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Quotes: MST3K Mantra
If you're wondering how [Joel/Mike] eats and breathes
And other science facts, (la la la)
Just repeat to yourself "It's just a show,
I should really just relax."

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
Puck, last lines of A Midsummer Night's Dream

"I guess you have to fill in the rest of the holes yourself."
Caveman, Holes

"Relax kid, it's just a movie."
Ham Salad, Hardware Wars

Austin Powers: Wait a tick. Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go back and visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to - oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.
Basil Exposition: I suggest you don't worry about those things and just enjoy yourself. That goes for you all, too.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Matt Burch: Well, first you have to explain how the crew of a Corvette could storm a cruiser...
AndrewWelc: Matt, it's a game, we don't have to explain everything! :)
Matt Burch: Oh yeah. :)
Escape Velocity, "EV - A Blast From the Past (portions of an AOL chat room log)" note 

"You know, if you're going to let every little thing bother you, it's going to be a very long night!
—Prince Naveen, The Princess and the Frog

"It's only a movie, and after all, we're all grossly overpaid."

"Calm down, it's only wrestling."
Cyrus, ECW

"If you need the security a strong continuity provides, you may not want to seek psychological security in Star Wars, Star Trek, or any other science fiction series (or computer game continuity). There's holes, gaps, and other problems — my suggestion to you would be to just try to relax a little and enjoy the escapism. When escapism becomes work, an obssession [sic], or is just stressing you out in general, then it's not doing its job and you need to take a step back and take a breather."

"Final words: The Indiana Jones movies are all entitled to some dumb moments. They recapture the spirit of the old adventure films that came out during The Great Depression and World War II. Audiences were looking to escape the real world and forget about their troubles. And that's what movies are all about: entertainment. But today, audiences are far more critical, have less imagination, and aren't as willing to suspend their disbelief; and that is the death of cinema."
James Rolfe, Cinemassacre's "Top 10 Dumbest Indiana Jones Moments"

"Smallville is really a show that demands lubrication to go down smooth."
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Abandoned")

"Let's face it, the extreme amount of crap he's caught for making this movie is more than a little over the top, and in some cases, borderline psychotic. At the end of the day, all he did was make a bad movie. Genuine venom should be reserved for actual crimes like mass murder, putting lettuce on a breakfast sandwich, or eating New York-style pizza with a fork.You fold it a little and then eat it! What the hell is hard about that?"
The Agony Booth, Batman & Robin recap supplement

So a recent strip involving Davan explaining how condoms work to my alternate persona with a banana upset some readers... because it was "unrealistic" for a cat to use a condom. Seriously? This comic involves a jelly cat, subterranean alligators and a core cast that should have been arrested several times over for assault and THAT'S bothering people? Of course that's not realistic! This is a comic.

"It's a fanfiction. A parody fanfiction. Just relax. Try not to think about it too hard."

"Science has an explanation for everything. Unfortunately, movies do not."
Doc Brown in a Mad Magazine parody of Back to the Future, in response to Marty pointing out a plot hole.

"'Was that real manure?', No, it wasn't. 'Was that real manure?' No!, 'Was that real manure?' It's a movie!, stop asking me the question!"
Thomas F. Wilson, "Biff's Question Song", about his most frequently-asked Back to the Future questions.

"I've learned through experience not to question Disney logic. You will never get a satisfactory answer and you will only be left with confusion."

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