open/close all foldersCaddicarus is one of the funniest Internet personalities alive. With that, you might be here for a while.
Main reviews (2012)
- "I mean, it looks okay, but… pfft! (cracks up) What is that?! I picked the raccoon, not a boat with a smiley face drawn on it! ♪I got a boat for a face and everyone thinks that my name is Michael…♪"
- "Call of Duty Kart!"
- "No multiplayer mode. Not even on the arcade mode?! What kind of racing game am I playing?! I'll tell you what kind " (puts on sunglasses) "A bad one." YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!
- The intro where he's visibly chomping on Monster Munch. "Oh, hi." (with his mouth full of Monster Munch) "Let's talk about Crash Bandiphewrfueh."
- "So everything was sailing smoother than Christopher Walken smothered in sunflower oil…"
- "Brash Candicoot?!"
- "Crash Bash… wallop boom ting bang dinga linga wop wop wop wop."
- "Gorilla Monkey Anusface, who isn't from any other Crash game, and never appears in future installments?"
- "…In order to determine who exactly is top dog. Or bandicoot, should I say? (laughs)"
- The Caddictionary.
- "Funness? What ponce wrote this script?… oh yeah, me."
- "Oh well, put it in the Caddictionary."
- Has this to say about one of the mini-games having a Shrink Ray powerup as well as a TITAN Ray.
The Joker: Show me whatcha got, Bats!
- "That makes sense, Crashy Bashy!"
- "Let's play some Crashley Bashley! ...Ashley...Mary-Kate... I've got nothin'."
- "…[Flashback, the predecessor to this game] managed to warrant this sequel, which isn't called Flashback 2, but I'm pretty sure that there's a discernible reason as to why that is even though I can't think to within an inch of my life as to what that could possibly be."
- "…the world rejoiced in harmony as video game critics around the world all came to the astonishing verdict that took the world by storm. Hands joined and heads held high, people all over the globe played this game and said unto the world, 'meh.'"
- Let's fade...*spins the box into his hands*...into Fade to Black that looked so FUCKING COOL!
- His reading of the names in the credits, all of which are obvious French names, with an over-the-top French accent.
Caddy: I hope this game isn't too French for me. (adds a twirly mustache, beret, French flag, and loaf of French bread to one of the characters)
- "Oh, more FMV? Game, have you been reading my diary?"
- The Boogie Button. *Notices his ammo counter's been replenished* "OH, HE'S RELOADIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING"
- "And it's at this point where we get to see just what Conrad looks like while in aim mode." (Face Palm, laughter) "I kid you not. This is one of the greatest aim modes I've ever seen. Looks like the terror of the situation got to our little Conrad's head and into his bowels. And his downstairs problems don't even end there, as we can see here that now he really needs a widdle. Urh." (FYI, I have no idea why I made that bizarre noise. Ah well, you don't mind. Unless you do. In which case, my sincere apologies are in order. To make up for it, I propose that you put it on repeat and close your eyes while listening to it. Maybe it will please you. I'm always here for you. Remember that. <3)
- "I also began to notice this indescribable flesh colored growth on Conrad's behind. I'm guessing it's the PDA, but I'd rather think of it as bare bum flesh. It's skin colored, bite me."
- The game changes the playable character to Stitch. Caddy comments 'Hey there, Stitch. Where in God's name did you come from?' and the camera zooms in on Stitch, complete with a Jaws-like scare chord.
- 'The other buttons do Mr Jack Shit of the Coal and Gas Works, Twentington Ltd.'
- The "Black Magic For The Little F*ckers" jingle.
- Totally Angelica gives this little gem of Angrish:
"So the goal of this game is to catch all the falling cookies...and that's it. (Beat) OKAY, WELL THAT JUST SUCKS, WHY IN THE NAME OF MAD MAX 3 BEYOND THUNDERDOME WOULD YOU CLASSIFY THIS AS ANYTHING RESEMBLING A GAME!? That was POINTLESS! HORRIBLE! Do I feel accomplished!? I got a pink dress, HIPPIDEE-FUCKING-RAY, let's hope I win this fashion show, eh? Nyehh... Sorry...that won't happen again..."
- "God, all this talk of Lego has made me want to go and buy some Legoooo–" (Record Needle Scratch, zoom in on price of £79.97) "Ohhhhh-kay… Oh dear. Sorry, Lego, I do go by the philosophy of 'don't touch what you can't afford.' And in your case, I ain't ever gonna touch you again."
- He starts talking about how since the game has LEGO in it, it has to be good. It prompts this gag:
Caddy: So we can't go wrong, am I right? (Pause) I said am I right? (Pause) I said AM I RIGHT!? (Pause) I SAI- (Smash Cut to next scene)
- "Lego Spaceman Super Future High Tech Lego Ancient Kung Fu Master Super Sonic Lego Ultra Beta V.01 Lego Pai Mei from Kill Bill Vol. 2."
- His race car just has a bunch of blue bricks piled up randomly in the front, completely blocking his driver's view. The best part is when he wonders what the car looks like from "Pai Mei"'s perspective — cut to a blue screen.
- He reaches a fever-pitch of frustration to the point where he makes a Stupid Statement Dance Mix of "I Get Around" out of his swearing.
- The soundtrack, according to Caddy, "kicks you in the balls from the minute you start it up."
(The music begins)(PUNT!)Caddy: ...Ohhh!
- "Lesson for today, kids: If you don't get what you want, fucking scream."
- Anytime a Jump Scare happens and he gets attacked by monsters. Culminates in a final, screechy "OH FUCK OFF!"
- Caddy enjoys the equipping sound — "Groovy." — a lil' too much. "Groovy. Groovy groovy groovygroovygroovygroovygroovy—"
- "Let's make this double groovy. ...Or, er, doubloovy."
- On Ash's odd-looking running animation:
"RUN, ASH, RUN! Oh, I mean, er, PRANCE, ASH, PRANCE! Gallop away to the woods with you! Leave your sons and daughters and just— GOD! PRANCE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER PRANCED BEFORE!"
- Every single excuse he gets to listen to the title screen jingle. WAHOO!
"Ah well...BACK TO THE JINGLE!"
- Upon hearing the main villain's voice for the first time.
- Caddy first wants to name his character "BUMFACE", but then he decides that's too informal. What does he do to amend this? Corrects the capitalization. And adds an "f" to the end.
- "OH LOOK, ISA WINDMILL!"
- Every time the 2.5D nature of the game is mentioned. EVERY TIME.
- "BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS aw..."
- This quote to preface booting up the game.
Caddy: Ya best put seatbelts on your brains, kids. Cuz i'm gonna... fucking plow them into the nearest tree.
- The scene after Caddy shoots his beloved PS1 in his Santa Claus Saves the Earth review, would've been pretty emotional if it wasn't for his over the top lip-syncing of "When Love is Gone".
- When he first sees the gameplay of "Santa Claus Saves the Earth," he plays a certain sentence-mixed version of Nickelback's "Photograph," which needs to be heard to be believed.
Look at this fucking SHIT
- Also, the way he describes the music on the first level.
- Caddy: (clapping as he walks towards the camera to the in-game music) "Lesbians, lesbians, happy and free with each other~!"
- "And by the way, those triangles? They fit into keyholes, because fucking science."
- Caddy heads up high up into the first level to see what's lurking above...and sees Egyptian-style deserts behind the alpine grounds and green forests. Cue the Uncharted theme.
- The best deathblow he manages to deal the very much 32-bit game is comparing the awful early 90s MIDI quality music to the almost orchestra level complex "Terra's Theme" from Final Fantasy VI which, on the older 16-bit Super Nintendo sounded amazing, even when not compared to this game.
Main reviews (2013)
The Simpsons: Tony Hoax Skateboarding
- When he reaches to pull a game off his shelf, it gets stuck, so he says "Bugger it!" before a Jump Cut and a retake.
- "ROSIE!" "WHAT?" "BOX!" "HEAH!" *tosses game box at Caddy.* "THANK YOU!"
- Make it more hip.
- JESUS ROADKILL
- About the gameplay mechanics: "You can't go for three seconds before flying off to fucking Jupiter."
- The Glitch Counter, complete with Glitch Gremlin sounds.
- Caddy trying to decide what he's going to play.
- His remark after praising the menu is great, in all of Caddy's Voice of the Legion-y glory.
- Caddy comments how Lara's jogging has a nice rhythm to it, and promptly makes up a song to go with it.
BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM!Tiny balls on end of string, tiny balls on end of string... (two silver balls on the end of strings appear on the screen beside Lara)Tiny balls!BOM! BOM! BOM! BOM!
- Lara's grunts remixed to fix with the Dr. Mario theme.
- Caddy makes a flirty comment in a French accent
Caddy: Ah, Miss Croft. You know how to live...like a (echoing) BIG BOSOMED QUEEN!
- When he asks Sam about her experience with the game, she not only talks about the wrong games, but she tells about how she was so bad at the game that she'd instead play the tutorial level in Lara's house and how she was creeped out by the butler following her, so she would lure him upstairs and lock him in the freezer to get rid of him.
Sam: I was a weird child.
- The stylistically-sucky way Caddy portrays driving in a car, as seen in his reviews of Destruction Derby 2 and Broken Sword II - he just takes a static photo of his car, and waves it around frantically in front of actual street footage (And sometimes a river and outer space), all the while incomprehensibly moaning with the Doctor Who theme in the background.
- The repetition of the phrase, "He's WAAAAAAYYYYYY out in front!".
- "Once upon a time in a far away land, a young man in a stock car took a tactic in a Death Bowl to pussy out and avoid all incoming violent behaviour. Let the other cars kill each other and claim his reward. It didn't work. The end."
- The reveal of the RV.
- His reaction to the incredibly burp-like quit sound effect.
- When he tries to be smart and back away so he's in top condition when he makes his move, the cars just converge on him simultaneously. They descend upon him like a tide of metal and burnt rubber.
- After the review is done, he decides to try the first person camera instead. Judging by his reaction, it didn't go as he expected.
Caddy: Now. I don't know what you wanna do, but I wanna see what this game looks like... in first person. [Smash cut to a first person shot of the other racers gunning for him] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA— [Cut to credits]
- In his review of the Coronation Street game, he finally finds the hidden Buddha. His reaction? "HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN-"
- Pressing the hint button while it's recharging triggers a high-pitched bicycle bell. Caddy then reacts by singing along to it:
"Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring-a-dee-ding! Bicycle, ringy-ting, ting, rint-ta-ting, ting...ring...ring..."
- He also criticizes the game's hint system (which is literally highlighting an object) by saying:
Caddy: It's less of a "HINT" and more of a "CAN'T FIND IT? HERE IT IS, YOU TWAT"
- The opening to the review - Caddy sits in silent contempt in the garden, spraying cream around his mouth for no apparent reason.
