"You buried your sorrow in some twenty year old's pussy!"
Ben's second meeting with Larry, produces this gem.
Ben:You murdered your entire family!
Larry: But I was never unfaithful.
"Now spit in it!"
Chad's friend telling him to "spice things up" with Patrick and the scene cutting to his shocked and pained expression as he's looking at some of the BDSM-related product. In fact, that whole scene is funny because he has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
I'm sorry but every time I hear the twins' reply to Addie about having bats I crack up.
"We got batssh."
"I hate trees!"
Tate and Violet bonding over a mutual fondness for gay porn.
You want anything from the kitchen? Said by Hugo to Hayden...after she stabbed him.
The reaction of Travis to being murdered
Travis: Shit...now I'm really not gonna be famous.
Hayden asking Travis if she can get a hug before stabbing him to death is reminiscient enough of Melvin to be funny.
And just later, the ghost of Hayden lamenting being stuck with Travis' dead body, the ghost Travis appearing to lament that he's never going to be famous, the ghost of the Black Dahlia appearing to suggest that may not be the case, and the ghost of the surgeon appearing to offer to help. It's just this hilarious thing of the ghosts each showing up in turn to offer their input like some surreal brainstorming session.
Hayden is the master of this. It is revealed that Hayden sometimes has sex with Constance's ex-husband, Hugo, and then fake murders him in order to take out her revenge fantasies on him. He however, being a ghost, bleeds, but then snaps right back seemingly without pain and goes to the kitchen to eat something. Its funny just to watch him getting up, like nothing happened.
Asylum
Sister Jude talks to the concerned parents of a boy they brought to the asylum.
Mrs. Potter: Our problems started a month ago...
Sister Jude: Mrs. Potter, you needn't worry. Good boys gone bad is my area of expertise. I've had great success in curbing a chronic masturbator.
It's even funnier in a later episode when they show her chronic masturbator, who hasn't been fixed at all.
The Name Game song.
The talks between Dr. Arden and Kit before and after Arden flatlines Kit for the aliens to come for him, with the former treating it like it was But for Me, It Was Tuesday and Kit just deadpaning like no tomorrow.
Dr. Thredson, waiting for Dr. Arden to show up for a meeting, is alone in his office, and gives us this very Sylar like moment:
Dr. Thredson: Okay, now where does he keep the sodium pentothal?
Lana's expression as she gives a fuming Thredson the finger while her taxi drives away. Doubles as an awesome moment.