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Chapter 1: Haven't Got a Friend in the World
(in Mykan's lair, the man looks at a monitor. Offscreen, he has succeeded in rounding up his allies for the major battle: Lightning Dawn and the Grand Ruler in Unicornicopia. He's off to work to create/recruit other allies, Mykan and Vlad Zodiac. And as for himself...) Mykan: Let's see which form of the All-Stars I can take. To make myself more powerful. (he opens up the files, going through each and every single male All-Star. He starts with the obvious, the three Guardians.) Sean...the Phantom Ranger...or the Sentinel Knight. (clicks to see each power level) All equal. By creating a copy of one of the three, I can warp even time and space itself! Computer: Let's not get too hasty, Master. While all three are powerful, by recreating their bodies, it would prove to be fatal to you. Mykan: How so? Computer: By entering one of the copies, it would become too unstable for you, and you'll die within minutes. (Mykan narrows his eyes) Mykan: Really? Well then... (he continues to search until...) That's it! He'll be perfect for the recreation! Computer: How so? Mykan: He's a Red Ranger actor, and guilt-tripping the All-Stars would just be too easy. Computer, summon Lightning Dawn. It's time to put the plan into action! But first...I'm not done breaking Rika yet. She will know the true fear, the true despair! (he hits a button) Now...let's do this!
(in the fluffy cloud heaven...) (the Sentinel Knight looks over at the monitor) Phantom Ranger: So Mykan's one of the rare few who crosses over several...worlds? Sean: Yes. Hell, I didn't think such a thing exists, that is, until Rika told me about him. In her own words, he's dangerous to know. And upon researching, I know why. Sentinel Knight: I don't think we'll need to worry... (Sean then notices Sentinel Knight's tone of voice, and he rushes to the monitor. There used to be a blue blip showing where Mykan was...and now it's gone) Sean: Holy... Phantom Ranger: Does it mean...he's dead? Sean: Honestly, I'm not completely omniscient. That said, I think he is... (he pauses) You think we can summon Catherine? She was a dimensional traveler, maybe she knows something! Phantom Ranger: That we can. (as the Phantom Ranger tries to find Catherine's location...)
(in a bedroom, at another section of the Fluffy Cloud Heaven, Rika is resting up from the adventures in the bad future) Rika: You know...I can only do so much in liveblogging bad things before I start to lose myself. Maybe if I liveblog something positive, we can finally stop having those bad things happen to others. (then she opens up her e-mail, and...) Oh, sweet! A fan letter! (she reads) "Hey, Rika, can't help but notice that I love your work! Sorry to hear about what happened in the bad future." (beat) How in the fuck did they know about that? (she goes on) "Please accept this fanfic as a token of your recovery." (she clicks the link, and then...) No. No. Oh, fuck no. We're doing this now? That isn't recovery! THIS IS MAKING ME SUFFER! (pauses) Just when I thought I was done, even for a while...they drag me back. Another one of Mykan's little schemes. Another one of his damn fanfics. And of course it's in YouTube format. (and this song plays as Rika, with renewed strength and passion, prepares to liveblog once more) Welcome, livebloggers and readers, to yet another shitfic reading. Er, watching, technically. We all know about the infamous Dakari-King Mykan. To recap, he's a dude who makes fanfics about either A) having his preferred pairings together in the worst possible ways or B) just shaming the shit out of said pairings. Or C) fucks over other canons to make some sort of fusion shit. (Rika pauses as she glances at the audience) This is one of his two magnum opus of shit. This is where people started to take notice that no, he isn't just an insane Davis/Kari shipper, but a fucking madman. A fucking madman who would be known to make happy characters into sadsacks. And it also ties into his...problems. First, a little backstory. Davis/Kari isn't the only ship he supports. In a video that bashed My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, of all fucking things, he supported several other pairings that just ended up...not good. This is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, ones. It's Beast Boy/Terra from Teen Titans. Put it this way. He was more willing to ship them than Davis/Kari. Which would raise questions as to why he's called the Dakari-King, but I'll let that slide for now. Then "Things Change" happened. And the end game of that ship reeled him into a deep depression that some thought was PTSD (uh, if it was PTSD, he would have avoided the ending). And so, he ended up writing fics and berating everyone but Beast Boy because of that ending. You remember when I mentioned, back in my Power Rangers: Revolution liveblog, that the reason why he wrote the fics were more fucked up than most? Yeah, this is one of the reason why! Oh, and he has Terra become a babymaker and loving our TORTURED HERO(TM). I'm damn sure he hasn't heard of Terra in the original comic books and what she did. This fic is yet another punishment fic, but taken way, way too far. You thought Davis becoming a cyborg-android-robot-whatever the fuck was dumb? Dear God, you haven't seen anything yet. And so. From the batshit insane mind that brought you so many liveblogs comes...the liveblog for The End of Ends. So let's get the party started with... Chapter 1: Haven't Got a Friend in the World. Sweet Merciful Crap, the Wangst Begins! So we begin with the opening "credits". "From the desk of Dakari-King Mykan"? Pfft. (That said, the opening music is creepy as fuck.) Oh, and it's "a tale of sadness, anger...and of vengeance most foul!" If I wanted to see something with vengeance, I would play Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, thank you very much. A long time ago, when Azarath was very young, Trigon actually created a power greater than he was. What was that power, you ask? Some book with dark magical spells and incantations—wait, what? I'm sorry, but aren't spells and incantations the same thing? And why didn't it kill him? In fact, just how would he be able to make the time for making those spells and prophecies? (By the way, yes, I expect the prophecies to be asspulls. Typical Mykan trademark.) Oh, and the book? The Dark Prognosticus—wait, what?! ...we're really doing this? Granted, it would tell in the ending credits, but this is partially taken from Super Paper Mario. As in, he actually fucking ripped that storyline off and tweaked it to his own sick needs. I've