The nation of Altara has institutionalized this trope. Women are legally allowed to murder men as long as they can provide at least a modicum of justification, and all wives carry a ceremonial dagger that they use to slice up their husband if he gets out of line. This is treated as a curious local custom. In the seventh book, one of the main characters is repeatedly raped by the queen of Altara and kept in her palace against his will. The locals treat this as an honor, his male friends are uncomfortable and unsure what to do, and his female friends, brutally misreading the situation, laugh and think he deserves it for previous lecherous behavior.
One conversation between Mat, Nynaeve, Elayne, and Egwene narrated from Egwene's perspective has the three girls getting annoyed with Mat. Nynaeve then kicks Mat in the leg, hard enough that he's walking with a limp in his next scene. This is played for laughs. Mat attempting to retaliate against Nynaeve is treated far more seriously.
Nynaeve, after discovering that Mat has a medallion that protects him from direct applications of Saidar, decides to test the limit of this protection by hurling objects at Mat with the One Power. Nynaeve celebrates that she has once again found a way to commit violent acts against Mat without retaliation. At no point do Nynaeve or any other characters acknowledge how terrible this behavior is.
In L. Frank Baum's The Marvelous Land of Oz, Jinjur tried to take over the country. She has a cameo in a later Land of Oz book, placidly explaining that she is content with her quiet life with her husband — and her husband is nursing a black eye because he had milked the cows in an order she did not approve of.
Sisterhood Series by Fern Michaels: Rationalize in The Jury when Vigilantes find out that Paula Woodley has had every bone in her body broken by her husband, the Vigilantes break every bone in his body! Collateral Damage reveals that Paula has been non-physically abusive (for the most part) to Karl, making him eat baby food and watch her eat a fine Southern meal, confining him to a few rooms, and taunting him when they do interact. Female characters take Paula's side, while male characters seem to be uncomfortable with the whole situation.
Subverted in The Underland Chronicles. Fairly early in Gregor the Overlander, Luxa slaps Gregor across the face and is immediately reproved — first by Boots, then by Vikus.
In Half-Blood Prince, the trend of Hogwarts girls using Love Potions on boys is portrayed as harmless mischief and considered by the boys to be a nuisance at worst, which would likely not be the case if the genders were reversed.
In The Deathly Hallows, after a fight with Harry, Ron walks out on him and Hermione and can't rejoin them for more than a month. When he comes back and tries to apologize, Hermione goes into an Unstoppable Rage and attacks him. Harry has to use a Shield Charm to separate them.
Inverted A Brother's Price, which takes place in a world where women outnumber men, reversing gender roles and stereotypes. A husband abuses his younger wives. The socially-approved course of action is sending the husband back to his sisters, without any punishment.
Inverted when Jerin is hassled by an older sister and thinks that if he throttled her, people would shrug and say, "She was one of thirty-two girls — a middle sister — and a troublemaker too, and he — he's a boy."
During Fool Moon, Murphy slaps Harry so hard he chips a tooth. Six books later, she finally apologizes for it - but calls him a "jerk" for mentioning it. This is treated as a comedic Tsundere moment, while male characters use physical violence and are hated for it.
In The Titans Curse, in what's supposed to be a moment of Ship Tease, Annabeth punches Percy in the gut for not picking up on her hints and asking her to dance.
In Mark of Athena, some months after they had gotten together, Percy goes missing for months. When they reunite, the first thing Annabeth does is grab Percy by the arm and judo flip him onto his back, then acts like his disappearance was his fault when it really wasn't.