- Not to mention his hilariously over-the-top description of how horrible the game is, describing it like some kind of eldritch monster with a description that, while intimidating-sounding, barely makes sense:
A travesty so great that the mere thought of it is detestable. It ravishes in the pain and suffering of others and will rest at nothing until it has fiendishly sucked all the divine souls of the fortunate. It stands alone with over 2000 years of bafflement and hunger trailing in its wake, as it pleasurably feasts on the souls and the avid inquisitive minds of the undeserved.
- "Welcome, Screw you."
- "They zoom in, faaaaade", "They zoom out, fade", "They zoom in, FAAAAAAAAADE".
- "EMPTY CORPSE LIKE FACE!"
- His reaction after finishing the first "level": "I just have one question: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
- There's also a Running Gag of him declaring every single male character who appears as the culprit behind the missing hotpot recipe, accompanied by a clip of Bruce Wayne's parents being shot.
Caddy: Yep, he did it! He stole the recipe, he's guilty, he did it!
- "The Care and Feeding of a Grinch"
- "NOW I'M A LITTLE BIT UNSETTLED"
- Caddy's reaction to the Grinch telling him "You did the right thing!".
- "Read it oureselves or...have Max the DOG read it? (weird noises) YES! A TALKING DOG!"
"Max reads this story. The dog. It reads. And then he gets hiiiiigh!"
- "LET'S HAVE A LOOK"
- "Straight away, you can play as the four original main characters, and the models aren't too terrible either. It's all good. Maybe except the unholy horror that is CARTMAN'S FUCKING BEARD!"
- The Gilligan Cut from the same review:
Caddy: Can this be salvaged...by the second level-SAME MUSIC, SAME AREA, SAME OBJECTIVE! And one of these objectives, which is...Cartman: I just need to find my other duuuuudes!Caddy:...is right next to my fucking arse! WHY DID I NEED TO PICK THESE GUYS UP??!!
- Caddy's Guide on How to Beat South Park: Hold "Fire". The End."
- "STAN! HIT HIM! HIT HIM! HIT HIM HITHIM HITHIMHITHIMHITHIM-"
- His observation on what it must be like to feel the back of your own eyeballs.
- His realization of seeing the name on the front and saying "Da-das not my PISSING NAME!"
- Stating the fact he now owns the game and says "'S moin now."
- Caddy's response to the worm in the well:
Caddy: And, in order to unlock the rest of the game, Croc must spin-attack this gong over here to to progress to the next level. But, I've been finding these special gems to get to the special door. I'm missing one of them, though. Hmmm, perhaps it's down here - AAAAAHHHHH - Well, what do you know? Secrets! That's cool!
- The Stupid Statement Dance Mix Caddy makes out of the "strangely-melodic" menu highlight sound from the game of The Fifth Element.
- "And then the game's music decides to burst through my eardrums as it gets INSANELY LOUD INSANELY QUICKLY!"
- Chris Tucker's "Flaccid and lubricious greasy wibbly-wobbly slippery sausage legs", ewwwww...
- Caddy's crude recreation of Leeloo landing on Corben's taxi in response to the Adaptation Displacement in the game's plot. The Wilhelm Scream and the music from Thomas the Tank Engine in the background makes it all the more silly.
- His description of Corben Dallas' awkward running animation:
- As Caddy leans his head against his window after playing The Fifth Element, this exchange with Sam occours:
Sam: Coronation Street didn't even break you, what game was it?Caddy: It was The Fifth Element.Sam: *gasps and drops with a loud thud*Caddy: *turns around, looks down* Oh for fuuuuck's saaaake...
- Caddy's frustration at getting teleported to a part of the level he had already been to.
"At least now I think I'm making progress. Okay, let's go through here and- oh, I'm back here again! Yaaaaay I COMPLETELY FUCKING HATE THIS!! And then I did it. And I win.
- There's also his frustration at the game's story not resembling the movie in the slightest.
- Corben's turning animation, set to the tune of "Doll On A Music Box"
- Broken Sword II has Caddy communicate with Scarfulhu via telepathy. Scarfulhu wonders what the point of Caddy driving to his house was.
- Caddy's commentary on using a barrel to knock a man off of a pier.
Caddy: I guess this is how it feels to be Donkey Kong. *footage repeats, with Donkey Kong sounds*
- The phone call between Caddy and Scarfulhu.
Caddy: *dials a very long number*Scarfulhu: Hello?Caddy: *growling* Scarfulhu... I heard you like point-and-click adventure games...Scarfulhu: ...That is correct.Caddy: *deep breath* I'm coming over!!Scarfulhu: What- *Caddy hangs up*
- His brief Jump Scare reaction to the front cover of the game.
- The intermittent use of "FABULOSO!"
- The Completionist wonders why people still keep flocking to areas infested with man-eating sharks in the Jaws Unleashed review. Caddicarus describes this as such:
Caddy: It's like building a bloomin' skyscraper on top of a beehive. I mean, yes, there's honey in there, but there's also bees in there that eat people!
- When Jaws/Gums is knocking down support beams to make a pier collapse.
Caddy: I can knock them down very easily, but I can't plough through them, meaning, wait for it...INDIVIDUALLYKNOCKINGDOWNEVERYSUPPORTINGBEAMSLUGGISHLYANDMONOTONOUSLYINARATHERHORRIFICFASHION!
- "~Jaws Unleashed, Jaws Unleashed, s'just a game, it's nothing to be scared of...~"
- Caddy's 'conversation' with Gums.
"Hey, Gums, are you really enjoying this?" *Gums nods* "...Really?" *Gums nods* "...well I'm not."
- Caddy runs into a glitch mid-level where the screen goes funny.
"Uhhh what the bloody hell was that now?"
- BUT WITH SHAAAHKS!
- The really patronising popup of children's character Mr. Tumble from Something Special that appears in the 3, 2, 1, Smurf review.
- The joke Caddy makes about bleeping out the word "Smurf" from Brainy's lines.
- "THE HAUNTED MANSION?"
- "I might have just found the greatest damage sound ever." *cut to Caddy's disgusted face as the Grinch whines "Ouch!" repeatedly*
- "Now some of you people may accuse me of ripping off Doug Walker's review of the Grinch movie, but... fuck it. CHRISTMAS!!"
- "Santa Claus was bad enough to destroy the PS one, but this game was good enough to recieve a DS one. ...That's terrible!"
Main reviews (2014)
The Not-So-Great Escape
- The opening: he gets tongue-tied on his Catch-Phrase "Greetings and salutations, my beautiful people", so cue a "bleah" followed by SMPTE color bars captioned with "SHIT" before he re-takes.
- "Then when you hit New Game it opens you up to a lovely plane battle over Berlin and GOOD LORD THIS IS TOO FUCKING SENSITIVE!!!" *first person camera veers wildly due to poorly implemented default mouse sensitivity settings*
- "And then once Alec Baldwin here checks you out..." *camera zooms in on Nazi resembling him while "My Heart Will Go On" briefly plays*
- The pre-alpha black-and-white Thunderbirds version of one of the game's cutscenes.
- MacDonald's horrifyingly rendered face which Caddy likens to Cole Phelps if he was made from ham. The subsequent references.
He looks like Cole Phelps if he was made from ham!No biggie, I'm Cole Hamface Phelps, nothing is too hard for me![...]stood around like a hamfaced dickhead[...]
- His rant about how the game designers missed the point of stealth in the "waiting" aspect.
But before we can leave these barracks here, we need to wait. Wait wait waitwait wait wait WAIT. Okay, guys, let's get real for a second. I know this is a stealth game and we need to get around the enemies and take our time blahblblblblah but I found that nearly half of my time playing this game ended with me stood around like a hamfaced dickhead just waiting! And here's the thing, most of you know that MGS is one of my favourite franchises of all time and yes there's a fair amount of waiting in those games as well, I understand this, but in MGS you're constantly on guard, constantly thinking ahead, planning your next move, scouting enemy locations, dispatching some enemies, setting up distractions and even if you are moving through enemy sights you are moving ever so slightly. Every second in a stealth game needs to be used effectively and MGS forces you to be patient and productive. But here, there's no need to plan for any of this stuff! I know that there's only one enemy, I know where he's walking, I know exactly where I'm going, I have no weapons or distractions so I'm literally just waiting here for no fucking reason other than wasting my BLOODY TIME!! And this isn't just because this is stage one, in every other stage I've played that involved guards walking about, this becomes a tiresome idea very quickly. Guys, stealth is more than just an advanced Red Light Green Light and it'll be much better if I didn't feel as though I'm just waiting for a freight train to clear some tracks in order for me to carry on.
- The ending. The motorbike chase scene from the film is poorly rendered in game leading to Nazi bikers "doing Russian Kasack dances" and Steve McQueen in some hilarious death poses (one where he's face down with his leg cocked up and bent backward over him) thanks to poorly thought out Ragdoll Physics and poor driving controls. Its so hilariously bad that Caddy is left beside himself with laughter to the point that every time he tries to slauvage the game a scene from the bike chase pops up and he doubles over laughing again until he finally snaps.
- The entirety of the Dalmatians 3 review. Caddy describes it as the worst thing ever, beating out the Coronation Street game. And oh boy, he's so, so right.
- Even better is how it ends: By the time he decides to take it out, the disc had become so red hot from stressing the PS2 to its limits with horribly-optimized disk space, that when he tried to run it again, the PS2 couldn't read it properly.
- His reaction to one dog claiming he likes to "Swallow my bollocks":
You better watch your mouth, young man, this is a kid's game.
- Then he almost gives up entirely after the antagonist dog makes a Your Mom joke.
- The Heavy Metal Pigs.
- His increasingly-bitter rant about the dance mat peripheral in his Jungle Book: Groove Party review:
It was the first game I'd ever played that involved using one of those hideously-smelling plastic rugs that stuck to your feet and cats would piss and shit all over them and dogs would chew and throw up on them and they would never fucking work after being rolled up like two fucking times and sometimes it didn't even want to roll up at all which meant having it out on the fucking floor all the time, on the floor, constantly, mocking you, begging you to dance, dance, dance for me! DANCE FOR ME YOU LITTLE FATTY PIG, YOU NEED TO EXERCISE WHILE YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND I'M HERE TO FORCE YOU! Yeah, now that I think about it, those things were actually fucking awful.
- The opening skit and its increasingly unflattering closeups of him and his sister. Special mention goes to the dramatic music being the drums from the start of the EastEnders theme song, getting more offkey with each cut between shots.
