Kaiju movies can make anything into giant monsters. Including... no, especially Guan Yu.
When Martian invaders the size of kaiju invades earth in retaliation for humanity's launching of nuclear weapons into space, it's up to Guan Yu, the Chinese god of war, to save us all.
...wait, let's start over.
War of God (also known as The War God, or Calamity, or Guan Yu vs. Aliens, yes this is for real) is a 1976 Taiwanese-Hong Kong science fantasy kaiju film, in collaboration with a Japanese special effects team. Because if you're making a giant monster movie, you'll need to get the experts.
A series of unexplained incidents has swept across Hong Kong, from objects and people flying through the air to UFO sightings, mysterious lights in the skies and animal abductions and negative energy fields being detected in the stratosphere, leading to the world's scientific communities on full alert; at the same time, our protagonist Dr. Chao Chiao-Kun, a local scientist and expert in UFO studies, needs to deal with a straining relationship with his hooligan sister, Chao Li-Yu, while attempting to mend his bonds with his father Mr. Chao, an elderly sculptor obsessed with creating the perfect statue of the Chinese war deity, Guan Yu after the passing of his wife, to the point of neglecting both his children.
And then, Chao Li-Yu was unexpectedly abducted by a cosmic force during a camping trip, before returning home several days later in a delirious, borderline panicking state while babbling about an impending invasion from kaiju-sized Martians. And that the world must forfeit all their supply of nuclear weapons within 48 hours, or they will destroy every major city starting from Hong Kong. When three Martians inevitably attack with their enlarging rays turning them into rampaging, skyscraper-sized monsters, somehow it is up to the last masterpiece of Mr. Chao, his perfect bust of Guan Yu, to save mankind.
Clap your Hands if you Believe Guan Yu can kick some Martian ass:
- Action Film, Quiet Drama Scene: While there's a lot of city destruction and large-scale battle scenes, there's also quite a bit of drama peppered in-between, notably moments of bonding between Mr. Chao and both his children, and his flashbacks of old conversations and promises with his dead wife.
- Alien Abduction: Halfway through the film, the Martians decide to abduct Chao Li-Yu before returning her a few weeks later with their message neuraly implanted inside her mind, using her as herald to mankind over the upcoming invasion.
- Alien Invasion: One revolving around a trio of Martians - who can turn themselves kaiju-sized - intending to destroy earth in retaliation of our nuclear tests.
- Aliens Steal Cattle: Not just cattle, but the Martians also steals all the ducks from a farm as well as numerous crops.
- Behemoth Battle: The Martians, enlarging to kaiju-size, fighting Guan Yu who's a giant, taking up the entirety of the film's climax.
- Cassandra Truth: Chao Li-Yu is one of the first to witness something truly strange going on, when a swimming pool she's in starts freezing up into multicolored ice. After getting out the pool, Li-Yu then collects some of the ice and brings them to her brother Chiao-Kun for analysis, but alas, by the time she arrived the ice has melted into regular water. With Li-Yu getting a scolding from Chiao-Kun for interrupting him in the middle of work.
- Clap Your Hands If You Believe: In the film's Darkest Hour, all of humanity's best weapons have failed against the Martians, and Mr. Chao, still insisting on believing his faith in his precious statue of Guan Yu, starts kneeling to the War God while the city is being destroyed all around him while his daughter Li-Yu pleads him to leave the statue and run. But his faith isn't in vain, as the statue suddenly comes to life, enlarges to kaiju size, and battles the invaders.
- Crowd Panic: Occurs when the aliens starts materializing themselves, kaiju-sized, in the middle of the city. As they start wrecking everything up.
- Double Weapon: Mr. Chao's flashback of Guan Yu fighting off a group of rogue gods somehow depicts the War God as wielding a two-sided version of his iconic Green Dragon Sabre. When Guan Yu finally shows up to fight the Martians however, somehow his weapon is back to the original single-sided form.
- Flying Saucer: How the Martian trio travels. In fact the Martians doesn't show up in person until one-third into the film (and even then it's in Li-Yu's visions) with their saucer being sighted in the skies as the first hints of their impending invasion.
- Giant Foot of Stomping: As Chao Li-Yu tries escaping with her father, Mr. Chao (still holding on his precious Guan Yu statue), they narrowly suffer this trope when one of the kaiju-sized Martians tries stomping them underfoot, missing by an inch. There's also how Guan Yu defeats the first of his three Martian foes - reverting the Martian to human size, and then STOMP.
