History SoYouWantTo / WriteAGoodYaoi

1st Nov '16 9:24:17 AM Morgenthaler
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In bara crossover/fusion (e.g. you're going for a gay or bisexual male audience also, or exclusively) or slash, you are ''not'' bound to these roles and stereotypes. In fact, using them may be an AudienceAlienatingPremise, ''especially'' with a stereotypical whining, sniveling, misogynist stereotype if he were female uke, ''even more especially'' if it's a fanfic and a character who ''didn't'' or barely fit those stereotypes gets [[{{Wimpification}} them put on him.]]. There, you can have characters who are exclusive tops or exclusive bottoms, but these ''don't'' have to match anything in behavior outside the bedroom (and they can even contrast, a common bara contrast is having TheBigGuy or the rich and powerful guy or the {{Badass}} be an exclusive bottom), though they can, depending on the person. Of course, there's also versatile people/switches, who can and do enjoy being both top and bottom. Then there's people that don't believe in doing things that require a receptive or insertive partner. The general dynamic, though, is one of how ''actual'' male/male relationships work, not an idealized "seme" and "uke."

to:

In bara crossover/fusion (e.g. you're going for a gay or bisexual male audience also, or exclusively) or slash, you are ''not'' bound to these roles and stereotypes. In fact, using them may be an AudienceAlienatingPremise, ''especially'' with a stereotypical whining, sniveling, misogynist stereotype if he were female uke, ''even more especially'' if it's a fanfic and a character who ''didn't'' or barely fit those stereotypes gets [[{{Wimpification}} them put on him.]]. There, you can have characters who are exclusive tops or exclusive bottoms, but these ''don't'' have to match anything in behavior outside the bedroom (and they can even contrast, a common bara contrast is having TheBigGuy or the rich and powerful guy or the {{Badass}} badass be an exclusive bottom), though they can, depending on the person. Of course, there's also versatile people/switches, who can and do enjoy being both top and bottom. Then there's people that don't believe in doing things that require a receptive or insertive partner. The general dynamic, though, is one of how ''actual'' male/male relationships work, not an idealized "seme" and "uke."
13th Aug '16 5:51:43 PM RevolutionStone
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* '''RapeAsBackstory:''' Deserves a dishonorable mention for just how ''damn common'' it is in yaoi/slash. Not only are there many other ways to give someone an angsty, tragic backstory that too often go unexplored because rape is seen as a quick shortcut to angst (even the DoomedHometown is less cliche at this point), but there are several other issues with it if it is not written well. The first and most obvious being that poorly written, it can trivialize rape and actual victims of rape. It can also give credence to the AllGaysArePedophiles, AllMenAreRapists, DepravedBisexual, and RapeAndSwitch (which gets its own entry below) tropes - all absolutely ''horrific'' stereotypes that RealLife gay and bisexual men have faced for a long time (and still have to confront in much of the world). Finally, using rape for an angsty backstory overlooks that trauma from rape is ''very'' individualized - some people may indeed become suicidal and SelfHarm, while on the other end of the spectrum, there are a "lucky" few victims that [[NoSell aren't severely traumatized]] and actually ''do'' just want to "move on with their lives" - and nothing can predict in advance where someone will fall. If you absolutely ''must'' use rape as backstory (e.g. you're writing a fanfic about a character that experienced it), again do your research, and don't use it as a reason for {{wimpification}} or as a reason for the character "becoming gay."

