History Quotes / VoodooShark

-->-=''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "A Clone of My Own"

->'''Pat:''' Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then--takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is ''[[PlaceOfProtection holy ground]]'', right? HE CAN'T DO THAT!\\
'''Spoony:''' He just did.\\
'''Pat:''' ''(whining)'' But he ''can't!''\\
'''Spoony:''' ''(admiringly)'' You heard the man! He "[[HandWave doesn't care about the rules!]]"\\
'''Pat:''' That's not how it works! Are you sure it's holy ground??\\
'''Spoony:''' Well, it has to be; there's [[BadassPreacher monks with machine guns]] running around.\\
'''Pat:''' Ah, I guess you're right. That makes se--[[DoubleTake HUH???]]
-->--[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]] and PatTheNESPunk watch ''{{Franchise/Highlander}}: Endgame''

->Hang on, hang on, hang on…Suzie set all this up from beginning to end under the assumption that she [[ThanatosGambit might die at some point]] and would need some kind of method to get herself brought back to life? She set up a revenge plan for somebody who she [[RememberTheNewGuy hasn’t even met yet?]] Argh! This script is such mouldy old dick cheese! It's so badly written it has me physically attacking my keyboard to slate it! Apparently if she dies and doesn’t see Max for three months he becomes [[ManchurianAgent a ticking time bomb]] and her orders kick in…he follows Suzie’s programme and starts killing and the whole chain of events forces them to bring her back from the dead and then she escapes. All so she could [[ComplexityAddiction kill her abusive father]]...It's the most convoluted load of fanny fluff; it's so full of holes and implausibilities it [[CriticProof isn’t even worth discussing.]]

->What this comic tries to do is convince everyone that Scrier is in fact a cult-like organization...[[MesACrowd All of the Scriers dress and look alike]], see, so whenever you saw Scrier appearing to mysteriously travel somewhere, it was really a different guy. Seriously. Totally. Even that time you saw him walk through motherfucking walls. That was just… [[SufficientlyAnalyzedMagic super-technology]]. Fucking hell, it’s like Marvel editorial wanted to solve the problem of a villain being convoluted and making no sense by seeing if they could get him to make even less sense.

->William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
-->--'''Fact Sphere''', ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}''

->Then we finally get an actual explanation for why the Federation is working with [[MostDefinitelyNotAVillain our plastic surgery addicted villains]]: The Head-Staplers have the technology to harvest whatever the hell is in the rings, and the Federation doesn't. Since the planet is in Federation territory, a partnership was formed. We also learn that the harvesting will make the planet uninhabitable. And if the Head-Staplers just establish a colony of their own on the planet, it'll take ten years for the rings to begin to take effect. Is it just me, or is this script roughly 90% about plugging up all its own plot holes?

I know he's a priest. But priests don't have telepathy...[-I don't think....so-]....[--please explain.--]

->Hang on, hang on, hang on…Suzie set all this up from beginning to end under the assumption that she [[ThanatosGambit might die at some point]] and would need some kind of method to get herself brought back to life? She set up a revenge plan for somebody who she [[RememberTheNewGuy hasn’t even met yet?]] Argh! This script is such mouldy old dick cheese! Its so badly written it has me [[CausticCritic physically attacking my keyboard]] to slate it! Apparently if she dies and doesn’t see Max for three months he becomes [[ManchurianAgent a ticking time bomb]] and her orders kick in…he follows Suzie’s programme and starts killing and the whole chain of events forces them to bring her back from the dead and then she escapes. All so she could [[ComplexityAddiction kill her abusive father]]...Its the most convoluted load of fanny fluff; so full of holes and implausibilities it [[CriticProof isn’t even worth discussing.]]

->Hang on, hang on, hang on…Suzie set all this up from beginning to end under the assumption that she [[ThanatosGambit might die at some point]] and would need some kind of method to get herself brought back to life? She set up a revenge plan for somebody who she [[RememberTheNewGuy hasn’t even met yet?]] Argh! This script is such mouldy old dick cheese! Its so badly written it has me [[CausticCritic physically attacking my keyboard]] to slate it! Apparently if she dies and doesn’t see Max for three months he becomes [[ManchurianAgent a ticking time bomb]] and her orders kick in…he follows Suzie’s programme and starts killing and the whole chain of events forces them to bring her back from the dead and then she escapes. All so she could [[ComplexityAddiction kill her abusive father]]...Its the most convoluted load of fanny fluff; so full of holes and implausibilities it [[SarcasmFailure isn’t even worth discussing.]]

