Darth Wiki: Beyond The Star Empire Of The Otters Of Doom
Beyond The Star-Empire of the Otters of Doom
is an epic 12 part Punk Rock
opera that debuted on the tenth of September 2008 on BBC 5. Unfortunately this was the same day the Large Hadron Collider was test fired
ending the universe as we know it
and the results have been lost to history as time jumped a track
. Of the many epic works lost in the great paradox, this was the most epic
It tells the story of the unlikely heroic saviour of planet earth, Jaundice Jones the Uber Pimp, and his team of super-powered, prostitute, space fighter pilots, The Beaver Team, and their war against the evil Star Empire ruled by Captain Mustelid-Polecat. It was epic.
A crack team of Paradox diving Entertainment-Archaeologists have determined that some of the tropes this epic tale of epic-ness provided examples of were:
- Animesque: Episodes 3, 5, 7, and 9 are all animated in an anime style, and Jaundice Jones corrects anyone who doesn't use Anime names for stuff.
- Bears Are Bad News: The Polar Bear Confederacy were the rather Neglectful Precursors of all life in the galaxy. Subverted with the Pandas for some reason.
- Big Bad:Captain Mustelid-Polecat, ruler of the Empire of the Otters of Doom.
- Bishie Sparkle: Japan's secret weapon is getting every male J Pop star on stage at once, and then "sparkling" the warfleet to death. It actually works.
- BRIAN BLESSED: Weaponised version in ep 11.
- Britain Is Only London: Averted, London and the entire Thames Valley and Estuary is converted into anti-matter fuel to allow The Beaver Team to engage the Mink, Jazz and Blues playing Devastator Fleet. Jaundice and The Beaver Team are based in Berwick-upon-Tweed.
- British Brevity: Played with. There are only 12 episodes, but each episode was 22 hours long.
- The Ditz: The character Flaming Oreg during the Timey-Wimey Ball episode, who almost deleted the human race through his stupidity. Thankfully he only deleted himself.
- Doomy Dooms of Doom. Doom pizza, Doom filled cans of baked beans, Doom brand cars (actually a disguised Austin Maestro was used for this).
- Dragon Lady: Cyntia Stoateria, as Mustelid-Polecat's Starscream-Dragon.
- Fiery Cover Up: It's possible that Jaundice may have engineered the fiery-death of everyone in the Thames Valley simply to avoid paying a fine for the London Congestion charge.
- For Science!: How Jaundice got Jaundiced, the question of how much "egg yolk yellow" paint a person can safely snort has now been answered.
- Gag Boobs: Kathy Long-Legs has these.
- Gender Bender: Happens to Nick Clegg on David Cameron's orders just moments before the The Beaver Team set off to confront the Jazz and Blues Destructor Fleet.
- Humiliation Conga: How it ends for the Otter Empire and Mustelid-Polecat, everyone on Earth gets their own fur coat courtesy of Jaundice.
- Intelligent Gerbil: The vast and assembled armies of the Great and Glorious Otter Empire.
- Magnificent Bastard: Used In-Universe by Jaundice Jones to describe Screw-worm the Stoat and his plan to have the most stupid man in existence, Flaming Oreg, delete the entire of humanity before it evolved with a time machine shaped like an etch-a-sketch. Thankfully the moron only deleted himself.
- Mind Rape: What Captain Mustelid-Polecat did to Queen Honey Badger in his ascent to the Honey Covered Throne (Mind Raped by having the Sailor Moon dubbed series voices implanted in her brain).
- Jaundice threatens to do it to some guy called Sparks when he complains about the anime shift in ep 9.
- Mr. Seahorse: Thoroughly explored and clarified in the Queen Victoria mini-arc.
- Nakama: The "Backroom Buddies" in ep 5. It's Insistent Terminology, on this as self designated "defender of the way" Genesis Guy finds out. Impaled with Extreme Prejudice on a radioactive pogo stick.
- Neglectful Precursors: The Bears, they left us Rick Astley. A copy on every world.
- Numbered Homeworld: Badger VII and Milton Keynes II.
- Our Angels Are Different: The Polar Bears sent the Spectacled Bears to act as angels on earth.
- Pimp Duds: Jaundice Jones wears these at all times, although he accidentally plunges earth into intergalactic war by wearing a panda bear-fur hat during First Contact.
- Playful Otter: They are so cute and cuddly, and all they want to do is play epic-doomball with your skull.
- Puppy-Dog Eyes: Peaceful-Lily can look so cute when she does this.
- Punk Rock: The entire series is one long punk rock opera, some of the tunes are epic.
- She's Got Legs: Boobzilla the Pine Marten.
- Silk Hiding Steel: Eve the Evangelistic BDSM Mistress becomes one of these in ep 7. When Frog Face Farquar calls her a Proper Lady she threatens to get jaundice to beat anyone who uses that term with his pimp cane.
- Sugar and Ice Personality: Pretty Leather Lass of the Beaver Team in the animesque ep 9, but only in that episode. Jaundice makes good on his threat from Ep7 (see Silk Hiding Steel example) by killing a speeding motorist called Teddy with his pimp medallion, when he tries to call her a Frozen Flower.
- Timey-Wimey Ball: The title of Segment Thirteen of the show is called this, and involves one. No one is sure what exact permutation happened, but it happened 14 ways, hence being in Segment 13.
- Ur Example: The Bear Precursors had the only copy of the Ur Trope in the universe, but the definition vanished with them.
- Violent Glaswegian: Peaceful-Lily, the Beaver Team's pink and lace wearing second in command and Diaper Fetish specialist.
- Wholesome Crossdresser: Queen Victoria was one of these, really he was a fish-juggler from Venezuela in a frilly kilt.
of Paradox diving Entertainment-Archaeologists will bring you more tropes as they find them in the Black Hole of the Alternate World!