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* '''RapeAsBackstory:''' Deserves a dishonorable mention for just how ''damn common'' it is in yaoi/slash. Not only are there many other ways to give someone an angsty, tragic backstory that too often go unexplored because rape is seen as a quick shortcut to angst (even the DoomedHometown is less cliche at this point), but there are several other issues with it if it is not written well. The first and most obvious being that poorly written, it can trivialize rape and actual victims of rape. It can also give credence to the AllGaysArePedophiles, AllMenAreRapists, DepravedBisexual, and RapeAndSwitch (which gets its own entry below) tropes - all absolutely ''horrific'' stereotypes that RealLife gay and bisexual men have faced for a long time (and still have to confront in much of the world). Finally, using rape for an angsty backstory overlooks that trauma from rape is ''very'' individualized - some people may indeed become suicidal and SelfHarm, while on the other end of the spectrum, there are a "lucky" few victims that [[NoSell aren't severely traumatized]] and actually ''do'' just want to "move on with their lives" - and nothing can predict in advance where someone will fall. (Also, while the severity of the incident ''can'' correlate to worse psychological trauma outcomes, this isn't always the case either - partially because internalized hatred and self-blaming is ''more'' likely to happen with date rape or an incident one isn't sure whether to consider rape or not, for example, than with being violently assaulted by a stranger. So it's entirely possible that, say, someone groped while drunk at a party may resort to addiction or self-harm and suicidal behavior, while someone violently raped by a stranger may not, even with the latter experience being ''objectively'' more physically traumatizing.) If you absolutely ''must'' use rape as backstory (e.g. you're writing a fanfic about a character that experienced it), again do your research, and don't use it as a reason for {{wimpification}} or as a reason for the character "becoming gay."
8th Feb '16 7:03:29 AM Anddrix
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* Things can "get lost," unlike in the vagina. It's almost impossible to lose something in an average vagina (though it has happened on occasion) because the entrance of the cervix serves as a barrier. The anus ''has'' no such barrier, so anything that gets shoved too far in is usually staying and being brought up through the bowel via peristalsis until passed / until getting stuck (small objects) or becoming immovably (without help) lodged deep in the bowel (larger objects). The results are not usually good and end up in the emergency room. Anything used for anorectal insertions should have a flared base (meaning something that works as a "stop") and/or another safe means of being pulled out of the body. This is actually important to depict, if your story involves toy use, as a result of ViewersAreMorons.

to:

* Things can "get lost," unlike in the vagina. It's almost impossible to lose something in an average vagina (though it has happened on occasion) because the entrance of the cervix serves as a barrier. The anus ''has'' no such barrier, so anything that gets shoved too far in is usually staying and being brought up through the bowel via peristalsis until passed / until getting stuck (small objects) or becoming immovably (without help) lodged deep in the bowel (larger objects). The results are not usually good and end up in the emergency room. Anything used for anorectal insertions should have a flared base (meaning something that works as a "stop") and/or another safe means of being pulled out of the body. This is actually important to depict, if your story involves toy use, as a result of ViewersAreMorons.use.
8th Nov '15 9:22:57 PM Scabbard
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* '''RapeAndSwitch:''': A ''severely'' discredited trope that still depressingly appears in some m/m fiction. ''Being raped does not make someone gay or bisexual,'' and that's all that needs to be said there. (In fact, being raped may well make someone take much, much longer to accept themselves as gay or bisexual, out of fear of the trauma being repeated, out of associating their orientation as somehow to blame or with the specific act that triggers them, and/or out of being convinced, sometimes due to a BadSamaritan HeteronormativeCrusader, that being gay or bisexual equates to being a rapist.)

to:

* '''RapeAndSwitch:''': '''RapeAndSwitch''': A ''severely'' discredited trope that still depressingly appears in some m/m fiction. ''Being raped does not make someone gay or bisexual,'' and that's all that needs to be said there. (In fact, being raped may well make someone take much, much longer to accept themselves as gay or bisexual, out of fear of the trauma being repeated, out of associating their orientation as somehow to blame or with the specific act that triggers them, and/or out of being convinced, sometimes due to a BadSamaritan HeteronormativeCrusader, that being gay or bisexual equates to being a rapist.)
8th Nov '15 9:20:13 PM Scabbard
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23rd Aug '15 10:16:35 AM nombretomado
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OK, we've all seen our share of [[CrackPairing crack pairings]]. People put on their ShippingGoggles, and sometimes they'll see a pairing you don't like. Or a pairing that you like but not as a couple. So it goes. Rather than having a FlameWar over whether it should be (let's say) [[GundamWing Heero x Duo, Heero x Relena, etc.]], why not just agree to disagree? Enjoy the fics for what they are: fiction. Focus on the quality of the story and writing, not the pairing. The {{Fandom}} will be a lot more peaceful, and thus more enjoyable, for all concerned.

