A Not Quite Smooth Wooing
is a The Hobbit fanfic written for a prompt on the Hobbit Kink Meme, that asked for a story wherein dwarves place a premium on consent in their sex lives.
The story follows Gerrun, a woman from Laketown, who falls in love with Fíli. One would think that a consent culture would reduce the problems faced in a cross-culture relationship, but while Gerrun initially likes Fíli's respectful behaviour, she begins to wonder if he really likes her when he doesn't come running after her after they had a fight.
Tropes featured in A Not Quite Smooth Wooing include:
- Fix Fic: Everyone lives, and Kíli remained single. The author seems to think that Tauriel was a superfluous addition.
- First Love: Gerrun was worried about becoming an old maiden, and Fíli, too, has no prior love interest.
- Royals Who Actually Do Something: Dís, Thorin, Fíli and Kíli all are this, they are busy repairing the dragon damage.
- I Kiss Your Hand: Fíli to Gerrun.
- Distracted by the Luxury: Subverted. Gerrun would be offended if a man gave her diamonds, as she would suspect his intentions to be less than honourable. She's a commoner, and the men who would intend to marry her simply cannot afford diamonds.
- Interspecies Romance: Fíli and Gerrun.
- Flowers of Romance: Explained to Fíli by one of Bard's daughters. Dwarves use stones for that purpose.
- Grand Romantic Gesture: Deconstructed. Dwarves don't do those, on the grounds that the receiver might feel indebted to the giver, and that would be bad manners.
- Serenade Your Lover: The fic is mostly based on the film, but here uses the book fact that all the dwarves can play an instrument.
- Love at First Sight: When Fíli turns up at Gerrun's market stall to buy something, they both think each other incredibly attractive and try to not embarrass themselves in front of the other.
- Marry for Love: What Fíli wants to do.
- The Matchmaker: Dís is a regular customer of Gerrun, and sent Fíli specifically to that market stall. She is also very much in favour of the match.