- The ending of "Bratz: The Splatty Ratz That Are Gnatz Covered in Shatz". He decides to try and hold off from slaughtering the game since it's his 200,000th subscriber special. However, he snaps very quickly due to a simple audio glitch, even though it was seen before in the video. Rather than shooting it, though, he actually goes to his girlfriend's house and lets her daughters slaughter the game for him, set to the most unfittingly intense music possible.
- Along the way he ends up shooting his girlfriend's eldest daughter Chloe.
Chloe: Oh my god is that that Bratz game-Caddy: YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR IT! *bang*
- The stinger has a mix between this and an odd CMoH: One of the daughters, Amy, seems aware of Caddy's web character, and asks if a fake gun he brought for a gag was his "real one". He then says it's not, and then she proceeds to pretend to shoot her sister Phoebe just because it's fake and it won't do anything.
- His reaction to the questionable 'life lessons' the game imparted, and his disbelief that the PS2 version of the game didn't follow the Rock Angels story.
- Heck the entire review was hilarious, particularly Caddy's reaction to the overly sarcastic Breaking the Fourth Wall tutorial and him imagining what it would be like if games like MGS did something like that.
Colonel: When you want to use the Codec, push the Select button.Snake: But Colonel, since it's really cold down here, don't be surprised if I can't hit the Select button to call you on the Codec. The button could easily get stuck in the low temperatures, after all. Oh, and Colonel, I'm so cold that I can barely use the arrow buttons to run around and warm myself up. BRB.
- "Why was there a earthquake in here, I just went out to change my shirt and- nope not doing that." ''*slam*''
- His make-over of one of the Bratz consists of him painting her face bright green.
'Oh, lovely... I am disease!'
- When he's looking through the song selection screen:
'Wha-It's Green Day!'
- The first audio glitch he encounters as one of the Bratz shows her friends to their new apartment. "Ger ready to feast your eyes on the most slam-mi-min' loft in all downtow-w-n."
'Well, if it's not slami-mi-min', then I'm not interested-ed-ed.
- THIS IS PS4!
- Caddy's reaction to one of the more... unusual enemies in the game.
"Oh look, it's a carrot with sunglasses and revolvers trying to- *spouts Angrish for a moment* WHAT?! WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?! BLEHH!"
- The entirety of the "Zoo Race" review, particularly the glitch montage.
- THE GAME LIED TO ME
- "You're given a choice between two anthropomorphic dominoes. Did I just say that out loud?"
- The fact that the same clip of Caddy saying, "Did I just say that out loud" comes up twice in the review.
- The other time being when he calls the game an "on-rail puzzle game".
- The fact that the same clip of Caddy saying, "Did I just say that out loud" comes up twice in the review.
- THIS CONTROL CAN BE WANK SOMETIMES but not all the time.
- The brief visual gag illustrating how the title makes it sound like Mr. Domino would be an unstoppable Kaiju-like being.
- The title is a pun when spoken out loud. When said aloud, it states "P.T. makes my Tittys (pronounced as T.T's) flee the city (pronounced as C.T.)
- Every time P.T. is stated in a regular way (not for joke purposes) a clip is shown from that aforementioned sketch, with "P.T." said in a rather hilarious tone.
- Caddy singing "Patience" after mentioning he needs patience.
All we need, is just a little PATIENCE—
- THIS FUCKING GHOST THAT STALKS YOU!
- "You have to wait for 3 baby laughs that can be triggered by waiting for midnight to strike-and then you take 10 steps, listening to the phone, staring at a wall, taking 10 more steps, calling for a ghost with a DS4 microphone,taking a bath...-I MEAN PISS OFF!!"
- His reaction to the two-second-long broken opening cutscene.
- A bit of fan-made content: caddysfalsepromises.com, mentioned in the video as a joke, was actually been made into a real (if temporary) fansite. Clicking on the Impression Classes coupon button will take you to a page that displays Caddicarus GIFs to The Stanley Parable's "Following Stanley". (Which is also in the video when Caddy tries to use cheat codes).
- Caddy's comparison between Quack Attack's manual and modern day manuals.
- "You don't know what it is about Halloween. Is it in the air?" Cut to Caddy next to his window. "Yes." "Is it in the streets?" Cut to Caddy in the streets. "Yes." "Is it in the trees?" Cut to Caddy in a tree. "Yes." "Is it in the kitchen? Well, probably not..." Caddy notices a skeleton against his fridge. "Oh no! Aaaaahhh! Who put that dead body there?!" Oh and apparently its cameraman Ollie's sister.
- Just before Caddy begins playing the game, Cerys comes in and tells him that she can do the best Donald Duck impression. What does said impression consist of? Cerys making throaty croaking noises into an empty toilet paper tube, before sheepishly leaving. Caddy's deadpan expression is what really sells the scene.
- The "Mr. Jack Shit" joke from Lilo & Stitch: Trouble in Phil Collins gets a Call-Back with a whole new incarnation!
Caddy: But apart from that, all the other buttons do Mr. Bugger All of the Carey Funny Farm, Neebydeeb Ltd.
- Pointing out how the health system in this game is represented by Donald's temper, indicated on the HUD. Happy Donald for full health, grumpy Donald for low.
Caddy: And then, to replenish your mood, all you have to do is grab a milkshake and then you return to being a HAPPY. LITTLE. DUCK. *plays a clip from one of Donald's old cartoons in which he goes apeshit on some sorta mechanical thing. Also a random zoom in shot of Howard the Duck for extra emphasis.*
- There's something oddly funny about Caddy mistaking Magica De Spell for Count Duckula.
- Caddy summing up the ending.
Caddy: And there we go. Finished the game. And all that for a machine that makes rabbit shit and a duck face-sitting contest. Whatever one-hundred percent will bring you I don't even want to know.
- "It's a wire frame rabbit doing loop-de-loops around a never-ending white line until she turns into a frog because she jumped through a spiky line instead of rolling through it. And she sings."
- His repeated tripping over "NanaOn-Sha."
- (majestically, while holding the game) "And now, lo and behold, my children, for this is my gorgeous copy of Vib-Ribbon that I—" (notices a smidgen of dirt on the box, goes to normal voice, zoom in on game cover) "Wait a second, there's some fucking dirt on it! Ugh!" (majestically, with dirt now wiped off the cover) "That I love so very dearly. I love it so much that I can barely control my breathing whenever I see it." (Cut to Caddy breathing into a bag. Ends up looking into the camera upon being noticed) "I'm a pathetic twat of a man!"
- "Once upon a time in a faraway land, a young vector graphic angular female rabbit named Vibri was walking down this white line. And then this happened." (cut to Vibri making a scary face)
- He shows that Vibri reads out the menu commands when highlighted, and then spins the menu around so fast that Vibri becomes a Motor Mouth, set to sped-up footage of a man at an adding machine.
- His take on interpreting the "slightly broken English" of the game's songs:
♪You're not a baby or my hat / I'm not your mommy, do you know, can't you see?♪♪Sunny day, I wank my Wii / I wake up ass cheeks so fine day♪♪Search in my cunt, search in my house / I can't find sauce anywhere I want♪♪Just wanna shake my tits / Your breasts are fun bags♪
- XYLOPHONE CADENCE
- The pre-credits bit with Headless Caddy. "I got no haaaayyyyyyyyyyd."
- The whole opening sting where Caddy calls Jordan, complete with Jordan freaking out momentarily at the word 'collaborate' then simply saying 'OK' and somehow knowing Caddy is going to suggest Resi 0. This is the seller:
Caddy: How did you know I was going to say that?Jordan: (calm monotone, black and white suddenly) You should never have called me...Caddy throws the mobile away and keeps talking.
- This exchange:
Jordan: I mean how am I supposed to be scared of this game when Billy is following me around this train, snarking and flirting with his flirty, snarky voice?[...]Caddy: Well it could be worse, [...] could you imagine if Rebecca was the one flirting and Billy was the one snarking his face off? I mean what you'd this that would sound like?Jordan!Rebecca: You know I've always wanted to say this but I think you're really attractive B-B-B-Billy.Caddy!Billy: I told you I'm not interested Rebecca.Jordan!Rebecca: B-But I like you B-B-B-Billy.Caddy!Billy: You know something, I've killed twenty-three people and I won't hesitate to just shoot you in the-Jordan!Rebecca: Just give me a chance, give me a chance Billy.Caddy: Wait what are we talking about?Caddy: We're not very good at this, are we?
- Their reaction to The 'mysterious anime guy (James Marcus)'s opera singing. Or rather, Woody's reaction to it.
- The requisite title callout sounding like a rapper. Cue Caddy in full white rapper getup reciting the title and flipping a gang sign.
- Jordan enjoys relating to viewers the history of Resi 1, about the STARS Alpha Team stumbling on Spencer Mansion, a hellhole replete with traps, secrets and of course:
- The whole intro to LSD: Dream Emulator. "I'm seeing beetles again. That's not good." Said beetles also including The Beatles. After one last vision of said Beatles...
Caddy: Okay, that the LAST time I ever listen to that guy back there on the bridge that looked like Cliff Richard's corpse doing a spot of fishing!Cliff Richard's corpse on a bridge doing a spot of fishing: YOU FUCKIN' WHAT
- His usual intro has him mix up catchphrases.
Caddy: Hey there everybody I'm PeanutButterGamer and recently *BZZZT*Caddy: I've not seen such bravery *BZZZT*Caddy: Hey guys what's up it's Jimmy and today *BZZZT*
- Encountering a hideous creature, Caddy bends over to vomit...and comes back up with a CD in his mouth.
[Upon seeing an elephant in the sky] Chase them away! Chase them away! I'm afraid! Need your aid! PINK ELEPHANTS ON PARADE!
- SWEET HONKING ARSE BANDITS!
- Then when he runs into a giant negative colored penguin
AHH! Adult, I need an adult! Get away from me!
(runs into another monster) Gah-uh! Another Adult- t-two! I need two adults! I need two adults right now!
- Due to the limited space for names, Caddicarus enters himself as "IDONTEVENKNOWANYMO"
Main reviews (2015)
Crash Team F***KING Racing
- "I'm scripting the video for Stuart Little 2."
It's funnier when you realize that he actually did make a video on that game.
- The Incredibly Lame Pun in the intro and Caddy's sheer pride in it.
Rosie: James, how many people do you think are going to get that?Caddy: I don't care.
- When Caddy discovers that the developers who made Chicken Run also made Bratz: Rock Angelz:
Rosie: James, what are you doing?Caddy: Drowning myself.
- "For King and Country and all the sprouts who sacrificed themselves to be eaten by dogs and fat men alike!"
- The appropriate use of "Chicken, cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep…"
- After the game skips:
Caddy: Ah yes, haven't seen this problem in a while. Yeah, these kind of things tend to happen when your PS1 disc has a scratchscratchscratchscratchscratchscratchscratch—(dots appear in the middle of the screen as if the video is buffering)Caddy: I got you, didn't I?
