History Quotes / CorruptChurch

->In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.

->The genius of the Fundamentalist movement was to take all that evil and sprinkle a few Bible quotes over it in order to make it more socially acceptable. There's not a sin or perversion that isn't indulged in within the walls of some 'church' somewhere, all with the veneer of respectability and moral rectitude.
-->--'''[[http://secretsunjr.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-real-satanists-and-golden-age-of.html Christopher Loring Knowles]]'''

-> Robertson is a founding member of the Taliban satellite known as the ''700 Club'', a Christian ultra-extremist terrorist group funded by TV telethons. When people call in, Robertson will cure them for whatever illness they may have by hollering his ever-faithful servant, God, and make Him perform the trick -- or to smite down people Robertson doesn’t particularly fancy. Robertson views himself as God’s personal messenger on earth (read that as “Pat da boss, Jesus his muscle man”), and claims to have direct contact with the prophets ([[AGodAmI yes, those prophets]]). This is a source of information Robertson uses to predict disasters that will happen to people who don’t behave the way Robertson thinks God ought to want people to behave. He often makes his predictions [[PhonyPsychic after a disaster has already struck]], but there are the annual exceptions (we are still waiting for Orlando to be destroyed by a meteor). In fact, Robertson strikes one as a slightly eccentric, utterly delusional and repugnantly evil version of [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail the wizard Tim]]: ''“Hurricane, In the name of Jesus I take authority over you and command you to change course. In the name of Jesus I command you to turn away from [[DeepSouth Virginia Beach]] now. You will turn south and then east and strike the wicked godless heathen land of [[DirtyCommunists Cuba]] instead. Amen.”'' Chants Pat. He also prophesied the end of times to happen in 1980, 1982, 1985, 1996 and 2007...he also has first-hand testimonial from Jesus that [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Obama]] will disintegrate America, the only remedy being prayer and [[ViolinScam sending Robertson money.]]
-->--'''''The Encyclopedia of American Loons''''' [[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2012/06/338-pat-robertson.html on]] Pat Robertson

-> Robertson is a founding member of the Taliban satellite known as the ''700 Club'', a Christian ultra-extremist terrorist group funded by TV telethons. When people call in, Robertson will cure them for whatever illness they may have by hollering his ever-faithful servant, God, and make Him perform the trick -- or to smite down people Robertson doesn’t particularly fancy. Robertson views himself as God’s personal messenger on earth (read that as “Pat da boss, Jesus his muscle man”), and claims to have direct contact with the prophets ([[AGodAmI yes, those prophets]]). This is a source of information Robertson uses to predict disasters that will happen to people who don’t behave the way Robertson thinks God ought to want people to behave. He often makes his predictions [[PhonyPsychic after a disaster has already struck]], but there are the annual exceptions (we are still waiting for Orlando to be destroyed by a meteor). In fact, Robertson strikes one as a slightly eccentric, utterly delusional and repugnantly evil version of [[Film/TheLifeOfBrian the wizard Tim]]: ''“Hurricane, In the name of Jesus I take authority over you and command you to change course. In the name of Jesus I command you to turn away from [[DeepSouth Virginia Beach]] now. You will turn south and then east and strike the wicked godless heathen land of [[DirtyCommunists Cuba]] instead. Amen.”'' Chants Pat. He also prophesied the end of times to happen in 1980, 1982, 1985, 1996 and 2007...he also has first-hand testimonial from Jesus that [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Obama]] will disintegrate America, the only remedy being prayer and [[ViolinScam sending Robertson money.]]

->''Once upon a time, Christianity created its own enemy and called it Satanism. Everything was a matter of good and evil, plain and simple, black and white . . . but this is a gray world. The two extremes, Christ and Satan, finally merged in the Christian militia. There was always a powerful attraction there; now it's been fulfilled. Christ and Anti-Christ in one. Only took two thousand years.''

!!!RealLife

->Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
-->--Seneca The Younger (4BCE to 65CE)

->In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.
-->--'''UsefulNotes/ThomasJefferson'''

->Poverty'': The vow taken by members of the Roman Catholic Church (you know them, right? Biggest land-owners on the planet?)''
->syn: ''bullshit''
-->--'''''UrbanDictionary'''''

!!!Fiction

->'''Priest:''''' Is God a jar of strawberry preserves, a size 12 sneaker, a footlong Hogie, an all-expense paid trip to Brazil, or a NEWWW CARRRRR!?''
->'''Choice number 6:''' None of the above, it's a trick question.

->''"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."''

->''"In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own."''

->'''Elizabeth:''' Fifty percent of everything people earn here goes directly to Comstock as a tithe.
->'''Booker:''' I gotta get ''me'' a job in the prophet business.

->''"We have no need for military might. We wield two of the sharpest swords ever forged: Faith in our left hand, Wealth in our right."''

-> "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."

-> ''"In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own."''

->''"''Poverty'': The vow taken by members of the Roman Catholic Church (you know them, right? Biggest land-owners on the planet?)''
->syn: ''bullshit"''

->''syn: bullshit"''

--> "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."

--> ''"In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own."''

->''"'''Povery'''': The vow taken by members of the Roman Catholic Church (you know them, right? Biggest land-owners on the planet?)
->''syn'': bullshit

-->''Once upon a time, Christianity created its own enemy and called it Satanism. Everything was a matter of good and evil, plain and simple, black and white . . . but this is a gray world. The two extremes, Christ and Satan, finally merged in the Christian militia. There was always a powerful attraction there; now it's been fulfilled. Christ and Anti-Christ in one. Only took two thousand years.''
-->--'''Seal''', ''Dad's Nuke''

-->''"We have no need for military might. We wield two of the sharpest swords ever forged: Faith in our left hand, Wealth in our right."''
-->--'''Vuliev of the Ghost Council''', FlavorText for [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=97219 Castigate]], ''MagicTheGathering''

-->'''Priest:''''' Is God a jar of strawberry preserves, a size 12 sneaker, a footlong Hogie, an all-expense paid trip to Brazil, or a NEWWW CARRRRR!?''
-->'''Choice number 6:''' None of the above, it's a trick question.
-->'''Priest:''''' Heretic!''
-->-- ''{{VideoGame/Harvester}} ''

-->-- ''Harvester''

-->--'''UsefulNotes/ThomasJefferson'''

-->--'''ThomasJefferson'''

-->--Seneca The Younger (4BCE to 65CE)

-->--'''Vuliev of the Ghost Council''', FlavorText for [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=97219 Castigate]], ''MagicTheGathering''

-->--'''Seal''', ''Dad's Nuke''