History Quotes / MerchandiseDriven

'''Mike:''' ...just our overpriced action figures!

->Film/MacAndMe ''is the result of some Hollywood producer watching'' [[Film/ETTheExtraterrestrial E.T.]] ''[[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs through a mist of cocaine dust]] and saying to himself, "Hey, [[FollowTheLeader what if E.T. ate Skittles instead of Reese's Pieces and we changed his name to McDonald's?]] [=McDonald's=] would give us money for that, right?" He then came up with the alien's design by sketching Yoda ears on an expired condom, and the rest is obscure cinematic history.''

-->--'''''{{Film/Dogma}}'''

->'''Bartleby''': Mooby the Golden Calf. Created by Nancy Goidruff -a former kindergarten teacher - in 1989 to fill a gap in the Saturday morning schedule on local network K-REL. Bought by the Complex Corporation in 1981, and broadcast nationally as the ''The Mooby Fun-Time Hour'', it picked up a large following of children, ages three to eight, and [[LongList spawns sixteen records, two theatrical films, eight prime-time specials, a library of priced-to-own video cassettes, and bicoastal theme parks dubbed 'MoobyWorld'.]] Did I miss anything?\\

->''Bartleby'': Mooby the Golden Calf. Created by Nancy Goidruff -a former kindergarten teacher - in 1989 to fill a gap in the Saturday morning schedule on local network K-REL. Bought by the Complex Corporation in 1981, and broadcast nationally as the ''The Mooby Fun-Time Hour'', it picked up a large following of children, ages three to eight, and [[LongList spawns sixteen records, two theatrical films, eight prime-time specials, a library of priced-to-own video cassettes, and bicoastal theme parks dubbed 'MoobyWorld'.]] Did I miss anything?\\

-> To understand ''Franchise/{{Transformers}}'' fiction, it is important to understand that it exists '''[[http://tfwiki.net/wiki/To_sell_toys to sell toys]]'''. Hasbro and Takara Tomy are toy companies, and they are primarily interested in continuing to sell toys to children and, yes, even "adults". The cartoons, comic books, etc., mostly exist to make this happen. To be sure, they normally make a profit in their own right, but this is regarded as mere gravy.

->The "to sell toys" effect often distorts the fiction in interesting ways. Primarily, since you can't usually sell someone the same toy twice, [=HasTak=] constantly introduces new toys, and often requires the creators of the fiction to introduce the new characters into ongoing storylines. Older characters (whose toys are no longer being sold) are shoved aside to make room.
-->-- Wiki/TFWikiDotNet


->'''Optimus Prime:''' The humans should not have to pay for our mistakes... \\
'''Mike:''' ...just our overpriced action figures!
-->-- '''Mike J. Nelson''', ''{{Rifftrax}}''

->'''Ass''': HYPNOSNOT, I CHOOSE YOU!\\
'''Crock''': Why did you pick that particular Hokéycon to battle with?! Because it can absorb high damage?\\
'''Ass''': Because the last quarterly report showed an 18% dip in Hypnosnot sales! Luckily, our viewers are sheep! A little TV exposure should boost earnings back up!
-->-- ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'', [[{{Pokemon}} "Hokéycon"]]

-> "Buy all our playsets and toys!"
-->-- '''''WebAnimation/CheatCommandos''' theme song''

-> "I am selling this Gundam!"
-->-- '''[[Anime/AfterWarGundamX Garrod Ran]]''', [[MemeticMutation Bandai Sales Rep.]]

->'''The Nerd:''' We know what the real message is... \\
'''Both:''' BUY OUR FUCKING PRODUCTS!
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic Critic]] and [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Nerd]]:''' ''[[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/8124-cntmnt The Making of "Coming Out Of Their Shells"]]''

->"New toy not stop Hulk!"

->"Daisy-head burgers and Daisy-head drinks,
-> Daisy-head stockings, and Daisy-head sinks,
-> Daisy head buttons and Daisy head bows,
-> Mayzie was famous,
-> The star of her shows."
-->--''Daisy Head Mayzie'' by DrSeuss

->'''Calvin's Dad:''' Our lives are filled with machines designed to reduce work and increase leisure. We have more leisure than any man has ever had. And what do we do with this leisure? Educate ourselves? Take up new interests? Explore? Invent? Create?\\
'''Calvin:''' Dad, I can't hear this commercial.\\
-Calvin is thrown outside.-\\
'''Calvin:''' If it were up to my dad, leisure would be as bad as work.
-->-- ''CalvinAndHobbes''

->'''[[RunningGag Calvin's Dad:]]''' How can you stand these cartoons? They're just half-hour commercials for toys. And when they're not boring, they're preachy. And these characters don't even MOVE. They just stand around blinking! What kind of cartoon is THAT?\\
'''Calvin:''' Meet my dad, the GeneSiskel of Saturday morning TV.
-->-- ''CalvinAndHobbes''

