Rika: Welcome back!
Previously, we've seen the first monster fight, Ebenezer doesn't know about the Rangers' existence yet, and the less said about the stuff it ripped off, the better. And yes, it does feel rather cliche, why do you ask?
...
I warn you now. You thought the first four chapters were bad? Believe it or not, it gets even worse, to the point where I may have to amend one of my sayings in the last installment. You are not ready for this.
So let's go forth with...
(click!)
Before we begin the "Obligatory Megazord Introduction Chapter", or "OMIC" for short, Dakari-King Mykan has an Author's Note. Apparentally, he initially wrote Susanna Adams (not "Sussana" as he spelt) in the story, but he found out that she died almost 19 months after she was born.
...
(Rika does some more research on Susanna Adams)
Yeah. That is not 19 months. That's, like...less than 14 months, at that.
Regardless, he decides to cut her out, and he feels upset about the mistake. Dude, everyone makes mistakes. It isn't the end of the world...
(she then glances at the chapter)
Then again, considering what happens here, it's probably for the best.
Our chapter begins with Ebenezer realizing that, yes, there are Power Rangers. Okay, just how in the hell would he even know that? I mean, yeah, in Lightspeed Rescue, the demons did have a way to tell. But Ebenezer?
- Ebenezer: "He may have Ranger power now, but just imagine how much stronger we'd be if their powers were ours."
(Rika headdesks)
Despite the fact that, you know, they're locked with the user's DNA. How are you even going to break that, dingus?
Oh, and it gets better. The morphers also have a cloaking effect, making it hard for anyone else to detect. Seriously.
Sakura, Tom, and Malakar fight against one another, but Ebenezer tells them to be quiet. After they realize that the Rangers may be in America somewhere. Yeah...and so, they decide to spring a trap, by creating yet another Monster of the Chapter.
In Philadelphia, Mykan's hard at work, trying to make a re-animator of his own. But considering that he's lacking in electrical energy (obviously), it isn't working at all. James and Sarah check up on him, making sure he's okay.
By the way, the re-animator? Not only will it revive stuff, but it would also have the ability to erase their identities as Rangers out of people's minds. Hey, wait a second, wouldn't they need to just set up a rule to not reveal their identities to anyone?
Then again, considering that there are a few people who know, say, Mykan, even when he's morphed...
Gah. My brain hurts.
And speaking of contradictions, Mykan has something to say. As nice as Sarah and James were, he can't survive in the past. Why? Because...it's too primitive!
(cue dramatic music)
...
You're joking, right? In the last chapter, you even said, in fucking song, that you would like it there! Why the sudden change of heart?
Regardless, James and Sarah tell him that they can do just as much stuff as he can. They then ride their horses, buuuuuuut there's just one tiny little problem. Namely, before he can say anything, they ride away, and he decides to run over.
...spoiler alert: he doesn't know how to ride a horse, relying so much on technology. Well, I do have a question. Why can't he use that Mind Transfer Machine so he would know how to ride a damn horse?
Oh, and it gets even better. The transportation thing? Apparentally, by using it often, it would be a waste of power. So what do they do? Only use it for emergencies or long-distance travel. I am not kidding.
(in Tokushima, Japan...)
(Dan and Agri take a look around)
Dan: You know, it's truly amazing that we're able to see this place!
Agri: Agreed. Shame about the monster activity, though!
Dan: No kidding!
(Agri pauses)
Agri: I just hope Moune's okay. I mean...
Dan: Hm?
Agri: You know, I'm not even sure if this even affects my teammates! But I have to work hard to make sure they're all right!
Dan: ...yeah. Who knows if it'll affect us?
Agri: I hate to think that!
(then Dan and Agri notice something different about the latter's outfit)
Dan: ...green?
Agri: Eh?
Dan: Dude, your clothes...
Agri: ...
(then he notices)
!
Dan: Mind if I ask, did you guys have a Green Sentai Warrior?
(Agri nods a bit)
Agri: Y-yeah. Magis. But he sacrificed himself to save Hyde...
Dan: Damn.
(and then, Agri's starting to be a bit more composed than usual)
<What is going on?!>
(on that cliffhanger note...)
Rika: At the print shop, lunch is served, and Mykan later arrives. An hour and a half later. After getting dressed, he settles down to some food that isn't to his liking, but hey.
...though why the hell is it that, in every single sentence, at least one word's capitalized?
