The Time Machine (I Found at a Yardsale) is a 2011 film directed and written by Steven A. Sandt, and released on the Internet.
A man named Robert Moore buys a box at a yard sale from a mysterious old man, which he discovers to be a time machine. He uses it to travel into the future, where he rescues a slave, Sheba, and together, they go on an adventure in space.
Despite the similar name and premise, it is not an adaptation of H.G. Wells' The Time Machine or any of its many film adaptations.
Tropes in this film:
- '50s Hair: Robert sports a nice pompadour.
- Absent Aliens: Although Robert and Sheba travel light-years away from Earth in the future, they encounter no aliens (with the possible exception of the dinosaur).
- American Gothic Couple: After burying the supplies they were supposed to deliver to the resistance, Robert and Sheba pose with a shovel in a similar position to the couple in the eponymous painting.
- The Chosen One: The guy holding the yard sale at the beginning says that the time machine is only for sale to "the person who's supposed to have it". Who happens to be Robert, seeing how he sells it to him immediately.
- Chroma Key: The film is infamous for rendering practically all of its backgrounds in crappy green screen.
- Covers Always Lie: See the belly dancer on the cover? She only appears once, and has no relevance to the plot.
- Did They or Didn't They?: The scene where Sheba and Robert look at each other after landing on one planet, with romantic music playing, followed by them fading out (which in turn is followed by over a minute of nothing on screen), before showing Sheba combing her hair.
- Dull Surprise: The actors all blandly recite their lines and don't show much emotion.
- Epic Fail: Despite, well, having the time machine in their backpack, Robert and Sheba are initially content to sit back and die when their spaceship is destroyed. It takes a couple minutes before they realize they can use it.
- Eternal English: Despite it supposedly being thousands of years in the future, everyone still speaks 21st century English.
- Evil Empire: The "resistance" is apparently fighting against one.
- Exposed to the Elements: Despite wearing short sleeves, Robert and Sheba don't seem to have much trouble when walking outside on an ice planet, until their ship is destroyed, at least.
- Forgot About His Powers: After their ship is destroyed, Robert and Sheba give up and decide to wait for death. It takes a couple of minutes before Sheba remembers and reminds Robert about how he could just use his time machine to undo it.
- Fourth-Date Marriage: By the end of the film, Robert and Sheba are engaged. To be fair, it's not really clear how much time has passed, given their time machine, but the movie's pacing definitely makes it look like this trope is in effect.
- GIS Syndrome: Many of the backgrounds are clearly zoomed-in stock photos.
- Grail in the Garbage: Robert buys the time machine at a yard sale for $17.
- La Résistance: A resistance movement exists that's fighting against an evil empire, for which Robert and and Sheba must deliver supplies for. Nothing much else is known about it.
- Leave the Camera Running: The film is even worse than Birdemic in this aspect. Every single step of every mundane moment must be shown uncut. Most notoriously, there is the scene at the beginning where the camera lingers on Robert drinking a cup of orange juice for a full minute. A lot of other scenes also have the camera running for a while before the characters even walk onto the screen, or for a few seconds after they've walked out of the frame.
- Never Trust a Title: The aforementioned "time machine" is pretty much forgotten after Robert travels into the future and finds a spaceship, with the rest of the film's plot focusing on the space adventure.
- No Antagonist: There's no real force opposing the protagonists. Well, there's the "empire" and whatever (temporarily) destroys the protagonists' ship, but they don't really appear enough to be considered antagonists.
- Numbered Homeworld: Planet "D".
- Off-the-Shelf FX: The spaceship seats are clearly just car seats, with a 1990s Logitech joystick for the controls.
- The Oner: The oft-mentioned scene of Robert drinking his orange juice is shot in a single, minute-long uninterrupted take.
- Random Events Plot: The film is basically a series of unrelated events barely strung together by the time machine Robert found.
- Rescue Romance: Sheba and Robert eventually fall in love after the latter rescues the former from slavery.
- Riddle for the Ages: Who exactly was the man who sold Robert the time machine? Robert himself from the future, or some other time traveler? We never find out.
- Shout-Out:
- The film's main outer space plot is a pretty obvious one to Star Wars, with an empire, a resistance, and a cantina.
- Sheba and the other female slaves' dress styles are pretty reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale.
- Sequel Hook: At the very end, Robert and Sheba decide to flip a coin to decide whether to go help the resistance immediately, or in a week. The film freeze-frames after their reaction without telling the audience what they got.
- Show, Don't Tell: The film frequently has the characters say things that the audience can't see out loud, particularly during the spaceship scenes.
- Slave Liberation: Robert rescues Sheba from slavery after he travels into the future.
- Talking Heads: The scene when Robert and Sheba first talk consists of the two of them staring directly at the camera while saying their lines (as if the audience is supposed to be the person they're talking to).
- Time Machine: The device Robert buys at the yard sale.
- Treasure Map: Robert and Sheba have one near the end of the movie, which they follow to find some diamonds.
- Universal Driver's License: Both Robert and Sheba somehow know how to pilot the spaceship they find.