-->-''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "A Clone of My Own"

-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Retsupurae}}''' on ''[[TheTrappedTrilogy Escape]]''

->It turns out their lead suspect is married to a guy who [[Creator/BillyConnolly Billy]] molested as a child, which I guess...explains his...psy...chic...link--I dunno, I dunno, I'm trying to make sense of it but I can't. "What the hell is going on with this psychic thing?" I don't know.\\\
No, seriously: ''Why'' does he have a psychic link...to the ''husband''...of a boy...he molested as a child? I know he's a priest. But priests don't have telepathy...[-I don't think....so-]....[--please explain.--]

->'''Pat:''' Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then--takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is ''[[PlaceOfProtection holy ground]]'', right? He can't do that!\\

'''Pat:''' Ah, I guess you're right. That makes se--[[DoubleTake HUH???

->''"No, that was actually Xorn's evil twin brother, possessed by the sentient mold Sublime, pretending to be me, pretending to be Xorn."''

->''"William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts."''

->'''Darwin''': How come we can see you every day, but we need this to see [other ghosts]?
->'''Carrie''': Because I was ''born'' a ghost! Duh!
->'''Darwin''': [[LampshadeHanging How does]] ''[[LampshadeHanging that]]'' [[LampshadeHanging work?]]
->'''Gumball''': Duh! *beat* Actually, I have no idea.

->''"The Loch Ness Monster is a submarine. Driven by Bigfoot."''

->''"That's what a [[TropeNamer voodoo shark]] is -- when your story depends on something so moronic, that there's no way of explaining it without resorting to something that's ''equally'' stupid!"''

->'''Rich:''' As Theodore Rex explained, [[PsychicDreamsForEveryone all dinosaurs are mildly psychic]] when it comes to other dinosaurs.
->'''Josh:''' I'm really glad you went back to pick up that plot detail, because the movie wouldn't make a lick of sense without it.
->'''Jack:''' Also, I don't want to brush over [[ARareSentence what Rich Evans has just said...]] ''(everyone guffaws)'' These are not just dinosaurs living in the future; ''they are psychic, talking dinosaurs.''
->'''Rich:''' That concept has no payoff other than it's his only motivation to go on the case.
-->--'''''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst''''' on ''Film/TheodoreRex''

->'''Pat:''' Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then--takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is ''[[PlaceOfProtection holy ground]]'', right? He can't do that!
->'''Spoony:''' He just did.
->'''Pat:''' ''(whining)'' But he ''can't!''
->'''Spoony:''' ''(admiringly)'' You heard the man! He "[[HandWave doesn't care about the rules!]]"
->'''Pat:''' That's not how it works! Are you sure it's holy ground??
->'''Spoony:''' Well, it has to be; there's [[BadassPreacher monks with machine guns]] running around.
->'''Pat:''' Ah, I guess you're right. That makes se--[[DoubleTake HUH???]]
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' and '''PatTheNESPunk''' watch ''{{Franchise/Highlander}}: Endgame''

->''"Then we finally get an actual explanation for why the Federation is working with [[MostDefinitelyNotAVillain our plastic surgery addicted villains]]: The Head-Staplers have the technology to harvest whatever the hell is in the rings, and the Federation doesn't. Since the planet is in Federation territory, a partnership was formed. We also learn that the harvesting will make the planet uninhabitable. And if the Head-Staplers just establish a colony of their own on the planet, it'll take ten years for the rings to begin to take effect. Is it just me, or is this script roughly 90% about plugging up all its own plot holes?"''
-->--'''''Film/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Film/StarTrekInsurrection''

->'''Chris:''' Lex doesn’t even have any reason to not like Clark now. The only thing that made him a bad person was Lionel and Clark [[WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds being to dick to him]] for his whole life. But now he has [[MindWipe NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING]]. He should be a decent guy!
->'''David''': Or a drooling invalid.
->'''Chris''': They’ve seriously taken away any reason he had to be evil, and just end up making him evil anyway. Like, it would actually be better if we got a scene where he finds a letter to himself that’s just a picture of Clark that says '[[NoteToSelf THIS GUY SUCKS]]' to explain it.
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-finale/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Finale")

->''"What this comic tries to do is convince everyone that Scrier is in fact a cult-like organization...[[MesACrowd All of the Scriers dress and look alike]], see, so whenever you saw Scrier appearing to mysteriously travel somewhere, it was really a different guy. Seriously. Totally. Even that time you saw him walk through motherfucking walls. That was just… [[SufficientlyAnalyzedMagic super-technology]]. Fucking hell, it’s like Marvel editorial wanted to solve the problem of a villain being convoluted and making no sense by seeing if they could get him to make even less sense."''
-->--'''''[[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/11/the_13_dumbest_spiderman_storiesjust_from_the_clon.php Topless Robot]]''''', "The 13 Dumbest Spider-Man Stories.. Just From ComicBook/TheCloneSaga"

->'''Pat:''' But he ''can't!''
->'''Spoony:''' You heard the man! He "[[HandWave doesn't care about the rules.]]"