to:

OK, we've all seen our share of [[CrackPairing crack pairings]]. People put on their ShippingGoggles, and sometimes they'll see a pairing you don't like. Or a pairing that you like but not as a couple. So it goes. Rather than having a FlameWar over whether it should be (let's say) [[GundamWing [[Anime/MobileSuitGundamWing Heero x Duo, Heero x Relena, etc.]], why not just agree to disagree? Enjoy the fics for what they are: fiction. Focus on the quality of the story and writing, not the pairing. The {{Fandom}} will be a lot more peaceful, and thus more enjoyable, for all concerned.
28th Mar '15 4:10:08 PM Doly
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!!'''To Wrap or Not To Wrap, To Lube or Not To Lube'''

RealLife anal penetration with ''anything'' generally almost always requires lubricant of some sort, since the rectum is not self-lubricating. Some people can make do with spit or outright dry, but these are ''very rare.'' RealLife penetrative sex also is safest with the insertive partner wearing a condom to protect his partner from HIV/AIDS (and not just for anal, also if doing "front hole" with a transman, pregnancy if he's pre-surgical) and to protect himself from HIV/AIDS and from urinary tract infection. (Though some male/male couples in RealLife don't use condoms, because "bareback" (condomless) sex is a thing especially pre-AIDS and/or among people who just don't care about being infected, occasionally monogamous couples will dispense with condoms if they know they are monogamous and the receptive partner has good enough hygiene that the top won't get a UTI, and/or the top or both partners are transmale and using prostheses or toys, meaning no bodily fluids entering anyone else's body as long as the devices are cleaned properly between partners)

Obviously in fiction, you are not ''obligated'' or required in any way to depict your couple using condoms or lube. Some writers think this is TooMuchInformation and takes away from the passion of the moment, or have other reasons to refuse the idea of depicting the use of condoms and/or lube - that is your right as a writer. That said, it ''is'' possible to make both work in an explicit story. It's your decision in the end. Keep in mind, though, that the more realistic a fandom is, the more likely you are to draw flames, ''especially'' if you don't just skip over condoms and lube but exaggerate the characters not having any need for them in an otherwise detailed and explicit scene. As in, anime and manga and literature and comic book fandoms won't necessarily care about realism, but film, live action TV, and especially Real Person Slash / bandslash are more likely areas to get flamed for a lack of realism. One rule to go by is if the universe you're depicting has HIV/AIDS mentioned in canon or is LikeRealityUnlessNoted for original works, you probably should consider your characters using condoms unless they have a ''damn'' good reason not to do so (your couple is strictly monogamous, story is set pre-HIV/AIDS, the top is transmale using a prosthesis).

In regard to lube, if your characters are using it, there are basically three types of lubricants. Oil-based are the oldest (olive oil being used by the Greeks, mineral oil, and the first modern lubes, glycerine and petroleum jelly), but generally are best avoided because they can have an ongoing laxative effect and can leak well after the fun is over. Avoiding them is especially important if the participants are using a condom as, in the real world, oil destroys latex - which will compromise latex condoms and ruin latex-based toys or prostheses. Water and silicone based lubes are more recent inventions (think KY, Astroglide, Wet, and many many others) and are generally far better for tolerability and safety and ease of use than almost all oil-based ([[NoodleImplements though Crisco has a following among men into large insertions]], and we'll just leave it at that).

Some items that ''aren't'' lubricants at all would include alcoholic beverages (astringent, painful), peanut butter (oily but too sticky), shampoo/soap (astringent, induces strong bowel contractions that could even bring down "stuff" from above the sigmoid colon), gasoline/kerosene/petroleum fuels, perfume/aftershave, and anything that is either astringent or sticky. Waxes don't generally work because they dry and harden inside - bowel obstruction is no fun.

