History Quotes / HenPeckedHusband

->This is what happens when you watch too much ''Series/SexAndTheCity'', especially any scenes with Charlotte York. Creator/JenniferLoveHewitt has been dating Alex Beh for around 7 months and she tells {{Series/Ellen}} that she’s made it extra easy for him if he ever choose to ask her to be his future ex-fiancee. [=JLove=] doesn’t care if the dude promises to be with her no matter how many [[LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek shit Lifetime movies]] she does. All she cares about is the ring. [=JLove=], who puts the rat in desperate, already has 3 rings picked out. You know what really makes an awful, awkward moment? Telling your boyfriend that you’ve already picked out three engagement rings and [[RussianRoulette he’ll make the biggest mistake of his life if he doesn’t choose one of them.]] Hopefully, the people at Tiffany’s have Alex’s back if he decides to go there. They’ll show him the three stupid rings as well as a diamond noose

'''Seth:''' No thanks; I've already had a wife.''

-->'''Music/PinkFloyd''', "The Happiest Days of Our Lives", ''Music/TheWall''

->'''Santanico Pandemonium:''' [[ac:elcome to slavery.]]\\
->'''Seth:''' No thanks; I've already had a wife.''

->Being a strong women and having a strong marriage don't necessarily go together. I've met some husbands who were like valets.

->Yes, yes, Jon Gosselin hates [[Series/JonAndKatePlusEight Kate Gosselin]] as much as Kate Gosselin hates [[AttentionWhore the off switch on a camera]]. We all know that Kate Gosselin is the baked-on, permanent skid mark on Jon’s favorite pair Ed Hardy Underoos, but in case you didn’t already know that, he makes it perfectly clear on tonight’s episode of ''Couples Therapy''. The clip below starts out with Jon talking about how he has written his memoirs (280 pages of nothing but ''[='=][[MadnessMantra DIE KATE DIE KATE]][='=]'' written over and over) but her lawyers are trying to muzzle him and she’s suing him for millions (she later dropped that lawsuit)...Oh, those two. The spark is still there, I see!

->A man can either be a happy rabbit or a lonely lion.
-->--'''Arabic proverb'''

->Yes, yes, Jon Gosselin hates [[Series/JonAndKatePlusEight Kate Gosselin]] as much as Kate Gosselin hates [[AttentionWhore the off switch on a camera]]. We all know that Kate Gosselin is the baked-on, permanent skid mark on Jon’s favorite pair Ed Hardy Underoos, but in case you didn’t already know that, he makes it perfectly clear on tonight’s episode of ''Couples Therapy''. The clip below starts out with Jon talking about how he has written his memoirs (280 pages of nothing but ''[='=]DIE KATE DIE KATE[='=]'' written over and over) but her lawyers are trying to muzzle him and she’s suing him for millions (she later dropped that lawsuit)...Oh, those two. The spark is still there, I see!

-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/02/27/jon-gosselin-continues-to-spit-out-poetic-words-of-love-about-kate-gosselin/ DListed]]'''''

->'''Sybil''': And you will try to look dignified, won't you?\\
'''Vimes''': Yes, dear.\\
'''Sybil''': What will you try to look?\\
'''Vimes''': Dignified, dear.\\
'''Sybil''': And please try to be diplomatic.\\
'''Vimes''': Yes, dear.\\
'''Sybil''': What will you try to be?\\
'''Vimes''': Diplomatic, dear.\\
'''Sybil''': You're using your "henpecked" voice, Sam.\\
'''Vimes''': Yes, dear.\\
'''Sybil''': You know that's not fair.\\
'''Vimes''': No, dear.

->'''Rory:''' Yep. --Wait, no! I love you too!

!!!RealLife
->Tenchi is more like whomever {{Music/Madonna}} marries. Just dragged along for the ride.
-->--'''[[http://spoonyexperiment.com/tenchi-muyo/ Christopher Kinsey]]''' on ''TenchiMuyo''

->Your quarterback: Tom Brady. I want those toilets shined so bright I can see my face in them, Tommy. I actually believe that Tom Brady goes home to [[TrophyWife Gisele]] and is basically her slave. After spending all week telling shitty receivers what to do and calling out blocking assignments for undrafted linemen, I bet he would like nothing more than to go home, relinquish control of everything, and let his wife kick his ass all over the place. Real ''[[Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey Fifty Shades]]''-type shit, with stiletto heels up his ass and everything.
-->--'''Drew Magary''', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-new-england-patriots-1629216508 Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New England Patriots"]]