- Green Aesop: Between all the kaiju action and city destruction scenes, the movie somehow managed to squeeze a pro-environmental moral within it's runtime. Basically the invasion happened because the Martians are pissed that we're indiscriminately launching our nuclear weapons into space and polluting the galaxy, and gives mankind a chance (using Li-Yu as their messenger) to dispose all nuclear weapons within 48 hours. Unfortunately that was impossible, so they decide to carry out the attack as planned.
- The Greys: The three Martians appears to follow the classical Grey design; gigantic bulbous heads, oversized eyes, sinewy humanoid bodies, and the like.
- Hope Spot: A rather nasty one happens before Guan Yu's successful revival. With the Martians rampaging across Hong Kong, Chao Chiao-Kun decides to bring out his laboratory's prototype Death Ray for a test, where it easily melts through enforced titanium in seconds. Chao and his colleagues then brings out all their Death Rays and use them on the Martians... only for the Martians to No-Sell their strongest weapons.
- I'm Melting!: The fate of human victims shot directly by Martian lasers. Two unfortunate scientists who tries retaliating with Dr. Chao Chiao-Kun's prototype Death Ray becomes foam when the Martian shoots back.
- Invincible Hero: Guan Yu, who emerged victorious against the Martian giants every single battle and delivers a Curb-Stomp Battle with hilarious ease. The film's intense moments comes from Mr. Chao's attempts to summon Guan Yu in time before the Martians could destroy everything.
- Let's Fight Like Gentlemen: After Guan Yu has killed two of the three Martians with his trusty Green Dragon Saber, the last one drops his useless firearm and taunts Guan Yu by shaking his fists, intimidating the War God to fight hand-to-hand. Guan Yu obliged by planting his Green Dragon Saber's hilt into the ground, so the audience can watch... a kung fu duel between a Chinese War God and a Giant Martian.
- Living Statue: Mr. Chao's prized effigy of Guan Yu, which he had spent four years in the making as his ultimate dedication to the God of War. It finally reveals it's powers when the Martian invasion is at full scale when the statue comes to life, turns kaiju-sized, and begins kicking ass.
- Losing Your Head: The third and last Martian giant, who had his head hacked off by Guan Yu's saber, only for the cranium to comically float around as it's owner chases after it. He even runs a bit while carrying his head!
- Mind over Matter: The Martians, besides having highly-powerful lasers and enlarging rays at their disposal, can also lift objects with their minds, from flinging cars on the road to telepathically lifting a tall building (with a pointy roof) and fling it at Guan Yu as an impromptu missile.
- My Brain Is Big: The three Martians have oversized, bulging craniums. Lampshaded when one of Dr. Chao's scientists said "they must be extra-intelligent with such huge brains".
- Net Gun: When the Martians realize their weapons are ineffective against Guan Yu, they then fires their lasers into the air and spontaneously turns it into a massive net to trap Guan Yu. The War God responds by waving his saber a little... and turning said net into itty-bitty pieces of strings in five seconds.
- Older Is Better: Mr. Chao prefers sculpting his prized Guan Yu statue under a kerosene lamp in the dead of night, despite availability of lightbulbs. His opinion is that "he's not used to these Western knick-knacks" and prefers the "traditional ways".
- Only the Chosen May Wield: Guan Yu's Green Dragon Saber can be used only by the War God, as the last Martian finds out. After challenging Guan Yu to an unarmed fistfight and losing, the Martian then tries stealing Guan Yu's weapon planted into the ground nearby, only to receive a painful electric shock.
- Robotic Reveal: While it might be due to alien biology, but the Martians aren't completely organic. In the final battle Guan Yu managed to rip off one of their arms, and some wiring can be seen coming out the stumps.
- Stock Footage: The chaotic crowd scenes when the Martians launch their attacks have a few shots repeated a bunch of times. Notably, a civilain wearing yellow being crushed by rubble is seen at least twice.
- Technicolor Fire: Li-Yu is at a barbecue party at the dead of night with a bunch of her friends when the aliens decide to abduct her. The fire seems to react to the Martian saucer's presence by suddenly changing colors, from red to yellow and green and white at random. Just as everyone is freaking out, suddenly a mysterious cosmic force begins lifting Li-Yu into the skies.
- Terrible Trio: The three Martians who grew super-sized and attempts to destroy Hong Kong before moving on to the rest of the world.
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: The first sign of Martian activity revolves around a milkman dropping off some bottles of milk near a doorstep, when the bottles somehow starts floating into the air. For some reason, the milkman's response is to pull the bottles back down as if it's the most natural thing in the world.
- Waking Up Elsewhere: When the aliens decide to return Li-Yu after her abduction, by placing her - still unconscious from the ordeal - on a random skyscraper's helipad. She promptly freaks out upon waking.