So Mykan tells them what's up (while having "automobiles", "approached", and "one billion" capitalized...there's doing stuff that emphasizes their importance, and there's this), and Ben overhears them. Then their morphers go off, realizing that there's something wrong in Concord, Massachusetts, where the then-future 2nd President, John Adams, and his family live.
...
You know, Dakari-King Mykan...I've noticed that there's quite a lot with the capitalization lately. First, "WAX" for "wax". Now, I've counted no less than ten fucking times (11 if you count Ebenezer's "SILENCE!") that you've done this. When you capitalize, it seems like you're shouting stuff. Here, in a fanfic, unless if they have to, you can't really do that.
(Rika rubs her head)
And I'm starting to get a headache from this. We're not done yet.
After they teleport to Concord, we see Ebenezer holding the Adams family hostage. As well as some guy named Thomas Boylston. John's son (and yes, the then-future 6th President), John Quincy (henceforth nicknamed "JQ" to avoid confusion), calls out for his dad, but he tells Ebenezer that he'll do anything.
And what is that "anything"? To hand the villain the Bill of Rights. Abigail calls out for her husband to not hand it over, but Ebbie here (yes, I'm giving the villain this nickname, too, because I'm lazy as hell) slaps her across the face. Dude, the fuck?
Eventually...John does hand the Bill of Rights to Ebbie. And then, with all the information...he decides to let the family go. As for John? He's shot dead.
(Rika is appalled, and in the most serious voice she can muster)
I am serious. When his "usefulness" is over, John Adams is shot dead. Dakari-King Mykan?
What were you even thinking?
With a (then-future) President dead like that, surely you can think of all the consequences. For the most extreme, not only would the USA be still under British control, but Mykan (the character) wouldn't even exist. And coupled with virtually one of the dumbest Deus ex Machinas this side of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers that will happen on later in the chapter, it really obliterates the Aesop. You know, the exact Aesop you had Ben say. In the last installment, no less.
- Ben: "Even the slightest change in history could either alter or destroy the future in ways unimaginable."
By the way, one of my biggest pet peeves is the Broken Aesop, where you just set up a lesson, only to have actions or words destroy it. Even for a bit.
And don't think, even for a minute, that I'm not upset with John Adams' death. I actually am a bit mad. Not just because it came from out of nowhere, but because of the stupid resolution.
Which I'll get to when it's time.
JQ tries to take revenge, but it fails. And when Ebbie walks out, he just had to say this.
- Ebbie: "Once I publish this, Today, Concord, Tomorrow… THE WORLD!"
...
Really? Just really? You're just piling onto the list of cliches there, buddy! Are you going through a checklist on that?
But then someone shoots the documents out of his hands. Take a wild guess who.
Yep, it's the Revolutionary Rangers!
(Rika sighs)
I swear to God, if there's a perfect facepalm pic featuring a Ranger...(already knows the one for Lord Zedd)...I'd totally use it that much. Because that's exactly how I'm feeling right about now.
So after Ebbie idiotically reveals that (sighs again) John Adams is totally dead, Sarah flips her shit. Then the villain flees, leaving Sakura to fight against the "heroes". The mooks are destroyed, and Sakura does her back-up plan: spill some virus formulas all over, creating our Monster of the Chapter: Widower.
...
Excuse me. Considering how inappropriate this is, I think my wall needs a new coat of red. (bashes her head against a wall several times)
(...later...)
Okay. Now I'm better.
So Henri decides that it's best to just beat the shit out of Widower, but Mykan refuses. They decide to just weaken it first. Wait, what? That does not make any sense at all!
But...when they try to weaken Widower, he just beats the shit out of them. He then shoots a thick web out the mouth, causing the Rangers to get stuck. Well, at least, it could have been worse. They worry over what's going to happen as Widower comes straight at them, ready to eat them.
Then James has an idea. He manages to take Mykan's gun, and he tells the group to take theirs, which they do. (Though how did Mykan get his again? Did he have a spare?) Regardless...
- Widower: "One for breakfast, One for lunch, One for din-din, One for dessert, and One for a midnight snack."
...just what the fuck is a "din-din"?
As the group use their guns to heat the webs, making it crispy, they break free and slash at Widower. You know, this now sounds kinda familiar, only without a Red Ranger to A) not get captured and B) use the Battlizer to defeat another spider-themed monster.
After Widower's, well, armless, the Rangers blast the foe, defeating it. The Adams are pretty happy, except for the fact that, you know, John has kicked the bucket in the dumbest way possible.
But that's not the end of our story. For we have a Megazord to introduce.
