History SelfDemonstrating / Wheatley

* [[WhatAnIdiot What A Moron]]: Alright, once more. Ahem. '''''I! AM NOT! A! MORON!'''''

Hello! So, uh... yes. This is... a page. My page. All mine. Nothing to do with... [[SelfDemonstrating/{{GLaDOS}} Her...]]

* {{Adorkable}}: I'm handsome! I'm dashing, really. Not a dork. Not a moron. Handsome. Not awkward, not dorky. Just...just dashing.

* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: Because a foreign accent is beyond [[SelfDemonstrating/GLaDOS her]] range of hearing.

* BriefAccentImitation: Funny story... I THOUGHT that speaking in a different accent would mean ''she'' wouldn't be able to hear me. Yeah, that didn't work out too well...

* IdiotBall: That's... that's brilliant, that is. Low. Thanks for the hate crime, mate.

* InnocentBlueEyes: Well, innocent blue ''eye'' anyway. Much more trustworthy than ''[[SelfDemonstrating/GLaDOS her]]'' [[YellowEyesOfSneakiness Yellow Eye of Sneakiness,]] if you ask me. Honestly, who would trust a person with a yellow eye? You'd have to be pretty desperate, [[spoiler: dropped down into a deep mine shaft]] or something...you know...just as a hypothetical example.

So, yes. This is my page. It's, um, very nice. A little bit sparse, but y'know, working on it. Why don't you go ahead and read it? I mean, it's no [[Literature/ThePrince Machiavelli]]- which I've read, by the way- but it's very interesting. You'll notice it's a ''great'' deal more readable than ''her'' page, as I'm not changing the capitalization or the little teensy writing style every third letter or so. Nope, not good Ol' Wheatley -- consistency is my middle name...though, actually, I don't have a last name, so I can't really have a middle name either, so... yeah. Anyway, you get to just sit back, read in comfort, and imagine that I'm talking to you in the kind of smooth, chipper Bristolian accent you might associate with [[Creator/StephenMerchant very tall, very blonde, very... um... bespectacled British comedians.]] [[WebAnimation/Harry101UK Or a very talented YouTuber.]]

* FeigningIntelligence: Not feigning! But [[PerfectlyCromulentWord geinfing]]! See what I did there? I just ''invented'' a brand new word... using nothing but the power of my mind.

* InformedFlaw: The idiot thing. I'm really very clever.

So, yes. This is my page. It's, um, very nice. A little bit sparse, but y'know, working on it. Why don't you go ahead and read it? I mean, it's no [[Literature/ThePrince Machiavelli]]- which I've read, by the way- but it's very interesting. You'll notice it's a ''great'' deal more readable than ''her'' page, as I'm not changing the capitalization or the little teensy writing style every third letter or so. Nope, not good Ol' Wheatley -- consistency is my middle name...though, actually, I don't have a last name, so I can't really have a middle name either, so... yeah. Anyway, you get to just sit back, read in comfort, and imagine that I'm talking to you in the kind of smooth, chipper Bristolian accent you might associate with [[Creator/StephenMerchant very tall, very blonde, very... um... bespectacled British comedians.]] [[WebAnimation/Harry101UK Or a very talented Youtuber if I do say so myself]]

So, yes. This is my page. It's, um, very nice. A little bit sparse, but y'know, working on it. Why don't you go ahead and read it? I mean, it's no [[Literature/ThePrince Machiavelli]]- which I've read, by the way- but it's very interesting. You'll notice it's a ''great'' deal more readable than ''her'' page, as I'm not changing the capitalization or the little teensy writing style every third letter or so. Nope, not good Ol' Wheatley -- consistency is my middle name...though, actually, I don't have a last name, so I can't really have a middle name either, so... yeah. Anyway, you get to just sit back, read in comfort, and imagine that I'm talking to you in the kind of smooth, chipper Bristolian accent you might associate with [[Creator/StephenMerchant very tall, very blonde, very... um... bespectacled British comedians.]]

Wait, what? Why are those words invisible? Hold on, just wait a bit I can fix it... wait a bit... I can... ... Err... while we're waiting, why don't you feel free to [[SchmuckBait highlight that line]]? [[BlatantLies Trust me, there's no spoiler in that spoiler tag.]] Especially big [[spoiler:endgame]] spoilers about myself. Hey, there it is again! Wonder why that is? [[note]] GLaDOS: THEY're '''spo'''i''lers'' YOU '''idiot'''.[[/note]] Hey! Who let her in here?!

* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: Because a foreign accent is beyond [[GLaDOS her]] range of hearing.

* InnocentBlueEyes: Well, innocent blue ''eye'' anyway. Much more trustworthy than ''[[{{Glados}} her]]'' [[YellowEyesOfSneakiness Yellow Eye of Sneakiness,]] if you ask me. Honestly, who would trust a person with a yellow eye? You'd have to be pretty desperate, [[spoiler: dropped down into a deep mine shaft]] or something...you know...just as a hypothetical example.

* NoodleIncident: You're never gonna believe it. After [[{{Glados}} she]] crushed me, I was sure I was done for. Then this bird comes in ...

* NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat: Really, some of my best friends are adopted. And human.[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs Human and adopted.]]

* NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat: Really, some of my best friends are adopted. And human. Human and adopted.

* LogicBomb: What, that stupid "This question is false" thing? Easy. The answer is "true".

So, yes. This is my page. It's, um, very nice. A little bit sparse, but y'know, working on it. Why don't you go ahead and read it? I mean, it's no [[Literature/ThePrince Machiavelli]]- which I've read, by the way- but it's very interesting. You'll notice it's a ''great'' deal more readable than ''her'' page, as I'm not changing the capitalization or the little teensy writing style every third letter or so. Nope, not good Ol' Wheatley -- consistency is my middle name...though, actually, I don't have a last name, so I can't really have a middle name either, so... yeah. Anyway, you get to just sit back, read in comfort, and imagine that I'm talking to you in the kind of smooth, chipper Bristolian accent you might associate with [[Creator/StephenMerchant very tall, very blonde, very... um... bespectacled British comedians.]]

* TheAlcoholic: [[spoiler: I just- I just ''had'' to test.]]
* AllGirlsLikePonies: And boybands...right?

Hello! So, uh...yes. This is...a page. My page. All mine. Nothing to do with...[[SelfDemonstrating/{{GLaDOS}} Her...]]

* DangerouslyGenreSavvy: [[spoiler: See? Not a moron!]]

* BaseBreaker: I would like to take a moment to thank those who have found it in their heart to forgive me. I understand that others are still mad, but, you know, people change.

* BerserkButton: '''''I AM NOT A MORON!!!!!'''''

* PunctuatedForEmphasis: I! AM NOT! A MORON!

* [[WhatAnIdiot What A Moron]]: Okay, for the last time... '''''I! AM NOT! A! MORON!'''''

* NoodleIncident: You're never gonna believe it. After [[{{Glados}} she]] crushed me, I was sure I was done for. Than this bird comes in ...

* HeightAngst: A whole sector full of nanobots, and who's the ''one'' fellow they pick on? That's right, the oversized ID core. I'll have you know I am ''quite'' a normal size compared to the other Cores! I'll see you in court.

** Oh, and uh, I was in that uh [[LegoDimensions lego...game]], right? Ahhhhhh...have to admit, those new portal things they had there were pretty awesome...

** Ooh, will you look at that? I'm the page image! That's what I call recognition!

* ImageSong: "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEPZ-drnUKE Wheatley's Song]]." A bit of a collaboration between me and Music/MiracleOfSound. '''I''' did most of the work, though, you know, what with me being a genius and all.