History WMG / HaruhiSuzumiyaKyon

This started after I got thinking about how his little sister doesn't refer to him like little kids usually would in Japan. She calls him Kyon-kun, as opposed to "onii-chan". I actually started to wonder if, then, the nickname was given to him by someone in his family based on something other than his name.

* It's a mutation of the Japanese word for "Today": Kyou. It merits a mention, that on the Fridge Brilliance section, it's pointed out that Haruhi could be seen as representing Monday, as she chooses to stick with her "Monday" style for the rest of the series after Kyon pointed out her constantly changing hairstyles (that is, Yellow with zero tie off points). Monday uses the kanji for moon. "Day", as in "to''day''", uses the same kanji as Sun, as does Sunday. Sunday is a lazy day, a free day. Kyon himself wants nothing more than to just be lazy. The use of the kanji ties Kyon and Haruhi together as being the sun and the moon, and also works in favour of the "Haruhi has no powers without Kyon" theory somewhere above this WMG; the moon can't shine without the sun, after all.

* It's a mutation of the Japanese word for "Today": Kyou. It merits a mention, that on the Fridge Brilliance section, it's pointed out that Haruhi could be seen as representing Monday, as she chooses to stick with her "Monday" style for the rest of the series after Kyon pointed out her constantly changing hairstyles (that is, Yellow with zero tie off points). Monday uses the kanji for moon. "Day", as in "to''day''", uses the same kanji as Sun, as does Sunday. Sunday is a lazy day, a free day. Kyon himself wants nothing more than to just be lazy. The use of the kanji ties Kyon and Haruhi together as being the sun and the moon, and also works in favour of the "Haruhi can't use her powers without Kyon" theory; the moon can't shine without the sun.

* It's a mutation of the Japanese word for "Today": Kyou.

* Another guess I had is that "Kyon" actually comes from something Kyon said or did as a small child, and his family teased him about it enough that it just stuck as a nickname.

[[WM: The name "Kyon" doesn't come from his real name at all.]]

So because Haruhi remembers Kyon as somebody else, she refuses his real name and because of her powers, "Kyon" is used as a placeholder for his real name, by her and everyone else. Kyon is a strange nickname, because Haruhi decided, subconsciously, that he should have one and it is the kind of nickname that she would have chosen.

Disclaimer: this guess is based solely on the Anime, not the light novels. In the first episode (chronologically speaking) when Kyon is first introduced, everything looks boring and gray, right up until he finishes introducing himself to the class. After that Haruhi stands up and gives her weird introduction, prompting Kyon to look at her, at which point the entire thing becomes much more colourful. Also, in the first episode in broadcast order (AKA [[{{Unreliable Narrator}} Kyon ]] order), everything starts off bright, because Haruhi is already a part of his life by that point. His changing the order around (in the original broadcast, he and Haruhi gave the next episode preview together: she would always start to say what episode came next in chronological order and he would correct her, saying what episode would be shown next week in broadcast order) is arguably the first evidence we have that we can't trust everything that he says: if you watch it in chronological order, it becomes easier to see that he's always been in love with Haruhi since they first met, something which he adamantly denies.

it may or may not have been necessary for someone in the world Haruhi created to draw it but it was not necessary for Kyon to draw it. if someone else had done it they would have the role Kyon currently has and Kyon would just be Sasaki's friend with no connection to Haruhi.

Well, just look at [[TomokazuSugita who voi]][[CrispinFreeman ces him]].

[[WMG: Kyon is a druggie]]

Well, just look at [[TomokazuSugita who voi]][[CrispinFreeman ces him]].

