- Reincarnation. Lovely. At least I have a powerful Kekkai Genkai, the equivalent of the Hulk and foreknowledge on my side. I want to live to age 30, but nooooo; it has to be a fighting anime with Doomsday plan in motion! Oh well, say bye-bye to canon!
Dem Bones Dem, Dry Bones
is a fanfic written by slyfoxcub. An SI as Kimimaro Kaguya, it diverts from canon when our protagonist absconds with Juugo to Konohagakure instead of taking him back to Orochimaru.
Dem Bones Dem, Dry Bones contains examples of:
- Ambiguous Innocence: Before Kimimaro reveal that he has past-life knowledge, everyone thinks he's just a traumatized-into-maturity child.
- Ascended Extra: Given how quickly canon-Kimimaro was killed off and now is the main character, this definitely applies.
- Blood Magic: Donating a bit of blood, usually from a finger-tip, is a security measure for the Kaguya Library scroll that Kimimaro made. Only his blood will open it.
- Blood-Splattered Innocents: How two ANBU find Kimimaro when they come to save him from Kabuto.
- Broken Ace: Kimimaro. On the outside, he's cheerful, lively and generous. On the inside, he's struggling with recovering from Gaslighting, PTSD flashbacks and the knowledge that he only has friends because he's manipulating them. He's been getting better in later chapters though and the segments are short.
- Childhood Friend Romance: Itachi had quite a moment with one of these.
- Covered in Scars: See Bloody Horror.
- Cursed with Awesome: It gets pointed out to the readers in the very first chapter that Kimimaro is kind of overpowered. Unfortunately, his Kekkei Genkai makes him rather desirable to Orochimaru.
- Disguised in Drag: Kimimaro loses a bet and has to attend a party disguised as a girl. It works, up until he blows his own cover to troll some bullies.
- For Want Of A Nail: What if Orochimaru never got his hands on Juugo and therefore the Curse Mark? Kimimaro is attempting to find out.
- Improbable Aiming Skills: Everyone wonders how Toshiki can throw something as unwieldy as a wok so accurately.
- Incompatible Orientation: Ambiguously-orientated Itachi has a brief crush on an asexual Kimimaro.
- Kids Are Cruel: A 12-year-old Kabuto abducts Kimimaro from Konoha upon his cover being blown. It gets a bit gory and Kabuto seems on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Even losing a finger barely phases him.
- Technically Kimimaro, as it's referred that he's been indirectly responsible for the deaths, torture and brainwashing of other, much younger, test subjects.
- Oh, Crap!: An Inuzuka, when he finds out that Kimimaro has berserker genes; while Kimimaro is being taunted into losing his temper.
- Anko, when her welcoming prank goes awry and Kimimaro has a panic attack and passes out.
- Kimimaro, when Itachi Uchiha turns up on his doorstep out of the blue.
- Itachi and his mother, when Kimimaro points out that of course using the Sharingan makes people go insane.
- Kimimaro waking up to Kabuto's face.
- Kimimaro's realisation that he accidentally drove Kabuto even further into insanity than he already was.
- When ANBU Kakashi thinks that Kimimaro has internal bleeding.
- Kimimaro's realisation that he hasn't escaped from doing homework.
- The Academy OCs' discovering what Kimimaro went through, including the vivisections.
- Kimimaro accidentally insinuates that he's after Naruto. Jiraiya takes offense.
- Oh, No... Not Again!: Inoichi's general reaction when he reviews Kimimaro's year of probation and Kimimaro points out a few missing details.
- Shipper on Deck: Shisui thinks that Itachi and Kimimaro are cute together and frankly deserve each other, given how Kimimaro's converted Itachi to the ways of sarcasm and weird logic. He's not pushy about it though. But he will take pictures.
- Yuyu Aburame quietly ships Erumi Nara and Toshiki Hyuuga, but it's more watching a case of Everyone Can See It than her trying to get them together.
- The Knights Who Say "Squee!": Technically Kimimaro, given that he's an Ascended Fanboy. But his excited reactions to meeting well-known characters in the Naruto-verse is somewhat jaded, given how he's experienced the darker side of the ninja world most of his current-life.
- Trauma Button: Kimimaro is covered in vivisection scars. Therefore, getting two new scars from Kabuto causes a brief flashback to being vivisected while still conscious.
- Also, Anko surprising him by wrapping him in snakes as a joke triggers another flashback to the point where his powers kick in automatically but unintentionally causing him to almost asphyxiate.
