History Quotes / LethalChef

->'''RIMURU'':: Don't tell me that this is going to be that overused trope where the seemingly-skilled hot woman turns out to suck at cooking!

->'''RIMURU'':: Why, trope, why?!

->RIMURU: Don't tell me that this is going to be that overused trope where the seemingly-skilled hot woman turns out to suck at cooking!
->SHION: *brings out the food, and it is purple, oozing, and emanating an evil miasma*
->RIMERU: Why, trope, why?!

-->SHION: *brings out the food, and it is purple, oozing, and emanating an evil miasma*
-->RIMERU: Why, trope, why?!

-->RIMERU: Don't tell me that this is going to be that overused trope where the seemingly-skilled hot woman turns out to suck at cooking!

-> ''"Terrible, isn't it? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most revolting and one being almost edible, I believe that rating this recipe would require the use of exponents."''
-->-- '''Invidia''', ''[[Literature/CodexAlera First Lord's Fury]]'', on the Vord Queen's cooking

-->--''Life Of A Teenage Body-Snatcher''

[[folder: Film]]

-> '''Hyde:''' (H-Hell no, it's not! This is DEFINITELY not curry... There's no way. The pressure coursing out of this dish... It's as if the Hollow Night was simmered in a pot and served up in a plate... Screw the flavor guarantee, I just want to know if I'll survive.)

->What that 'something' was defied description. It didn't sit on the plate so much as squat malevolently, hating all and being hated by all...
-->-- '''Narrator''', describing Noel Vermilion's cooking, ''Franchise/BlazBlue''

->(The pressure coursing out of this dish... It's as if the Hollow Night was simmered in a pot and served up in a plate...)
-->-- '''[[VideoGame/UnderNightInBirth Hide Kido]]''', describing [[Franchise/BlazBlue Noel]] and [[VideoGame/Persona4Arena Yukiko]]'s cooking, ''VideoGame/BlazBlueCrossTagBattle''

->They say that in the army,
The biscuts are mighty fine,
One fell off the table,

''Nanako looks at you expectantly...\\

->'''Drake:''' I can see a dark river. Where will it lead me?
->'''Linus:''' To hell, man! Obviously!
->'''Lucy:''' This is what happens to anyone who eats [Ricardo]'s cake. It touched you to the depths of your soul.
-->''VideoGame/TimeAndEternity'', after a bite of Ricardulce cake.

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongbobSquarepants'', showing what happens when you use ExactWords.

-><scytale> man, i suck at cooking\\
<scytale> was cooking something, piece of food fell on the floor\\
<scytale> dog ate it up, then threw up
-->-- ''Website/BashOrg''

->''"Guy’s restaurant should be shut down and he should be prosecuted to the furthest extent of the law for making toasted marshmallows taste like fish. That’s like a dream wrapped in a nightmare. That sounds like something you’d find on the floor of a strip club in Thailand after the strippers ran out of ping pong balls."''
-->-- '''[[http://dlisted.com/2012/11/14/guy-fieris-new-restaurant-gourmet-wonderland/ Michael K.]]''', [[Creator/FoodNetwork Guy Fieri's]] New Restaurant Is A Gourmet Wonderland"

->''"I didn't know you could burn ''juice''."''
-->-- '''Rarity''', ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''

->''"He burnt my fries!"\\
"He burnt my krabby patty!"\\
He burnt my shake!"''
-->-- Various extras, ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''

->''"We'll have to blast 'em out. They heard we feed our prisoners C rations."''
-->-- '''Bill Mauldin's''' ''Willie and Joe,'' commenting on a German bunker that has refused to surrender

->'''Lister:''' Rimmer, proper dumplings, when they are properly cooked to perfection, Rimmer, proper dumplings should not ''bounce''!
->'''Rimmer:''' True, but after the way I thought they were going to turn out they were quite superb.
->'''Lister:''' So how's the Cat?
->'''Rimmer:''' Oh, he's just sleeping off the stomach pump... He'll be all right. The lamb was [[{{Understatement}} a bit of a flop though]].
-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf''

->''"You better prepare yourself. Because this... this will be the most difficult quest yet. Supreme Kai of Time's cooking is...well, it's more destructive than any Shenron out there."''
-->-- '''Future Trunks''', ''VideoGame/DragonBallXenoverse''

->'''Helmut Spargle''': "Your meal is... acceptable."
->'''Bender''': "Then why did you only take one bite?"
->'''Helmut''': "Because my stomach is about to explode."
-->-- ''{{WesternAnimation/Futurama}}'', showing how literally Bender takes this trope.