Some items that are possibly lubricant but insufficient or unsafe are plain water (insufficient, dries too fast), spit (insufficient, dries even faster than plain water), industrial oils like motor oil or gun oil (carcinogenic, often inflammatory to skin), and pre-ejaculate or ejaculate (insufficient, irritating, and possible HIV/AIDS risk)

If your story involves "makeshift lube," look it up on Google and make sure it falls under the category of relatively safe for human consumption/use oil-based non-sticky substance, and/or find a way to have actual lube present. This will add realism to your story, as opposed to breaking readers' SuspensionOfDisbelief and making them either laugh, flame, or simply feel sympathy pain in the butt.

to:

!!'''To Wrap or Not To Wrap, To Lube or Not To Lube'''

RealLife anal penetration with ''anything'' generally almost always requires lubricant of some sort, since the rectum is not self-lubricating. Some people can make do with spit or outright dry, but these are ''very rare.'' RealLife penetrative sex also is safest with the insertive partner wearing a condom to protect his partner from HIV/AIDS (and not just for anal, also if doing "front hole" with a transman, pregnancy if he's pre-surgical) and to protect himself from HIV/AIDS and from urinary tract infection. (Though some male/male couples in RealLife don't use condoms, because "bareback" (condomless) sex is a thing especially pre-AIDS and/or among people who just don't care about being infected, occasionally monogamous couples will dispense with condoms if they know they are monogamous and the receptive partner has good enough hygiene that the top won't get a UTI, and/or the top or both partners are transmale and using prostheses or toys, meaning no bodily fluids entering anyone else's body as long as the devices are cleaned properly between partners)

Obviously in fiction, you are not ''obligated'' or required in any way to depict your couple using condoms or lube. Some writers think this is TooMuchInformation and takes away from the passion of the moment, or have other reasons to refuse the idea of depicting the use of condoms and/or lube - that is your right as a writer. That said, it ''is'' possible to make both work in an explicit story. It's your decision in the end. Keep in mind, though, that the more realistic a fandom is, the more likely you are to draw flames, ''especially'' if you don't just skip over condoms and lube but exaggerate the characters not having any need for them in an otherwise detailed and explicit scene. As in, anime and manga and literature and comic book fandoms won't necessarily care about realism, but film, live action TV, and especially Real Person Slash / bandslash are more likely areas to get flamed for a lack of realism. One rule to go by is if the universe you're depicting has HIV/AIDS mentioned in canon or is LikeRealityUnlessNoted for original works, you probably should consider your characters using condoms unless they have a ''damn'' good reason not to do so (your couple is strictly monogamous, story is set pre-HIV/AIDS, the top is transmale using a prosthesis).

In regard to lube, if your characters are using it, there are basically three types of lubricants. Oil-based are the oldest (olive oil being used by the Greeks, mineral oil, and the first modern lubes, glycerine and petroleum jelly), but generally are best avoided because they can have an ongoing laxative effect and can leak well after the fun is over. Avoiding them is especially important if the participants are using a condom as, in the real world, oil destroys latex - which will compromise latex condoms and ruin latex-based toys or prostheses. Water and silicone based lubes are more recent inventions (think KY, Astroglide, Wet, and many many others) and are generally far better for tolerability and safety and ease of use than almost all oil-based ([[NoodleImplements though Crisco has a following among men into large insertions]], and we'll just leave it at that).

Some items that ''aren't'' lubricants at all would include alcoholic beverages (astringent, painful), peanut butter (oily but too sticky), shampoo/soap (astringent, induces strong bowel contractions that could even bring down "stuff" from above the sigmoid colon), gasoline/kerosene/petroleum fuels, perfume/aftershave, and anything that is either astringent or sticky. Waxes don't generally work because they dry and harden inside - bowel obstruction is no fun.

