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HamburgerTime2018-04-11 10:15:17

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Chapter 12: Empty as Paradise

Sedna: Soooooo youuuuuuu're going tooooo the Faaaaaaaairy Foooooorest, eeeeehhhhh? Aaaaaaalwwayyyyys wanted to seeeeee that plaaaaaaaaace..

LADY SEDNA

Character notes: One of the most important gods of Inuit lore, she is the goddess of the sea and manages human access to its animals, meaning humans must pay homage to her to hunt for food. She's absolutely terrifying to those who take more than their share. Gets Ice and healing skills,

Personality notes: Voice like a whale bellow.

Nanashi: Welcome aboard. How about a bit more fusion now and... gah! Another accident!

Hariti: Oh my poor little boy, you look so thin and scared! Are you sure you're alright? I'm sorry I appeared in place of the demon you wanted but I must watch over you, child!

Preta: Hoo boy...

LADY HARITI

Character notes: The Buddhist goddess of motherhood. While she was always loving toward her own children, she was initially a monster who kidnapped human children to eat. The Buddha converted her and switched her to a diet of pomegranates, and swore to protect all children from now one. Healing specialist, and yes, I got her in an accident too.

Personality notes: Homicidally protective maternal figure.

Nanashi: Yoyogi ho!

Arriving at Yoyohi, one might notice even from the over world map that the Fairy Forest looks... different now. Its bright pink trees are now gray...

Fomorian: I have a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-D feeling about this...

Nanashi: Is that... fire?

Follow the bridges to the entrance to find the forest gone to wrack and ruin. The trees have been cut and burned, the healthy pink glow is completely gone, and new, stronger demons are running around...

Pixie: Oh no... home...

Hua Po: Cheeeeeeeep! CHEEEEEEEEEP!

Moh Shuvuu: I'm not crying, YOU'RE CRYING!

Bilwis: Aww man, I wanted to chop the- I mean, oh no, my house is burning...

Mothman: NOOOOOOOO! AM NEVER GETTINGS OF MACCA BACK NOW!

Tam Lin: All those who wrong faeries shall burn!

At the entrance, the part meets a dejected Nozomi, who explains that the Divine Powers have attacked the forest. Asahi asks her as to the whereabouts of the sword that they seek, Ame-no-Habakiri, to which Nozomi responds that it's known as "Excalibur" around here. She surmises that the Divine Powers may be after it too and volunteers to come with. The sword is located in a lake on the northern hill of the forest.

Incubus: Heh, this place is fulla trees. Y'know, as in WOOD, heh heh.

Baldur: Be silent, feel creature! There shalt be no bad sex jokes in the presence of BALDUR THE BRAVE, embodiment of the light!

GENMA BALDUR

Character notes: The glorious Norse god of light, and the favorite son of Odin. He was the recipient of a boon requested by his mother Frigg that made him invulnerable to anything other than mistletoe, which was deemed harmless. The evil god Loki, however, shot Baldur with an arrow made of mistletoe, killing him, earning him Odin's wrath. Baldur's death is the first sign of the coming of Ragnarok, the end of the world. He's most notable for Hamaon, the absurdly powerful heavy-tier Light spell. And in a literal Mythology Gag, he's weak to Gun.

Personality notes: The Ace.

Parvati: Ah, there you are. I hope you don't mind my coming along as well, child...

Nanashi: Wow, you're pretty spectacular.

Parvati: Thank you, young one. I am the Goddess Parvati. Lord Krishna is my brother-in-law; I wish to investigate why he is doing these things...

MEGAMI PARVATI

Character notes: The glamorous Hindu love goddess and one of the threefold aspects of the Divine Feminine. The wife of Shiva the Destroyer, and said to be the only being capable of controlling him, this is her benevolent aspect - when threatened, she can change into ferocious forms such as Durga and Kali. Her two sons are Ganesha and Kartikeya - we'll meet them eventually.

Personality notes: Refined and noble Proper Lady.

