Close shut the jaws of insanity... or don't. Let's Play TESIV: Oblivion!
Priorities not in order
Sleep: 6 hours
Okay, feelin' good. Let's check my big list of
people to murder
things to do. Well, the Emperor's son needs saving...
He can wait, he's a trooper.
I've got an arena grand champion to murder.
Some fast travel later...
Man, this guy's still
shooting at that target. He's not even hitting it. It's really no small wonder that I got as far as I did. Everyone sucks at hitting everything
. Man, whatever, let's talk to big, grey, and ugly.
So, what's happening gruesome? Just chillin'? Hitting the dummy? Telling people you're whaaaaaaaaaaaa?
Oh wow. That, um, that's pretty... yeah. So get this, he's apparently a prince. He wants me to find proof that he's a prince.
Huh, well maybe I'll get to kill some people, and he says he'll teach me some neat moves.
I think I'll do it. I think I'll do it RIGHT NOW.
Some fast travel and a crash later
Okay, it's just a short walk from Anvil to this Crowhaven place, probably nothing important on the Oh hey, Ayleid ruins. Oh hey, an inn.Oh hey, a wayshrine to someone. Oh hey, a dead highwayman. Oh hey, a camp.
Oh hey, it's Crowhaven.
This place is definitely worse for wear.
I guess being a deposed king would do that kind of thing. Oh well, I guess I'll just sneak my way through and hunt me down some evidence.
Y'know, now that I think about it, Agronak couldn't have been that
great to get to the rank of Grand Champion. He must've just killed a bunch of quadruple amputees to get there. Do I really want moves for WHOA WHOA WHOA
Hey... oh... whoops.
You all saw it. It was an accident. He accidentally
came into view and I accidentally
shot him three times from two different angles. No one can prove it was a murder. Get off my junk.
Well, time to loot the place. Can't be much he— AW SHIT
, IS THAT SOME SURILIE BROTHERS VINTAGE 399? IT IS.
Aw yeah, I am getting so drunk tonight it is not even funny. Now I just need to find a copy of The Lusty Argonian Maid
and I'll be set.
Now, what was I here for again?
Oh yeah, evidence. Well, let's take a look at the now-deceased (not my fault) Lord Lovidicus' diary. Oh...
Lord Lovidicus was a vampire. That would explain the vampire dust I
looted off his corpse
found near his body. Well, Agronak's not going to be happy.
And back to the Imperial City
Oh hey, Agronak, yeah, I got the evidence you wanted.
But about that... Well I'm glad you're enthusiastic about it
but... Yeah, I was getting to that.
You should've let me tell you, I would've made it
harder easier on you
Welp, see you in the arena, buddy!
Okay, hopefully this guy won't hit too
hard. I mean, he is
the Grand Champion, for what it's worth. Okay, gates are opening, compose yourself, Firedoom, you can— wait, why is he just standing there?
Oh well, free title and armor.
Well, that was anticlimactic. Maybe at least my new raiment will look better than AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW COME. OONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Okay, this day can't get worse. So far, I'm still wearing a monkey suit, I've had to fight vampires, and I had the least awesome fight in the history of forever. The only thing that could make this day worse is having some manchild with golden soft-serve for hair ask to
— YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
That's it. Taking my anger out on this jerk. This is the last FUCKING straw.
YEAH. STAND THERE. I'LL GET TO YOU IN A SECOND, YOU ASSHAT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THREW THIS AT ME, UNIVERSE. WHAT THE HELL?
Okay, I feel better now.
Okay, I need a rest. Hopefully there won't be a guy in some robes staring at me when I wake up.