Fanfic / Salvage Sarcasm And Submarines

The scariest submarine in the South Pacific.

Things aren't going the best in the Abyssal War. USS New Jersey, as an Abyssal, is trying to refight the Vietnam War. The United States has lost a nuclear submarine with all hands. Then that nuclear submarine wakes up, as an Abyssal.

Salvage, Sarcasm, and Submarines is a KanColle fanfic following the misadventures of the most adorifying Abyssal in the South Pacific.

Salvage, Sarcasm, and Submarines contains examples of:

• Arms Dealer: Mae Crizette is a Supply Depot Princess who spends most of her time building and selling weapons to other Abyssal factions.
• Came Back Wrong: Both New Jersey and Georgia are now Abyssals.
  • USS New Jersey is obsessed with destroying Vietnam.
  • USS Georgia, on the other hand, isn't evil and doesn't want to destroy anything. That doesn't keep her from being one of the scariest characters.
• Evil Sorcerer: Caleuche, a legendary Chilean ghost ship used by evil warlocks, appears as a powerful apparently-Abyssal witch who can teleport, summon hellfire, and even raise the dead.
• Everyone Has Standards: Caleuche's powers even unnerves the other Abyssals.
• Large Ham Title: Downplayed. Most Abyssal Princesses go by their ship names here, with their more grandiose titles from the video game usually presented as descriptions of them by others.
• Mad Scientist: Georgia’s ideas about ship repair and construction are somewhat… unconventional (although it’s not as if she really has much opportunity to compare notes with other shipgirl engineers). Her “patients” tend to be Frankenstein-like mixes of different ships that really shouldn’t fit together.
• Mix-and-Match Man: Anne, the Cessex-class light battlecruiser (County-class cruiser bridge, Essex-class hull). This shouldn't be possible, but Georgia just took the head and turret tentacles of a Ne and stuck it onto the body of a Wo. Perfectly sensible if you see them as people, but absolutely nuts from the point of view of ships.
• Mobile-Suit Human: Shipgirls are, well, ships and the insides of their bodies are made of machinery and rooms that are run by their ship fairies. When we get a look inside a hole left in Georgia’s head, we see that her head contains a room that is Bigger on the Inside. Its downplayed in the that while the ship fairies run and maintain them, they don’t actually control their shipgirls.
• Outside-Context Problem: Georgia. By kanmusu standards, she's insane, and uses tactics that have never been attempted by shipgirls or Abyssals, quickly becoming The Dreaded to both sides due to her skills.
• Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Georgia is tiny compared to her allies on account of being a submarine. She still manages to beat opponents larger than her, often by ripping them apart with her bare hands.
• The Paranoiac: New Jersey much to her own detriment. Over the course of the story she goes from assuming Georgia is a human spy to seeing her own mass produced Abyssals and even Mae Crizette as potential traitors.
• The Sleepless: Georgia is unable to sleep. Sometimes she'd like to; it gets dead boring when there's nothing to do and no-one to talk to in the middle of the night.
• Sir Cameos-a-Lot: Georgia has met characters from many other Kantai Collection fanfics on Space Battles in non-canon crossover stories, particularly those that feature submarines. It’s gotten to the point that some fans joke that an SSS crossover is a Rite of Passage for a new KC fic.
  • The series An Abyssal’s Trials in the Miniwargaming Industry has Georgia meet Trinitite from All Wo-rk and No Play: An Abyssal's Trials in the Job Market
  • Georgia’s Submarine Races involves the sailing yachts from Things Involving Shipgirls That Are No Longer Allowed, although most of the story is Georgia interacting with Abyssal versions of them from a Mirror Universe.
  • Fanfic Author Black Current actually parodies this reputation—- instead of a real crossover with Red October, it “reveals” that SSS is really a Story Within a Story being written by Black Current.
  • Sub-Made Sandwiches is a Massively Multiplayer Crossover written for April Fools' Day 2022 featuring Georgia, Trinitite, Red October, Jireigo from Crash Dive, and various other submarine characters from different stories.
• Super-Toughness: Shipgirls are Made of Iron in the most literal sense, taking military hardware to even scratch most of them. Even then they can survive and recover from wounds humans would consider lethal, from having limbs blown of to having gaping holes ripped in their bodies and in some cases decapitation. The only real way to really make sure one is dead is to blow them to smithereens.
• Wrestler in All of Us: Unlike most shipgirls, Georgia's favored tactic for attacking is to physically grab her opponent and rip them apart with her bare hands, or drag them under the water to drown them. This makes perfect sense to her, as she can't see the ship-selves, but is described by Chitose as "the equivalent of a submarine wrapping mooring chains around a cruiser's command bridge and flipping it".