Cut His Heart Out With A Spoon / Web Videos

• PurpleEyesWTF made one of these in a video about an internet comment. Purple Eyes talks about an early review of a game in the SSX series where the reviewer ragged on the music, despite the game letting a player use their own music tracks. Nick threatened that if he ever found the reviewer, he would make them walk his cat with a cat leash.
• In Doom House, the only line spoken by the Doll (over the phone) is a bizarre, falsetto... well, it's a threat, that much is obvious. Something to do with putting Reginald's hair in a bowl.
• Sarah in the lonelygirl15 episode "CAMP PLAY": "Get any closer and I will breathe on you!"
• Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog:
  • The unseen character Bad Horse threatens to "make [Doctor Horrible] his mare." Doctor Horrible stops bobbing his head to the music and acquires an appropriately bewildered look.
  • Captain Hammer at one point confusingly threatens "It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently-wafting curtains."
• The Spoony Experiment: "YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I WILL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FUCKING SOUL, YOU FUCKING ASSHAT!"
• Counter Monkey: "DON'T EVER BRING THESE! I WILL JUMP THE TABLE AND STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR OWN LUNGS."
• The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon. Exactly What It Says on the Tin (very much so. Towards the end, the protagonist would beg for having his heart cut out with a spoon. It'd be much faster than being beaten to death by a spoon.. The trailer boasts that the murder will take years).
• Now with the Spaghetti Dinner of the Damned and the Spoon VS Spoon
• My Way Entertainment: From "Imma beat your ass Charles. Imma beat your ass with Charles" to "It's time for some Black on Black crime" to "If anybody say anything to anyone I will KILL every motherfucker in here you hear me bitch?!". And everything in between.
• Jessi Slaughter will "pop a Glock in your mouth and make a brain slushie."
• Let's Player Azurite Reaction is fond of this trope.
  • " I'm the wicked bitch of the west! I'm here to drive you out of your fucking MIND!"
  • "I will fuck a million wives. Both. I will fuck lives and wives. I will fucking do it live. WE'RE DOIN' IT LIIIIIIIIIVE!"
  • "I WILL EAT YOUR CATS!"
• Game Grumps: After beating him in a traditional Japanese card game, Arin gets this gem from Dan, delivered in the most phlegmatic tone possible.
  Dan: I'm gonna pee on you.
• Kickassia:
  • When Team TGWTG is plotting exactly how they're going to take down The Nostalgia Critic, Bennett the Sage comes up with this gem:
    Bennett: I say we castrate him with a fork, tie him to a cactus, and play pinata with his entrails!
  • The bloopers take this farther: Bennett comes up with a series of increasingly cheerful and demented methods of torture, moving through "eviscerate him with a saw blade and laugh at his misfortune" and "strap him to a workbench, pour honey on his genitals, then FIRE ANTS" and finally landing on "I say we kill him."
• Ravandil's Quest is a two-video Warhammer campaign following the elf Ravandil questing, with a LOT of verbal vulgarity.
  • Many encounters and conversations include this trope, but the most memorable one is definitely Urist the dwarf, who will unleash overly long tirades full of these when provoked in the slightest, and being an elf counts as provocation. "I'm gonna flagellate you with my fucking beard!" is the least profane threat he makes.
