History Quotes / TheProblemWithLicensedGames

->"Hey, comic books, why don't you stop hopping into that big cold film industry bed and come snuggle up by the fire with games on more permanent basis? You know all he can offer is {{Film/Green Lantern}}s and {{Film/Catwoman}}s and he's just gonna waft you out like a dutch oven once you stop making money. ''We'll'' never ask you to change for us! The ''[[VideoGame/BatmanArkhamSeries Arkham]]'' games will let you have all the dumb villains you can come up with! Aw, don't be like that, baby, ''{{VideoGame/Superman 64}}'' '''was years ago!'''"

->"I understand that [[TheNineties back then]], if it had a '''face''', they made a frickin' game out of it, but really? ''HomeImprovement: THE GAME''? I mean, for shit's sake, have some restraint! That's about as good an idea as making a FirstPersonShooter out of ''SisterSister''."

->''"You know, I should have been more careful when I bought this game. I forgot the cardinal rule of movie tie-in games. It's that they always, '''''always''''', suck. Especially when it's made twenty years after the fact!"''

->''"Video games based on movies are almost universally terrible, we all know that. The studios want them to be commercials, the game designers haven't seen the movie yet and the only people who buy them are confused grandparents late for a birthday party."''

->"Wow, they sure followed the movie closely! You know the plot: A special forces team, led by Alan "Dutch" Schaefer dressed in [[RealMenWearPink hot pink]], go on a mission to rescue hostages in Central America. They are hunted by piranha balloons, plants that spit fireballs, Lolos (or [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Shyguys]]), chickens with skull masks, giant bacteria, {{Metroid}}s, and birds that crap blood."
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''Film/{{Predator}}'' (NES)

->"''Why did [[Creator/LJNToys LJN]] have to make every NES movie adaptation? Couldn't they have given somebody else a try??! No! They wanted to incorporate the entire spectrum of awfulness:\\
Purple for putrid gameplay,\\
Blue for [[Horrible/{{Music}} bad musical abominations]],\\
Green for graphical farts and garlic,\\
Yellow for [[AdaptationDecay piss-poor lack of loyalty to source material]],\\
Orange for "orange you a fuckin' idiot",\\
And red for high stress/anger-inducing masochism!\\
Put that all together, you got all the colors of the shit rainbow. Hooray, LJN.''"
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''Film/BackToTheFuture revisited.''

->''"So when we heard that a ''Film/{{Ghostbusters}}'' game for Nintendo came out, we were so excited we shit our pants! ... It was two of our favorite things coming together. Should've been like bread and butter. But more like dead skunk and dog shit!"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'''

->"I understand that [[TheNineties back then]], if it had a '''face''', they made a frickin' game out of it, but really? ''HomeImprovement: THE GAME''? I mean, for shit's sake, have some restraint! That's about as good an idea as making a FirstPersonShooter out of ''SisterSister''.

->''People loved {{Wayne's World}}. They loved the skit, they loved the movie, so they should have loved the game, right? No. We were tools enough to jerk our pelvises at nearby women and scream, "Schwing!" for a couple years, but we weren't tools enough to buy this.''

->"''Why did LJN have to make every NES movie adaptation? Couldn't they have given somebody else a try??! No! They wanted to incorporate the entire spectrum of awfulness:\\
[[color:780528:Purple]] for putrid gameplay,\\
[[color:0f5aa0:Blue]] for [[Horrible/{{Music}} bad musical abominations]],\\
[[color:4b821e:Green]] for graphical farts and garlic,\\
[[color:f0d728:Yellow]] for [[AdaptationDecay piss-poor lack of loyalty to source material]],\\
[[color:e65f19:Orange]] for "orange you a fuckin' idiot",\\
And [[color:e60f14:red]] for high stress/anger-inducing masochism!\\

->''"Video games based on movies are almost universally terrible, we all know that. The studios want them to be commercials, the game designers haven't seen the movie yet and the only people who buy them are confused grandparents late for a birthday party."''
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19333_5-video-game-adaptations-that-missed-point-movie.html "5 Video Game Adaptations That Missed the Point of the Movie"]]

-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''BackToTheFuture revisited.''

-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''{{Film/Predator}}'' (NES)

->''"So when we heard that a ''{{Ghostbusters}}'' game for Nintendo came out, we were so excited we shit our pants! ... It was two of our favorite things coming together. Should've been like bread and butter. But more like dead skunk and dog shit!"''

-->-- '''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment''', on ''VideoGame/TheThing''.

->"Wow, they sure followed the movie closely! You know the plot: A special forces team, led by Alan "Dutch" Schaefer dressed in [[RealMenWearPink hot pink]], go on a mission to rescue hostages in Central America. They are hunted by piranha balloons, plants that spit fireballs, [[TheLegendOfZelda Lolos]] (or [[{{Mario}} Shyguys]]), chickens with skull masks, giant bacteria, {{Metroid}}s, and birds that crap blood."

->"''Wow, they sure followed the movie closely! You know the plot: A special forces team, led by Alan "Dutch" Schaefer dressed in [[RealMenWearPink hot pink]], go on a mission to rescue hostages in Central America. They are hunted by piranha balloons, plants that spit fireballs, [[TheLegendOfZelda Lolos]] (or [[{{Mario}} Shyguys]]), chickens with skull masks, giant bacteria, {{Metroid}}s, and birds that crap blood."

->"''There is clearly no thought process going on behind this miserable mess. Just make a game based on a popular movie and shit it into the stores.''"
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''WaynesWorld.''

-->-- '''Strong Bad''', ''[[StrongBadsCoolGameForAttractivePeople 8-Bit Is Enough]], a Licensed video game itself.''

-->-- '''WebOriginal/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''WaynesWorld.''

-->-- '''WebOriginal/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''BackToTheFuture revisited.''

-->-- '''WebOriginal/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'''

-->-- '''TheSpoonyExperiment''', on ''VideoGame/TheThing''.

-->-- '''TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''WaynesWorld.''

-->-- '''TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''BackToTheFuture revisited.''

-->-- '''TheAngryVideoGameNerd'''

--> '''TheSpoonyExperiment''', on ''VideoGame/TheThing''.

--> '''TheSpoonyExperiment''', on ''VidoeGame/TheThing''.

--> '''TheSpoonyExperiment''', on TheThing: The Game.