History UsefulNotes / Abuse

27th Jun '16 9:47:35 PM MerryMikael
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* [[http://bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm Bullyonline; What is bullying?]]

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* [[http://bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm Bullyonline; What is bullying?]]What]] [[http://bullyonline.org/index.php/bullying/19-what-is-workplace-bullying is]] [[http://bullyonline.org/index.php/bullying/2-types-of-bullying bullying?]]
** [[http://bullyonline.org/index.php/bullying/4-why-me Possible reasons why it happens]]
9th Jun '16 4:14:12 PM Jeduthun
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Added DiffLines:

** ElderAbuse (senior citizens' decreasing ability to take care of themselves makes them vulnerable to abuse of every kind, whether from neglectful families, abusive or negligent caregivers, or exploitive scam artists)
20th Apr '16 7:39:26 PM karstovich2
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* In the United States: the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800799SAFE (18007997233), also available at [[http://www.ndvh.org]]
** List of child abuse reporting hotlines by state: [[https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=W-00082]]
* Safe Horizon: 1-800-621-HOPE (1-800-621-4673), also available at [[http://www.safehorizon.org]]

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* In the United States: the States:
** The
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800799SAFE (18007997233), also available at [[http://www.ndvh.org]]
** List of child abuse reporting hotlines by state: [[https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=W-00082]]
*
gov/organizations/?CWIGFunctionsaction=rols:main.dspROL&rolType=Custom&RS_ID=5]]
**
Safe Horizon: 1-800-621-HOPE (1-800-621-4673), also available at [[http://www.safehorizon.org]]
20th Apr '16 7:26:03 PM karstovich2
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* If you are concerned about abuse or neglect of a child, ''do'' call your local child welfare agency. It is not true that SocialServicesDoNotExist--although it is definitely true that some welfare agencies are capable of royal screwups, most of those screwups happen because nobody even brought the problem to their attention, or if the problem was brought to the agency's attention, it was not made clear that it was a child welfare issue. Calling the child welfare agency when you have serious concerns about a child being abused or neglected is usually a good choice.

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* If you are concerned about abuse or neglect of a child, ''do'' call your local child welfare agency. It is not ''not'' true that SocialServicesDoNotExist--although SocialServicesDoesNotExist--although it is definitely true that some welfare agencies are capable of [[DepartmentOfChildDisservices royal screwups, screwups]], most of those screwups happen because nobody even brought the problem to their attention, or if the problem was brought to the agency's attention, it was not made clear that it was a child welfare issue. Calling the child welfare agency when you have serious concerns about a child being abused or neglected is usually a good choice.
20th Apr '16 7:22:36 PM karstovich2
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* Contact your local police station (if you are in a Westernized country); they have lists of local groups and organisations, who will give you assistance and support. The police will also help you decide if you should pursue a restraining order against the abuser; in appropriate cases such orders are actually quite effective at deterring abusers from following you, and make it much easier to stop and punish abusers when they do try to resume the abuse.

to:

* Contact your local police station (if you are in a Westernized country); they have lists of local groups and organisations, who will give you assistance and support. The police will also help you decide if you should pursue a restraining order against the abuser; in appropriate cases such orders are actually quite effective at deterring abusers from following you, and make it much easier to stop and punish abusers when they do try to resume the abuse.abuse, as it is usually much easier to prove violation of the terms of a restraining order than it is to pursue criminal charges against an abuser.



* The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800799SAFE (18007997233), also available at [[http://www.ndvh.org]]

to:

* The If you are concerned about abuse or neglect of a child, ''do'' call your local child welfare agency. It is not true that SocialServicesDoNotExist--although it is definitely true that some welfare agencies are capable of royal screwups, most of those screwups happen because nobody even brought the problem to their attention, or if the problem was brought to the agency's attention, it was not made clear that it was a child welfare issue. Calling the child welfare agency when you have serious concerns about a child being abused or neglected is usually a good choice.
* In the United States: the
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800799SAFE (18007997233), also available at [[http://www.ndvh.org]]
15th Apr '16 4:17:56 AM MerryMikael
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* UsefulNotes/VictimBlaming. This can take dozens of forms (see the link for more details), but always boils down to the idea that a victim is somehow responsible for what happened to them. It can happen when victims blame themselves (see above), when abusers portray their actions as NeverMyFault, or when people try to cast doubt on the victim's story ("She led him on. He provoked him. They were asking for it"). Suffice to say, this way of thinking lacks not only basic empathy but plain common sense. Everyone is only responsible for ''their own'' actions and choices. Nothing anybody does can create an obligation for someone else to abuse them; it's the abuser's choice how to respond. Abusive actions are simply never justified, no matter what someone else may be saying or wearing or doing. Therefore it is ''never'' your fault whatever someone else chooses to do to you. That's on them. Period.