** It seems possible that he exaggerates how he feels. There are lots of different kinds of attraction. Perhaps he's most physically attracted to Mikuru. How often does he talk about her as a person besides that she's cute? He has no confidence in her abilities or reliability. So maybe he's infatuated, but recognizes it as such and doesn't put much credence in the idea of a relationship beyond flirting.
*** Subpoint to avoid gigantic paragraphs, possibly Mikuru figures this out and was more attracted than he was, resulting in future Mikuru's 'affectionate' behavior and urge for him not to get too close to Mikuru.
*** This troper points out that Mikuru is also a much more normal crush to have than Haruhi. She fits in very nicely with the ideal Japanese woman. Haruhi, of course, is much more unusual.
*** This troper would also like to remind other tropers that, despite his erudite prose, '''[[UnreliableNarrator Kyon is 16]]'''. He's practically bound to exaggerate any sort of attraction to a "safe" girl like Mikuru to the logical extreme, while in Haruhi's case, he goes to the same extreme lengths to ''deny'' an attraction that obviously makes him uncomfortable. I mean, ''surely'' most of the people reading this have been through that age, judging by the TroperDemographics...
**** This troper remembers being a teenage boy, and thinks that Kyon likes both, but for different reasons. Mikuru for the 'really cute older girl with a rack you can lose change in' side of things, and Haruhi for the 'interesting girl my age with a nice ass' angle.
**** In addition to all the above, Kyon has been under peer pressure from Tanaguchi and Kunakida (sp) since first meeting Haruhi to not get too interested in her, in defiance of this he still made a more than 'just being friendly' effort to get to know her. On finally cracking Haruhi's icey persona he then goes about trying to prove to all concerned that he isn't interested which definitely points to a genuine crush rather than a safe but distant infatuation that he shows towards Mikuru.

* Haruhi is aware of this and has done everything possible to keep Kyon interested, including dressing Mikuru up in his favorite outfits and creating an entire world just to entice him. She is afraid that she would not be enough to keep him interested on her own.

** According

* Could explain Kyon's attachment to Mikuru: during Endless Eight, Mikuru makes comments to the effect of being surprised by "this time's" clothing/customs. Her status as a chronological immigrant prompts sympathy from Kyon, a geological immigrant.

* This explains his Korean nickname, and the difficult (to the Japanese) nature of his real name.

*** It's certainly worth mentioning that "Kyon" (견) is a legitimate Korean surname.

** Tell [[{{Almafeta}} this troper]] when you're done, I'd like to read it.

** According to another popular theory, it'd mean Fujiwara just treats Mikuru harshly because she's his sister, and she decided to opt for the "wrong" side, then... It seems to make sense. And would make even more sense that he want to stop time travels altogether because he probably screwed something. Or Mikuru.


[[WMG:Kyon really ''is'' John Smith.]]
That was his actual name he gave to Haruhi during ''Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody''. He only told her it was an alias to throw of the scent. As mentioned on the main paige, Kyon's last name probably starts with "S" or "Ta", and is is "hard to spell" and "regal sounding." John Smith is hard to spell in Japanese letters[[hottip:* :Would it be "Jan" or "Jon"? And "Sumisu", "Sumiisu", "Sumizu", "Sumiizu"...]], the last name beigins with S, and it probably sounds regal and exotic to a Japanese native (Or, well, at least exotic. Cliche to a westerner, unusual in Japan). This is why Kyon's real name is never menioned- it would trigger [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt you-know-what]] if Haruhi ever caught on.
* I was under the impression than Haruhi and most of the other characters know Kyon's real name, but don't use it. It's possible that other characters introduced later in the series have only heard him referred to as "Kyon," but Haruhi was there when he introduced himself in front of class at the very beginning of the series. He says that he doesn't like his nickname, so he probably wouldn't use it when introducing himself.
** It's possible Haruhi wasn't listening during class introductions, and was just waiting for her turn to speak. She already knows some of the people in that is in her class (Taniguchi).

[[WMG: The [[spoiler:"slider"]] in book nine was Kyonko.]]
Kyon noted that the voice was feminine and had a familiar manner of speaking to someone he already knew. He said it sounded like his sister, which would seem to indicate a younger version of Kyonko. Senpai also could hint that she is a younger version of him. She said "it's me!" to avoid a name, and as we know, Kyon has never introduced himself as Kyon. Also she hinted that he already knew her, so if they were the same person, he wouldn't recognize her while technically knowing her.

[[WMG:Kyon is a closet Series/DoctorWho fan]]
"John Smith". Enough said.
* Because of this, he likes Time Travel, which explains why he likes Mikuru so much. He wants to be her companion!
* Or better yet he is a recent regenaration of the Doctor, hence he is a timelord (someone had to say it!)