- "But I suppose if people can make a video game about Barbie, I suppose the notion of a game about runaway chickens isn't too far-fetched. Because Farfetch'd is a fucking bird and that joke was amazing."
- After noticing that a cutscene dubs over Mel Gibson's voice in the movie with a soundalike:
Caddy: My word. The man who wanted no relation to the Chicken Run video game starred in a movie where aliens were scared of wooden doors. Go figure.
- How does Caddy refer to the Chickens' classic "trenchcoated person tower" disguise complete with awkwardly flapping arms? "Flapping your arms around like Brutalmoose." Complete with a clip of Brutalmoose flapping his arms and some Wii remotes around.
- "Dunk chicken! Drown chicken! HELL FOR CHICKEN!!!"
- First thing he does after displaying the game's box art? He sings.
Caddy: Hiiiiiigh hopes, I've got! Hiiiiiigh hopes, I've got! High apple piiiie in your eeeeye hopes~♫
- Caddy becoming "MrCaddyPasta".
Caddy, accompanied by eerie background music: Here are my top ten scariest SCPs to begin this whole thing off. (caption displays "#4") #10. SCP-2125. Object class: euclid. SCP-2125 is an average-looking music box. The difference with this music box, though, is that it has hyper-realistic eyes! Ooooooh! ...and a moustache, anyway, when any sentient being decides to turn the crank of this SCP, the song "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jon J- Jon B- Jon Bon Jovi starts playing. But not in a blinky-blonky music box kind of way, no, it actually plays the entire song in realistic CD quality. This would be creepy enough, however, if one decides to keep turning the box when the song reaches the key change just before the third chorus, because of how fucking awful the key change is, the music box kills fucking everyone in a three-meter radius with LASERS! (imitates laser noises)
- A drunk Caddy quoting his intro as "Caddickinyourarse!"
- At the end of the video, a drunken Caddy accidentally slaughters himself.
- Caddy's bafflement at how Jim Henson's Creature Shop did the character designs for the game.
"So what the hell happened here? (shows a clip from The Dark Crystal) The Dark Crystal. (shows the box art.) This. (repeats) The Dark Crystal. This."
- Caddy gets progressively drunker and drunker mid video. When he reads the main character's unbearably cheesy report card and bio in the instruction booklet, he takes a good swig and says:
Drunk!Caddy: I hate this boy! I hate this boy! I hate this boy! I bate this hoy!
- Caddy comes prepared for hard or bad games kicking him in the nads with "Cockaway" genitalia protection/removal. Cockaway! It gets rid of it. Apply now.
- In his own words, there's no reward for beating a dragon boss during the game. Nothing at all. Nothing. Othing. Thing. Hing. Ing. Ng. G.
- Caddy practically orgasming over saying Ignatius Blackward.
- "And overall, what we can gather from all of that is that I love Ignatius' stick." (Beat) "Yes, I should probably change the script, maybe."
- The reaction towards him riposting a blindside attempt in the sweetest moment possible.
- (describing Bloodborne) "It's a busy game, and I'm a big guy. Wait a sec-"
- Showing off the "Exploding Lara" cheat in Tomb Raider II
- Pretty much everything from the "Garbled Commentary" cheat in Formula 1. Bare witness to F1 commentary legend Murray Walker going off the deep end.
Caddicarus: I need something a little bit more light-hearted now, um, okay how about "Garbled Commentary" mode on Formula 1?Murray Walker: "That's down a position! WILLIAMS Renault! And the race has been stopped, the red flags are out! (The race is clearly still going) Marino! Mark Blundell! He's hit the tires! THAT'S BURGER!note HANG ON! (long pause) Germany."
- Showing off the Spider-Man PS easter egg where typing any swear word in the password screen causes Spidey himself to punch it.
- While rattling off the games that have a "Big Head Mode" cheat:
- Yungtown's unhealthy obsession with Caddicarus in the intro, to the point where he floods Caddy's Twitter mentions with requests to do a crossover.
- Caddy's use of "BALLZ'" complete with a photoshop of a dog with a bunch of tennis balls in his mouth.
- When introducing the game:
Caddy: (3D Ballz) was a game developed for the Super Nintendo, Mega Drive...Yungtown: You mean Genesis.Caddy: NO! (very brief zoom-in on the "Mega Drive" label on the console)
- Yungtown forgetting that Caddy doesn't live in London. LIES.
- Caddy's attempt to rap.
- "Cooking with Puppicarus". Just... the entire thing.
- Equating Cheesy the mouse with That Yellow Bastard.
- The intro, in which Caddicarus does a sing-along of how he got the game Cheesy from his friend Daz. Complete with bouncing lyric ball except this ball is Caddy's own face doing the most epic This Is Gonna Suck expression ever.
- BECAUSE MICE EAT CHEESE YOU KNOW
- The loading screen gags. Of course he sensibly puts the kibosh on them before they get overused.
- His obsession with seeing the Teapot enemy.
- His interpreting Cheesy's ghost flying away as he dies as Cheesy turning into a sperm and flying off into space to impregnate the Alien Queen to make more Yellow Bastards "or some shit".
- Why does Caddy consider himself a prime authority on everything? Because he used his new computer to edit his Blu-ray copy of The Muppet Christmas Carol to reinsert the "When Love Is Gone" sequence. Goes with Crowning Moment of Awesome as well.
- Speaking of Daz, he's in Caddy's head. And he tries to scare Caddy with a certain something and...its not there because he can't actually see what Caddy's looking at. So he gets Caddy to go outside where Caddy DOES find something. And said something happens to be Snow White And The Seven Clever Boys for PS2. Yes as in the same game mentioned in his Dalmatians 3 video made by the exact same people behind Dalmatians 3. Caddy seems to be winding up for a Big "NO!" and-
Caddy: FUCKING HELL
- At one point Caddy lists off famous video game mascots that Cheesy tried and failed to compete against, including Sonic, Crash, Mario, and Spyro. Seems like a fairly simple bit, but as he names each character, a picture of them is thrown onscreen, and when Mario comes up, he barges his way through Crash, who lies on his side twitching occasionally for the rest of the bit.
- The beginning of the review brings us up to speed:
Caddy: FUCKING HELL"Now here's part 2"
- When Caddy sees the box for the game, we cut to him repeatedly slamming his head in a car door while muttering "No, no, no..." over and over in an attempt to erase all knowledge of the game from his mind. Rosie then turns up and, after briefly taunting him, says that the game can't be that bad. Then she reads the back of the box... Cue both Caddy and Rosie slamming their heads in the doors out of sync with each other in hilarious fashion.
- Caddy's rendition "I'm Wishing", made better by Rosie's back-up vocals.
- The return of Puppicarus!
- When Caddy realizes he can use the cursor during the film, he decides to make a remix of Snow White's Award Bait Song with it: every few seconds he hovers over the menu button as it says "Back to menu" in a deadpan voice.
- The end note:
Caddy (in a completely deadpan voice): This game gets slaughtered. [Caddy shoots the game] Fuck you, I'm going to bed and I'm going to die.
(cut to him lying face down in bed with sad piano music in the background)
DAZZ RUINED MY LIFE
- "And Joseph Junior had no redeeming personalities whatsoever, as we didn't talk about him at all or assign him to any roles. He just constantly sat there with his thumb up his ass waiting for his daddy, Joseph Senior, to do all his work."
- Caddy's reaction to a strange moment (out of many) in the film.
Narrator: "But how could that be? Who could it be? *gasp*, oh, there's a funny face on the chimney!"Caddy: "OH MY PANTS! WHAT IS THAT!?"
- First, the game's title, AKA "Best-Fake-Title-To-Avoid-Legal-Conflict-With-Disney" as Caddy puts it. Oh and then he mentions he'd like to see Phoenix Games in court legitimately claiming they own the Snow White cast, or at least the Disney versions: "Yes sir, we own Deadskinned Barbie, we own Old Shark-Tooth Succubus Bint, we also own Toothless Gape-Mouth Soul-Sucking dwarf."
- Caddy and his Talking Inflatable Portal Turret's reaction to Prince Charming's ridiculously cloud-of-dusty entrance:
Caddy: *amazed gasp* Oh my god! Yes wow! Did you hear that, Portal Turret?!
Portal Turret: Did he say what I thought he said?!
Caddy: Yes, I think he did!
Portal Turret: Holy fucking shit a cloud of dust is coming to save the day!
Caddy: I know right!
Portal Turret: My fucking fuck fuck god I could literally piss myself with excitement!
Caddy:: Too far! Too far!
Portal Turret: I'm sorry.
Caddy: Eh, no worries, okay.
Portal Turret: Please don't be angry with me, or I will go ahead and cry now. WAA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A AWAA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A
Caddy: You're not even listening to me right now.
Portal Turret: I'M SORRY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-
- The MLG parody when Chris' dad ignores him.
- SNIVEL I WILL DEMIST YOU
- Caddy getting annoyed when Casper needs to be taught how to fly and go through walls, when he had already done both of those things earlier in the film, and brings up the relevant scenes with an irritated expression on his face.
"That also happened earlier. Did they write this film backwards or something?"
- ...boring face.
- "I'm calling the chef?"
- The scene where they slime "Principal Rabies?"
- The first part of the review shares its title with the movie being reviewed; A Spirited Beginning. The second part? An Apathetic Finale.
- Caddy bringing us up to speed:
"Pweviouswy on the Caddicawus show, during the Month of Terraaarrr... (aarr...)"
(shows a clip of Scott Shelby set to the theme tune from Rolie Polie Olie)
"Wait, that's not right."
(shows a clip from Casper: A Spirited Beginning where an old lady screams "Ghost!", throws away her walker and tumbles over a mailbox)
"Oh yes! That's better."
- Even better, Caddy said in the comments section that he wanted to include the second clip somewhere in the first part but couldn't find anywhere to put it so he included it in part 2 during that segment.
- Every single one of Caddy's reactions to the living embodiment of Dull Surprise that is Steve Guttenberg.
- "Wikipedia lied to me, can you even imagine?!"
- When shocking things happen in the movie, Caddy edits a picture of Thomas the Tank Engine's face over Casper's, complete with a train whistle noise for tension.
- Caddy singing "Jingle Bells" in the intro.
My Christmas album is now available from no good retailers because it's a load of fucking rubbish.
- Caddy's reaction to the fact that Walt Disney had real human bones on the Pirates ride at Disneylandnote .
- "You have to join it onto something."
- Saying the build/erase sound effect sounds like someone being punched in the face... then dubbing over a fight scene from a movie with said sound effect.
- In the same scene, he leaves in Jonathan Ablebody saying "Path" and puts a picture of Mr. Tumble on screen with a speech bubble coming from it and saying "PATH".