->''Well, that answers that question, and raises so many others.''
-->--'''Grim''', ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'', "Here Thar Be Dwarves"

->'''Cubert''': That's impossible. Nothing can go faster than the speed of light.\\
'''Farnsworth''': No, no, no, of course not. That's why scientists increased the speed of light in 2092.
-->-''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "A Clone of My Own"

->'''Rich:''' As Theodore Rex explained, [[PsychicDreamsForEveryone all dinosaurs are mildly psychic]] when it comes to other dinosaurs.
->'''Josh:''' I'm really glad you went back to pick up that plot detail, because the movie wouldn't make a lick of sense without it.
->'''Jack:''' Also, I don't want to brush over [[ARareSentence what Rich Evans has just said...]] ''(everyone guffaws)'' These are not just dinosaurs living in the future; ''they are psychic, talking dinosaurs.''
->'''Rich:''' That concept has no payoff other than it's his only motivation to go on the case.
-->--'''''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst''''' on ''Film/TheodoreRex''

->''"What this comic tries to do is convince everyone that Scrier is in fact a cult-like organization...[[MesACrowd All of the Scriers dress and look alike]], see, so whenever you saw Scrier appearing to mysteriously travel somewhere, it was really a different guy. Seriously. Totally. Even that time you saw him walk through motherfucking walls. That was just… [[SufficientlyAnalyzedMagic super-technology]]. Fucking hell, it’s like Marvel editorial wanted to solve the problem of a villain being convoluted and making no sense by seeing if they could get him to make even less sense."''
-->--'''''[[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/11/the_13_dumbest_spiderman_storiesjust_from_the_clon.php Topless Robot]]''''', "The 13 Dumbest Spider-Man Stories.. Just From ComicBook/TheCloneSaga"

->'''Chris:''' Lex doesn’t even have any reason to not like Clark now. The only thing that made him a bad person was Lionel and Clark [[WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds being to dick to him]] for his whole life. But now he has [[MindWipe NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING]]. He should be a decent guy!\\
'''David''': Or a drooling invalid.\\
'''Chris''': They’ve seriously taken away any reason he had to be evil, and just end up making him evil anyway. Like, it would actually be better if we got a scene where he finds a letter to himself that’s just a picture of Clark that says '[[NoteToSelf THIS GUY SUCKS]]' to explain it.
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-finale/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Finale")

->'''Pat:''' Our mysterious whispering immortal and his band of merry men find Connor and other immortals strapped to these tables underground. He seeks out Connor, then--takes all their heads?! Wait, t-t-this is ''[[PlaceOfProtection holy ground]]'', right? He can't do that!\\
'''Spoony:''' He just did.\\
'''Pat:''' But he ''can't''!\\
'''Spoony:''' You heard the man! He "[[HandWave doesn't care about the rules.]]"\\
'''Pat:''' That's not how it works! Are you sure it's holy ground?!\\
'''Spoony:''' Well, it has to be; there's [[BadassPreacher monks with machine guns]] running around.\\
'''Pat:''' Ah, I guess you're right, that makes se--''[[DoubleTake huh???]]''

'''Chris''': They’ve seriously taken away any reason he had to be evil, and just end up making him evil anyway. Like, it would actually be better if we got a scene where he finds a letter to himself that’s just a picture of Clark that says '[[WriteBackToTheFuture THIS GUY SUCKS]]' to explain it.

->'''Darwin''': [[LampshadeHanging How does ''that'' work?]]

-->--'''''[[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/11/the_13_dumbest_spiderman_storiesjust_from_the_clon.php Topless Robot]]''''', "The 13 Dumbest Spider-Man Stories.. Just From ''ComicBook/TheCloneSaga''"

-->--'''''[[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/11/the_13_dumbest_spiderman_storiesjust_from_the_clon.php Topless Robot]]''''', "The 13 Dumbest Spider-Man Stories.. Just From ''ComicBook/TheCloneSaga''"]]

-->--'''''Topless Robot''''', [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/11/the_13_dumbest_spiderman_storiesjust_from_the_clon.php "The 13 Dumbest Spider-Man Stories.. Just From The Clone Saga"]]

'''Pat:''' Ah, I guess you're right, that makes se--'''[[DoubleTake HUH??]]'''

->'''Chris:''' Lex doesn’t even have any reason to not like Clark now. The only thing that made him a bad person was Lionel and Clark [[RootingForTheEmpire being to dick to him for his whole life]]. But now he has [[MindWipe NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING]]. He should be a decent guy!\\

->''I eat my peas with honey.''
->''I've done it all my life.''
->''It makes the peas taste funny,''
->''But it keeps them on the knife.''
-->--Traditional children's poem

'''Spoony:''' He just did!\\

'''Spoony:''' You heard the man: He "doesn't care about the rules!"\\

'''Pat:''' Ah, I guess you're right, that makes se--'''[[DoubleTake HUH???]]'''\\