Line #5 Quotes/ImprovisedWeapon


1	->''"Imagination is a weapon too. Those without it are the first to die."''
2	-->--'''Goblin Slayer''', ''Literature/GoblinSlayer''
3
4	-> ''"I'll kill you with my teacup."''
5	-->-- '''Riddick''', ''Film/TheChroniclesOfRiddick''
6
7	-> '''Jade:''' I ought'a take this and ''kill'' you both with it!\
8	'''Tori:''' ([[SecurityCling holding onto Andre]]) How can you kill us with a roll of toilet paper?
9	-->-- ''Series/{{Victorious}}''
10
11	->''"I once saw him kill three men in a bar [[ThePenIsMightier with a pencil.]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis With... a fucking... pencil."]]''
12	-->--'''Viggo''', regarding '''Film/JohnWick'''
13
14	->''"We must improvise. The world is full of weapons waiting to be used."''
15	-->-- '''Tai Kaliso''', ''[[VideoGame/GearsOfWar Gears of War: Jacinto's Remnant]]''
16
17	->'''Farrel:''' You just killed a helicopter with a car!\
18	'''[=McClane=]:''' I was out of bullets.
19	-->-- ''Film/LiveFreeOrDieHard''
20
21	->"''You used '''[[CrateExpectations a crate?]]''' I mean, really, '''a crate?'''''"
22	-->-- '''Neutral''', ''Webcomic/TwoKinds''
23
24	->"''Did you know that, at 400 miles per hour, soccer balls can decapitate people?''"
25	-->--'''Steven Heck''', ''VideoGame/AlphaProtocol''
26
27	->''"Folks're always tellin' me to [[ThereWasADoor use the door]]."''
28	-->-- '''[[http://www.itswalky.com/d/20030925.html Sal]]''', ''Webcomic/ItsWalky''
29
30	->'''[[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Zeetha]]:''' You just said: "No weapons."\
31	'''[[{{Determinator}} Higgs]]:''' That wasn't a ''weapon'', that was a ''chair''.\
32	'''Zeetha:''' Well then! Give me a ''chair!''\
33	'''Higgs:''' Comin' up.\
34	''[later]''\
35	'''Zeetha:''' Tankard! Not a weapon!
36	-->-- ''Webcomic/GirlGenius''
37
38	-> A muzzle takes away your teeth, but look around - there are teeth everywhere.
39	-->-- '''Argal''', ''Literature/{{Doglands}}''
40
41	->''"This [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tiny_ninja_sword needle-sized ninja sword]] is too small to use as a weapon. Well, it's too small to use as an ''effective'' weapon. Pretty much anything can be used as an ineffective weapon."''
42	-->-- ''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing''
43
44	->''"As long as we still have guns, we gonna fight. And if we run out of bullets? Baby, they gonna wish we hadn't."''
45	-->-- ''Coach, VideoGame/Left4Dead2''
46
47	->'''[[NinjaPirateZombieRobot Kung-Fu Cowboy]] [[{{Mook}} minion]]:''' ''[[IKnowKarate [does a bunch of kicks]]]'' I learned that from a Chinaman!\
48	'''West:''' ''[picks up [[ShovelStrike a shovel]] and knocks him out in one hit]'' [[CombatPragmatist I just made that up!]]
49	-->-- ''Film/WildWildWest''
50
51	->'''Dr. Danger:''' Can nothing stop this thing?\
52	'''"Dash" O' Pepper''': Just let me throw a barrel at it!
53	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'', "Toby Danger in Doomsday Bet"
54
55	->''"Shit, there's a lot of things you could use to kill a guy with. You could probably beat a guy to death with the Sunday ''New York Times'', couldn't you?"''
56	-->-- ''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''
57
58	->'''Seanbaby:''' Where the book really shines is its tips on creating makeshift weapons using only the crap found on a plane. For example, here's how to arts 'n' crafts an ordinary Coke can into a dagger... they give tips on crushing terrorist windpipes with the edge of a meal tray! Why the hell not!?\
59	'''Stewardess:''' ''[[BondOneLiner THIS is the deal with airline food!]]''
60	-->-- [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-real-survival-guides-for-wildly-improbable-situations/#ixzz31qEDN25w "4 Real Survival Guides For Wildly Improbable Situations"]]
61
62	->''"Depending on how hardcore you are about making trips to the Home Depot every weekend, this place can potentially be literally covered from wall to wall with diabolical instruments so pointy and menacing that it makes some of those pussy-ass Spanish Inquisition torture chambers look like an inflatable bounce house at a six-year-old's birthday party."''
63	-->-- Website/BadassOfTheWeek, on [[http://badassoftheweek.com/homedefense.html the garage]].
64
65	->'''Glory:''' You lost your hammer, sweet cheeks. What are you gonna hit me with now?\
66	''[a huge wrecking-ball smashes through the wall and into Glory]''\
67	'''Buffy:''' Whatever's handy.
68	-->-- ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', "The Gift"
69
70	->'''Valmont:''' You are telling me one man stopped you?\
71	'''Finn:''' Uh, yes, but--\
72	'''Valmont:''' Three of my enforcers armed with high-tech weapons were defeated by an... archaeologist?\
73	'''Finn:''' Did we mention he had windshield wipers?
74	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/JackieChanAdventures'', "The Dark Hand"
75
76	->'''Ben:''' Whoa! I am... ''pretty'' sure you shouldn't have a weapon at work.