[[WMG:Kyon's Mole in Lone Island Syndrome is a plot point.]]

In Snow Mountian Syndrome, [[spoiler: Kyon was visited by what appeared to be Mikuru during the night, but the real Mikuru's star shaped mole was absent, thus revealing the fake. Now, Itsuki was visited by what appeared to be Kyon and... well... see where I'm going with this? What would be a perfect way, in the anime, to tell a fake Kyon from the real one? THE MOLE!!!!]] Yes, at long last, this may have been solved.
* Holy fuck this makes so much sense. More sense then Endless Eight at least.
* Also, makes sense in the fact that the chapters are basically mirrors of each other.
* Does this mean that they will actually show us [[spoiler:the fake Kyon in Itsuki's room, doing those "things that [the real Kyon] wouldn't do"]]? * {{squee}}!*

[[WMG: Kyon has the power of free will]]
Most people act how Haruhi wishes, outside of Kyon and Yuki. Kyon often hangs around Haruhi, and things seem to originate from him, even if they are not manipulated by him. Haruhi isolated herself, until Kyon motivated her to break out of her prescripted isolation. He is close to Yuki and Koizumi, so both of them are able to take initiative from their respective niches, organizations and Haruhi's own powers. Notice that often Haruhi tends to get information from Yuki when Kyon is not around, but when he is around, she only reacts to him, since Kyon grants her the will to disobey. Koizumi obeys Haruhi at face value, but his intentions are not to give her something extraordinary, but something ordinary. In Disappearance [[spoiler: Yuki defies Haruhi and her organization to be with Kyon, and then Kyon defies the new universe so that he can return to the old one.]]

Additionally, Koizumi said that nobody in his group had ever tried to kill Haruhi, obviously she would not like that, so none of them had the free will to do so. Asakura did absolutely nothing until Kyon triggered a reaction in Haruhi. This could be thre reason that [[spoiler: the Anti-SOS brigade is trying to get close to him, so that they can have the will to defy Haruhi and give the powers to Sasaki. This could have been the reason Sasaki lost these powers in the first place, since Kyon was around her, she had the will to give up her powers.]]
[[WMG:Kyon is really Nagaru Tanigawa]]
and Nagaru Tanigawa is a slider who narrates his experience with Haruhi in this universe.
* Think about the class introductions at the beginning of Melancholy. The boys and girls are each arranged alphabetically at that point. "Tanigawa" fits correctly into where Kyon is sitting (behind Taniguchi but before Suzumiya). Of course, so does "Smith" (Sumisu)...

[[WMG:Kyon isn't normal, he never was normal, and he knows it.]]
He is one of the following:

A silder: He comes from an alternate universe that speaks a different language, but he used a slider ability to translate everything he says and hears into english. The dimension is just like ours, but everyone can 'slide' and there is only one language.

A kinetic: He has the ability to manipulate some kind of kinetic ability(telekinesis, biokineisis etc) which he will have to use.

[[WMG: Kyon is in an asylum.]]
This is all the ramblings of an otherwise bright young man who thinks one of his classmates is God, that another is a time-traveler from the future, another is a cyborg, another is an esper, and that ''he'' might actually be God. His classmates, teachers and family first started noticing ominous signs when he started talking to himself. Then one day the poor guy just had a breakdown. "OKAY, I ADMIT IT!!! YOU'RE ''GOD'', SUZUMIYA-SAMA!!! GO AHEAD AND RECREATE REALITY IF YOU WANT!!! OR IS IT ''I'' WHO AM? Maybe we ''both'' are! [[WeCanRuleTogether We can rule together]]! BOW BEFORE ME, MORTALS!!! OR FACE OUR WRATH!!! FACE OUR WRAAAAAATH!!! WA-HA-HA-HAAAA!!!"
* Doctors cite the stress of high school life, his frustrated attraction to three girls (and [[HoYay one]] [[BiTheWay guy]]), and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking a lack of fiber in his diet]].
** No, no, remember it's a lack of CALCIUM that's the cause of all of Kyon's problems.