- This absolutely random gem:
- "Build a Space Tower ride!" "Thank you."
- "Gardeners can't afford to plant things. MECHANICS CAN'T AFFORD TO REPAIR THINGS."
- The tour of his own version of Legoland. FLOPPY BRICK: Where Dreams Come to Die!
Main reviews (2016)
Blossom Blast Bastards
- "THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN MY GARDEN."
- Caddy always refers to the game as "Blossom Blast Bastards", and always pauses between "blast" and "bastards". The length of the beat increases each time.
- Towards the end of the review, he talks about one level that seems to be entirely luck-based. He tried for four weeks to beat it without paying money, to no avail. That's why he made the review in the first place. Then he reveals that he beat it anyway without even trying, and gives a middle finger and a "Fuck you" to King Games for ruining his review.
- YOU SUCK DICK
- We wanna capture Bubsy, LOL!!!
- The cameos from Rerez, Tennings, Some Call Me Johnny and Caddy's sister Rosie. Rosie just wants Caddy to keep playing the game unlike everyone else.
Johnny: BUBSY 3D IS WORSE THAN MURDER!
- Caddy, as expected, gives the game a slaughter, but what happens next is unexpected... he cuts off his usual catchphrase and instead of telling viewers to stay beautiful, he demands that they "be ugly," then slaughters his PS1, the corner of his sofa, and Rosie. And then he announces that he's going to slaughter his viewers just for demanding he play the game. Of course he does this AFTER he literally tears the game to bits...and he slaughters us with his fist instead.
- "Who made this soundtrack? The London Symphony Arm-Farters?!"
- Caddy thinking his step-daughters were playing with grenades. Again.
- "You just hit buttons in a specific order. The End. And occasionally shoot with a cursor. The End. (Part 2)"
- The intro with BB-8 is adorable once it attempts to comfort Caddy and even providing him the eponymous game to play...until he kicks the poor droid away.
- Caddy seems to be crying about a security recording of "someone" (probably Anakin) killing younglings...only not. "The younglings deserved it."
- Ahhh... cutscene, shutscene/Putscene/buttscene/Jabba the Huttscene/slutscene/FUCKEDscene.
- The cameos from various Kylo Rens: Moody Kylo Ren, Grandpa Kylo Ren, and Wanking Kylo Ren.
Caddy: Well that escalated quickly...Two-And-A-Half Ren.
- In detail Moody Kylo Ren being offered a lemonade...and screaming at Caddy before saying he hates his dad.
Moody Kylo Ren: I heard that!
Wanking Kylo Ren: Hey, Cadster!
- Also, Wanking Kylo Ren's appearance.
Caddy: Oh, God! Wanking Kylo Ren! No one invited you! Don't touch me! (Closes the door)
- Caddy notices Imperial Admiral Sarn's line Hong Kong Dubbed in, and compares his lip movements to a dying fish.
Sarn: The rebel fighters are in range, my lord. Sigma Squadron stands ready, awating your command.
- His reaction to "Admiral Ackbar as Himself."
- Caddy comparing the soundalike for Darth Vader in this game to the one in the new Battlefront.
- The entire intro where Caddy explains how the game came to be. Apparently, it involved the Queen of England watching the Stuart Little 2 movie and deciding that she wanted to play it on her PlayStation.
- Stuart Little's little stuart.
- The mere fact that poor Caddy has to sit through yet another "game" from Phoenix Games is hilarious in and of itself.
- The intro, in which Caddy tries to write poetry, which are just crude variations of Roses are Red, Violets are Blue....
Caddy: Roses are red... Violets are red... EVERYTHING's red... I've just been shot!
- The episode turns out to be a Crossover with I Hate Everything, of all people, who's represented by his channel icon, a cartoon head that floats.
- The cartoon's ridiculous case of Hong Kong Dub leaves both Caddy and IHE baffled and confused. The cartoon only having a single voice actor, who uses the same Dull Surprise voice for every character, confounds them to the point where they can't tell who's supposed to be talking.
- The ending. After IHE and Caddy apologize to each other for their earlier outbursts, Caddy suggests that they go out on a "friend outing". IHE asks what they could do, and...
IHE: I love you.
- The Peter Pan cartoon ends on this note:
Narrator: As you know, all's well that ends well. However, if you don't forget about your dreams... (cut to some people circling around the earth while doing this weird swaying thing) your favorite story characters will surely come back to you.
Caddy: (sits there in silence before slowly moving towards the camera) Well, fuck it in a bucket.
IHE: Yeah, kids, you want your favorite book characters to come visit you? Just believe hard enough! And soon, they'll become a ring of Saturn around planet earth and consume your ripe souls for brunch.
- Not even a minute in, and the hilariously awful dub has already put IHE at his limit.
You have got to be shitting me!
- "YOU'RE A MOVIE! MOVE IS IN THE TITLE OF MOVIE! BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO MOVE!'
- Really, the whole video has many, many momemts that could fit on this list, but most of it is thanks to just how awful the quote-unquote game is, including the one scene where Peter makes the kids fly for no explained reason, prompting this gem:
IHE: (While smoking a joint) Oh, I'll tell you, I don't need to learn how to fly, this cartoon has got me pretty high already, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
- The title of the video is hilariously misleading enough, but the part where he gets the title from is classic
Shaggy: Like, check this out - I'm SUPER SHAG!Caddy: *After an initial look of shock* Oh, I BET you are... you dirty...old...CU-
- Throughout the rest of the review, he refers to Shaggy as "Super Shag".
- Caddy riffs on the clunky movement
Caddy: I know Shaggy and Scooby eats so much they should be dying from hypercholesterolemia, but LOOK AT THEM! They can keep their food down, they're scrawny and lanky as fuck! And, might I add, fuck as a awfully lanky and scrawny young man, so why are the controls THIS heavy? Shaggy runs like an old man farmer wading through his muddy crops! Every move you make is slow, every jump and double jump is heavy on momentum and just slightly delayed, and you feel like you're playing the beginning bit of Nuts & Bolts through the whole game!*Cuts to a scene of Shaggy through a jumping platform section*Caddy: Come on! COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT! *Gibberish that gets translated as U CAH DO EH, followed by a shriek that's subbed as HUNERAH. Shaggy falls and dies* AAAHHHHHH... SHET!
- In the Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase game, you end each level by getting the box of Scooby Snacks even though there are individual Scooby Snacks scattered through the level. Caddy compares this to getting the Dragon Egg at the end of each level in Spyro: Year of the Dragon... "while collecting hundreds of smaller dragon eggs just to eat them for extra lives 'BECAUSE YOU'RE A CANNIBALISTIC HUSSY".
- The Running Gag of his Sanity Slippage as he sees the game ripping off more and more from Crash Bandicoot, which reaches its peak at the broken bridge platforming puzzle.
Oh hey look at this! That's pretty FUCKING familiar, ain't it?! I wonder where they got THAT idea from?! OH I DON'T KNOW, DANGER MOUSE?!!
- Also how do you create snowballs from flat ice.
- He rails on the broken level design, showing Scooby jumping into an instant death pit after missing a platform - and then jumping back to safety onto the platform he missed.
- Then there's the ending: he accidentally shoots the game with his patent pending Turn Into Something Worse (From the Same Franchise) gun, turning the game into the movie. Caddy lets out a Big "NO!" that transitions into him imitating a race car.
- Despite the fact that it's more an april fools video than an actual review (clocking in at just two minutes and two seconds), it's full of absolute hilarity. Special mention goes to Caddy's winning strategy:
Caddy: Once you pick your character, the first thing you have to make sure you do when you hit the gameplay is HIT ONE BUTTON OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU WIN! LOOK, I'M NOT J-JGHRBRHRH LOOK, LOOK!! YOU REPEATEDLY HIT THE SAME BUTTON OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU PUKE TO WIN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING BATTLE, AND IN THE END EGGMAN JERKS OFF TWO IMAGINARY COCKS!!! YOU WIN!! FUCK THIS GAME!!
- Following on from the previous video:
- Early on in the review, Caddy dubs the Phantom Virus as 'Spindly Johnny' and rolls with it through the rest of it. He continues to call Shaggy 'Super Shag' like in the previous video, too, and he dubs the professor with the absurd hairstyle 'Professor Lionmane'.
- "Oh boy! Scooby wax! (Wax falls out of Scooby's ear.)
- Early on there's a scene in which Caddy keeps breaking into laughter before he can get into it because of what's to come. He manages to compose himself long enough, and we're treated to the sight of the Phantom Virus looming over Scooby, who's lying on a table, and the former has the most perfect >:D look on its face.
- Caddy's anticipation when Shaggy looks ready to dub himself 'Super Shag' like in the video game, and disappointment when he dubs himself 'Super Shaggy' instead.
- AAAAAAAAA! SPINDLY JOHNNY! RUN FOR YOUR LLLIIIVVVVVVEEESSS!
- At the end, Caddy decides that the movie gets the slaughter... but before he pulls the trigger, he gives the film another chance: one of the bonus features on the DVD is a music video called "Scooby Doo and Shaggy Love To Eat", and Caddy figures that it might be the film's saving grace. Instead, he just lies around in various positions as the song plays, implying he hates it. Cut to a white text on a black screen saying, "The song killed me."
- LIPSINKIN 101!!!1 LESSUHN 4! MAKE THE LIPS MOVE WITH THE WORDS!
- LEHSSUN FAYLED GO HOME AND CRY! (monochrome video of Caddy crying in his bathtub)
- Velma asks what's wrong with Cyber-Shag, to which Caddy replies...
Caddy: Well I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but you need to be sure that you know and trust the opposite person so much to degree where you think that you're ready to take that next big step in your online relationship!
- When the skeptical security guard inexplicably harasses the scooby gang:
Guard: I don't like a bunch o' PUNKS... runnin' around myyyyyyy university!Caddy: What? How do these guys look any different from anyone else walking around YOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR UNIVERSITY?
- "Yep, he did it! He's guilty, he made the phantom, he did it!"
- Caddy growing increasingly bewildered as he reads off the list of crazy things contestants had to do in the Japanese game show the game was based off of, culminating with realising that one of them apparently involved making children date each other. He then acknowledges that a lot of it may have been lost in translation from the wiki page he read.
- Caddy pointing out how ridiculously bombastic the menu music is by showing a still image of Superman flying across the screen.
- Everything involving the announcer.
Announcer: Watch out! You're too close to the edge!Caddy: Yes, I know I'm too close to the edge, when am I never too close to the edge? That's the whole point of this game! God!Announcer: Here come the three WINDMILLS!