->Yes, yes, Jon Gosselin hates [[Series/JonAndKatePlusEight Kate Gosselin]] as much as Kate Gosselin hates [[AttentionWhore the off switch on a camera]]. We all know that Kate Gosselin is the baked-on, permanent skid mark on Jon’s favorite pair Ed Hardy Underoos, but in case you didn’t already know that, he makes it perfectly clear on tonight’s episode of ''Couples Therapy''. The clip below starts out with Jon talking about how he has written his memoirs (280 pages of nothing but ''[='=]DIE KATE DIE KATE[='=]'' written over and over) but her lawyers are trying to muzzle him and she’s suing him for millions (she later dropped that lawsuit)...Oh, those two. The spark is still there, I see!
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/02/27/jon-gosselin-continues-to-spit-out-poetic-words-of-love-about-kate-gosselin/ DListed]]'''''

->''A man can either be a happy rabbit or a lonely lion.''

->''It was strange that a man among men was so helpless against a woman. He had something beaten and pitiful about him as he lay there. I thought it boded ill for us.''
-->-- ''Literature/TheHighCrusade''

->''"My dear, do not give way to such gloomy thoughts. Let us hope for better things. Let us flatter ourselves that I might outlive you."''

->''"A word of advice: never fall in love during a total eclipse."''

->'''Martok:''' ''(airlock opens)'' My Lady.
->'''Sirella:''' You've put on weight and your hair is going grey.
->'''Martok:''' My deterioration is proceeding apace.
->'''Sirella:''': I thought you would be in your grave by now.
->'''Martok:''': I shall endeavor to die this year, if possible.
-->--''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "You Are Cordially Invited"

->'''Amy:''' Do you get the feeling that you're forgetting something important, something incredibly big and monumental?\\
'''Rory:''' ...yep.\\
'''Amy:''' Are you just saying that because you're afraid of me?\\
'''Rory:''' ...yep.\\
'''Amy:''' I love you.\\
'''Rory:''' ...yep. Wait, no! I love you too!

->''"l'll never understand the humanoid need to couple... Too many compromises. You want to watch the karo-net game, she wants to listen to music, so you ''compromise'': You listen to music. You like Earth jazz, she prefers Klingon opera, so you compromise. You listen to Klingon opera. So here you were, ready to have a nice night watching karo-net and you wind up spending an agonising evening listening to Klingon opera."''

->''"Your quarterback: Tom Brady. I want those toilets shined so bright I can see my face in them, Tommy. I actually believe that Tom Brady goes home to [[TrophyWife Gisele]] and is basically her slave. After spending all week telling shitty receivers what to do and calling out blocking assignments for undrafted linemen, I bet he would like nothing more than to go home, relinquish control of everything, and let his wife kick his ass all over the place. Real ''[[Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey Fifty Shades]]''-type shit, with stiletto heels up his ass and everything."''

->''"Yes, yes, Jon Gosselin hates [[Series/JonAndKatePlusEight Kate Gosselin]] as much as Kate Gosselin hates [[AttentionWhore the off switch on a camera]]. We all know that Kate Gosselin is the baked-on, permanent skid mark on Jon’s favorite pair Ed Hardy Underoos, but in case you didn’t already know that, he makes it perfectly clear on tonight’s episode of ''Couples Therapy''. The clip below starts out with Jon talking about how he has written his memoirs (280 pages of nothing but ''[='=]DIE KATE DIE KATE[='=]'' written over and over) but her lawyers are trying to muzzle him and she’s suing him for millions (she later dropped that lawsuit)...Oh, those two. The spark is still there, I see!"''

->''"Yes, yes, Jon Gosselin hates [[Series/JonAndKatePlusEight Kate Gosselin]] as much as Kate Gosselin hates [[AttentionWhore the off switch on a camera]]. We all know that Kate Gosselin is the baked-on, permanent skid mark on Jon’s favorite pair Ed Hardy Underoos, but in case you didn’t already know that, he makes it perfectly clear on tonight’s episode of ''Couples Therapy''. The clip below starts out with Jon talking about how he has written his memoirs (which is probably one page that says ''[='=]Dedicated to my soulmate Christian Audigier[='=]'' followed by 280 pages of nothing but ''[='=]DIE KATE DIE KATE[='=]'' written over and over)...Oh, those two. The spark is still there, I see!"''