[[WMG: Kyon is suffering from hallucinations]]
Kyon, a perfectly normal boy, meets with Haruhi, a little strange but otherwise normal girl on their first day of school. All other characters are just other students or people Kyon runs into. Yuki is a quiet bookworm. Mikuru is the cute upperclassman. Koizumi is the mysterious exchange student and so on. However, Asakura (another normal classmate of his) becomes increasingly jealous of Kyon's relationship with Haruhi. So she lures him into an empty classroom after school to kill him. Fortunately, Yuki, Asakura's roommate, finds out just in time and manages to stop her. But Kyon is so emotionally scarred from the trauma that he retreats into his own world.


[[WMG: The entire SOS Brigade is in love with Kyon.]]
Haruhi loves Kyon, he was the only person she cared about and he is the only person who can change her mind. She's too stubborn to admit it. Mikuru shares Kyon's feelings and likes him back, but can't be with him because she's a time traveler. Yuki loves Kyon, but is only allowed to observe. To get together with him, she [[spoiler: Recreated the universe so they could be together.]] Itsuki is AmbiguouslyGay and has lots of HoYay with Kyon. Kyon loves Kyon very much.
* I don't think that much of a wild guess at all. It's almost blatantly obvious that everyone's into Kyon.

[[WMG: The reason Kyon's grades are so bad is because Haruhi wanted them to be]]
Kyon's wittiness was making her feel stupid, so she promptly rearranged the universe so that he needed her help on his schoolwork, just so that she could nurture her self-esteem and spend more time around him at once.
* He DOES refer to exam week by saying, "This is the time of year when the teachers mark my answers wrong" (rather than, "when I get the answers wrong.") Granted, he was making a joke, but still...

[[WMG: It's all an elaborate prank/experiment being played/run on Kyon.]]
He originally attended schools for {{Muggles}}, and then as of joining High School they added a half dozen to 2+ years of metaprodigies- or rather, "normals", since it's people ''without'' powers who are unusual. This is why he transferred from wherever he did: They didn't have enough normal people in the country's primary ethnic group to fill a high school, so they had to ship him to Japan, and it's lucky they didn't have to teach him English or Spanish and ship him to the west.

[[WMG: Kyon is quite intelligent but has ADD or something similar]]
Alright, not as earthshaking as the "Kyon is God" theories, but consider it. His narration is [[GeniusBonus peppered with allusions to science, mythology, mathematics, literature, history, and everything else under the sun]]. He says he read voraciously as a young child, even though his performance in school makes him out to be BookDumb. In the seventh book, he even spends a few paragraphs just talking about how impossible it is to pay attention in class. As soon as some sensei tries to make him sit down and pay attention, his brain disengages and goes somewhere else. He probably gets all his allusions from tv documentaries and [[WikiWalk Wiki Walks]] pursued at his leisure as his interest and focus allows. It explains why Kyon can sound so educated and get such horrible grades, anyway.

[[WMG:Kyon is deliberately ObliviousToLove]]
...because he can't conceive of being attracted to such a, well, sociopath. He is horrified that part of him is attracted anyway, despite all she's done, so he's heavily into denial and trying to persuade himself that nice, safe, sweet Mikuru is the girl for him.
* Haruhi density is that doesn't quite 'get' the give and take of romance. Her attraction manifests as,"NO-ONE plays with my pet and lives."


[[WMG: Kyon is the designated lover of Haruhi]]
Yuki and her group view Haruhi as a specimen that would be the key to evolution.
Mikuru and Co. look at Haruhi as an anomaly in the space time continium.
Itsuki and his espers (mostly) view her as some sort of God.
All these view points beg to ask the question "How does Kyon view Haruhi in the end?". Since she has some feeling for him that makes him something of a potential male lover (considering she is pretty much Bi).

[[WMG: The story will turn in a war between Kyon vs everyone else]]
The groups that are becoming more prominently in his life will eventually start to pressure Kyon to make a choice. They might even go so far as to threaten him violently. Under this pressure Kyon will snap, TakeAThirdOption, and fight all these syndicates. Kyon will prove to be an effective tactician like Light, to make up for his lack of book smartness. This war seems pretty do-able considering he has two reality warping deities that are under his influnce- Yuki and Haruhi.

