Rika: Welcome back!
Previously, we're introduced to the W Ranger, a fused Ranger. No, really.
Now we've come to this: the obligatory Sixth Ranger introduction episode. How interesting will it be? Let's find out.
Chapter 11: Ranger from the Future, Part One
We get an Author's Note, telling us that, yes, for the rest of the story, he'll just skip stuff. And he promises something "really tasty" at the end.
(Rika looks at the last few chapters)
...
(with the spell starting to wear off, making her more humanlike, she sighs)
The last few chapters are so gonna suck.
Oh, and get this. We're introduced to the "Future Ranger" (no, seriously, that's his name...I thought it was a joke), and his name isn't really "Vlad". Dear God...
Let's get this over with.
We open with Vlad getting done with talking to the police. As he finishes up, he heads to his lab, where he hears people badmouthing his brother. He just ignores it, and he's hard at work designing his morpher and Zord.
Aaaaaaaaaand we get a shitload of exposition of that. Goodie. The only important things to take from this Infodump are the following...
- This kid has the Colonel Zord, a battle tank that can be combined with other Zords. Oh, and it can change into Warrior Mode, but he forgot about the other ability. No, seriously.
- He also has the Strata-Cycle, which can...roam the streets. And be a regular motorcycle. If that thing even turns into a fucking Battlizer, someone's gonna sue.
- As for the morpher? It has a jewel, half-black, half-white. I am not in the mood to make a Pokemon Black/White joke.
Vlad tries to morph, but it fails, and he tries to figure out why it isn't working. And he also tries to figure out where the hell Mykan and Ebbie went to. He realizes that it's not a matter of somewhere, but somewhen.
Just how the fuck did he even come to that conclusion?!
Regardless, he asks the police if he can borrow the gun, and of course they allow him! Dear God...are the police that fucking useless?! So he examines the gun, and he looks at the serum...and a counter screen. No, really, the gun has a fucking counter screen.
Oh, and the serum? It acts like a shield. No, really. So Vlad has to figure out how to counter it.
- "Vlad knew hardly anything about the device already"
Bullshit.
- "(...)and barely even knew how he disassembled it(...)"
BULLSHIT! No, it's fucking bullshit! Don't say that he disassembled it, only to say, "oh, wait, he totally didn't know how to do it". That's just...gaaaaaah.
He figures out a plan. Are you ready for this? Within a few days, he programmed his morpher to have the bits of the time gun working for it. And it actually allows him to morph. Oh, and he has the Future Defender, a blaster-to-blade weapon. At least it isn't blaster-to-axe.
And so...Vlad summons the cycle. Get this, he actually trained via motorcycle games. No, really. Vlad—
- Vlad: "Cause I have the need, the need for speed."
...fucking really? You're making me, a Lightspeed Rescue fan, pissed off because of so much shit you're ripping off (and can't decide to rip off that or Time Force, you know, the more fucking suitable Rangers series to rip off!). And now, you decide to pull off even more damn cliches?!
Anyway...Vlad heads to 1776, by activating a time warp. I need a fucking drink.
(Rika drinks)
(meanwhile, as Xander and Mako search for clues in Fuji, Japan...)
(...a figure, shrounded in darkness, watches the happenings)
???: Excellent...they won't know what hit them.
(it looks at the All-Stars and Rika's characters from We Are Our Avatars their allies)
Look at all of them...so happy. As soon as they get done with the mission at hand, that's when I'll strike. I'll take away their happiness...and make them a deal they can't refuse.
(yep, it actually said that)
And what of the liveblogger?
(the figure looks at Story!Rika, still drinking)
Ah...the All-Stars fought for her before. While she's a decent fighter herself, if I take her...they will become so distraught.
It's a good thing I didn't take her. Because as soon as she's done liveblogging...she'll be doomed.
(the figure laughs)
Rika: In Pennsylvania, Mykan and his team fight against the fake redcoats and Red-Eye. He exposits about all the friends he has met. By the way? Even though I'm skipping it, pay attention to all those friends, we'll get to that when it's time.
And he also exposits on the upgrades he made to the morphers. Who gives a shit?
So the Rangers defeat Red-Eye and the mooks, and they chat with the other people. Turns out that there are a couple journalists who are taking notes, ready to publish them. The Rangers take note (no pun intended), and they chase off.
Considering that they've used the Re-animator machine to wipe away memories for the journalists...you know what, screw it, I think we can all agree that the whole "secrecy" thing is very fucked here!
Oh, and James and Sarah? Shoot at the horses to scare them. OUR HEROES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
Mykan shoots the forgetful part of the Re-animator, effectively wiping out their memories. The father isn't really happy...or he is one step away of being emo.
- Father: "Oh, why does everything always happen to me!"
"HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEEE~"
At Ebbie's now-flying fortress (hey, Ebbie, Lawrence III just called, even he thinks you're being too unoriginal!), he summons Sakura, who in turn summons the obligatory Psycho Rangers.
...they're fake redcoats masquerading as the Rangers. Really.
Oh, and Tom, too, has a plan. Specifically, he'll create a dome that will crush the Rangers. Yeah...um...all that does is reminding me of the infamous The Walls Are Closing In scene from Saw V.
Ewwwwwww.
And to prove that the villains are very much overthinking it, they summon a new monster of the arc: Lock. They head off, and...
...in England, people are surprised to see Vlad. And they confuse him to be a witch. He finds the redcoats trying to hold some people hostage, and he tells them to stop—oh, wait. He actually beats the shit out of them.
Vlad manages to rescue the family, and they're surprised by this. The redcoats try to strike, but he strikes back.
- Vlad: "Did I mention that I know Martial-Arts?"
Uh, no duh?
The Redcoats realize they're fucked, and they try to slow Vlad down. But then, he faces trouble—no, wait. He uses one of the two abilities of the Strata-Cycle: the power to hover. By having glider wings from the side, and the wheels turning flat. And so, this chapter ends with the redcoats unhappy, and Vlad trying to find his brother.
Tune in next time for...more boring stuff.
What will happen to the Revolutionary Rangers? Will Rika realize the trouble she'll be in? And just who is that mysterious shadow?
Find out next time on Rika Liveblogs vs. Power Rangers: Revolution!
Comments
◊.
