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Gorgeous Freeman
- Voiced by: Jon St. John (samples)
- Black Comedy Rape: Falls victim to one courtesy of his own HEV suit of all things.
- Chick Magnet: Episode 3's Part 1 reveals every single female Black Mesa employee gushed over Gorgeous.
- Even the Guys Want Him: Literally every single character Gorgeous comes across finds him irresistably sexy, especially the men.
- Jerkass: During the flashback to his Black Mesa days, he leaves behind a scientist trying to get on the tram, then stops half way down the track to clap sarcastically at Barney.
- Mr. Fanservice: Should come as no surprise with how often he runs around in his underwear.
- The Quiet One: Gorgeous isn't a Heroic Mime anymore, but he still rarely talks.
- Shell-Shocked Veteran: Gorgeous actually has genuine PTSD linked to the Black Mesa Incident, as shown in Episode 3 Part 1.
- Suddenly Voiced: Gorgeous, as opposed to Gordon, does have dialogue (courtesy of Duke Nukem), although he's still The Quiet One.
Dr. Kleiner
- Voiced by: Mike Hillard
- Black Comedy Rape: Presumably what he inflicts upon Barney.
- Dirty Old Man / Depraved Bisexual: He's horrifically pervy to literally everyone he encounters.
- The Grunting Orgasm: Has a hilariously exaggerated orgasm alongside Barney as they watch Gorgeous seductively clean his crowbar.
Barney
- Butt-Monkey: Downplayed compared to Dr. Mossman, but Gorgeous is still rude to him, and Kleiner orders him to suck his dick.
- The Grunting Orgasm: Has a hilariously exaggerated orgasm alongside Kleiner as they watch Gorgeous seductively clean his crowbar.
Alyx
- Voiced by: Merle Dandridge (samples)
- Adaptational Jerkass: She is far from the friendly, goldenhearted heroic young lady in here, as she slaps Mossman/Ms. Person and yells at her to shut it just for being near her.
- Berserk Button: Mossman's very existence seems to be one for her.
- The Unsmile: Gives one to Gorgeous during his first brief visit to Black Mesa East during the teleporter accident. The corners of her mouth are stretched all the way to her ears.
Dr. Breen
- Blah, Blah, Blah: Does this when he thinks he has Gorgeous cornered in the first episode.
- Establishing Character Moment: First seen masturbating and when Gorgeous appeared before him, demands "dat ass, immediately."
- Naked People Are Funny: His first appearance, which thankfully is given a Scenery Censor... after we see its shadow and Gorgeous' reaction.
- Narcissist: In episode 3: part 1, he's giving a demonstration on why he has the best butt of all time, which explains why he wants Gorgeous' glorious ass.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: When he was the administrator of Black Mesa he once held an entire seminar about how his butt was the best of all time. The employees who were in attendance were either asleep or bashing their heads against the meeting table by the end of it.
- Sissy Villain: His voice is in a higher register than everyone else in the cast, and when he tells his soldiers to get Freeman's ass it sounds more like he's whining than giving an order.