[[WMG: [[spoiler:Beta-Kyon will turn "evil]]]]

[[spoiler: He will give in to the offer of Kyouko to save Nagato (or so he thinks). But Alpha-Kyon finally has met the person, who can travel trough parallel worlds, breaks into the beta-storyline and does that he can do best: KICKING HIS OWN ASS! ]]

[[WMG: Kyon isn't God, but makes other people God]]
Kyon gives other people the ability to have godlike powers as his way of expressing his desire for the extraordinary while remaining ordinary himself. From Kyon's point of view, the order of people Kyon meets who have God-Potential are Sasaki, Haruhi, then Yuki. Upon meeting Sasaki, Kyon gives her God powers, but through time-travel-ret-conning, Haruhi becomes God when Kyon visits her "3 Years Ago", and stops Sasaki from ever becoming God. Finally, Kyon is the one that enables Yuki to become God, as he begins to feel pity for her, and becomes closer to her. Haruhi then regains her powers due to Kyon's actions. This may also be way the Anti-SOS Brigade is so actively trying to persuade Kyon to their side. If Kyon becomes closer to Sasaki than Haruhi, then perhaps godhood will be switched over.
* Kyon is a [[CodeGeass Code Bearer]]?

[[WMG: Kyon is a ManipulativeBastard]]
He is already controlling everyone. This is not even a guess, we ''know'' that he is witholding significant information not just from Haruhi, but from Asahina as well. (the fact that they are recieving orders from her adult self.) and plans to use these as trump cards. It was also implied that he is trusted with the key of Nagato's power in case he would go ''Disappearance'' again. Koizumi is his last obstacle. Once he gets a similar trump card against Koizumi, he will start grinning, and comment that that everything is [[Manga/DeathNote “Just as planned”]].

[[WMG:Kyon is dead, and 'Alpha' and 'Beta' Kyon don't really exist.]]
The only way in which both paths could 'exist' canonically would be if there was multiple Kyons-therefore, Kyon is dead.
In fact, Kyon died on the island, which is why he was so shocked to see the murder from outside of his body. In order to stop the universe caving in on itself, he posessed Haruhi in her sleep in order to hijack Haruhi's powers subconsciously, allowing him to rewrite reality somewhat so the murder was a fake-however, his own acceptance of his death has prevented him from reviving himself. As the series moved on, Kyon has only existed at all because Haruhi has believed in his existance and his stand-in has been reflecting his currently personality. This was why Kyon could not be copied and made part of the Anti SOS brigade- they were trying to copy a ''puppet'' which never really existed in the first place. This also explains why there is no romance in the show besides hints of Kyon/Haruhi-everyone else knows he's a dead man walking. However, the ''puppet'' begins to gain some sentinence, with Kyon losing control of it. Therefore, Kyon is forced to control Haruhi again to create 'Beta' Kyon. Due to the duplicate doom syndrome, however, he is forced to use her powers to create another dimension. This alternate dimension is ultimately doomed due to duplicate syndrome, which is why there will only be one book 10 instead of two.

[[WMG: Kyon drains [[PhysicalGod powerful reality warpers' powers.]]]]
Sasaki was originally like Haruhi but after her first contact with Kyon (long, long before they knew each other) she began to lose her abilities until all she could do was create static bubbles. With it went her emotions and any trace of creativity. Eventually Haruhi will suffer the same fate. Kyon uses the powers he gains to make sure that StatusQuoIsGod, holding humanity back.
Therefore, if Asakura were to have killed Kyon then the world would have moved forwards, towards Mikuru's time. All in all, unless someone kills Kyon, humanity is stuck, Mikuru can never be born or come back in time, and the UnreliableNarrator is also secretly a VillainProtagonist.

[[WMG: An alternate dimension Kyon edited the SOS Brigade movie.]]
Notice how, in the actual movie, Kyon doesn't seem to have any idea what's going on. Even though he was the cameraman, he's always asking "why does the camera keep going up for no reason?" Couple this with how we know that Kyon didn't ''actually'' edit the movie, and it's the only logical explanation. Even crazier possibility- one Kyon did the visuals while another did the narration. It would explain why the narrator of the movie is as confused as everyone else.