77	->'''Ron:''' Literally everything is a weapon, son. That folder in my hands is much deadlier than this bow in yours.
78	->'''Ben:''' Oh, that's... probably true.
79	-->-- ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''. Keep in mind Ron has an enormous crossbow in his hands for this particular conversation
80
81	->"A good secret agent can use anything as a weapon. A back scratcher can be just as deadly as a chain saw. It shouldn't matter what you choose. I once took out a dozen terrorists with a jelly donut and a cup of cocoa."
82	-->--'''Matilda "Wheezer" Choi''', ''Literature/{{NERDS}}''
83
84	->''"He is to be considered armed and dangerous at all times. Even if he’s holding something you wouldn’t normally consider lethal."''
85	-->-- ''Literature/WorldDominationInRetrospect'', in reference to the main character.
86
87	->'''Shu Aozaki:''' So this "Shizuo" guy... how does he fight?\
88	'''Mizuki Akabayashi:''' Well... it's kinda hard to explain. He usually just grabs whatever's lying around.\
89	'''Shu:''' That's not surprising. Anyone with any street sense has grabbed a rock or something a few times.\
90	'''Mizuki:''' Yeah, but this guy hits people with vending machines and guard rails.\
91	'''Shu:''' No imagination, huh? Everyone has knocked someone into a vending machine before.\
92	'''Mizuki:''' That's not it at all, boss. [[SuperStrength This guy picks up vending machines and rips up guard rails and then throws them at people]].
93	-->-- ''Literature/{{Durarara}}''
94
95	->'''Roy Harper''': See, the thing about me is, I can use '''anything''' as a weapon. So the more you blast stuff apart, [[NiceJobFixingItVillain the more weapons you give me.]]
96	-->--''ComicBook/Titans1999''
97
98	-> ''[W]e stood there and listened to the unmistakable sound of priceless artifacts being used as improvised weaponry.''
99	-->-- '''She-Beast''', [[ExactWords pointedly not getting involved]] in a fight at a museum, ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'', [[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/original-timeline/980-diamonds-are-a-vamp-s-best-friend-part-4 "Diamonds are a Vamp's Best Friend" part 4]]
100
101	-> ''I went in next, took a bullet to the chest. So I hit him in the head with the only thing that was anywhere near me.''\
102	''A tin of baked beans and a Woman's Weekly.''
103	-->-- ''Music/{{Space}}, Me & You Vs. The World''
104
105	-> ''According to the victim, the Green Guide started fighting the guy, but couldn’t get the upper hand until he grabbed a can of beans and started beating the guy with it like it was a pair of improvised brass knuckles. It was pretty brutal, but also effective.''
106	-->-- '''Tsukauchi''', ''Fanfic/ViridianTheGreenGuide''
107
108	-> ''You will collect and contain paranormal objects, and then use them to beat up sharks.''
109	-->-- '''Unnamed speaker''', ''Website/SCPFoundation'', [[http://www.scpwiki.com/10-30-a-m "10:30 A.M."]]
110
111	->''"A brass unicorn has been catapulted across a London street and impaled an eminent surgeon. Words fail me, gentlemen."''
112	-->--'''Waverley''', ''Film/TheAbominableDrPhibes''
113
114	->''[[LampshadeHanging "This thing makes a surprisingly good weapon."]]''
115	-->--'''Mabel Pines''' after decapitating a zombie with a karaoke machine, ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'', "Scary-oke"
116
117	->''We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down,''
118	->''So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round.''
119	->''We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind,''
120	->''And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind!''
121	-->-- '''Music/JohnnyHorton''', "The Battle of New Orleans"
122
123	->''Hans gives you a knock over the head with his guitar. You hear a loud "Bwong!" and you fall. Hans then throws you out with his broken guitar. Your adventure is over.''
124	-->-- ''OWL'' Magazine, 2007 Summer Digest
125
126	->'''Farming Hoe:''' ''"A farming tool primarily used for tilling fields. Its fine craftsmanship is sturdy enough to withstand backbreaking fieldwork, but its battle applications are untested."''
127	->'''Boat Oar:''' ''"Made for paddling boats, but it was made sturdy enough to fight strong currents. Maybe it's useful for self-defense in a pinch."''
128	->'''Wooden Mop:''' ''"Just a mop to the untrained eye, it excels at tidying up the place. But it owes its sturdy construction to a true craftsman, so it actually has some combat merit."''
129	-->-- Compendium entries on daily-use tools, ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfTheWild''
130
131	->''"Me and Haymitch just got through about a million Peacekeepers, using a tie and a piece of broken plastic."''
132	-->-- '''Jack Anderson''', ''[[Fanfic/TheEndOfTheWorldFernWithy The Golden Mean]]''
133
134	->''"'''[[DreadfulMusician Reggie Mantle]]''', let me see that '''fiddle'''!"''
135	-->-- '''Veronica Lodge''' right before she smashes said fiddle right through Reggie's head, ''ComicBook/ArchieComics'' (Betty and Veronica in "Fiddle-Dee-Dumb")
136
137	->''"All the good film is RUINED! But I can still use this camera!"''
138	-->-- '''Director''' furiously chasing Dick Dastardly with his camera stand, ''WesternAnimation/DastardlyAndMuttleyInTheirFlyingMachines'' ("Movies Are Badder Than Ever")
139
140	->''Heavy, metal, blunt. Could be used for fixing a flat, sure.''
141	-->-- FlavorText for the Tire Iron, ''VideoGame/VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines''

Context Quotes / ImprovisedWeapon