->'''[[AuthorAvatar Calvin's Dad:]]''' Watching a Christmas special?\\
'''Calvin:''' Yep.\\
'''Calvin's Dad:''' Another show extolling love and peace interrupted every seven minutes by commercials extolling greed and waste. I hate to think what you're learning from this.\\
'''Calvin:''' I'm learning I need my own TV so I can watch someplace else.
-->-- ''CalvinAndHobbes''

->'''Jason:''' Honestly, what do you think of my strip?\\
'''Peter:''' Well, it's not particularly funny...\\
'''Peter:''' And it's not particularly well-drawn...\\
'''Peter:''' In fact, it's probably the lamest thing I've ever seen.\\
'''Jason:''' But will it sell T-shirts?\\
'''Peter:''' My, but you do have pure motives...
-->-- ''{{Foxtrot}}''

-> Do you think the world is ready for cartoon-shaped Ty-D-Bol tablets?
-->-- '''Jason Fox''', ''{{Foxtrot}}''

-->'''Jason:''' Honestly, what do you think of my strip?\\

-->-- '''''[[WebAnimation/CheatCommandos]]''' theme song''

-->-- '''''[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Cheat Commandos]]''' theme song''

-> To understand ''Franchise/{{Transformers}} fiction, it is important to understand that it exists '''[[http://tfwiki.net/wiki/To_sell_toys to sell toys]]'''. Hasbro and Takara Tomy are toy companies, and they are primarily interested in continuing to sell toys to children and, yes, even "adults". The cartoons, comic books, etc., mostly exist to make this happen. To be sure, they normally make a profit in their own right, but this is regarded as mere gravy.

-> To understand [[{{Franchise/Transformers}} Transformers]] fiction, it is important to understand that it exists '''to sell toys'''. Hasbro and Takara Tomy are toy companies, and they are primarily interested in continuing to sell toys to children and, yes, even "adults". The cartoons, comic books, etc., mostly exist to make this happen. To be sure, they normally make a profit in their own right, but this is regarded as mere gravy.

-->-- [[http://tfwiki.net/wiki/To_sell_toys Transformers Wiki]]

-->-- [[http://transformers.wikia.com/wiki/To_sell_toys Transformers Wiki]]

->The "to sell toys" effect often distorts the fiction in interesting ways. Primarily, since you can't usually sell someone the same toy twice, HasTak constantly introduces new toys, and often requires the creators of the fiction to introduce the new characters into ongoing storylines. Older characters (whose toys are no longer being sold) are shoved aside to make room.

-->-- [[http://transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page Transformers Wiki]]

-->-- ''MadMagazine'', [[{{Pokemon}} "Hokéycon"]]

-->-- '''''[[WebOriginal/HomestarRunner Cheat Commandos]]''' theme song''

-->--'''[[WebOriginal/TheNostalgiaCritic Critic]] and [[WebOriginal/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Nerd]]:''' ''[[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/8124-cntmnt The Making of "Coming Out Of Their Shells"]]''

-->-- '''''[[HomestarRunner Cheat Commandos]]''' theme song''

-->--'''[[TheNostalgiaCritic Critic]] and [[TheAngryVideoGameNerd Nerd]]:''' ''[[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/8124-cntmnt The Making of "Coming Out Of Their Shells"]]''

-->-- '''[[AfterWarGundamX Garrod Ran]]''', [[MemeticMutation Bandai Sales Rep.]]

-->-- '''[[AfterWarGundamX Garrod Ran]]''', [[MemeticMutation Bandai Sales Rep.]]

-->-- '''''[[HomestarRunner Cheat Commandos]]''' theme song''

->'''[[strike:Ash]] Ass''': HYPNOSNOT, I CHOOSE YOU!\\
'''[[strike:Brock]] Crock''': Why did you pick that particular Hokéycon to battle with?! Because it can absorb high damage?\\

->'''The Nerd:''' We know what the real message is... \\
'''Both:''' BUY OUR FUCKING PRODUCTS!
-->--'''[[TheNostalgiaCritic Critic]] and [[TheAngryVideoGameNerd Nerd]]:''' ''[[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/8124-cntmnt The Making of "Coming Out Of Their Shells"]]''

-->-- '''''[[HomestarRunner Cheat Commandos]]''' Theme Song''

-->-- ''MadMagazine'', [[{{Pokemon}} "Hokéycon"]]

-->-- ''MadMagazine'', [[{{Pokemon}} "Hokéycon"]]

->"How can ''{{Transformers}}'' possibly 'sell out'? It ''started'' as a 20-minute toy commercial."
-->'''Ethan''', ''[[http://shortpacked.com/comic/book-9/06-revenge-of-the-fallen/soldout/ Shortpacked!]]''

->'''Ass''': HYPNOSNOT, I CHOOSE YOU!\\
'''Crock''': Why did you pick that particular Hokéycon to battle with?! Because it can absorb high damage?\\