- I CAN'T FUCKING FIT THIS ON THE SCREEN: The Show
Caddy: Look at this fuckin' shit! ('beat') 'Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars on Ucchan Nanchan's Challengers of Fire 1,000,000 Yen If You Can Do This!!
- Also, Caddy impersonating Chad Kroeger.
- The bit where Mr. and Mrs. Robot have a son... named Mr. Robot 2.
Mr. Robot: But baby, you can't do that. I'm Mr. Robot.Mrs. Robot: But sequels are always better than the original!Mr. Robot 2 criesMrs. Robot: Shut it, Mr. Robot 2!Mr. Robot: I'm leaving you now.
- "HEHEHEHEHEHE, WIPEOUT!"
Followed by Caddy tripping over something.
- "It's summer in the UK ad it's raining...PERFECT!"
- "Yes, these cardboard winged things that look like funny hats blew people away."
- "It's a gun. YA SHOOT SHIT."
Caddy: So the game opens with...
Vincent Goldman: GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- Caddy lamenting that the intro for the review was going to be amazing, which involved travelling to "the deep dark woods... in the middle of the day", hitting a tree with a tiny stick (which in one outtake, snapped off at hit Cerys), and pointing at a pond of dirty water, only to scrap the idea because of how boring the game was.
- The requisite "first zombie" of this game. You know how the series' first instance of a zombie was unnerving, horrifying and tense? What happens here? Ark hears shuffling, turns behind...and there's a zombie just standing there almost nonchalantly.
Caddy: Oh my wow. What the fuck was that? He slowly walks towards him, stops, waits for him to look around and then he's like "Tee hee hee hee hee hee! Hello my friend, do you have enough change for a coffeeeee?"
- The way the game tries to play up the idea that the protagonist might be Vincent the murderer only for the game to then not-so-subtly hint that he isn't. Of course he isn't, his name's Ark Thompson and he's a secret agent good guy and Vincent was the guy in the intro falling screaming out of that chopper.
- Caddy solving all his friends' (and his dog's) problems by spraying them with a hose.
"Ah, God's precious water!""JIRANIMO!!!"
- Briefly subverted when Olly tries reasoning that spraying water doesn't solve all of life's problems... only for Caddy to spray him anyway.
- Caddy's impersonation of Lightning McQueen.
- Caddy's song in the beginning of the video with some fidgety like dancing.
- His reaction upon finding out that the game is rated 3+ (the European equivalent of an E rating in the US), despite both Rosco and a random person graphically exploding into pieces.
- Pretty much the entire video. The hilarity starts off with Caddy giving a rating to Miracle Space Race by Midas, which he said he previously reviewed, but before he could slaughter the game, he gets scared as it's his birthday, and Cerys comes in saying Caddy's usual signing off catchphrase.
- The second Caddy starts watching his review:
Young!Caddy: Mario Kart, anyone?Caddy: Oh, fuck me. Hey, past me! Backstreet Boys called, they're missing their sixth member, wondering if you could fill in for them?Young!Caddy: Okay, you delibarately just trying to annoy me?Caddy: Who am I even speaking to? Am I high?
- At one point of the review, Caddy falls from the couch because of a Jump Scare involving his 2012 self's loud voice.
Caddy: Hey, past me, there's a thing called volume adjustment. In video editing. You move the thing up and down, and it makes things louder or quieter. Use it more.Young!Caddy: ...colored and shaped differently. OH MY GOD A BRIDGE!Caddy: No, you're not gonna use it? Ok, fine, fuck you then.
- Kill it, kill it, die in a hole, strangle yourself, drown in a puddle, (beat) shit your pants.
- Present day Caddy remarks on some strange gesticulating from his younger self:
Young!Caddy: (hands on the back of his head while violently shaking up and down) What kind of racing game am I playing?!Caddy: JESUS, I'M HAVING A FIT!
- Story Time with Daddy Caddy.
- Caddy's frustration with finding a string of demos. One of them having music flatout ripped from Star Wars.
- "One day, Lightning McQueen met Sally in the middle of the road and he was feeling naughty and decided to raid her boot and leave his oil in there, the end."
- In A Bob, Caddy picks the team from Sweden, "because they look the cutest and also-" (cue Swedish Chef soundclip)
- Caddy plays Clone once again, and claims that the next time he hears the creatures scream, he will promptly shit himself. Cue scream and Caddy doing just that.
- Caddy plays One on One, which turns out to be a very shoddily-made basketball game.
Caddy: (in a very strained whisper) I think I'm just about done here.
- Caddy plays Rocks 'n' Gems, and dies very quickly thanks to a suddenly falling boulder.
Caddy: Well this doesn't seem too bad, I mean... *a boulder falls on his character, blowing him up**beat*Ringo Starr: "OOOOOUUUGGHHHHH!!!", groaned GORDON!!
- The video starts with Caddy digging in his garden, only to be bugged by Cerys to cover Spyro because he promised it last video. He gives her what she wanted.
- Caddy's struggle to talk positively about the game through several hilarious bugs. He ends up beating the game in less than ten minutes, the average length of a speedrun.
- Caddy goes back to digging in his garden, only this time he buries the game.
- The intro, which begins with Caddy saying his bed is calling to him "like a pigeon", and ends with him trying to fly a half gallon of milk.
- STUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNT COPTEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!
- Caddy comparing the difficulty to other games, complete with visual representations.
Caddy: Dark Souls, go away, Battletoads, jog on, Ninja Gaien 2004, on your bike, The Lost Levels, fly a kite through space, good luck trying to breathe you dick!
- The game constantly belittling Caddy's every attempt to play. This includes the instruction manual, which bluntly states "You will NEVER beat this game."
- Caddy describes the Difficulty Spike going from the tutorial to the actual challenges as the game taking off its boxing glove, donning safes, and pummeling your face in. Complete with a graphic of the game doing just that to Caddy's.
- Caddy entering Free Flight mode, which is symbolized by a picture of Caddy floating out of his window to Katamari Damacy music.
- The intro shows a bruised Caddy, sporting a black eye. He claims he suffered these injuries while attempting a skateboarding trick. He actually walks face-first into the corner of a door. Cerys doesn't seem to care about it, either.
- Caddy then asks for something cool to put on his face, since they ran out of frozen peas. Somebody (probably Cerys) throws Cool Boarders 3 at him.
- The ending. Caddy prepares to slaughter the game, only to be stopped by several AK-47's aiming at him, presumably by fans of the game. He then tells them that he can just drag out the video as long as he wants, but it won't end unless he shoots the game. The video goes on like this for the next minute or so, only ending in mid-sentence as he still tells his attackers that he'll drag out the video as long as necessary.
- "Cash Banooka"
- The return of the Fun Fact guy is also him getting somewhat Running Gagged, as he explains that not only is he out of fun facts AND the desire to tell them, but he's fallen into a well.
"I'm STUCK, that's why there's an echo in here all the time. HELP ME, I'M DESPERATELY AND IM HUNGRY FOR DINNER, HOW ABOUT SOME FISH AND CHIPS? . . . Did you know Crash's original name was Willy Wombat, NGHAHAHAHAH-"
- When doing his usual "Slaughter or Salvage" intro bit, instead of the normal guns he pulls out, he pulls out crudely-made paper versions of them made by his girlfriend's daughter, Caddy then Lampshades this, puts them away (because it won't kill anybody) and pulls the real gun out.... "to kill people".
- Shortly afterwards (and quite suddenly too), there's a gag where he's just repeatedly pulls the trigger, making a clicking sound and then goofly proclaiming "IT'S A PROP!"
- "The Sony Toilet Seat"
- CASH BANOOKA 2: GRINGOTT'S STEAKHOUSE!
- The Crash 2 Commercials and Caddy's reaction to them.
- Anytime Caddy plays a clip from the Commercials.
- The gag about Ripper Roo coming back to life for some reason.
- Caddy doing what we completionists were too afraid to do: AVOID EVERYTHING, INCLUDING THE CRYSTALS! (Minus the Blue Gem) TWICE!
- "YOU FUCKING GRINCH BOXES!"
- The return of "Rape-Face Crash".
- In response to the fact Clancy Brown voices Cortex, he plasters Mr.Krab's head on Cortex's body. We also get this:
- Cortex (in Mr.Krabs Voice and lip synced to match): I don't care about the children, I just care about their Parent's money.
- Caddy letting his daughter do the Salvage, with the Paper Salvage Gun.
- Caddy wondering what kind of painful constipation Clancy Brown was suffering from when he did the Title Scream.
- Caddy points out that punching doesn't make a whole lot of sense as a power-up.
- Caddy: That's not really a "power-up" and more a "thing that every breathing person with a fist can do-up".
- Caddy pointing out that the game is about Disney's rendition of the Greek hero and not the Marvel Comics one. Complete with a jaunty close up of the famous COOL STORY BRO panel.
- Showing a bit of unease at one of the Muses on the main menu, whose head never moves.
- Really really really wanna zigazig ah!
- The Spice Girls' in-game models are so creepy that he comes up with new names for them: Chin Spice, Steamroller Spice, Witch Spice, Rat Spice, and... Scary Spice, the only girl who doesn't need to change her name because she looks fucking terrifying.
- The Host's finger icons happen to be a point and an "A-OK". Caddy puts two and two together, calling him a "finger-fucker" and crudely animating the hands doing just that.
- The Mixing Room's host's thick Cockney accent drives Caddy mad:
Are you even speaking English, you goatee, beanie, Rayman, finnger fucker?! 'NO!'
- SPY SKULL *cue image of a skeleton in a suit with a gun, set to Rayman 2 music*
- Caddy's reaction to a defeated Zarok's shout of "BUGGER!"
- The fact that Caddy unintentionally discovered this movie while browsing Amazon Prime, and watching it inspired this episode.
- Caddy envisions the audition process for the mom at the start of the movie. Said audition consists of Caddy looking displeased with Director!Caddy and saying "Neeow."
- This conversation between Jason and Dick:
Jason: We want all the same things. I mean, that's what matters, right?Dick: Oh no no no no NO, that's not love, son. D'ya you wanna know why my wife can't keep away from good ol' ''Dick?Jason: Of course.Dick: Well, ya see, the secret is that you take some of the Vaseline of the camera lens behind me and then you stick it up-(SMPTE color bars captioned with "THIS ISN'T FOR FUCKING KIDS")
- Caddy freaks out over how Jason and Kate start getting hot and heavy over a discussion about doorknobs and cabinets, followed by the sudden appearance of Jason's friend Samantha, who just stands there and stares at them making out.
Main reviews (2017)
- When Caddy points out how much Sony were pushing the Dual Shock controller on the box.
- The Running Gag in which each time Caddy says Ape Escape, he replaces Ape and Escape with different words that sound like them.
- At the start of the review, it's Tape Escape. By the end, it's Nate Drake's Flake's Escape.
