Crossed SwordsI would just like to say that "Crossed Swords" is not a stupid chapter title at all. Also, Aural Intensity is not a stupid name for a show choir.
That being said, on to chapter four of Dalton.
Chapter 4: Crossed Swords
It's a beautiful morning in Windsor House when Kurt Hummel wakes up to... a ton of coffee cups. Hilarious! (WARNING: Do Not Try This at Home
. Not because it's dangerous, or anything
, it's just stupid and a waste of perfectly good coffee. ) Apparently Kurt's not-at-all-bitchy bitch out at Tabitha scared the Windsors into giving him coffee. So while the Windsors are scared of Tired!Kurt, I'm scared of them. How the hell did they get into Kurt's room? Kurt finds a post it from Blaine that says that this means that the Windsors like him. It's shit like this that makes me think that the Windsors are really middle school girls in disguise. Kurt goes in search of a better lock when instead he should be looking for somewhere else to live.
Then it's the weird opening thing again. Something Kurt says makes me hope for a second that this is a cool AU fic where the warblers have supernatural powers.
Kurt: I've also started to get used to the daily grind at Dalton. But somehow I still have this feeling that I've only scratched the surface, and that there was something more I should be aware of.
Alas, no such luck.
CP opens the next paragraph in a way that is very odd grammatically.
CP: Today was Friday
Sorry, I have to get something out of my system:YESTERDAY WAS THURSDAY, THURSDAY/TODAY WAS FRIDAY, FRIDAY/ WE WE PAST TENSE EXCITED/ PAST TENSE EXCITED/ YES WE HAD A BALL TODAY
-Ahem- so, that outburst aside, I think what CP Coulter ment was "It
was Friday". So it's Frieeday, and everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend. I can't control it. It has taken over me.
Everyone except for the warblers, because Harvey gave them all weekend rehearsal. Aaaand this makes me think that CP Coulter knows absolutely nothing about show choir, because my school's show choir placed 12th at state and the most extra rehearsal they have before a competition is an added weekend rehearsal. BUT then again they have weekly rehearsals a good while before then. So it seems that Harvey takes the same approach to directing a choir that I do to writing a paper: do nothing long term and then cram a few days before. So, because Harvey half-assed his coaching, Kurt doesn't get to go to Lima. Although since Mercedes said that there was some drama going on, he realizes he doesn't want to anyway. Also, CPC made sectionals on a Tuesday... what? Okay, she was probably trying to refer to the fact that Glee is on Tuesdays, but all of the music competitions I've ever been to/ heard about are always on either Friday or Saturday. More proof that she knows nothing about how show choir works.
Wes misses Tabitha and I would say I've lost all respect for him, but then I'd be a hypocrite
. Wes says he likes her because she's never boring. Blaine says that the warblers aren't boring. Wes says that it's boring to watch Kurt and Blaine flirt all the time. Blaine throws a book at Wes, even though he's telling the truth. Also, I thought Dalton had a strict zero-tolerance policy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that include throwing textbooks. *
Wes and David tell Blaine that he needs to make a move before Logan beats him to it. I would like to back them up on this, because while Kurt won't get together for a moment, CPC is chocking this so full of UST
I'm going to projectile vomit, and I DON'T think my mom would enjoy vomit on her macbook. Wes and David manage to find out that Blaine plans on doing something about the Kogan situation and we find out that CPC is horrible at subtly implying things about sex. Kurt overhears the very tail end of the conversation, so he thinks the dorm is being evacuated. Blaine invites Kurt to watch him fence. Of all of the sports you could have chosen, why fencing, CPC? What happened to all of that stuff from "The Substitute"
about Blaine breaking stereotypes? Blaine steps on David's foot to keep him quiet and David's being melodramatic. I get the feeling that I would be friends with Dalton!Wes and David in Real Life
, just because they remind me of my friends. Logan is flirting with Kurt from across a hallway
. That sounds like something I
would do. If he's doing that, he's really desperate. Kurt mentions how Blaine is breaking a stereotype by fencing. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Clearly, Kurt has no idea how gay*
The twins are talking to Reed. Apparently Kurt making friends outside of Windsor is cause for panic. Honestly, guys, grow up. Apparently they're really devoted Klaine shippers. So am I, but they do know that Logan stands no chance with Kurt whatsoever, right? It seems like they don't. They create a plan to get Kurt and Blaine together and keep Logan the hell away.
