History Quotes / ToodumbToLive

->''"This is the only show I know of where apathy is a constant threat."''
-->--'''ObscurusLupa''' on ''{{Charmed}}''

-->--'''ObsucursLupa''' on ''{{Charmed}}''

-->-- [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/The_NeverEnding_Story_III__Escape_from_Fantasia_1994.aspx?Page=2 Agony Booth]] recap of ''Film/TheNeverEndingStory III: Escape From Fantasia''

->''"... And as little as one month. Assuming the moron intends to give a two hour speech in a gale with no coat or hat. For more information, consult'' WilliamHenryHarrison, Idiot of Tippecanoe."

-->--'''Goose''', ''TopGun''

-->'''Goose''', ''TopGun''

-->'' '''Goose''', ''TopGun''

->[[SympathyForTheHero Poor]] [[TragicHero Ned Stark]]. Brave man, ''terrible'' judgement.
-->--'''Jaime Lannister''' on the choices of his ArchEnemy on ''Series/GameOfThrones''

->''"I clean my knives in a crossbow. Some people say it's foolish... I put them in the hoover and set it on blow and just shoot water at them around the kitchen, as I sit with a plug -- bare-wired... at my feet... '''PEEING ON IT!''' All to get a better clean."''
-->-- '''Phil Jupitus''' on ''Series/{{QI}}'' after hearing about the fatal accidents involving dishwasher users impaling themselves on the cutlery basket because they put all the knives in pointing up -- all to get a better clean.

->''"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."''
-->-- '''Rincewind''' on Twoflower, Discworld/TheColourOfMagic

->'''Tom Servo:''' Hey, the cop never said anything about doing intensely stupid things!
-->-- ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', "Last Clear Chance", right before the characters get hit by a train.

-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

->''"And all the victims in these films have had their common sense glands removed."''
-->-- '''Eddie Izzard''' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4yrL6rc6bU on Horror Movies]]

->''"Please do not use this electrical appliance while you're in the bath. Actually, you know what? Go on. If you're that dumb, I think we can afford to lose ya!"''.
-->-- '''Ed Byrne''' on [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JURo7tQwwEs Mock the Week]]

-->-- '''Urdnot Wrex''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect''

->"That's our hero, ladies and gentlemen: too stupid, to ''eat!''"
-->-- '''Noah "[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One"]] Antwiler''' on a scene of Tidus choking on his food in ''[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX Final Fantasy X]]''

->''...Again, my strength really lie in fixing computers, not in designing or managing needlessly nightmarish robots, but it just seems like a basic rule of computer-making that you should be able to turn it off at some point. I mean, my toaster has a plug in case something goes wrong, you know? And i haven't armed my toaster or given it access to my house's security system.''
-->--'''[[{{Terminator}} Cyberdine's]] tech support engineer''', ''Website/{{Cracked}}.com''

-->--WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd ''Videogame/ANightmareOnElmStreet'' parody video.

-->--'''Misa Amane''', ''[[DNAKPTS4TV Death Note: The Abridged Series (Kpts4tv)]]''

-->--WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd ''Videogame/ANightmareOnElmStreet'' video.

->"Front door, closet... front door, closet... closet."

->''Okay guys it looks like you have everything you need so I'm gonna go to bed now! Alone! Naked! And with the door unlocked! Bye!''
-->--Misa Amane, ''[[DNAKPTS4TV Death Note: The Abridged Series (Kpts4tv)]]''

->'''[[Manga/DeathNote Misa]]''': Okay guys it looks like you have everything you need so I'm gonna go to bed now! Alone! Naked! And with the door unlocked! Bye!
-->--''[[DNAKPTS4TV Death Note: The Abridged Series (Kpts4tv)]]''

->''"I am too stupid to LIVE!"''
-->-- '''Rebecca Howe''', ''Series/{{Cheers}}''

->'''''"Defective''' microchips? I like the sound of that!"''
-->-- '''Mikey Simon''', ''WesternAnimation/KappaMikey''

