians, happy and free with each other~!"
    • "And by the way, those triangles? They fit into keyholes, because fucking science."
  • Tekken Retrospective:
    • His reenactment of Kazuya's backstory, exactly as it happened. ''EXACTLY:
    This is because when Kazuya was 5 years old Heihachi was really fucking pissed (grr) and he said:
    Heihachi: My son, I'm not particularly fond of you because you're a ponce and I can't allow a ponce to run my very big important company when I die from death.
    And Kazuya said:
    Kazuya: *unintelligible baby gibberish*
    And then with that Heihachi had enough, and he THREW him down a cliff!
    Caddie in background: Okay wait a second. That's pretty fucking stupid.
  • The entire review of The Great Escape PC game.
    • "Then when you hit New Game it opens you up to a lovely plane battle over Berlin and GOOD LORD THIS IS TOO FUCKING SENSITIVE!!!" *first person camera veers wildly due to poorly implemented default mouse sensitivity settings*
    • "And then once Alec Baldwin here checks you out..." *camera zooms in on Nazi resembling him while "My Heart Will Go On" briefly plays*
    • The pre-alpha black-and-white Thunderbirds version of one of the game's cutscenes.
    • MacDonald's horrifyingly rendered face which Caddie likens to Cole Phelps if he was made from ham. The subsequent references.
    He looks like Cole Phelps if he was made from ham!
    No biggie, I'm Cole Hamface Phelps, nothing is too hard for me!
    [...]stood around like a hamfaced dickhead[...]
    • His rant about how the game designers missed the point of stealth in the "waiting" aspect.
    But before we can leave these barracks here, we need to wait. Wait wait waitwait wait wait WAIT. Okay, guys, let's get real for a second. I know this is a stealth game and we need to get around the enemies and take our time blahblblblblah but I found that nearly half of my time playing this game ended with me stood around like a hamfaced dickhead just waiting! And here's the thing, most of you know that MGS is one of my favourite franchises of all time and yes there's a fair amount of waiting in those games as well, I understand this, but in MGS you're constantly on guard constantly thinking ahead, planning your next move, scouting enemy locations, dispatching some enemies, setting up distractions and even if you are moving through enemy sights you are moving ever so slightly. Every second in a stealth game needs to be used effectively and MGS forces you to be patient and productive. But here, there's no need to plan for any of this stuff! I know that there's only one enemy, I know where he's walking, I know exactly where I'm going, I have no weapons or distractions so I'm literally just waiting here for no fucking reason other than wasting my BLOODY TIME!! And this isn't just because this is stage one, in every other stage I've played that involved guards walking about, this becomes a tiresome idea very quickly. Guys, stealth is more than just an advanced Red Light Green Light and it'll be much better if I didn't feel as though I'm just waiting for a freight train to clear some tracks in order for me to carry on.
    • The ending. The motorbike chase scene from the film is poorly rendered in game leading to Nazi bikers "doing Russian Kasack dances" and Steve McQueen in some hilarious death poses (one where he's face down with his leg cocked up and bent backward over him) thanks to poorly thought out Ragdoll Physics and poor driving controls. Its so hilariously bad that Caddie is left beside himself with laughter to the point that every time he tries to slauvage the game a scene from the bike chase pops up and he doubles over laughing again until he finally snaps.
  • The start of his "My Top Ten Video Games I Like But Nobody Else Does":
    Greetings and salutations, my beautiful people, I'm Caddicarus and *cut to him playing a 3DS and grinning like a ponce* IIII PLAAAY VIDEO GAAAMESHH *cut back to normal* and if you're watching this video, so do you and if your grandmother is...she's probably doing it out of obligation. Oh and she should probably switch this video off because I do say a lot of fucks and cu-
  • His increasingly-bitter rant about the dance mat peripheral in his Jungle Book: Groove Party review:
    It was the first game I'd ever played that involved using one of those hideously-smelling plastic rugs that stuck to your feet and cats would piss and shit all over them and dogs would chew and throw up on them and they would never fucking work after being rolled up like two fucking times and sometimes it didn't even want to roll up at all which meant having it out on the fucking floor all the time, on the floor, constantly, mocking you, begging you to dance, dance, dance for me! DANCE FOR ME YOU LITTLE FATTY PIG, YOU NEED TO EXERCISE WHILE YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND I'M HERE TO FORCE YOU! Yeah, now that I think about it, those things were actually fucking awful.
  • Totally Angelica gives this little gem of Angrish:
    "So the goal of this game is to catch all the falling cookies...and that's it. (Beat) OKAY, WELL THAT JUST SUCKS, WHY IN THE NAME OF MAD MAX 3 BEYOND THUNDERDOME WOULD YOU CLASSIFY THIS AS ANYTHING RESEMBLING A GAME!? That was POINTLESS! HORRIBLE! Do I feel accomplished!? I got a pink dress, HIPPIDEE-FUCKING-RAY, let's hope I win this fashion show, eh? Nyehh... Sorry...that won't happen again..."
