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Live Blogs A Loving Fan's Final Request: Critic, Let's End It Together!
Psyga3152012-12-25 21:37:14

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Presses A Button, Expecting An Explosion

Hello everyone, Psyga here. Today, we say farewell to one of the internet’s better contributions: The Nostalgia Critic. When The Angry Video Game Nerd put out his videos once a month, then took an unannounced hiatus to make The Movie, Doug Walker was there to keep the critic spirit alive. He wasn’t alone on the matter. He brought in several amazing talents, some who were already established, while some were just starting out. It’s no doubt that a lot of these liveblogs I do have been influenced by Doug Walker’s work, and so, as a tribute to him, I shall liveblog a nostalgic movie. The film is a Mary Kate and Ashley vehicle that didn’t catch my eye until a few years ago. And so, I present to you: Double Double Toil And Trouble.

“But Psyga!” You cry, “Didn’t you do this already?” Well, I did. It’s not what you think. People who have seen my liveblogs would know that I’ve taken on a lot of the infamous Pooh’s Adventures, and the first one I did was Pooh’s Adventures of Double Double Toil And Trouble. I skipped out on a lot of the movie since I was paying more attention to Pooh’s interactions, or lack thereof, with the movie. Because of this, I missed a lot of the film, so it will be as if I am watching it brand new, unlike Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders, or Sleeping Beauty. So in tribute to the Critic, I will take on a movie he’d probably review. And so I dig this movie up from my own nostalgia/past and bring closure upon the first liveblog I did.

Part One Of Nine

We start off with some creepy guy telling us that this is based off a true story... Maybe. Really? In a story where magic exists, it’s probably not a good idea to have the creepy guy go “this is based off a true story!” Though, again, they said maybe... Fuck it, let’s continue.

After a credits sequence, we begin our story proper with a pumpkin carving contest judged by Oscar the Clown. I can’t believe that it took me so long to get that Oscar is a midget when we can clearly see him being a midget. Anyways, he blabs on how this is a mystical time of the year. Yeah, Halloween is usually the time of the year for most of these witch-orientated fests. Never Christmas or Easter. Nope. It’s always Halloween.

And so Oscar judges the pumpkins. Gee, I wonder who he will declare the winner. Yeah, he picks the Olsens. Yes, I am aware they’re called the Farmer Twins, but let’s be honest here, by the end of the movie, we’ll probably have long forgotten their names and just call them the Olsens. Even the kids know it’s no surprise they’d win, because as they get the wand, the kids unenthusiastically cheer. After foreshadowing that the wand really is magical, we meet up with the Olsens’ parents as they’re forced to crawl to Aunt Agatha for financial support.

Random Woman: It must be murder trying to tell [The Olsens] apart.

Oh trust me, it is. Thankfully, after that line, we finally get some sort of indication of who the twins are. Well, at least one of them: Kelly is the one in blue. And by process of elimination, the one in red is named Lynn. However, who is willing to bet that the tables will turn and I forget who is who again? Anyways, the parents leave their kids in the car because Agatha hates children. Yes, leave your kids in the car. Parent Of The Year... Hey, at least they don’t drive like crazy.

And then we are introduced to our villain, who no doubt would have purple unicorns screaming that she’s evil. And probably be right about it for once. Anyways, Kelly loses her wand and the twins go grab it, before meeting up with Mr. Gravedigger, or as I like to call him: SIMON THE DIIIIIIIIGGEEEEEEEEEEEER!

Seriously, I think I couldn’t have picked a better name. When I first picked it, I picked it because all I know about Simon was that he was a digger. That and I thought it was pronounced normally, like “Sigh-Mon”, but now in hindsight, I have begun to see how this name fits the gravedigger so. How? Well... Note how the Gravedigger starts off as a cowardly wimp. If my memory of Pooh’s Adventures serves correct, he grows a backbone, much like Simon did. Because of this, he keeps his nickname.

Simon explains how he is digging a grave. While you guys have the Fridge Horror of who Agatha would want to be put in the grave, I will just remember what good ol’ Joe Pesci said about digging holes: a lot of problems are buried in those holes. So Simon tells us how Halloween is a night where Nightmare Moon is said to haunt... Damn it, wrong show.

Okay. He talks about how the Witches spread curses while the Magical Girls... AAAAARG! Anyways, Simon says how the dead would Wise from their Gwaves. And we end the part with this shocking revelation:

Simon: In this country, they call girls...

NO! Hahaha... Not that. The other thing. Come on, I know it's dangling on the tip of your tongue.

Simon: Should I kill her-

WROOOOOOOOOONG!

Simon: A bad witch lived there 2,000 years ago, and a bad witch lives there now...

DAH DAH DAH DAAAAAAAAH! But we already know Agatha’s evil, so who cares. Tune in next time for more of this movie.

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