->'''Brian Griffin:''' Who the hell buys a novelty fire extinguisher?\\
'''Peter Griffin:''' Someone who cares enough about physical comedy to [[InferredHolocaust put his whole family at serious risk]].
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->''"So, they decide to play Blind Man's Bluff, where they turn out all the lights, drink a lot of beer, and roam around the house; a.k.a the easiest setup for a slasher film ever. The only way they could make this easier for the killer is if they killed'' themselves!"
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''', ''The Mutilator'' (1985)

->'''Fry:''' Wait. I know where we can get beeswax. From those giant space bees that nearly killed us, and we swore we'd never go back there.
->'''Farnsworth:''' Let's go back there!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

-> '''Sonic:''' Cool, it's raining fire!\\
'''Players:''' Cool! Cool! I'm gonna die!
-->-- LetsPlay ''LetsPlay/SonicTheHedgehog2006'' by pokecapn, Medibot, Kung-Fu Jesus, [=IlluminatusVespucci=] and John Condit

->'''Mach:''' Hang on, I'm getting a strange energy reading.\\
'''Ops:''' '''Do not touch the artifact! Direct orders from Dostya!'''\\
'''Mach:''' It'll just take a second.
-->-- ''VideoGame/SupremeCommander''

->'''Iori Yagami:''' Geez, sorry you guys! There's no cure for stupidity!
-->-- ''[[VideoGame/TheKingOfFighters The King Of Fighters '96]]''

->''"You remember what daddy always said. That God gave you a big sister instead of a brain."''
-->-- '''Meredith''' (to Flint), ''Series/{{Heroes}}''

->''"You were born to be murdered."''
-->-- '''[[DeadpanSnarker Major Calloway]]''' (to Holly Martins), ''Film/TheThirdMan''

->'''Things I Learned From This Game''':\\
''Some people are just too fucking stupid to live.''
-->-- [[http://web.archive.org/web/20080212094700/http://atrocities.primaryerror.net/rahowasucks.html This review]] of ''Racial Holy War''.

->'''Moiraine:''' DO NOT go out into Shadar Logoth, or touch anything!\\
'''Mat:''' Let's go out into Shadar Logoth and touch things!\\
'''Rand''' and '''Perrin:''' Good idea.
-->-- ''Literature/TheWheelOfTime'' [[http://www.ataricommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=386600 mock summary]]

->''"Duuuh. You died because you were dumb."''
-->-- [[HaveANiceDeath Death message]], ''VideoGame/SpaceQuest V''

->''"Stupidity is the only natural capital crime."''
-->-- '''Creator/RobertAHeinlein''', ''The Notebooks of Lazarus Long''

->'''Klingon Transporter Operator:''' I do not deserve to live.
->'''Kirk:''' Fine, I'll kill you later.
-->-- ''Film/StarTrekIIITheSearchForSpock''

->''"I mean like, dangerously, not-able-to-function-on-his-own level of stupid, like, if you were to give this guy a cup of applesauce and a spoon, would probably drown-level stupid."''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiller]]'''

->''"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."''
-->-- '''Rincewind''' on Twoflower, ''Discworld/TheColourOfMagic''

->''"Pages one and two had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier-mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it."''
-->-- ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy''

->'''Thief:''' Okay, Fighter, tie this rope to something sturdy so we can climb across\\
'''Fighter:''' [off-panel] Done!\\
'''Black Mage:''' Why is the rope on fire?\\
'''Fighter:''' I tied it to the lava! Y'know, so we could find it when we're done here.
-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

-> '''Link:''' Ah! Fire! My flame-proof suit isn't working!
-> '''Navi:''' That's not a fireproof suit, you just painted your regular suit red!
-> '''Link:''' But... isn't that how fireproof suits work? You know, by camouflaging me from the flames?
-> '''Navi:''' How you've managed to survive this long is a mystery to me.
-->-- ''[[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]: TheAbridgedSeries'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywoScf2vYU0 Episode 12]]

->''"Thoth sprang up, blood mounting darkly to his face, while his eyes flamed with the stunned fury of a man who suddenly realizes [[TooDumbToLive the full depths of a fool's swinish stupidity]]."''
-->-- '''Creator/RobertEHoward''', "[[Franchise/ConanTheBarbarian The Phoenix On The Sword]]," as Thoth-Amon realizes that Dion has his lost RingOfPower and doesn't even know it.

