Note: Given the size of the cast, it's probably a good idea to only include the major characters here.
The Narrator
- Interactive Narrator: Sometimes shows up to deliver exposition, explain morals, interrupt the exciting bits, and occasionally sing.
- Unreliable Narrator: Not precisely deceptive, but his pro-Liu Bei bias makes him less than even-handed.
Liu Bei
The "hero" of the work, though Farce characterizes him more as the Designated Hero.- Anti-Hero: Is not a very nice person in Farce.
- Dirty Coward: Not a good look for the hero of the story, but he is this.
- I'm a Humanitarian: To be fair, he didn't realize that Liu An had butchered his wife to get him something to eat. What's really disturbing is his reaction once he realizes, where he shrugs it off as no big deal and is touched at the sacrifice.
- It's All About Me: Lampshaded when he's bragging to his allies about how Liu An killed his wife and fed her to him when he had no other food.Cao Cao: This book really does revolve around you, doesn’t it?
- Stalking is Love: Liu Bei gains Zhuge Liang's undying loyalty by being extremely creepy.
Cao Cao
The "villain" of the work. And boy does he know it.- Affably Evil
- Anti-Hero / Anti-Villain: Depending on where you're standing.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Although Big Xun and Little Xun usually keep him on track.
- Badass Boast: "Underlings like you can’t understand the grand designs of people like me!" in Chapter 4. It works.
- Butt-Monkey: In the chapter titles alone, he gets multiple bad haircuts, is beaned by an old lady, and is chased by a zombie army. And that's aside from the whole being-the-villain issue.
- Chivalrous Pervert: Cao Cao will always strip defeated enemies... then offer them a nice job.
- Hat Damage: Threatens to execute Chen Gong for this, but later brushes it off when he's had time to cool down.
- Pet the Dog: Makes this his official policy, hoping to become a Villain with Good Publicity. He has some success, but no one really changes their mind about him being the villain.
- Then Let Me Be Evil: Cao Cao has shades of this, since he's the Designated Villain, regardless of what he does.
- Traumatic Haircut: Has a couple.
Dong Zhuo
An early villainous character.- Arc Villain: Is the major antagonist of the early portions of the book, up to about chapter 9.
- Card-Carrying Villain: And revels in it.
- Fat Bastard: Overweight and a horrible human being.
Sun Quan
- Adaptational Sexuality: Is Lu Su's boyfriend in this version of the story.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Especially towards the end, he seems to be not quite all there.
- Good Is Dumb: He may be the nicest of the rulers of the three kingdoms, but he's not terribly bright.
- Mama's Boy: Very much his Aunt Stepmom's Boy.
- Spare to the Throne: But he does a decent job, mostly thanks to his advisors.
Sun Qian
Liu Bei's teleporting mailman. Not to be confused with Sun Quan.- Flashy Teleportation: From Chapter 51, which has a pop:Zhou Yu. “Go tell him, will you?”
Sun Qian disappeared with a pop - Stealthy Teleportation: From Chapter 28:Sun Qian nodded and vanished, reappearing the next moment in front of Zhang Fei.
“Gah!” squawked Zhang Fei.