- His rendition of the the opening theme. Just all of it.
- When Caddy notices Spike's running animation "kinda looks like he's constipated", he does it in his garden himself, complete with the aforementioned theme song music rendition.
- Caddy loved Ape Escape so much, it didn't just get salvaged, he sent a love letter to the creators of the game, of which he puts in the post box, but gets his hand stuck in the process.
- Previously On the Ape Escape review: Caddy got his hand stuck in the letter box when he posted his love letter to the Ape Escape devs, and had to have his hand cut off by a postman's emergency hand removal saw for just an occasion. Then Caddy got a reply from the Ape Escape devs and a hand regrowth pill...of course said "dev" is obviously Brutalmoose fucking with Caddy again, even regrowing his hand just to have Caddy in his debt.
- To Caddy's shock, Jake is voiced by Justin "Mr. Tumble/Jonathan Ablebody" Fletcher. But he is Caddy's "mohawk bro" so...
- Comparing Uncle Max to the deformed baby from Eraserhead.
- "Bella's Fairytale ale ale ale"
- Caddy demonstrates one of the mini-games in Bella's Fairytale ale ale ale
Caddy: The first trial is trying to figure out how to move a giant sleeping dragon and we need to do it carefully enough that it dosen't get angry and decide to eat us.
*cue Jake banging on a gong as loud as possible*
- Caddy demonstrating the collision effects in one of the mini-games.
Jake: Get ready for Dot Man! *immediately bumps into a barn*
Caddy: *laughing* Well, I don't think anyone was ready for Dot Man there. Can we get a montage?
* cue the same clip playing again at different speeds*
- Brutalmoose threatens to nuke Caddy if he doesn't review the game...and then nukes him at the end anyway. "Screw it I just nuked you anyway, I don't care."
- The intro.
- The You Know What They Say, Hakuna Matata Running Gag.
- "Simba's stuck, Simba's stuck, Simba's stuck on a wall, the fuck?"
- This exchange when Simba dies in the stampede level:
Mufasa: As king, you must learn the delicate balance of the Circle of Life.
Caddicarus: Mufasa himself gets disappointed with you like you're delaying his own death, and he hates his own son for how much of a failure he is for killing him late!
- Caddicarus points out the Plot Hole of Mufasa talking to Simba in the level where Simba has to save Pumbaa from Nala, despite Mufasa being killed in the previous level.
Cadiccarus Mimicking Pumbaa: Timon, we're being contacted from beyond the grave!
Caddicarus Mimicking Timon: Get the fuck outta here!
- Also, this exchange during the same level:
Caddicarus: And in this dire situation, what does his best buddy Timon do?
Timon: So, Simba, What? You stopped for coffee and danish?
Caddicarus: Be a snarky dickhole about the whole thing! (The camera zooms in on Timon's crotch.)
- This exchange in the first Simba's Pride Level:
Mufasa: Focus, Simba!
Caddicarus: Oh, fuck off, Mufasa! You're not even alive!
** It is after which Caddicarus tries to slaughter it... but instead of the usual "Bang!", the gun just clicks. Caddicarus looks into the gun, realizing that he ran out of bullets.
- His reaction to Humpty Dumpty's appearance, claiming that he's worse than the Kinder Surprise take on Humpty.
- Caddy: Oh, ooooh lord he's coming. Oh, he's coming up- THERE HE IS! AHH! MY GOD!!! If you thought the Kinder Egg was scary, well, this guy's coming to get you seven days after you finish this video!
- Of course, his reaction to the rhyme being sung's even better.
Caddy: OK, whatever, I'm over this now, let's just enjoy it for what it is.Singer *In a deep, booming voice*: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall!Caddy: Oh, no, the singing isn't helping! Oh god quick, just fall off the bloody wall, expose your brain, die horribly and let's move on!
- When Caddy gets to This is the Way the Ladies Ride, there's his reaction to how hard the baby is being bounced for the "way the farmers ride" part.
- Caddy: (accompanied by sped-up footage) AHH! NO! Stop, STOP! CALM DOWN, YOU'LL DESTROY THE INFANT!
- His reaction to an elderly cast member, whom he finds adorably charming.
Caddy: Look at that face; what a steal! I wanna steal him.
- "Little boy blue, come blow your horn. The sheep are in the meadow, why can't we watch porn?"
- His horrified reaction to The Crooked Man, which leads to him being so terrified he hides behind his couch. Especially when the Crooked Man starts laughing and shaking his limbs.
- Caddy: SWEET BONKING WANK BISCUITS!
- Caddy's brief little summary of part 1.
- Caddy's version of "A Was an Apple Pie". Just... the whole thing. It's one and a half minutes of Caddy inflicting crazed antics on a pork pie (not an apple pie, because they suck), including but not limited to inspecting it with a magnifying glass, mourning for it, nodding at it, squishing it open, scattering it all over his lawn and offering a crumb from the lawn to someone who apparently wanted it.
- There's also this exchange.
Singer: Q: Quartered it...
Caddy: I can't because I just opened it.
Singer: R: Ran for it.
* Caddy does just that*
Singer: S: Stole it...
* Caddy sweeps the remnants of the pie to the side of the counter*
Singer: T: Took it...
* the exact same clip of Caddy sweeping the pie aside repeats*
Caddy (in-tune): That's the same thing.
- Not to mention the finale...
Singer: X, Y, Z and ampersand...Caddy: This / isn't / a letter / you TWATS.
- There's also this exchange.
- Caddy goes over Oranges and Lemons and how it suddenly takes a turn for the darker at its ending.
- When it gets to "Bingo Was His Name-o" he points out the Special Effects Failure of the doghouse jittering around as the letters "B-I-N-G-O" appear on it.
- When it gets to "Polly, Put the Kettle On", he doesn't talk about the rhyme as much as he gives us this exchange between one of the puppets and a stylist.
- The opening...
[through snores] I am sleeping ... I am sleeping ... I am sleep- IAMNOTSLEEPINGANYMORE.[runs through the house to whimsical music][singing] Peppa's Ribs- [a set of pork ribs fall onto a chopping board] [choking noise][smash cut to intro theme]
- He gets Phoebe in for a skit too.
Caddy in an odd voice: HEY PHOEBE DO YOU WANT SOME GENUINE PEPPA PIG FLESH? (tosses down a Peppa Pig jelly onto the table. Phoebe begins eating a tiny bit of it.)
Caddy: TASTES NICE. YOU LIKE EATING PEPPA'S INSIDES?
Phoebe: Not really.
Caddy in normal voice: Oh.
- This gem, in reference to the car the family uses in the camping episode, which can turn into a boat for no adequately explored reason:
Caddy: Oh, and by the way, this is the car of the future.
(camera zooms in on the car-boat's flag, which has a Jolly Roger on it)
Caddy: Go and pillage.
- "I also don't know if you noticed this before, but since Peppa's parents are actually called Mummy and Daddy Pig, those are their names as characters. That means when they were conceiving George and Peppa, they were fucking each other and saying "Oh Mummy, Oh Mummy!" and "Oh Daddy, Oh Daddy!" and that is just the WORST FUCKING THING!
- ...And the ending, in which Caddy, wrapped up in multiple blankets with Peppa Pig designs, declares himself the 'Bacon Wizard', and cooks up a dish of several pieces of Peppa Pig merchandise, along with several pieces of the ribs from the intro, in a skillet, then proceeds to make a 'sausage' by shoving the result into a condom. This sequence lasts for a full four minutes.
Thank you for joining me today, that is how you make proper organic free range Peppa Pig sausages, [runs a finger up the side of the 'sausage'] ribbed for their pleasure. [corpses a fraction of a second before a smash cut to black]
- As Caddy prepares to do his next video after the previous one, he discovers that a narrator is narrating everything he does (no matter how obvious it is) and whimsical music is playing in the background. Caddy realizes that he has contracted the dreaded Peppatitus.
- Caddy considers Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys to have a better story than The Simpsons Wrestling. (As well as Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain)
- The second time this joke happens, the inflatable Portal turret suddenly appears, prompting Caddy to smack it away while it screams.
- The return of Story Time with Daddy Caddy.
- Caddy literally driving off of his sofa in the beginning of the video.
- Much like he did with The Simpsons Wrestling, he puts the Toy Story disk in a PC to look at its files and discovers files named "POTHEAD". He mistakes them for describing Andy at first, until he realizes that these are files for Mr. Potato Head, to his amusement.
- Caddy spending a decent amount of the video, being fully aware of how embarrassing this video will be.
Caddy (after talking about a scene from Teletubbies: At this point, I would happily change the channel. If I was lucky, Funnybones would be on! (beat) I told you this video would be embarrassing, didn't I?
- Caddy's interpretation of the Funnybones intro.
Caddy (in a gruff, deep voice): So kids, if you wait until the dead of the night and go into a dark empty house and down the stairs into the dank dirty basement full of spiders, you'll find a family of dead rotting corpses waiting for you!
- "Funnybones? More like... Shityourpantsbones."
- "Hey, look, it's the Muppets!" (clip of sped up Miss Piggy having a fit with the sound of a man screaming overlayed)
- He talks about a segment from the 90's Spider-Man cartoons, specifically where Spidey's telling a fan of his origins, and when he was bitten by the radioactive spider, he hallucinated that he had turned into a giant spider. One which still had Peter's human head attached to it. Caddy's look of utter shock and 'WTF am I looking at?!', alongside the repeated record-scratching in the background is absolutely gut-busting.
- Caddy continues his trend of referring to Angelica as "Fanny".
- Caddy is torn on the game. While he finds it fun and a great representation of the show, the controls and camera are, as he describes it, "fucking wank". While he does enjoy the game, he's not sure if he should salvage it. What's the one thing that made him make up his mind? Reptar dancing with a top hat and cane in the final level. Salvaged!
- Caddy walking like Stu does in one of the cutscene animations.
- The titular line, which is shouted with increasing distortion as the review goes on.
- Caddy is so genuinely bored and low on material to talk about that he finds the box art, registration card, and his personal credit score more interesting to talk about.
Caddicarus: (standing with his head out of the camera's view) Can you see how insufferably boring this game is?! It's making personal banking interesting! PERSONAL! BANKING!
- Why am I stuck on the wall? Why am I stuck on the wall? Why am I stuck on the wall? Why am I stuckfnfgbfmgbfgf....
- 'I can't work today, my shoes are too tight!'
- The completely random rendition of "One Potato, Two Potato" following a rage moment. It must be seen to be believed.
- Caddy preludes the last entry on the list by mentioning it is going to piss people off... before cutting to him crouching behind his couch declaring "BUT YOU KNOW, FUCK IT, WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE?!" with a smile on his face.