Head along the northern path to find the door that barred your way earlier has been demolished. Napaea meets Nozomi on the steps and informs her that most of the Faeries have managed to escape into hiding, with Napaea and a single Mokoi being the only ones left in the forest. Nozomi leaves the party almost as soon as she arrives to tend to them, but says that the pathway to the sword is guarded by a maze that is almost impossible to figure out. You need a scroll found in a chest at the entrance to get through. With that, she departs.

Spriggan: DERH, DAT WUZ QUICK!

Enter the maze. This is of similar structure to the ghastly Eridanus teleport maze in SJ, but thankfully far easier. Open the chest nearby for the instructions - "Thrice toward the light, once toward the shadow, once toward the light."

Nanashi: Shadow, huh? MY shadow, maybe? The light's coming from over there, so go toward it three times, then away, then toward it again?

Apis: I must say this young chap truly is clever!

Yeah, it's a pretty simple puzzle.

Nanashi: Hey Baldur, you've got some kind of fox thing wrapped around you.

Baldur(?): MUST EAT MORE MISO.

FOOD KUDA

Character notes: A Japanese familiar spirit in the form of a fox. Like Inugami, Kudas were used by magicians as familiars to possess enemies, and once possessed you yould become obsessed with eating raw miso soup. Mythology is weird. Gets buffs, Phys, and Ice skills.

Personality notes: Doesn't speak but possesses the other demons to do weird things.

Dis: Well now, been a while since I've seen someone like you, boy...

Nanashi: Some... one like me?

Dis: Trust me, I help oversee fate. You're special.

YOMA DIS

Character notes: Disir are minor goddesses governing fate in Norse lore; they work as attendants to the major gods. They're perhaps best known for their warlike subset: the Valkyries. She's actually very dangerous as she has Lullaby, the hits-all Sleep move, and as an enemy can easily leave you with a dead weight party.

Personality notes: Somewhat snarky but good-mannered young lady very interested in Nanashi's destiny.

Power: Behold! Thanks to your training, young one, I have received another promotion!

Gu Huo Niao: Oh. The angel dude changed again.

Power: You are now in the presence of DIVINE POWER!

Vouivre: Wait, the angel's a spy for the Divine Powers?

Kaso: I KNEW IT! You want my fur, don't you?

Power: Errm, no... I'm Divine Power...

DIVINE POWER

Character notes: Confusing name, no? Regardless, Powers are the sixth Angelic Choir, said to serve as military commanders and Praetorian Guards. Phys specialist.

Personality notes: Still the same lovable blowhard angel.

At one point we need to use a Power Spot to demolish a Wraithwall, but as I said the end's pretty easy to find. At the northern hill, the party takes notice of a new kind of Wormwood barrier, seemingly unbreakable. There's a Wraithwall here too, but we want the open path...

Enter to see Divine Powers demons attempting to lift the sword from the lake, under the command of a very, very large demon indeed. The giant introduces himself as Titan of the Divine Powers, and confirms he burned down the forest simply because it was in his way. Dick. Obviously we're not getting out of here without a fight!

BOSS: JIRAE TITAN

Level 33. Resist Phys

Hoo boy. Our second major stumbling block, ladies and germs. He's got no weaknesses, a ton of HP, and an absurdly overpowered movie called Critical Eye, which guarantees his next attack will not only be 100% accurate, but also a Critical Hit! This is effectively two free criticals, actually; a crit guarantees a Smirk, which guarantees another crit.

Nanashi: My organs feel... not where they should be... he's too strong...

Like with Sukuna-Hikona, though? There's a trick. He's weak to several ailments, including Poison and Bind, so you can easily shut down his movement and make him damage himself. In fact if he gets extra Press Turns from critical hits, that will make the poison hurt him MORE! There's also Boss Banter here - the correct response is actually the one that does nothing, as both other responses will result in HIM getting a powerup.

Even with the ailment weakness? Don't underestimate him. I kept him poisoned and paralyzed for the majority of the fight, and he still took out everyone but Nanashi and Baphomet.

Baphomet: Gah... Have I become deficient since the Cataclysm?