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* UsefulNotes/VictimBlaming. This can take dozens of forms (see the link for more details), but always boils down to the idea that a victim is somehow responsible for what happened to them. It can happen when victims blame themselves (see above), when abusers portray their actions as NeverMyFault, [[NeverMyFault never being their fault]], or when people try to cast doubt on the victim's story ("She led him on. He provoked him. They were asking for it"). Suffice to say, this way of thinking lacks not only basic empathy but plain common sense. Everyone is only responsible for ''their own'' actions and choices. Nothing anybody does can create an obligation for someone else to abuse them; it's the abuser's choice how to respond. Abusive actions are simply never justified, no matter what someone else may be saying or wearing or doing. Therefore it is ''never'' your fault whatever someone else chooses to do to you. That's on them. Period.
31st Mar '16 7:49:03 AM Jeduthun
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See also UsefulNotes/VictimBlaming. Suffice to say: Everyone is only responsible for ''their own'' actions and choices. It is ''never'' your fault whatever someone else chooses to do to you. That's on them. Period.

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\nSee also * UsefulNotes/VictimBlaming. This can take dozens of forms (see the link for more details), but always boils down to the idea that a victim is somehow responsible for what happened to them. It can happen when victims blame themselves (see above), when abusers portray their actions as NeverMyFault, or when people try to cast doubt on the victim's story ("She led him on. He provoked him. They were asking for it"). Suffice to say: say, this way of thinking lacks not only basic empathy but plain common sense. Everyone is only responsible for ''their own'' actions and choices. It Nothing anybody does can create an obligation for someone else to abuse them; it's the abuser's choice how to respond. Abusive actions are simply never justified, no matter what someone else may be saying or wearing or doing. Therefore it is ''never'' your fault whatever someone else chooses to do to you. That's on them. Period.
30th Mar '16 2:31:29 PM MerryMikael
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*** Caveat: Mostly helps understand how someone can get disconnected from their sense of self; also handled in [[http://www.towerofpower.com.au/controlling-people this article]]. One better be skeptical, however, about how much it applies to abusers and remember that some parts about psychology of disconnecting from one's sense of self seem to better describe ''targets'' of abuse, who themselves ''aren't'' abusive.

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*** Caveat: Mostly helps understand how someone can get disconnected from their sense of self; also handled in [[http://www.towerofpower.com.au/controlling-people this article]]. One better be skeptical, however, about how much it applies to abusers and remember that some parts about psychology of disconnecting from one's sense of self seem to better describe ''targets'' of abuse, who themselves ''aren't'' abusive.abuse. Also described are 'defining statements' someone can use to control another person and avoid connection with them.
26th Mar '16 2:33:09 PM Jeduthun
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Added DiffLines:

See also UsefulNotes/VictimBlaming. Suffice to say: Everyone is only responsible for ''their own'' actions and choices. It is ''never'' your fault whatever someone else chooses to do to you. That's on them. Period.
16th Feb '16 6:17:45 PM ScotieRw
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* "Don't sink to their level." The extension of the "forgive and forget" and "cheer up, it can't be that bad" fallacies, this is insulting, insensitive and abusive in a different way. Saying it implies that anything other than easy forgiving and forgetting is [[DisproportionateRetribution petty, childish and vindictive]] when someone wants to take serious steps to ensure their abusers actually face consequences. If you are dumb enough to say this to someone who has just escaped an abusive situation and wants to make sure that their abuser has to account for their behavior, you are part of the problem and should be fully prepared for their verbal razors.

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* "Don't sink to their level." The extension of the "forgive and forget" and "cheer up, it can't be that bad" fallacies, this is insulting, insensitive and abusive in a different way. Saying it implies that anything other than easy forgiving and forgetting is [[DisproportionateRetribution petty, childish and vindictive]] when someone wants to take serious steps to ensure their abusers actually face consequences. If you are dumb enough to say this to someone who has just escaped an abusive situation and wants to make sure that their abuser has to account for their behavior, you are part of the problem and should be fully prepared for their verbal razors.\n
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