History Quotes / MST3kMantra

-->-- '''Prince Naveen''', ''Disney/ThePrincessAndTheFrog''

->''"I have hired a panel of 10 to 12 physicists to analyze this problem, and they all say the same thing: 'It's a cartoon show, leave me alone.'"''

"Shut the hell up, Connie"

->''"If you need the security a strong continuity provides, you may not want to seek psychological security in ''Franchise/StarWars'', ''Franchise/StarTrek'', or any other science fiction series (or computer game continuity). There's holes, gaps, and other problems -- my suggestion to you would be to just try to relax a little and enjoy the escapism. When escapism becomes work, an obssession [sic], or is just stressing you out in general, then it's not doing its job and you need to take a step back and take a breather."''

->"''The ''Franchise/IndianaJones'' movies are all entitled to some dumb moments. They recapture the spirit of the old adventure films that came out during The Great Depression and World War II. Audiences were looking to [[ItsNotSupposedToWinOscars escape the real world and forget about their troubles]]. And that's what movies are all about: entertainment. But today, audiences are far more critical, have less imagination, and aren't as willing to suspend their disbelief; and that is the death of cinema."''

-->-- '''Thomas F. Wilson''', [[http://youtu.be/iwY5o2fsG7Y "Biff's Question Song"]], about questions people ask him most frequently about ''Film/BackToTheFuture''.

->''"If you're wondering how [Joel/Mike] eats and breathes\\

-->-- '''Dean Cain''', ''Series/LoisAndClark'' DVD commentary track

->'''[[IdenticalGrandson Cornelius]] [[Creator/JustinTimberlake Timberlake]]''': I actually dream of a day when my great-great-grandson will bring [[TitleDrop sexy back]].

->'''[[IdenticalGrandson Cornelius Timberlake]]''': I actually dream of a day when my great-great-grandson will bring [[TitleDrop sexy back]].

->'''Austin Powers''': Wait a tick. Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go back and visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to -- oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.\\

-->-- '''James Rolfe''', Cinemassacre's "Top 10 Dumbest Indiana Jones Moments"

'''Basil Exposition:''' I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself. [''Looks at the camera''] [[BreakingTheFourthWall That goes for you all, too.]]

-->-- '''[[http://deadspin.com/one-day-well-be-too-lazy-to-watch-football-1679448981 Drew Magary]]''', "Gregg Easterbrook is a Haughty Dipshit"

->"''''Smallville'' is really a show that [[INeedAFreakingDrink demands lubrication]] to go down smooth."''

And other science facts, (la la la)\\

->'''Austin Powers:''' Wait a tick. Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go back and visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to -- oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.
->'''Basil Exposition:''' I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself. ''(looks at the camera)'' [[BreakingTheFourthWall That goes for you all, too]].

->'''Matt Burch:''' Well, first you have to explain how the crew of a Corvette could storm a cruiser...\\
'''[=AndrewWelc=]:''' Matt, it's a game, we don't have to explain everything! :)\\

-->-- ''VideoGame/EscapeVelocity'', "EV - A Blast From the Past (portions of an AOL chat room log)" [[note]]The game also contains parodies of the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' ThemeTune.[[/note]]

->'''Bolin:''' Wait! You like that? It didn't make any sense! [...] Stars are magic fairy dust? Are you guys crazy? Are you crazy?\\
'''Baraz:''' It's just a mover. Don't over-think it. It's like a ride.\\
'''Varrick:''' Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, kid!

->'''Gregg Easterbrook:''' In the ''[[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Lord of the Rings]]'' movies and their endless spinoffs, everybody's fighting over a magical ring. In ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy'' — No. 1 movie of 2014 by U.S. gross — everybody's fighting over a magical stone. Finding and possessing a small mystical object is the MacGuffin of many box-office smash flicks. OK, they are movies. But how many times in the real world has a single small object controlled the fates of millions?
->'''Drew Magary:''' Never! Totally ruined the movies for me. And to think, I cared about this magic 'ring' when no such magic rings occur in nature! And that spaceship in ''[[Film/CloseEncountersOfTheThirdKind Close Encounters]]''! How many times have YOU seen a spaceship in real life? Laughable... I'm gonna hire someone to do their taxes on fucking camera and then send it to Gregggggg for his approval. It'll be his favorite movie ever. WHAT AN ABSOLUTE PENIS.

->"''''Series/Smallville'' is really a show that [[INeedAFreakingDrink demands lubrication]] to go down smooth."''

->"''So, a recent strip involving Davan explaining how condoms work to my alternate persona with a banana upset some readers... because it was 'unrealistic' for a cat to use a condom. Seriously? This comic involves a jelly cat, subterranean alligators and a core cast that should have been arrested several times over for assault and '''THAT'S''' bothering people? Of course that's not realistic! This is a comic."''

->''"Science has an explanation for everything. Unfortunately, movies do not."
-->-- '''Doc Brown''' in a Mad Magazine parody of ''Film/BackToTheFuture'', in response to Marty pointing out a plot hole.

->"I asked [[Creator/MichaelBay Michael]] why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers, and he told me to shut the fuck up... so, that was the end of that talk."
-->-- '''Ben Affleck''' commentary on ''Film/{{Armageddon}}''

->''"'Was that real manure?' No, it wasn't. 'Was that real manure?' No! 'Was that real manure?' '''It's a movie!''', stop asking me the question!"''
-->-- '''Thomas F. Wilson''', [[http://youtu.be/iwY5o2fsG7Y "Biff's Question Song"]], about his most frequently-asked ''Film/BackToTheFuture'' questions.

