JodyOne of the book's central characters. She gets turned into a vampire at the start of the novel.
Thomas FloodJody's love interest. A wannabe writer from Indiana who is living in San Francisco to get inspiration. He works the graveyard shift at a Safeway along with the rest of the night crew known as The Animals.
Abby NormalAn upbeat teenage goth girl introduced in You Suck. She does Jody and Tommy's legwork in the daytime when they can't get out and do things themselves.
Elijah Ben-SapirThe original vampire who turned Jody. His vampirism was a side-effect of an alchemical attempt to obtain immortality. Also discovered teflon about 600 years before its modern widespread use.
The EmperorA homeless man living in San Francisco based on real-life counterpart Emperor Norton. An all-around nice guy who loves the people of his city and takes his job seriously.
The AnimalsOriginally Thomas' coworkers, turned vampire minions or vampire hunters depending on circumstances.