->'''Fry''': My vision's fading! I think I'm gonna die!\\
'''Bender''': There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was ten percent less than a lethal dose.\\
'''Zoidberg''': Uh-oh. I shouldn't have had seconds.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

-><scytale> man, i suck at cooking
-><scytale> was cooking something, piece of food fell on the floor
-><scytale> dog ate it up, then threw up

->'''Hank''': How do you blow up a salad?
->'''Oscar''': Happens more than you think.
-->-- ''Series/CornerGas''

->1. Peel onion and potatoes, cutting them into appropriately-sized pieces.
->2. Pour some oil into a pot and saute the onions.
->3. When the onions become translucent, add the cut beef and potatoes and saute.
->4. After stirring to a good amount, add water, sugar, soy sauce, and salt. Let the mixture simmer.
->5. When the sauce's color changes a bit, add 45cc of sulfuric acid.
->6. After a bit of simmering, shut off the heat, and add the chloroacetic acid and potassium nitrate. Mix well, and turn on the heat again to simmer.
->7. Turn off the heat, contact a professional to process the remaining liquid in the pot, and it's done. Remember not to dirty the kitchen, as this is a rule that any chef must obey. With this meat and potato stew, that special person's tongue will definitely, definitely become addicted! You can't go wrong!

->''"Asuka's cooking isn't just bad, it's almost supernatural. When she steps into a kitchen, strange things start to happen. It's like she turns off the Earth's magnetic field."''
-->-- '''Yuuki''' (on his sister), ''Anime/EsOtherwise''

->'''Luke:''' P-Professor! There's smoke coming off this tea!\\
'''Layton:''' We may have created something that was never meant to be.\\
'''Luke:''' I'm no coward, but even I'm not brave enough to drink that stuff.\\
'''Layton:''' Well then, our next course of action is obvious. Let's seal up this recipe and never make it again.
-->-- ''VideoGame/ProfessorLaytonAndTheDiabolicalBox'', if you screw up on the tea minigame

->'''Sera:''' Hurry! Put it in your mouth before the bowl melts!
-->-- ''LightNovel/IsThisAZombie''

->'''Invidia''': Terrible, isn't it? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most revolting and one being almost edible, I believe that rating this recipe would require the use of exponents.
->'''Isana''': I suppose food does not absolutely need to taste good in order to keep one alive.
->'''Invidia''': But to keep one from committing suicide, it ''does'' need to taste better than ''this''.
-->-- ''[[Literature/CodexAlera First Lord's Fury]]'', on the Vord Queen's cooking.

->'''King Dedede''': ''(tasting samples of Kawasaki's food)'' Tasteless! Nasty! Awful! This stinks! This too! Lousy! Putrid! Rancid! TREASON!!! Kawa-yucki, I oughta fry you up like a fritter!
->'''Escargoon''': I know this came out of the oven, but it tastes like it came outta the sofa cushions!
->'''King Dedede''': There's a word for this here stuff, and it ain't "food"!

->'''Yosuke''': '''''WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?''' I mean, what kinda--*cough cough* Curry's supposed to be like "really spicy" or "kinda mild"… This just stinks! And it's gritty too! It's somehow both gritty and slimy… And it's got squishy parts in it... It's so frickin' nasty I can't swallow it!''
->'''Chie''': ''Well it just didn't mix too well... but it does offer a wide variety of textures...''
->'''Yosuke''': '''''It's nauseating!!'''''
->'''Chie''': ''Come on, it's not that bad! That's just your opinion!'' *looks at the protagonist along with Yukiko*
->'''Yosuke''': *to the protagonist* ''I'm telling you as a friend... [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Don't. Do it.]] [[SincerityMode I wouldn't even joke about trying that slop!]]''
->'''Narration''': ''You're being looked at with expectations... (... after eating the food...) ... The second you put it in your mouth, you sense that something is wrong... You can tell after one bite that it isn't edible... There's no way you can swallow it...''
->*The protagonist gets knocked out cold.*
->'''Chie''': ''We're sorry.''
->'''Yukiko''': ''Sorry...''
->'''Yosuke''': ''*sigh* What're we gonna do? Our group's the only one without food. I mean, if was even slightly edible, that'd be one thing… But I'm not taking another bite of this ''Mystery Food X''.''
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}''