(cue Caddy's subscription count creeping to frame)
- The irony here is that said entry was Twilight Town in Kingdom Hearts 2... which is seen by even the games' fans as being shit.
Junogray1: I was under the impression that most people did not like KH2's opening
- The irony here is that said entry was Twilight Town in Kingdom Hearts 2... which is seen by even the games' fans as being shit.
- Caddy pointing out how Aku-Aku doesn't sound as horrified when he sees that Uka-Uka has freed the Elementals as much as he sounds like a concerned mother.
Aku-Aku: Uka-Uka-Caddicarus: -Did you forget to tidy your room?
- "Now enough pickles and pimples, and let's kick off." *cue Caddy kicking a fence*
- "Stage 3 then has you rolling around in a big ball-JESUS AM I PLAYING CRASH BANDICOOT OR FUCKING ACTION 52?!!"
- Caddy playing the Skyrim theme as the dragon chases Crash in Wizards & Lizards.
- The Running Gag of Caddy asking Wa-Wa about what he thinks of the game up to that point, with the latter responding with Full Metal Jacket quotes.
Caddicarus: Well, I don't know, what do you think, Wa-Wa?Wa-Wa *as Gunny Hartman*: I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND SKULL FUCK YOU!!!
- The opening has Caddy sleeping, then the "#CustomCrash Crash" exclaims that he's back. Cue Caddy saying "CRASH IS BACK." over and over again, with a few gibberish here and there, until he reaches a hotel in America and is given the hand by an irritated Somecallme Johnny.
- Caddy's editing makes it clear that Johnny's way of doing things don't need all that much to feel like a Caddicarus video, particularly by exaggerating Johnny's brief lapses of frustration or anger with his usual editing skills. It shines through particularly with Johnny's rant about Cold Hard Crash.
Caddicarus: Okay, yeah, but now they have the box tally so that hidden box in the bonus stage isn't a problem anymore...!Johnny: I DON'T FUCKING CARE
- Caddy requesting Johnny to turn on Censored Mode, only to temporarily break it with a Cluster Bleep-Bomb rant about the new jetski mechanics on Hot Coco.
- Coco on the monkey bars with three Aku-Aku's, with Rugrats: Search for Reptar music to boot.
- Every time Caddy begs Johnny for a Crash Dance-off. Johnny eventually caves in after Caddy tries to suffocate him with a pillow case.
- A Freeze-Frame Bonus reveals that Caddy is somehow playing using a Nintendo 64 controller of all things.
- His interpretation of the game's lyrics are just as hilarious as his interpretation of Vib Ribbon's lyrics
"We can't afford this bedroom"."Just making a condom, dude"
- Seeing the XS in the European title for Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure and claiming it's a rhyhm game called Crash Bandicoot Xylophone/Saxophone.
- Caddicarus claims that he can make better dialogue for the intro of the game, which turns out to be Uka Uka yelling at Cortex to stop making excuses while Cortex constantly says "But the Bandicoot!"
- The intro sees Caddy recreate the "You are a child's plaything!" bit from the first movie in response to a Youtube commentator with Captain America as his icon (one Thomas Wiczulis) asking him to "please make a video on Toy Story 2 for the PS1".
- On that note, would you care to know what the highest rated comment on the video is?
Thomas Wiczulis: Thank you for making a video on Toy Story 2 for the PS1.
- There's also Rosie, using a Buzz Lightyear toy to re-enact Buzz's comeback.
Rosie: You are a sad strong little man, and you have my pity. Farewell. *makes the toy flip the bird*
- On that note, would you care to know what the highest rated comment on the video is?
- Caddy points out how everyone requesting this game keep getting the name wrong. It's not "Toy Story 2". It's "Toy Story Fucking 2".
- "The thing about TS2 on PS1 is that it's RGF. ...Really good fucking."
- Buzz crashing into the ceiling when trying to take off.
Buzz: To infinity, and bey- *BANG*
- "And to be honest, this is closer to Dark Souls then anything the N. Sane trilogy fucking is."
- The video briefly becomes derailed when Caddy becomes confused how Al's bathroom (which was filled up with water prior) suddenly stopped being flooded when he entered a vent. He accuses Hamm.
Caddy: (after stomping on a switch to flood the bathroom) DROWN HIM!
- Caddy finds the fact that the Andy's House level has the name that it does rather funny.
Caddy: It's his house? Is he paying the mortgage? Dosen't sound like a wise idea to me if you run around like this all the time.
* cut to Andy, running around on his toy horse*
- "In face you could even say that (Parappa the Rapper 1) is...the...DARK SOULS OF MUSIC GAMES!!!
- "We find out all the burgers have turned into noodles, because of course they have..."
- Parappa and Colonel Noodle lip-syncing to "Chop Suey"
- "This is a PS2 game. Officially licensed by Sony. People looked at this and said...yes, this is fine!"
- "Okay, girls and boeeyyyyyyyyys!"
- Caddy's frustration at the game's ending, which condenses the entire Pleasure Island, Monstro, escape from Monstro and becoming-a-real-boy subplots into a one minute song.
- THERE'S ONLY TWO!!
- The "Caddy's Retrospectives" title card breaking in the third part of his Oddworld retrospective. He fixes it and it plays almost all the way through before playing backwards and exploding.
- Hideo Freaking Kojima, AKA Ballsy Smith, and his POWER!
[...]and it was also one of the first games in which the environments actually fed back on to me. (footage of the Heliport outside area) I felt bitterly cold just looking at these areas. (footage of the Blast Furnace.) And then I felt really hot. (footage of the wolf Caves) And then I felt completely lost and terrified that I was gonna get eaten by AAAH ITSA WOLFFF
- His Metal Gear retrospective, starting with MGS1:
''And within the depths of Japan, a young man named Hideo Freaking Kojima was playing with Mega Bloks...and then he said BOLLOCKS TO THAT!!! *Mega Bloks box falls away to reveal the FOX Engine logo box* and started playing with Lego.
- The opening of the MGS1 video with the mispronunciation of Japan as "Jay-pen" and the picture of Kojima holding a box of Mega Bloks
Caddy: Whoever came up with that noise: I wanna buy some Dairy Milk with Oreos, MELT IT, SMOTHER YOU IN IT, AND THEN LICK IT ALL O— *BEEEEEEEEEP*
- He gets to discussing the alert sound and how great it is. He goes a bit crazy with it.
Hater: Eeeeehhh, it's a nuked fridge! Eeeeehhh, it has aliens in it! Eeeeehhh, it makes no sense! Eeeeehhh—Caddy: SHUT UP YOU FOOLS!!
- When Caddy compares the Hate Dumb Metal Gear Solid 2 Sons of Liberty gets to the hate Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull got upon release, we're treated to this bit of comedy gold.
- Tekken Retrospective:
This is because when Kazuya was 5 years old Heihachi was really fucking pissed (grr) and he said:Heihachi: My son, I'm not particularly fond of you because you're a ponce and I can't allow a ponce to run my very big important company when I die from death.And Kazuya said:Kazuya: *unintelligible baby gibberish*And then with that Heihachi had enough, and he THREW him down a cliff!Caddy in background: Okay wait a second. That's pretty fucking stupid.
- His reenactment of Kazuya's backstory, exactly as it happened. ''EXACTLY:
- One of the fun facts from part 2 of Gex:
Fun Fact! Did you know... that I've been looking on the Internet for ages now and there's no fuckin' trivia for this game anywhere!
- Also, everytime he mentions the game's title, he adds another subtitle to it.
Fun Fact! Did you know... that I literally give up! I couldn't find anything after hours of searching - no trivia for this fuckin' game, so... if anyone out there knows any sodding trivia, please comment below and do my job for me 'cause I wouldn't find anything...Caddy with weird voice But please click on Gex's ballooning face or in the description to go and see [my Top 20 PS1 Soundtracks] now, please.
- Then the third game comes about:
- The end of the first Uncharted retrospective has Caddy talking to himself (literally) as second Caddy advertises Crunchyroll. First Caddy mispronounces it several times, prompting second Caddy to snark 'You're not even trying now'. He even made a sponsor plug into a joke.
Top Ten lists
- At the end of his "Top Ten Merchants in Video Games" video, his didgeridoo accidentally falls into shot as he tries to give his signature salutation.
Greetings and salutations, my beautiful people. Thanks very much for watching my first ever Top Ten list and I hope that I hope- *didgeridoo falls into shot* Didgeri-FUCKING-doo!!
- The start of his "My Top Ten Video Games I Like But Nobody Else Does":
Greetings and salutations, my beautiful people, I'm Caddicarus and *cut to him playing a 3DS and grinning like a ponce* IIII PLAAAY VIDEO GAAAMESHH *cut back to normal* and if you're watching this video, you do, and if your grandma is watching this video... she's probably doing it out of obligation. And if she is watching she should stop because I do say a lot of fucks and cu-
- In his list of the worst games of 2014, he lists Air Control as number 2. His entire discussion of the game is him laughing hysterically over footage of the game and only being able to get out "This ga... this game co... THIS GAME COSTS REAL MONEY!", before suddenly saying:
"Oh. It isn't on Steam anymore. Good."
- His list of the top 10 glitches in the infamously broken Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5.
Nyjah: YEAAAAAAH-HOO-HOO-HOOOEEEE!(beat)Caddicarus: Nyjah, when did you install that car exhaust in your anal cavity?
- Also, when skater Nyjah Huston is sent flying in the number 3 spot, his keister starts smoking and he screams like Goofy.
- The Puppicarus show's pilot: Walking the Dog. Puppicarus attempting to walk Caddy's dog goes a bit awry. Especially considering said dog seems to be trying to tear Pupp apart.
- When a Caddicarus video is sponsored by Crunchyroll, Caddy puts a Motor Mouth sequence before the Hidden Block logo.
Oh, GOD... I'm like the Micro Machines Guy! (photoshopped image of John Moschitta Jr's head over a Titan) Shame he doesn't have an anime...
- Although the "I'm Starting Over - A Caddicarus Update" is a mostly serious video, it begins with a funny Take That! towards The Fine Brothers.
- Kids Explain "Cool Cat Saves the Kids" : Just the idea that his young daughters (a six-year-old and a nine-year-old) laughed at how bad the movie is, despite being within the target demographic.
- This vine of Caddy messing around in Disney Infinity
"So we never knew much about Darth Maul, except *uses the Buzz Lightyear Jetpack* HE'S FUCKING BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!
- Whenever he does a Slauvage where he sends the game ascending in a beacon of light while choir plays, before shooting it. The games always fall down afterwards
- Sudden life update videos tend to follow a particular pattern; The thumbnail is a color-inverted still of Caddy's face, with the title itself being something only vaguely related to the content in all lowercase letters.
caddy's moustache is the source of his powers