[[WMG: There will be NO SLIDERS, because Kyon created a StableTimeLoop]]
When Haruhi met John Smith, he said he met time travelers, espers, aliens, but no sliders. So when Haruhi recreated the universe, she went of what he said and created time travelers, espers, aliens, BUT NO SLIDERS! So Kyon never met any, so he goes back in time and tells her that, so she never makes any, so he never meets any, and so on.
* Kyon didn't go back in time to before she altered/created/recreated the universe. Mikuru says that Haruhi is an anamoly that they are investigating that makes it impossible for them to travel back any further then three years ago. the time to when they did go back probably just after she did her thing to the universe.

[[WMG: The mole in Remote Island Syndrome ''was'' a clue that Kyon was lying about having figured out the plot immediately...]]
But only because [[TheMole he was in on it the whole time, even before anything remotely suspicious happened]] (which do you think Haruhi would find more entertaining, having an enjoyable island vacation with the risk of being stuck inside because of a storm, or having an enjoyable island vacation with the risk of being stuck inside because of a storm ''and'' a murder mystery?). [[FamilyUnfriendlyViolence That]]'s the real reason he didn't want his little sister along.

[[WMG: Kyon and Haruhi didn't kiss in the [[spoiler: Closed space,]] ''[[UnreliableNarrator They had sex.]]'']]
* The reason he didn't tell us? Because he wants to keep his sex life to himself, thank you, and the excess ShipTease would drive fans over the edge.
** That wouldn't be ShipTease, that would be consummation. With the risk of ShippingBedDeath.

[[WMG: Kyon is unique in all dimensions.]]
A time traveler, an alien and an esper were sent by organizations of time travelers, aliens and espers, in a conveniently close timeframe of the beginning of the SOS Brigade. Itsuki has told Kyon that he's irreplaceable while another esper, time traveler or alien could be sent if any of them are removed. No such slider organization is represented here. There won't be any other sliders in any other world, or any Kyon, so the movie could as easily have been in an alternate dimension rather than an overwritten one. Kyon is only going to discover this after he starts traveling inter-dimensionally, becoming the slider -- if he isn't already.

[[WMG: Kyon's real name is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8pu59pFyNU Crispin Freeman.]]]]
This makes more sense than it should. It's hard-ish to pronounce for Japanese (Kurisupin Furiiman or something) but sounds kind of regal, and starts with a "ku" sound which could easily mutate into "Kyon".

[[WMG: Kyon will punch Itsuki at some point.]]
Just compare their English voice actors. [[{{Durarara}} I will wait.]]

[[WMG: Kyon is so normal he's unaffected by any way the universe changes]]
This would explain why he doesn't remember Haruhi drawing stuff on Tannabata (originally she was caught before she could finish) and why in Disappearance he doesn't know something's wrong from the second Taniguchi turns up with a cold. It's just too weird for his brain to accept.

[[WMG: Data Entity Haruhi is feeding off of Esper Kyon]]
In this variation there are two kinds of sapients, data entities and humans. The human brain has accidentally over-evolved to the point where it can manipulate data in closed spaces, but not yet in free range conditions. This leads to the following items:
* The time machine must be built into a human brain, because it depends on the ability of that brain to handle the data manipulation. As a result time travelers are very very expensive and rare and you have to make the best use out of any you make, no matter how stupid they are.
* The esper syndicate can carry through on their offer to make Kyon an esper, because there's hardly any difference between ordinary human and esper.
* Haruhi's two (or three) data explosions both consisted of creating a pattern for a closed space and then handing that pattern to Kyon for him to trace and expand in his brain. The busy work of having him copy the patterns was just a trick to get him to concentrate on them. The real power of these patterns came when other people saw them afterwards.
* Yuki's group has just as much trouble tracking Haruhi as they have with the Canopy group. This also explains why Haruhi tends not to notice Yuki all that much.
* The so-called "error" in Yuki's program was simply that she realized the truth and so shut down both her and Haruhi's closed space abilities to keep from feeding the espers.
* Sasaki might be from another faction in Haruhi's domain, just as Yuki and Ryoko are from different factions in their domain.

[[WMG: Haruhi is bipolar because she knows Kyon has been dead since the start of the series]]
At some point Haruhi will unintentionally lead Kyon to his own grave. He will confront her there and go poof as she will no longer be able to square this circle.