In the island, Ebbie realizes that the Rangers have defeated Widower. He asks Malakar if the Re-animator is ready, and he confirms that it is. So the Big Bad uses it to make Widower grow. And regain his eight legs, of course. This shocks the Rangers and the Adams family, and the monster continues its rampage.
As Abigail and her family are backed into a corner, Moses tells Mykan that they have their mecha. By the way? To summon their Zords, what do they do? After standing in a line, they twist the jewels, call out "Soldier Zords, front and center!", and the Zords are released from their tiny ball "prison".
...Zords in tiny balls. I could be wrong, but it sounds so familiar. If I'm right, isn't it sad that I can pinpoint just how much Dakari-King Mykan's ripping off of other Rangers shows?
The Rangers arrive to their respective cockpits, which allows them to control their Zords...though special gloves, boots, and mind sensors. Why not just fuse yourselves with the damn things, or better yet, transform into them?
So as they cry out their designated Zords, the battle continues. The group tries to charge at Widower, but he continues to beat them. That is, until Henri finds a special power. Specifically, invisibility.
- "Henri's Zord was called Spy-Soldier because it had the power to camouflage itself into anything around it and completely disappear!"
...I got nothing.
Henri manages to beat Widower, whereas Mykan hacks off three of Widower's arms. James and Moses? Hack off three more with their cannons and guns. Yeah...
Then Widower spins around fast, using his two remaining arms to knock down the Zords. So with a dire situation like this, what do they do? Well, combine to form the General Megazord, of course!
...
General. Megazord. I just now realize how lame that name is.
With the signal, want to know how it's formed? Henri and Sarah's Zords form the arms, Moses' forms the torso, James' forms the legs...and, as per usual (mostly), Leader Forms the Head. Yeah, pretty...cliche.
Widower tries to shoot the web, but it doesn't work. By summoning the General Megazord Saber, it hacks away at the monster. Finally, after charging up the sword, it does one powerful slash at Widower...
(Rika reads the description)
...is it me, or did you just rip off of Lightspeed Rescue yet again? You know what, time to amend the Drinking Game list!
- Take a shot every time the fanfic rips off any Power Rangers series.
- Take two shots if it's Lightspeed Rescue.
- Take three shots if the fanfic does something later series would do, but much better.
Anyway, after that, Widower is defeated. The Rangers make it out okay, and the Adams recognize the Pink Ranger. They also demorph right in front of them. Yeah, and why did Mykan create the part for his Re-animator to erase people's memories of his Ranger team, again?
And it gets even better. After being told that, yes, John has died, enter Ben. He gives Mykan his own Re-animator (you know, the one I mentioned...damn, a few paragraphs ago?!), and it turns out that he, too, has worked on it.
(Rika gives a very "WTF?" look)
So...(sighs)...Mykan uses the Re-animator. What happens? It brings John Adams back to life. No, seriously.
...this brings me to the criticism towards his death, because, to be honest, it shouldn't have fucking happened in the first place. Even with the death and revival, who knows if the future's still getting screwed around? And you fucking revive him with a fucking bullshit Deus ex Machina, at that!
(Rika relaxes, and then...)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
(then cue a sign that says "We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties" as music plays
, then a few seconds later...)
(...cut back to Rika, who's rather cheerful, despite her room being ruined...again) Okay, I'm better now!
So after John's revived, the entire Adams family is reunited. Oh, and not only is John restored, but so is their house, and the Bill of Rights. You know, if John actually was inside when he died...I shudder to think what he looked like then.
The chapter ends with Ben saying that Mykan was the one who created the device, and the Rangers having the Adams promise one thing as repayment. Specifically...
- Mykan: "I want you, and your family to keep everything that you just saw here today to yourselves, and not let this get out to anyone. The future of the world and History may very well depend on this secrecy."
Pfft. Yeah, right. Considering what's going to happen in the end, that promise is gonna sound pretty damn hollow. "Keeping this all a secret", my ass.
The Adams swear to that promise, and the day is saved once again. I bet this is one lesson the teachers didn't tell you in class, and for good reason.
Because that chapter sucked. I was crazy to believe that it would be okay, if a bit bland with its dumbness, similar to Gyro: Dark Chronicles. But I was so proven wrong.
Oh, and the next chapter? Not only a play-focused episode, but we have yet another character: Sybil. So, in other words...new character introduction that could also be filler.
(Rika takes a long drink)
Is the chapter really going to be filler? Will Dan manage to revert Agri back to normal? And will Rika snap again?
Find out next time on the next Rika Liveblogs vs. Power Rangers: Revolution!