->''"Your quarterback: Tom Brady. I want those toilets shined so bright I can see my face in them, Tommy. I actually believe that Tom Brady goes home to [[TrophyWife Gisele]] and is basically her slave. After spending all week telling shitty receivers what to do and calling out blocking assignments for undrafted linemen, I bet he would like nothing more than to go home, relinquish control of everything, and let his wife kick his ass all over the place. Real ''[[Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey Fifty Shades]]''-type shit, with stiletto heels up his ass and everything."''
-->--'''Drew Magary''', [[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-new-england-patriots-1629216508 Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New England Patriots"]]

->''"Immediately after I saw this picture of my beautiful earth angel Bruce Jenner smiling and holding hands with that morally bankrupt Botox dumpster [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians Pimp Mama Kris]] -- a she-devil I was certain he was free from the clutches of, mind you -- I started cycling through the Kübler-Ross model of 5 stages of grief. At first I was in denial ('He’s just escorting a MichaelJackson impersonator through the airport!'), then anger (I broke every dish, glass, and crystal unicorn in my home, and lit a box of Wheaties on fire), bargaining ('Do you want me to carve up my nose into a silly putty penis?? I’ll do it! I’ll do anything to keep you from returning to that evil hag!'), followed by depression (listening to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTQiT58AbE0 this song]] on repeat while weeping loudly on the kitchen floor)."''
-->--'''''[[http://www.dlisted.com/2014/04/03/youve-broken-my-damn-heart-brucie/ DListed]]'''''

-->-- ''Literature/TheHighCrusade

->''"My dear, do not give way to such gloomy thoughts. Let us hope for better things. Let us flatter ourselves, that ''I'' might outlive ''you''."''

->''A man can either be a happy rabbit or a lonely lion.''
-->--'''Arabic proverb'''

->''But in the town it was well known\\
when they get home at night their fat and psychopathic wives\\
would thrash them within inches of their lives''
-->'''Music/PinkFloyd''', "The Happiest Days of Our Lives", ''Music/TheWall''

-->--'''''[[dlisted.com/2014/04/03/youve-broken-my-damn-heart-brucie/ DListed]]'''''

when they get home at night their fat psychapathic wives\\

-->''"A word of advice: never fall in love during a total eclipse."''
-->--'''Senex''', ''AFunnyThingHappenedOnTheWayToTheForum''


-->'''Sybil''': And you will try to look dignified, won't you?
-->'''Vimes''': Yes, dear.
-->'''Sybil''': What will you try to look?
-->'''Vimes''': Dignified, dear.
-->'''Sybil''': And please try to be diplomatic.
-->'''Vimes''': Yes, dear.
-->'''Sybil''': What will you try to be?
-->'''Vimes''': Diplomatic, dear.
-->'''Sybil''': You're using your "henpecked" voice, Sam.
-->'''Vimes''': Yes, dear.
-->'''Sybil''': You know that's not fair.
-->'''Vimes''': No, dear.
-->--Sir Samuel and Lady Sybil Vimes in ''Literature/{{Discworld}}''


-->'''Amy:''' Do you get the feeling that you're forgetting something important, something incredibly big and monumental?
-->'''Rory:''' ...yep.
-->'''Amy:''' Are you just saying that because you're afraid of me?
-->'''Rory:''' ...yep.
-->'''Amy:''' I love you.
-->'''Rory:''' ...yep. [[Funny/DoctorWho Wait, no! I love you too!]]

-->'''George:''' But Bar, [[ColdWar we can't show any weakness in front of the Russians]]!\\

'''George:''' (grumbling under his breath) Yes, dear.
-->(Gorbachev smiles evilly and says something in Russian to his aide)
-->-- ''TheSimpsons''

->But in the town it was well known\\

would thrash them within inches of their lives
-->'''Music/PinkFloyd''', "The Happiest Days of Our Lives", ''Music/TheWall''

-->''It was strange that a man among men was so helpless against a woman. He had something beaten and pitiful about him as he lay there. I thought it boded ill for us.''
-->TheHighCrusade

-->'''Music/PinkFloyd'', "The Happiest Days of Our Lives", ''Music/TheWall''

-->--'''Arabic proverb'''

-->-- ''TheSimpsons''

-->--Sir Samuel and Lady Sybil Vimes in ''{{Discworld}}''

-->'''Rory:''' ...yep. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny Wait, no! I love you too!]]

->''"A word of advice: never fall in love during a total eclipse."''
->--'''Senex''', ''AFunnyThingHappenedOnTheWayToTheForum''

-->'''George:''' But Bar, [[ColdWar we can't show any weakness in front of the Russians]]!''\\