Ame-no-Habakiri is ours! We can equip it in the weapon slot for a powerful melee attack, and it also works to break the stronger types of Wormwood mentioned earlier. Any way, head back to the forest entrance.

Baldur: What is that repulsive smell?

Kanbari: Gah, sorry, can't do much about it though. Nice ta meet you all; Kanbari Nyudo, at your service.

ENIGMA KANBARI

Character notes: The almighty Japanese protector of the toilet, KANBARI NYUDO! Old Japanese toilets were dangerous, believe it or not, so accordingly a god of toilet safety came to be. If you recite a prayer to him on New Year's Eve, you won't be attacked by monsters while on the toilet for the next year. He has Phys, Light, and silent skills.

Personality notes: Genuinely nice guy who smells REALLY bad.

Kikimora: Well I do understand the importance of bathroom etiquette, surely that's counterproductive if you don't practice personal cleanliness, no?

NIGHT KIKIMORA

Character notes: A minor Slavic goddess of the household, her husband and Spear Counterpart is named Domovoi. She appears at night in households to help with the housework, but only if the lady of the house is industrious herself. For lazy mothers, she trashes the house poltergeist-style at night. Gets healing and Phys skills.

Personality notes: Cleanliness-obsessed busybody.

Zhen: Being clean is overrated, if you get my drift, heh heh...

RAPTOR ZHEN

Character notes: Zhen niao, yet another member of the bizarre supernatural fauna of the world's most populous country. They eat the heads of poisonous vipers and take the poison into themselves, so much so that merely being in their presence is fatal to plant life, and a single feather falling into someone's drink will kill that person. I bet you can't guess what skills he gets.

Personality notes: Extraordinarily shifty; may or may not be plotting to poison the entire party.

Makami: ''AWOOOOOOOOOO! So I finally get to meet the kid with all the Magnetite! Stay with me and I'll keep you safe...

Nanashi: I'm not sure I trust him...

AVATAR MAKAMI

Character notes: Yet another in the series of loooooooooooong spirit animals used by Japanese mystics as familiars. It's said to protect one's house from burglary and arson, but if you make it mad it'll eat ya... Yet another hellish specialist; at least I don't want for those right now, eh?

Personality notes: Makes bad "AWOOOOOOOO" jokes.

On the way out, the party runs into Nozomi again, who's managed to see the remaining faeries to safety. She rejoins the group. Danu then appears from her body and asks for a word with the party.

Fomorian: I can already tell this will be BAAAAAAAAA-D.

She reveals that she suspects the Divine Powers' ultimate goal is to remake the entire universe in their image - and this will, unfortunately, result in the annihilation of everyone and everything in the current one. Dagda then joins in and says he doesn't intend to let the Powres succeed - he freed them so that they could begin to build their new universe, then, when the time comes, he will seize it from them! Dagda feels the current universe is beyond redemption, with its endless squabbles between gods and demons of different factions. The only choice, he feels, is to start anew - and as his Godslayer, Nanashi is the tool he'll use to accomplish this, which is what he brought him back from the dead for.

Nanashi: I think I'm gonna be sick... I exist to destroy the universe? I'M STILL TECHNICALLY DEAD?

Danu is incensed - surely the world as it is now is not yet beyond saving! Dagda just encourages Nanashi to follow him, before both demons re-enter their hosts...

Asahi is, quite understandably, very dismayed to learn her BFF is a walking corpse, but Nozomi reassures her that he's still the same person. There's another "polite or rude" decision with Nozomi here, but either way, she now joins for good.

Nanashi: Gah... every time things seem to be getting better something else just comes along and it all crashes and burns... Should I really keep fighting?

Melchom: Don't make me use the paper again.

Finally, just before leaving to the over world map again, Stephen and the little girl appear again. Stephen tells them that while they are opposed to one another, Danu's wish to preserve and Dagda's wish to destroy and recreate are both "the middle path," and should Nanashi walk that path, Stephen will provide him assistance. Then the old scientist vanishes like the mist once again...

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