->''"He said he wouldn't be my friend if I didn't tell him!"''
-->-- '''Barney''', on why he revealed the player's top secret mission to the enemy in ''VideoGame/HeartOfEvil''.

->''"I suppose from a creative standpoint, some characters deserve to die. Ones that lack common sense or even basic survival instinct."''
-->-- '''Abed''', ''Series/{{Community}}''

->'''Meatwad:''' ([[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext holding a scorpion]]): I'll eat it... if you eat it.
->'''Shake:''' All right, deal! Wait a minute... how are you gonna eat it after I eat it?
->'''Meatwad:''' Look, you eat it, then I go back in time to before the time that you eat it, then I'll eat it. [[note]]They actually do have a time machine in this episode, but it's pretty clear Meatwad's lying.[[/note]]
->'''Shake:''' Okay.
-->''(later)''
->'''Frylock:''' What's wrong with Shake?
->'''Meatwad:''' Oh, he's dead. Dumbass ate a scorpion.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce''

->''"Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Ankh]]-[[WretchedHive Morpork]], but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of [[WretchedHive the Shades]] was suicide. Asking for a short beer in a [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame dwarf]] bar was suicide. Saying '[[SiliconBasedLife Got rocks in your head]]?' to a [[AllTrollsAreDifferent troll]] was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful."''
-->-- ''Discworld/MenAtArms'', Creator/TerryPratchett

->'''Robin Hood:''' (Hiding below monks) [[WithCatlikeTread Excuse me, could you lend me a hand? You see, I'm nearly safe,]] [[LampshadeHanging but I thought I'd do something truly foolish instead and get myself killed]].
->'''Evil Monk:''' Brother, quickly, bring some rocks! There's an intruder below!
-->-- ''VideoGame/ConquestsOfTheLongbow''

->''You're dumb, the song, now die''
->''You're dead, because, you're dumb''
->''Oh wait, you're still, alive''
->''You're still, no dumb, the less''
-->-- '''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXVXyZi-fN0 The Dumb Song]]''', ''Music/{{Psychostick}}''

->''"[[DuckSeasonRabbitSeason He does]] '''so''' have to [[PronounTrouble shoot me now]]! I demand that you shoot me now!"''
-->-- '''Daffy Duck''', ''WesternAnimation/RabbitSeasoning''

->''"[[DuckSeasonRabbitSeason I say it's duck season.]] [[JugglingLoadedGuns And I say fire!]]"''
-->-- '''Daffy Duck''', ''WesternAnimation/RabbitFire''

'''Players:''' [[SarcasmMode Cool! Cool! I'm gonna die!]]

->"''Defective'' microchips? I like the sound of that!"

->'''Brian Griffin''': Who the hell buys a novelty fire extinguisher?\\
'''Peter Griffin''': Someone who cares enough about physical comedy to [[InferredHolocaust put his whole family at serious risk]].

->"So, they decide to play Blind Man's Bluff, where they turn out all the lights, drink a lot of beer, and roam around the house; a.k.a the easiest setup for a slasher film ever. The only way they could make this easier for the killer is if they killed ''themselves''!"
-->--'''WebOriginal/TheCinemaSnob''', ''The Mutilator'' (1985)

->'''Fry''': Wait. I know where we can get beeswax. From those giant space bees that nearly killed us, and we swore we'd never go back there.
->'''Farnsworth''': Let's go back there!

-> '''Sonic''': Cool, it's raining fire!\\
'''Players''': [[SarcasmMode Cool! Cool! I'm gonna die!]]

-> "... And as little as one month. Assuming the moron intends to give a two hour speech in a gale with no coat or hat. For more information, consult ''WilliamHenryHarrison, Idiot of Tippecanoe''."

-> '''Mach''': Hang on, I'm getting a strange energy reading.\\
'''Ops''': '''Do not touch the artifact! Direct orders from Dostya!'''\\
'''Mach''': It'll just take a second.