said it in Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers, I'll say it again. There's changing the source material slightly while still trying to remain faithful to the original, there's completely changing said material (for better or worse), and then there's...this. Also, I get an answer as to what happened with Trigon. He almost got banished by his own creation. (aside glance) So since he can't destroy it himself, he placed a spell on the book. You ready? That someone who has an empty heart, someone who doesn't know true happiness, would be able to read the book and get the powers. Yeah... (in a cheery voice) I'm sure it'll go over very damn well! (smiles big) The book's then sealed away, and no one in these stories knows how to put a lock on the fucking prison, for fate's about to change. And trust me on this one, this reveal would be so fucking plot hole-y, you would not believe it. So we get a title card. And I swear to God, even though Beast Boy's in shadow here, it does give one of the creepiest feelings ever. Sweet dreams. As the title card fades away, and we get our chapter title, we open with...you know, I have no idea what this music's supposed to be. All throughout this, I can recognize several parts. Then again, with the music being used throughout and recycled... Anyway, after defeating the White Monster, we see our "hero", Beast Boy, not celebrating. Why? Well, let the scene from "Things Change" show you why! Yes. The one where Terra tells the guy, "things change, Beast Boy. The girl who you want to be is just a memory." Oh, and like the music, that fucking scene also gets repeated, not just in this fanfic, but throughout most of Mykan's "Teen Titans''-related videos! And another song that will also get re-used. This time, it...almost sounds like Casper's leifmotif in the 1995 film Casper. I swear to God, it is just so uncanny. Beast Boy, ever since the incident, has lost all hope. No, really. Just because things didn't work out, he...what?! (Rika is flustered) I'm sorry, but yeah, a broken heart sucks. I realize that. But time would heal wounds...you just need to pick yourself up and start all over. The world would not end just because the love of your life also decided to start fresh! Oh, and he cries in his sleep, and apparentally throughout the daytime. Enjoy plenty more of the QUALITY animation. Even better, he just flies off without telling the other Titans. You know, the ones that take care of him! That's like...um...sorry, can't think of something that hasn't been overused. And even better better, even the Titans don't believe him. I just...I'm sorry, but they're a tight-knit family, even when they have their problems! Also, they think he's crazy and also isn't helping with his depression, which makes me ask the question: why don't they do the simple thing of bringing him to a psychiatrist? While the Titans try to have him forget about Terra, Beast Boy does not. He almost takes a page from Homura Akemi's book and just follows Terra to her school, watching her. Say what you will about Homura, at least she probably wouldn't go great lengths or just-as-batshit lengths to save Madoka. ...oh, wait. Also, keeping your distance still doesn't help. God, now I know why the Titans think he's batshit. Recycled Song #3 plays as Beast Boy, desperate, pokes through Raven's room for a spell. Until he sees the book—okay, how the hell did it even show up? I thought Trigon sealed the book! And it gets even better, with Beast Boy understanding the text. And...changing colors for whatever reason. So if you can't tell, congratulations! In Mykan's punishment fics, no one goes unscathed! Suddenly, Raven shows up, really pissed off. The Titans later join her, and they berate Beast Boy for looking at Raven's stuff. Even when he tries to explain, the group still lectures him. Admittedly, they should have had a sign up or something, but...Beast Boy, what the fuck? Oh, and we actually get actual dialogue. Robin telling Beast Boy to go somewhere else, if this is the way he's going to act. QUALITY ANIMATION in the making! Since it just reminds Beast Boy of how he was treated by the Doom Patrol, and he's losing connections (I'm sorry, what?), he heads off. We then see him sitting at a table, empty cups in his way. Lots of water. And he has baggy eyes, apparentally. As Beast Boy wonders what he did (uh, being a lovesick, Debbie Downer-level jackass?), enter Terra. And she tells him off on spying on her, and telling him that he would need to move on. But...oh, God. We get a bit of backstory now. Beast Boy, birth name Garfield Logan, is said to be the saddest and miserable of the Titans (pfft, fucking what?), because his problems wouldn't stop. As a kid, he had a serum since he was sick, but since it was untested, it made him mutate. Then his parents kick the bucket. Then the Doom Patrol took him in, but they kicked him out. And he had so many families kicking him out or dying, apparentally, it's too many to count. He's also a sad clown, as the real reason why he makes jokes is because he wants to mask his inner pain. Um...why not make yourself a ridiculous outfit with a just-as-insulting premise, as Speedball once did? I'm sure it would fit the DRAK AND TRUBLED PAST thing quite well. Even the Titans are on his shit list, where they act stuck-up (uh, no?), and everyone (literally) has had some excuse for why they don't like him. He considers Terra to be his real friend, but...yeah, the whole "breakup" thing happened. I think it's high time to make a drinking game.
- Take a shot every single time you see the "breakup" scene from "Things Change".
- Take two shots if you see scenes that isn't the "breakup" scene.
- Take a shot if you hear music that's not being recycled.
- Take a shot if you see something being redundant.
This is a good liveblog. I should point out, though, that the opening music is from Secret of Mana, and I find the music for the part about the Dark Prognosticus' origins to be the most fitting in the entire series.
The thing is, I did notice that he did make that credit, but he didn't specify what song he used in the game. But thanks for pointing it out. :)
I am SO glad I'm not the only one who laughed at Terra's face. Here's how I see it: BB: "My life is a wreck, my family is dead, and all my teams are shit, and the world hates me..." Terra: D: BB: "Uh...Terra? What the hell happened to your face?" Terra: D: BB: "Seriously, I'm trying to pour my heart out to you, and you're just sitting there with that big dumb look on your face!" Terra: D: BB: "You know what? Forget it." *leaves and kicks off the plot*
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