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->''We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down,''
->''So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round.''
->''We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind,''
->''And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind!''
-->--'''Music/JohnnyHorton''', "The Battle of New Orleans""
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->"A good secret agent can use anything as a weapon. A back scratcher can be just as deadly as a chain saw. It shouldn't matter what you choose. I once took out a dozen terrorists with a jelly donut and a cup of cocoa."
-->--'''Matilda "Wheezer" Choi''', ''Literature/{{NERDS}}''
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->''[[LampshadeHanging "This thing makes a surprisingly good weapon."]]''
-->--'''Mabel Pines''' after decapitating a zombie with a karaoke machine, ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'', "Scary-oke"
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->''"A brass unicorn has been catapulted across a London street and impaled an eminent surgeon. Words fail me, gentlemen."''
-->--'''Waverley''', ''Film/TheAbominableDrPhibes''
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Don't pothole in quotes.


->''"As long as we still have guns, we gonna fight. And if we run out of bullets? Baby, [[ZombieApocalypse they]] [[BatterUp gonna]] [[FryingPanOfDoom wish]] [[AnAxeToGrind we]] [[ChainsawGood hadn't.]]"''

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->''"As long as we still have guns, we gonna fight. And if we run out of bullets? Baby, [[ZombieApocalypse they]] [[BatterUp gonna]] [[FryingPanOfDoom wish]] [[AnAxeToGrind we]] [[ChainsawGood they gonna wish we hadn't.]]"''"''
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-> '''[[{{Jerkass}} Jade]]:''' I ought'a take this and ''kill'' you both with it!\\
'''Tori:''' ([[SecurityCling holding onto Andre]]) How can you kills us with toilet paper?

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-> '''[[{{Jerkass}} Jade]]:''' '''Jade:''' I ought'a take this and ''kill'' you both with it!\\
'''Tori:''' ([[SecurityCling holding onto Andre]]) How can you kills kill us with a roll of toilet paper?
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-->-- ''Series/Victorious''

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-->-- ''Series/Victorious''
''Series/{{Victorious}}''
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-> '''[[{{Jerkass}} Jade]]:''' I ought'a take this and ''kill'' you both with it!\\
'''Tori:''' ([[SecurityCling holding onto Andre]]) How can you kills us with toilet paper?
-->-- ''Series/Victorious''
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-> ''You will collect and contain paranormal objects, and then use them to beat up sharks.''
-->-- '''Unnamed speaker''', ''Wiki/SCPFoundation'', [[http://www.scpwiki.com/10-30-a-m "10:30 A.M."]]
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-> ''According to the victim, the Green Guide started fighting the guy, but couldn’t get the upper hand until he grabbed a can of beans and started beating the guy with it like it was a pair of improvised brass knuckles. It was pretty brutal, but also effective.''
-->-- '''Tsukauchi''', ''Fanfic/ViridianTheGreenGuide''
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-->-- [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-real-survival-guides-for-wildly-improbable-situations/#ixzz31qEDN25w "4 Real Survival Guides For Improbably Situations"]]

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-->-- [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-real-survival-guides-for-wildly-improbable-situations/#ixzz31qEDN25w "4 Real Survival Guides For Improbably Wildly Improbable Situations"]]
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-> ''I went in next, took a bullet to the chest. So I hit him in the head with the only thing that was anywhere near me.''\\
''A tin of baked beans and a Woman's Weekly.''
-->-- ''Music/{{Space}}, Me & You Vs. The World''
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-->-- Argal, ''Literature/{{Doglands}}''

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-->-- Argal, '''Argal''', ''Literature/{{Doglands}}''
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-> A muzzle takes away your teeth, but look around - there are teeth everywhere.
-->-- Argal, ''Literature/{{Doglands}}''
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-->-- '''She-Beast''', [[ExactWords pointedly not getting involved]] in a fight at museum, ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'', [[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/original-timeline/980-diamonds-are-a-vamp-s-best-friend-part-4 "Diamonds are a Vamp's Best Friend" part 4]]

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-->-- '''She-Beast''', [[ExactWords pointedly not getting involved]] in a fight at a museum, ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'', [[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/original-timeline/980-diamonds-are-a-vamp-s-best-friend-part-4 "Diamonds are a Vamp's Best Friend" part 4]]
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-> ''[W]e stood there and listened to the unmistakable sound of priceless artifacts being used as improvised weaponry.''
-->-- '''She-Beast''', [[ExactWords pointedly not getting involved]] in a fight at museum, ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'', [[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/original-timeline/980-diamonds-are-a-vamp-s-best-friend-part-4 "Diamonds are a Vamp's Best Friend" part 4]]
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->''"I once sa whim kill three men in a bar [[ThePenIsMightier with a pencil.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis With... a fucking... pencil."]]''