[[WMG: Kyon is short for Kenny McCormick]]
And so now you know what his super power is. God will not let him die.

[[WMG: Kyon's snarking makes him the StrongSilentType.]]
Haruhi sees and uses Kyon as the StrongSilentType, simply because he's usually too busy snarking to himself to actually say anything. Kyon therefore becomes the default choice because Mikuru is always whining, Yuki is too mysterious and Itsuki talks to much (by agreeing with her).

[[WMG: Kyon is an agent of a third data dominion]]
Only a data entity has any chance of dodging Ryoko's warp strike and that's exactly what Kyon does when she makes her first attack. Note how she slows down to think things over after this point, giving Yuki time to arrive.

Yuki's and Kuyou's data dominions have started to investigate Earth, but have yet to discover that it is Kyon who is using the brains of innocent Earth girls Haruhi and Sasaki in order to increase his data reach. As a result both Haruhi and Sasaki are "damaged", especially in their emotional responses. If not stopped, Kyon will perfect the process, infect all of humanity and take over the Universe.

[[WMG: Kyon has 4 somewhere in his name]]
Think of it: ''JON'' Sumiisu. k''YON''. Yon is four in Japanese. It's possible that both indicate that Kyon's name has either "yon" or "four" somewhere in his name.

[[WMG: Kyon is the hand of god.]]
"Kyon, draw the chalk lines I've designed." "Kyon, put my drawing on our webpage." "Kyon, fan me too." "Kyon, point that camera as I direct." "Kyon, go pick up the room heater."
* God can't be bothered to lift her own finger, so she makes use of the silent snarker.

[[WMG: Once pawn Kyon advances to the final rank, he will be transformed into a queen.]]
* "Don't blame me. She's the one who dresses me like this."

[[WMG: Kyon is a nickname on his last name.]]
* Therefore little sister is Kyonko by default and she's got the ponytail to prove it.

[[WMG: How is a Kyon like a writing desk?]]
This will surely show up at some point.

[[WMG: Their berserk button is the relationship.]]
Note how when Kyon is stopped in his punch he does NOT say: "Never touch Mikuru again!", but rather suggests that the beating would make Haruhi a better person. Haruhi had just been innocently shipping Itsuki x Mikuru and went to more extreme measures only when Kyon objected to the pairing and afterwards (anime only?), she's even trying the ponytail again.

[[WMG: Good grief! His last name is Brown.]]
Kyon's Japanese name translates to "Charlie Brown", and he'll never win as long as Haruhi keeps jerking the football away.

[[WMG: Kyon is a closet pedophile.]]
He first realized this [[{{Squick}} when he was attracted to his little sister]], but was so horrified by it that he mapped his attraction to his sister to her ponytail, effectively helping him to stay in the closet by believing himself to have a very much not illegal ponytail fetish.

[[WMG: Kyonko is Mary Magdalene.]]
The light novels are a gender-swapped and background adjusted translation of recently found scrolls relating the missing teenage years of Christ.

[[WMG: Kyon is Korean-Japanese.]]



[[WMG:Kyon is Itsuki]]
Maybe a LiteralSplitPersonality thing, maybe something else,
but Kyon's introduction did involve him saying he had wished to be an Esper,then decided he'd
be better as the Esper's sidekick who didn't have to do all the work.

[[WMG: Kyon from the future did a massive XanatosGambit to ensure Haruhi Suzumiya gets her powers.]]

[[WMG: Kyon is WebOriginal/TheNostalgiaCritic.]]

He is already controlling everyone. This is not even a guess, we ''know'' that he is witholding significant information not just from Haruhi, but from Asahina as well. (the fact that they are recieving orders from her adult self.) and plans to use these as trump cards. It was also implied that he is trusted with the key of Nagato's power in case he would go ''Disappearance'' again. Koizumi is his last obstacle. Once he gets a similar trump card against Koizumi, he will start grinning, and comment that that everything is [[DeathNote “Just as planned”]].

[[WMG: Kyon is TheNostalgiaCritic.]]

[[WMG: Kyon is Korean-Japanese.]]

The light novels are a gender-swapped and background adjusted translation of recently found scrolls relating the missing teenage years of Christ.