Reed visits Kurt's room. Reed describes his room as being incredibly plush and I can't help but think that Reed's only trait is his klutziness. Well, there's his fashion sense, too. Other than that, though, nothing. Reed gives Kurt a stole. It turns out Reed didn't just come to deliver Kurt's welcome gift, but also to help him plan what he's going to wear to see Blaine fence.
The Stuarts are also going to the fencing match. Wes and David get all POed about this for whatever reason. It's a public event. Chill. Derek, yet ANOTHER freakin' OC comes bearing an envelope for Kurt. Wes suspects that the envelope contains anthrax. Clearly, Wes thinks this is 2001. It turns out it's a present. Wes and David are still unhappy with Logan. Dwight has to keep a fight from breaking out, which is concerning because he's crazy
. Wes and David promise to give the envelope to Kurt and Derek leaves. They talk about how some guy named Charlie would not approve. I'm guessing they're not talking about the second oldest Weasley brother. Charlie Not-Weasley doesn't like the Stuart/Windsor rivalry. Having been to public school I can say that he needs to calm down because it is harmless and entertaining. Turns out Charlie Not-Weasley's last name is Amos, and he's the prefect. Okay. I'm still going to call him Charlie not-Weasley. Dwight finds out that Logan's got eyes for Kurt. Wes suggests that they open the envelope, but David says no.
Apparently Dalton has a fencing team, with a coach and everything. Santana would have a field day with this. Reed's outfit for Kurt... No Just No
. I recall that in Season 1 of Glee
, Kurt recommended a similar style of clothers for Rachel, only that
was to sabotage her. Well, Kurt certainly sounds like a sad clown hooker to me. I mean, I probably shouldn't be trusted to dress myself in the morning
, but even I
know that that
would be highly impractical for a daily situation. Remember what Blaine said in "Silly Love Songs" about how he's Oblivious to Love?
Well, he really is. Kurt is dressed like a total slut and Blaine is still clueless. -lefangirlsigh- It takes forever for Blaine to notice what Kurt is wearing. maybe Rachel's right. Maybe he is straight.
However, when he notices it, he really, really
, likes it. Never mind. Logan appears and asks Kurt to cheer for him. BOO! BOOO! ...Wait, why are we booing Logan? OH, right. He's interested in Kurt but he's not Blaine. YOU SUCK LOGAN! Logan asks if Kurt got his gift. David gives Logan attitude. It's a shame Dalton!Wes and David are fictional, because if they weren't, we'd be best friends. We find out that what was in the envelope was an original vinyl record of broadway music. Was it from a particular show or was it just a collection of songs. CPC doesn't tell us, probably because this is one of the many, many areas where she knows absolutely nothing.
It's Blaine vs. Logan in the fencing match. I thought there was some other school... St. Obviously Catholic or something. Eh, well, they're not fighting for Kurt's love, so I guess they're not important. The Merry Windsors cheer on Blaine and bash Logan. They notice that Blaine is fencing rather well this splendid evening. They correctly attribute it to Kurt, who is such a Possession Sue
that those who are near him can feel his Sue powers. Kurt wonders why everyone hates Logan so much. Really, Kurt? We just
went over this. It's because he's not Blaine, but he has feelings for a certain Possession Sue
. Reed says he'll tell Kurt later. Blaine and Logan are being catty in a passive agressive manner. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Sorry, it's habit. I wasn't kidding when I said I went to public school, you know. There's a lot of French
and fencing terms, both of which bore me. Apparently this is dramatic. By these standards, whether or not I'm wearing socks right now is dramatic. I'm not.
Blaine wins the match and the Windsors declare a party in the common room. Um... Yay?