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->''"I once sa whim saw him kill three men in a bar [[ThePenIsMightier with a pencil.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis With... a fucking... pencil."]]''
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->''"I once sa whim kill three men in a bar [[ThePenIsMightier with a pencil.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis With... a fucking... pencil."]]''
-->--'''Viggo''', regarding '''Film/JohnWick'''
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->''"Imagination is a weapon too. Those without it are the first to die."''
-->--'''Goblin Slayer''', ''LightNovel/GoblinSlayer''
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->'''Roy Harper''': See, the thing about me is, I can use '''anything''' as a weapon. So the more you blast stuff apart, the more weapons you give me.

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->'''Roy Harper''': See, the thing about me is, I can use '''anything''' as a weapon. So the more you blast stuff apart, [[NiceJobFixingItVillain the more weapons you give me.]]
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->'''Roy Harper''': See, the thing about me is, I can use '''anything''' as a weapon. So the more you blast stuff apart, the more weapons you give me.I
-->--''ComicBook/{{Titans}}''

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->'''Roy Harper''': See, the thing about me is, I can use '''anything''' as a weapon. So the more you blast stuff apart, the more weapons you give me.I
-->--''ComicBook/{{Titans}}''
me.
-->--''ComicBook/{{Titans}}''
----
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----

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->'''Roy Harper''': See, the thing about me is, I can use '''anything''' as a weapon. So the more you blast stuff apart, the more weapons you give me.I
-->--''ComicBook/{{Titans}}''
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->'''Shu Aozaki:''' So this "Shizuo" guy... how does he fight?\\
'''Mizuki Akabayashi:''' Well... it's kinda hard to explain. He usually just grabs whatever's lying around.\\
'''Shu:''' That's not surprising. Anyone with any street sense has grabbed a rock or something a few times.\\
'''Mizuki:''' Yeah, but this guy hits people with vending machines and guard rails.\\
'''Shu:''' No imagination, huh? Everyone has knocked someone into a vending machine before.\\
'''Mizuki:''' That's not it at all, boss. [[SuperStrength This guy picks up vending machines and rips up guard rails and then throws them at people]].
-->-- ''LightNovel/{{Durarara}}''
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-->-- '''Tai Kaliso''', ''[[GearsOfWar Gears of War: Jacinto's Remnant]]''

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-->-- '''Tai Kaliso''', ''[[GearsOfWar ''[[VideoGame/GearsOfWar Gears of War: Jacinto's Remnant]]''



-->-- '''Neutral''', ''TwoKinds''

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-->-- '''Neutral''', ''TwoKinds''
''Webcomic/TwoKinds''



-->--'''Steven Heck''', ''AlphaProtocol''

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-->--'''Steven Heck''', ''AlphaProtocol''
''VideoGame/AlphaProtocol''



-->-- '''[[http://www.itswalky.com/d/20030925.html Sal]]''', ''[[WalkyVerse It's Walky]]''

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-->-- '''[[http://www.itswalky.com/d/20030925.html Sal]]''', ''[[WalkyVerse It's Walky]]''
''Webcomic/ItsWalky''
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->"He is to be considered armed and dangerous at all times. Even if he’s holding something you wouldn’t normally consider lethal."

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->"He ->''"He is to be considered armed and dangerous at all times. Even if he’s holding something you wouldn’t normally consider lethal.""''
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-->-- ''Literature/WorldDominationInRetrospect''. In reference to the main character.

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-->-- ''Literature/WorldDominationInRetrospect''. In ''Literature/WorldDominationInRetrospect'', in reference to the main character.
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->"He is to be considered armed and dangerous at all times. Even if he’s holding something you wouldn’t normally consider lethal."
-->-- ''Literature/WorldDominationInRetrospect''. In reference to the main character.
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-->-- BadassOfTheWeek, on [[http://badassoftheweek.com/homedefense.html the garage]].

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-->-- BadassOfTheWeek, Website/BadassOfTheWeek, on [[http://badassoftheweek.com/homedefense.html the garage]].
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->'''Ben:''' Whoa! I am... ''pretty'' sure you shouldn't have a weapon at work.
->'''Ron:''' Literally everything is a weapon, son. That folder in my hands is much deadlier than this bow in yours.
->'''Ben:''' Oh, that's... probably true.
-->-- ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''. Keep in mind Ron has an enormous crossbow in his hands for this particular conversation
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-->-- ''JackieChanAdventures'', "The Dark Hand"

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-->-- ''JackieChanAdventures'', ''WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures'', "The Dark Hand"

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