->''If you're wondering how [Joel/Mike] eats and breathes\\

Just repeat to yourself '''"It's just a show,\\
I should really just relax."'''''
-->--[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 From the]] {{Trope Namer|s}}

->''If we shadows have offended,\\

And Robin shall restore amends.''

->I guess you have to fill in the rest of the holes yourself.
--> '''Caveman''', ''Literature/{{Holes}}''

->Relax kid, it's just a movie.

-->--''Film/AustinPowers: The Spy Who Shagged Me''

->'''Matt Burch''': Well, first you have to explain how the crew of a Corvette could storm a cruiser...\\
'''[=AndrewWelc=]''': Matt, it's a game, we don't have to explain everything! :)\\

->You know, if you're going to let every little thing bother you, it's going to be a very long night!
-->--Prince Naveen, ''Disney/ThePrincessAndTheFrog''

!!!RealLife
->It's only a movie, and after all, we're all grossly overpaid.
-->--'''Creator/AlfredHitchcock'''

->Calm down, it's only wrestling.
-->--'''[[Wrestling/DonCallis Cyrus]]''', ''Wrestling/{{ECW}}''

->If you need the security a strong continuity provides, you may not want to seek psychological security in ''StarWars'', ''StarTrek'', or any other science fiction series (or computer game continuity). There's holes, gaps, and other problems -- my suggestion to you would be to just try to relax a little and enjoy the escapism. When escapism becomes work, an obssession [sic], or is just stressing you out in general, then it's not doing its job and you need to take a step back and take a breather.
-->--Creator/ChrisAvellone

->The ''Franchise/IndianaJones'' movies are all entitled to some dumb moments. They recapture the spirit of the old adventure films that came out during The Great Depression and World War II. Audiences were looking to [[ItsNotSupposedToWinOscars escape the real world and forget about their troubles]]. And that's what movies are all about: entertainment. But today, audiences are far more critical, have less imagination, and aren't as willing to suspend their disbelief; and that is the death of cinema.

->In the ''[[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Lord of the Rings]]'' movies and their endless spinoffs, everybody's fighting over a magical ring. In ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy'' — No. 1 movie of 2014 by U.S. gross — everybody's fighting over a magical stone. Finding and possessing a small mystical object is the MacGuffin of many box-office smash flicks. OK, they are movies. But how many times in the real world has a single small object controlled the fates of millions?
-->--'''Gregg Easterbrook'''

->Never! Totally ruined the movies for me. And to think, I cared about this magic “ring” when no such magic rings occur in nature! And that spaceship in ''[[Film/CloseEncountersOfTheThirdKind Close Encounters]]''! How many times have YOU seen a spaceship in real life? Laughable...I’m gonna hire someone to do their taxes on fucking camera and then send it to Gregggggg for his approval. It’ll be his favorite movie ever. WHAT AN ABSOLUTE PENIS.
-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/one-day-well-be-too-lazy-to-watch-football-1679448981 Drew Magary]]''', "Gregg Easterbrook is a Haughty Dipshit"

->''Smallville'' is really a show that [[INeedAFreakingDrink demands lubrication]] to go down smooth.
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-10-8-abandoned/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Abandoned")

->So a recent strip involving Davan explaining how condoms work to my alternate persona with a banana upset some readers... because it was "unrealistic" for a cat to use a condom. Seriously? This comic involves a jelly cat, subterranean alligators and a core cast that should have been arrested several times over for assault and '''THAT'S''' bothering people? Of course that's not realistic! This is a comic.
-->--'''[[http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp09022010.shtml Choo-Choo Bear II]] ''', ''SomethingPositive''

->''"It's a fanfiction. A'' parody ''fanfiction. Just relax. Try not to think about it too hard."''
-->-- Author's note in '''Fanfic/EbonyDarknessDementiaRavenWayVsCanon'''

->"Science has an explanation for everything. Unfortunately, movies do not."
-->Doc Brown in a Mad Magazine parody of ''Film/BackToTheFuture'', in response to Marty pointing out a plot hole.

-->'''Ben Affleck''' commentary on ''Film/{{Armageddon}}''

->"I asked [[Creator/MichaelBay Michael]] why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers, and he told me to shut the fuck up... so, that was the end of that talk"

->''"'Was that real manure?', No, it wasn't. 'Was that real manure?' No!, 'Was that real manure?' '''It's a movie!''', stop asking me the question!"''

->'''Basil Exposition:''' I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself. ''(looks directly at the audience)'' [[BreakingTheFourthWall That goes for you all, too]].

->'''Austin Powers:''' Wait a tick. Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go back and visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to - oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.
->'''Basil Exposition:''' I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself. [[BreakingTheFourthWall That goes for you all, too]].

->"I asked [[Creator/MichaelBay Michael]] why it was easier to teach oil drillers how to be astronauts than teach astronauts how to be oil drillers, and he told me to shut the fuck up, so... that was the end of that talk"

-->Ben Affkeck commentary on ''Film/{{Armageddon}}''

->"I asked [[Creator/MichaelBay Michael]] why it was easier to teach oil drillers how to be astronauts than teach astronauts how to be oil drillers, and he told me to shut the fuck up, so... that was the end of that ralk"

->Never! Totally ruined the movies for me. And to think, I cared about this magic “ring” when no such magic rings occur in nature! And that spaceship in ''[[Film/CloseEncountersOfTheThirdKind Close Encounters]]''! How many times have YOU seen a spaceship in real life? Laughable.