Some items that are possibly lubricant but insufficient or unsafe are plain water (insufficient, dries too fast), spit (insufficient, dries even faster than plain water), industrial oils like motor oil or gun oil (carcinogenic, often inflammatory to skin), and pre-ejaculate or ejaculate (insufficient, irritating, and possible HIV/AIDS risk)

If your story involves "makeshift lube," look it up on Google and make sure it falls under the category of relatively safe for human consumption/use oil-based non-sticky substance, and/or find a way to have actual lube present. This will add realism to your story, as opposed to breaking readers' SuspensionOfDisbelief and making them either laugh, flame, or simply feel sympathy pain in the butt.
28th Mar '15 2:29:59 PM Doly
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If you're still bound and determined after all that, please consult another article of the SoYouWantTo namespace, [[SoYouWantTo/WriteASexScene So You Want To: Write A Sex Scene?]].

!!'''Penetration Is Not Necessary'''

Gay sex doesn't have to include penetration, and in RealLife a lot of it isn't. As well as masturbation and oral, there is passionate making out, and toys, and as a good way to show an equal relationship there is also grinding/frottage. Heck, you can have them fully clothed and it can still be genuinely for adults.

The point being, that nobody has to be face-down; it can be just as hot with a scene dedicated to them making out on the couch.

[[folder: A few sex ed points for more graphic material]]

to:

If you're still bound and determined after all that, please consult another article of the SoYouWantTo namespace, [[SoYouWantTo/WriteASexScene So You Want To: Write A Sex Scene?]].

!!'''Penetration Is Not Necessary'''

Gay sex doesn't have to include penetration, and in RealLife a lot of it isn't. As well as masturbation and oral, there is passionate making out, and toys, and as a good way to show an equal relationship there is also grinding/frottage. Heck, you can have them fully clothed and it can still be genuinely for adults.

The point being, that nobody has to be face-down; it can be just as hot with a scene dedicated to them making out on the couch.

[[folder: A few sex ed points for more graphic material]]
namespace.
28th Mar '15 2:28:25 PM Doly
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'''PornWithoutPlot:''' If it's well-written and tasteful, it can be good. But if it's poorly-written and crass, why bother with it? If you can't come up with even a slight semblance of plotline or relationship, at least put effort into your sex scene. Though the story will hold the audience's attention better if there's something besides sex for them to focus on--something that ultimately makes the sex even sexier.

to:

'''PornWithoutPlot:''' If it's well-written and tasteful, it can be good. But if it's poorly-written and crass, why bother with it? If you can't come up with even a slight semblance of plotline or relationship, at least put effort into your sex scene. Though the story will hold the audience's attention better if there's something besides sex for them to focus on--something that ultimately makes the sex even sexier.
28th Mar '15 6:28:06 AM Doly
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* "Keep in mind that they're all REALLY straight." Enforcing heteronormativity under the guise of "protecting canon" helps no one. Most fanfiction writers know the actual orientation of whomever they are writing about already, anyway, and sometimes they do write about characters or people that are really gay or bisexual, so they don't need to be "informed of reality."
** The ''only'' times this is justified and not homophobic is if someone is about to out a real person who hasn't come out (in which case it shouldn't be "keep in mind he's straight" but "keep in mind he might not want people knowing whatever he may be") or falsely accuse a real person of cheating on their wife with a man or the like in a way that that person will actually know.

to:

* "Keep in mind that they're all REALLY straight." Enforcing heteronormativity under the guise of "protecting canon" helps no one. Most fanfiction writers know the actual orientation of whomever they are writing about already, anyway, and sometimes they do write about characters or people that are really gay or bisexual, so they don't need to be "informed of reality."
** The ''only'' times this is justified and not homophobic is if someone is about to out a real person who hasn't come out (in which case it shouldn't be "keep in mind he's straight" but "keep in mind he might not want people knowing whatever he may be") or falsely accuse a real person of cheating on their wife with a man or the like in a way that that person will actually know.
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