-> '''Iori Yagami''': Geez, sorry you guys! There's no cure for stupidity!

-> ''"You remember what daddy always said. That God gave you a big sister instead of a brain."''

->'''Zeke''': The average human lifespan is seventy years.\\
'''Embla''': I see.\\
'''Zeke''': Heh. Except Ethan. If you run the data, his life expectancy comes out to ''negative'' forty years.

-->-- [[http://web.archive.org/web/20080212094700/http://atrocities.primaryerror.net/rahowasucks.html This review of Racial Holy War]]''.

->'''Moiraine''': "DO NOT go out into Shadar Logoth, or touch anything!"\\
'''Mat''': "Let's go out into Shadar Logoth and touch things!"\\
'''Rand''' and '''Perrin''': "Good idea."

->Stupidity is the only natural capital crime.

->'''Ray''': Why would I be nervous?\\
'''Lindesfarne''': Because... I'm an insectivore.\\
'''Ray''': What's an insectivore?\\
'''Lindesfarne''': (whispers to Tammy) [[LampshadeHanging Not too big on self-preservation, is he]]?\\
'''Ray''': What's self-preservation?

-> '''Klingon Transporter Operator''': I do not deserve to live.
-> '''Kirk''': Fine, I'll kill you later.

-> ''I mean like, dangerously, not-able-to-function-on-his-own level of stupid, like, if you were to give this guy a cup of applesauce and a spoon, would probably drown-level stupid.''
-->-- [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiller]]

-> '''Tom Servo:''' "Hey, the cop never said anything about doing intensely stupid things!"

->''Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'.''

-> ''Pages one and two had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier-mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it.''

-> '''Thief''': Okay, Fighter, tie this rope to something sturdy so we can climb across\\
'''Fighter''' [off-panel]: Done!\\
'''Black Mage''': Why is the rope on fire?\\
'''Fighter''': I tied it to the lava! Y'know, so we could find it when we're done here.

->''Thoth sprang up, blood mounting darkly to his face, while his eyes flamed with the stunned fury of a man who suddenly realizes [[TooDumbToLive the full depths of a fool's swinish stupidity]].''

->''He said he wouldn't be my friend if I didn't tell him!''

->''Cartman, you've stooped to the level of a full-fledged retard.''

->''I suppose from a creative standpoint, some characters deserve to die. Ones that lack common sense or even basic survival instinct.''

->'''Meatwad''' ([[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext holding a scorpion]]): I'll eat it... if you eat it.
->'''Shake''': All right, deal! Wait a minute... how are you gonna eat it after I eat it?
->'''Meatwad''': Look, you eat it, then I go back in time to before the time that you eat it, then I'll eat it.[[note]] They actually do have a time machine in this episode, but it's pretty clear Meatwad's lying.[[/note]]
->'''Shake''': Okay.
-->''Later''
->'''Frylock''': What's wrong with Shake?
->'''Meatwad''': Oh, he's dead. Dumbass ate a scorpion.
-->-- ''AquaTeenHungerForce''

->''Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Ankh]]-[[WretchedHive Morpork]], but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of [[WretchedHive the Shades]] was suicide. Asking for a short beer in a [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame dwarf]] bar was suicide. Saying "[[SiliconBasedLife Got rocks in your head]]?" to a [[AllTrollsAreDifferent troll]] was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful.''

->'''Robin Hood''': (Hiding below monks) [[WithCatlikeTread Excuse me, could you lend me a hand? You see, I'm nearly safe,]] [[LampshadeHanging but I thought I'd do something truly foolish instead and get myself killed]].
->'''Evil monk''': Brother, quickly, bring some rocks! There's an intruder below!
-->--''VideoGame/ConquestsOfTheLongbow''

->''[[DuckSeasonRabbitSeason He does]] '''so''' have to [[PronounTrouble shoot me now]]! I demand that you shoot me now!''

->''[[DuckSeasonRabbitSeason I say it's duck season.]] [[JugglingLoadedGuns And I say fire!]]''