    Urist: ALRIGHT, LISTEN TO ME YOU KNIFE-EARED PIECE OF SHIT! IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS-STAINED PUBIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG, I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD THAT YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK! I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT YOUR BREATH IS GONNA SMELL LIKE SHOE POLISH! THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT AND PUSH IT IN YOUR FACE! I'M GONNA FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKIN' BEARD! I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MANHOOD OUGHT TO BE JUST SO THAT I CAN KICK 'EM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET, YOU TWAT!
  • The sequel contains a similar point where Urist unleashes another tirade against some other elves. The fact that Urist seems to be on a hair trigger and can spew these insults/threats at the drop of a hat is pretty impressive.
    Ravandil: "Oh for fuck's sake. Urist, you know what to do."
    Urist: "ALRIGHT! LISTEN TO ME YOU POLE PROPORTIONED DENDROPHILES. IF YOU TRY ANYTHING NASTY WITH THE BITCHBOY OVER HERE, IM GONNA TAKE YOUR FUCKIN ARROWS, AND SHOVE THEM INBETWEEN YER POLISHED FINGERNAILS! I'M GONNA TAKE THAT BOWSTRING OF YOURS, AND STRING YOU UP BY YOUR FUCKING FORESKIN, UNTIL GRAVITY GIVES YOU A BOTCHED CIRCUMCISION, AND PLAY IT LIKE A FUCKING VIOLIN! I'M GONNA HEADBUTT YOU UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING BUT A BUTT LEFT! I'M GONNA COLOR THAT LITTLE PANSY GREEN SKIRT OF YOURS RED USING YER FUCKING BONE MARROW! YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU WERE NEVER BORN, 'CAUSE I'LL MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU NEVER WERE, YE ATROCIOUS FUCKIN' BOIL ON THE FACE OF REALITY! I WILL- (cut to narrator and map-view).
  • The Ork Warboss is no slouch either. His threats against Ravandil come across as this trope on account of being veiled in incomprehensible Cockney slang.
    Ork: I'LL SWEAR TO ME FAKKIN MINCES THAT THE LOOP THE LOOP BE HALF-INCHING ME CITY SLICKERS AS MY COBBLERS SMEAR ALL OVER YOUR NORT AND SOUTH AND I'LL TOM TIT ON YOUR WHISTLE AND FLUTE YA FOREST FAKKA!
  • Urist makes a surprise return (being pulled across time and space through the Warp) in one of the Vox-logs for If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, this time unleashing one of his tirades upon a bunch of Dark Eldar/Drukhari. The latter are no strangers to unusual and bizarre manners of torture and even they are weirded out.
    Urist: LISTEN HERE YA SPIKE-COCKED, TAR-EYED, PLANK-SHAPED, SEWER-ASSED RODENT ANALOGUES! I'M GONNA SHEAR THAT THIN FILM OF SLIME YOU CALL SKIN FROM YER SPINDLY HUSK AND MAKE A FUCKING RAINCOAT OUT OF IT! I'M GONNA SLAM MY FIST DOWN YER THROATS, RIP YER INKY INNARDS OUT AND STITCH A LEATHERY SACK OUT OF 'EM! I'M GONNA SAW YOUR WEE LEGS OFF AND TURN YOUR HOLLOW LEGBONES INTO FUCKING FLUTES! I'M GONNA CRAFT A MAKESHIFT PIPE BAG OUT OF THE RANCID MATERIALS I HAVE HARVESTED FROM YER TWITCHING BODIES, AND THEN I'M GONNA COME AROUND AND PLAY A NICE TUNE AT YER FUNERAL CEREMONIES! BEFORE I PISS ON YER FUCKING GRANDMA!!!!

• This video is about 80-90% this trope, containing many examples listed in the film folder (and many that aren't), including the trope namer.
• Cammy's threat of "I'll cut you twice" has become quite infamous in A Couple Of Cunts In The Countryside.
• A season 2 promo for Epic Rap Battles of History has Theodore Roosevelt threaten the ERB crew into finishing season 2, lest he chisel himself out of Mount Rushmore and crush them to death with his moustache.
• The Weather: When his caller fails to come deliver chips and cups to his party within twenty minutes, Robby calls him "scum of the Earth" and threatens to pull their fingers and toes off with his teeth.
• The Cry of Mann: Berry threatens Courtney with a very violent death.
  "I WILL BURN YOU ALIVE! I WILL PICK OUT YOUR BRAIN AND EAT IT! I WILL TIE YOUR HEAD TO THE BACK OF A TRAIN, I'M GONNA ROLL THROUGH TOWN, DRAGGING YOUR SKULL, AND THEN I'LL CRACK IT OPEN IN THE CENTER OF TOWN ON TROOL DAY!"
• Criticized: Arthur gouges out Darian's left eye with a paperclip.

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