->''Me-me's hamburger-olive loaf is so bad, it should be in jail.''
-->-- '''Penny,''' ''Penny from Heaven''

->'''Ranek:''' Can [the food replicator] be used to create bio-weapons?
->'''Doctor:''' Not unless you count Mr Neelix's Bolian souflee.
-->-- ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''

->Maloney was took with the colic,
->O'Donald's a pain in his head,
->[=McNaughton=] lay down on the sofa
->And he swore that he wished he was dead
->Miss Bailey went into hysterics
->And there she did wriggle and shake
->And everyone swore they were poisoned
->From eating Miss Fogarty's cake.
-->-- Final verse, "Miss Fogarty's Christmas Cake", Irish Christmas Song

->Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how.
-->-- ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'': ''Literature/SmallFavor''

->''Carl, you don't cook, you burn. You burn eggs, you burn toast. You're the only man I know who burns jello.''
-->-- '''Harriette Winslow''', ''Series/FamilyMatters'', "Baker's Dozen"

->Arthur, you’re aware the point of giving us separate meals is so that we can’t both get food poisoning? There’s really not much point if you’re just going to poison us in two different ways.
-->-- '''Douglas Richardson''', ''Radio/CabinPressure'', "Abu Dhabi"

->'''Ranma:''' Soup, Akane. How did you manage [[EpicFail to burn soup]]? You'd better hope the EPA never finds out about you...\\
'''Akane:''' You could have at least tried it!\\
'''Ranma:''' Tried it? It was on fire! The bowl was melting! And I didn't like the look of that portal the fumes were forming...\\
'''Akane:''' It was only a tiny portal. And the chanting wasn't ''that'' {{ominous|LatinChanting}}...\\
'''Ranma:''' Damnit, Akane, good cooking isn't supposed to [[BeyondTheImpossible break the laws of reality!]]
-->-- ''[[http://www.thekeep.org/~mike/ns.txt The Nameless Sequel]]'' (''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'' {{fanfic}}) by '''Mike Loader'''

->''"actually, that spaghetti from earlier...it wasn't too bad for my brother. since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible."''
-->-- '''Sans''', ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}''

->'''Sumika:''' ...What kind of food explodes when cooked, and who invented it?\\

->'''Misato:''' I’ll cook you a huge welcome home meal!\\
'''Shinji:''' Oh… great. (thinking) ''Oh God in Heaven, not again, I can’t go through that… ''food''… again…''
-->--''Fanfic/OnceMoreWithFeeling''

->"Oh, and since you just woke up you must be hungry." She got up, heading for the pantry. "Why don't I —"\\

"Aw, but I had this neat idea for an experiment! All I need is some horseradish and some curry and —"\\

->'''Nanoha:''' ''Fate the pudding is angry!''\\

'''Arf:''' ''It wasn't my fault, Tsuku was distracting me!'' \\
'''Tsukuyomi:''' The color of this dish is a bit off. Also, I believe that it is lethally poisonous to most forms of organic life, and probably will provoke allergic reactions in Thaxillian crystal birds. \\

-->--''Fanfic/{{Infinity}}''

'''Jamie''': It's a creamy chicken kiev.\\
'''Ramsay''': What in the fuck is that?! *''picks something out of the dish''*\\

-> '''Red Green:''' Water!
-> '''Eddie:''' Do you wanna take some cookies with you?
-> '''Noel:''' Oh yeah, thanks! Wouldn't want to go out there unarmed.
-->-- ''Series/TheRedGreenShow'', Episode 44 ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgcrB5chxyg The Sudsy Lake]]''.

Return to LethalChef, and take your burning cereal with you.

----