  • Everytime when the guests comes into Caddy's room.
  • The ending of "Bratz: The Splatty Ratz That Are Gnatz Covered in Shatz". He decides to try and hold off from slaughtering the game since it's his 200,000th subscriber special. However, he snaps very quickly due to a simple audio glitch, even thought it was seen before in the video. Rather then shooting it, though, he actually goes to his girlfriend's house and lets her daughters slaughter the game for him, set to the most unfittingly intense music possible.
    • Along the way he ends up shooting his girlfriend's eldest daughter Amy.
    Amy: Oh my god is that that Bratz game-
    Caddie: YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR IT! *bang
    • The stinger has a mix between this and an odd CMoH: One of the daughters, Chloe, seems aware of Caddy's web character, and asks if a fake gun he brought for a gag was his "real one". He then says it's not, and then she proceeds to pretend to shoot her sister Phoebe just because it's fake and it won't do anything.
    • Heck the entire review was hilarious, particularly Caddy's reaction to the overly sarcastic Breaking the Fourth Wall tutorial and him imagining what it would be like if games like MGS did something like that.
    • "Why was there a earthquake in here, I just went out to change my shirt and- nope not doing that." ''*slam*''
    • His make-over of one of the Bratz consists of him painting her face bright green.
    'Oh, lovely... I am disease!'
  • "Putty Squad":
    • THIS IS PS4!
    • Caddy's reaction to one of the more... unusual enemies in the game.
    "Oh look, it's a carrot with sunglasses and revolvers trying to- *spouts Angrish for a moment* WHAT?! WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?! BLEHH!"
  • The entirety of the "Zoo Race" review, particularly the glitch montage.
  • "Everything can stop Mr Domino"
    • "You're given a choice between two anthropomorphic dominoes. Did I just say that out loud?"
    • THIS CONTROL CAN BE WANK SOMETIMES but not all the time.
  • "P.T. Makes My T.T.'s Flee the C.T."
    • The title is a pun when spoken out loud. When said aloud, it states "P.T. makes my Tittys (pronounced as T.T's) flee the city (pronounced as C.T.)
    • Every time P.T. is stated in a regular way (not for joke purposes) a clip is shown with "P.T." said in a rather hilarious tone.
    • Caddy singing "Patience" after mentioning he needs patience.
    All we need, is just a little PATIENCE
  • "Donald Bandicoot"
    • His reaction to the two-second-long broken opening cutscene.
    • A bit of fan-made content: caddysfasepromises.com, mentioned in the video as a joke, has actually been made into a real (if temporary) fansite. Clicking on the Impression Classes coupon button will take you to a page that displays Caddicarus GIFs to The Stanley Parable's "Following Stanley". (Which is also in the video when Caddy tries to use cheat codes).
    • Caddy's comparison between Quack Attack's manual and modern day manuals.
    • "You don't know what it is about Halloween. Is it in the air?" Cut to Caddy next to his window. "Yes." "Is it in the streets?" Cut to Caddy in the streets. "Yes." "Is it in the trees?" Cut to Caddy in a tree. "Yes." "Is it in the kitchen? Well, probably not..." Caddy notices a skeleton against his fridge. "Oh no! Aaaaahhh! Who put that dead body there?!"
  • "Resident Evil Billy"
    • This exchange:
    Jordan: I mean how am I supposed to be scared of this game when Billy is following me around this train, snarking and flirting with his flirty, snarky voice?
    Caddy: Well it could be worse, [...] could you imagine if Rebecca was the one flirting and Billy was the one snarking his face off? I mean what you'd this that would sound like?
    Jordan!Rebecca: You know I've always wanted to say this but I think you're really attractive B-B-B-Billy.
    Caddy!Billy: I told you I'm not interested Rebecca.
    Jordan!Rebecca: B-But I like you B-B-B-Billy.
    Caddy!Billy: You know something, I've killed twenty-three people and I won't hesitate to just shoot you in the-
    Caddy: Wait what are we talking about?
    Caddy: We're not very good at this, are we?
  • The whole intro to LSD: Dream Emulator. "I'm seeing beetles again. That's not good."
    • Encountering a hideous creature, Caddy bends over to vomit...and comes back up with a CD in his mouth.
    • Then when he runs into a giant negative colored penguin
    AHH! Adult, I need an adult! Get away from me!
    (runs into another monster) Gah-uh! Another Adult- t-two! I need two adults! I need two adults right now!
    • Due to the limited space for names, Caddicarus enters himself as "IDONTEVENKNOWANYMO"