Walking outta Pallet Town with Scudworth in one arm and five Pokeballs in the other, I start thinking about what kind of Pokemon I would catch along my journey. Hopefully, my first Pokemon won't be some terrible piece of Vendor Trash that dies if you so much as breathe on it.
Scudworth: <Could you put me down now? It's difficult to install this brainwashing chi- I mean, find another Pokeymon for the team when being carried like this>
I stare at Scudworth for a moment before lowering him to the ground. He quickly chuckles to himself and runs into the tall grass. If I didn't know any better, I would say he is trying to figure out a way to brainwash me. But that's just silly, right?
I follow Scudworth into the long grass, itching to see who will be my first, non-starter Pokemon.
Rachel: EEE~ It's so adorable~!
Scudworth: <Eeysh.>
The Pidgey just chirped at me during my squee session. I guess I forgot to mention that I find Pidgey absolutely adorable~ I decide to test my luck and just threw one of the 5 Pokeballs Professor Oak gave to me.
-Wiggle- x3 *~Click~*
Now, I've heard rumors that the Pokedex is rather infamous for being... hilariously inaccurate. Considering the guy who made the Pokedex is Prof. Oak... I'm not surprised.
Pokedex: " A common sight in forests and woods. It flaps its wings and ground level to kick up blinding sand."
Rachel: Huh, Interesting.
Rachel: Hm... 
Rachel: Yeah! That works!
I then shuffle my team around, putting Penelope first and Scudworth last. Now I'm ready for any-
Scudworth: <Ehem. Don't you, train zeh Pokeymon now?>
Rachel: Oh, yeah.
So I start shuffling through the grass, looking for adequate grind fodder and a Lv3 Rattata pops out. Perfect. I send out my new
Rachel: Penelope use-
The Rattata takled Penelope. Getting a crit for massave damage.
Rachel: Tackle?
Rachel: FFFFFFFUUUUUU
I bite my lip. I forgot that this isn't Gen 5 and Tackle doesn't have 100% accuracy here. I simply shrug it off nd order Penelope to use tackle again.
Oh, wow. Seriously, Penelope. You sucked. I've seen many levels of suck in my time. But that, that was the most suck I have ever seen. How HIGH do you have to BE to SUCK like that man? I cannot have someone on my team who BLOWS that HARD.
I send out Scudworth to finish the rat off and end the battle. At this point, my tummy starts a rumblin', and I wonder what I am supposed eat. Seeing as they sell fuck all foodwise in the Pokemarts...
Scudworth: <Then she got an idea!>
Scudworth: <An awful idea!>
Scudworth: <RACHEL>
Scudworth: <GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!>
Rachel: Scudworth? We're having a roast~ right now.
Later, at Route 22
Scudworth and I were walking along. Enjoying a tender, roast Pidgey leg when I walked past the grass patch.
Rachel: Hey Scudworth! Maybe we'll find a useful team member here! -Walks in the grass- Like a Mankey, or a Spearow!
Rachel: ...Eh, beggars can't be choosers.
I lowered the Rattata's health and caught it the next turn. Score.
Pokedex: Bites anything when it attacks. Small and very quick, it is a common sight in many places.
If it bites anything when it attacks, why isn't the first move it learns bite? Gameplay and Story Segregation methinks.
Emile: -Pawing Scudworth- <WEEEEESTLLLLLY>
Scudworth: <I'm guessing you call everyone that.>
I reshuffle my team once more. Hoping that this time, I don't have another failure like Penelope. Penelope was worst Pokemon yo'.
One Grinding Session Later.
Emile: <Oh what a Loon am I! What a loon! What a loon!>
Satisfied with my training, I head back to Viridian City to heal up my Pokemon to full health, before heading back to Route 22. I noticed that there was another patch of grass on the other side of the path. So I stroll past the grass, onto the path and-
Cal: <HEEHEEHOOHOOHAAHAA>
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