History Main / SpoofAesop

** This is only one episode, mind you; The Tick delivering Spoof Aesops are a OnceAnEpisode part of ''The Tick''. In fact, [[DependingOnTheWriter some episodes]] (like the one above) feel as if they are [[OverlyPreparedGag written around their Spoof Aesops]].

->'''Bob''': Hmm, there's a lesson in all this.
->'''Eglamore''': Okay. Let's hear it.
->'''Bob''': Never let sixty angry kids use a herd of laser cows to take over your house.

--> '''Spider-Man:''' So the lesson today is "Trust no one."
--> '''Storm:''' That's ''not'' the lesson.

--->'''Chan:''' You suppose there's a moral in all of this?
--->'''Hsu:''' Oh... probably.

--> '''Brad''': You're going to kill him? What's his crime?
--> '''Dr. Scott''': You saw what became of Eddie; society must be protected.

* In ''LoveActually'', jaded rock star Billy Mack appears on what seems to be a live talk show for teenagers, promoting his new album. After defacing a poster of a rival band - which prompts [[AntAndDec the hosts]] to inform him that there are kids watching - he looks deeply into the camera and intones:
--> '''Billy Mack:''' Here's an important message from your uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs.
--> ''The hosts of the television show smile in relief''
--> '''Billy Mack:''' Become a pop star, and they give them to you for free!

--->'''Elizabeth''': For what becomes of the moral if our comfort springs from a breach of promise? ...
--->'''Darcy''': You need not distress yourself. The moral will be perfectly fair. Lady Catherine's unjustifiable endeavours to separate us were the means of removing all my doubts.

-->'''Xander''': And was there a lesson in all of this? What have we learned about beer?
-->'''Buffy''': Foamy!
-->'''Xander''': Good. Just so that's clear.

-->'''Giles:''' I can't believe you served Buffy that beer.
-->'''Xander:''' I didn't know it was evil!
-->'''Giles:''' You knew it was ''beer''.

--> '''Wes''': What did we learn?
--> '''Cordelia''': Men are evil? No, wait, I knew that. Sex is bad?
--> '''Angel''': We ''all'' knew that.
--> '''Cordelia''': Okay, fine. I learned that I have two people I can count on absolutely in my life. And ''that's'' new.

-->'''Ted:''' Dougal, don't put too much faith in people who are 'cool'. Most of the time, they're just on the fast track to a life of crime. Father Lennon will probably end up like that corrupt cardinal in ''Film/TheGodfather 3''.
-->'''Dougal:''' Oh, you're right there, Ted.
-->'''Ted:''' So, have you learned something from your experience?
-->'''Dougal:''' ...No.

* On ''That70sShow'', Michael Kelso and Jackie Burkhart are a good-looking but dim and very shallow teen couple. In the episode "Hyde Moves In", Jackie catches a cold, which slightly hinders her looks, but when Kelso sees her, he screams in horror. He later comes back to apologize, and tells that he learned a lesson: "Just because you look bad now, that, that doesn't mean you're gonna look bad forever! [...] I realized that this whole mess, that's just a temporary thing. But physical beauty, that lasts forever!" Jackie is touched.

--> '''Kitty''': "Aren't you going Donna?"
--> '''Donna''': "No, my dad's gonna make me wear this really queer jumpsuit. I don't know if I can do it. It's just too embarrassing."
--> '''Kitty''': "You know Donna, my grandmother came from Sweden, and she had this thick thick accent and it embarrassed me to no end. Well, I asked her not to come to my high-school graduation 'cause I didn't want my friends to hear her talk. And she didn't come. Sixteen years later, she got the gout and died. You see?"
--> '''Donna''': "No."
--> '''Kitty''': "All families are embarrassing. And if they're not embarrassing, then they're dead."
* In the ''BetterOffTed'' episode "The Long and Winding High Road", Linda and Veronica come up with one way of cheating to make sure their project beats out its competitor from the other division, while Ted comes up with a completely different way; the combination of the two of them ends up being worse for the project than if they'd just done nothing.

-->'''Blossom:''' I think it's cheating. The moral of some low-budget scifi ripoff movie is "Don't drink and drive"?
-->'''Joey:''' See? Even you got it!

--> Take heed the moral of this tale.
--> Be not a borrower or a lender
--> And if your finances do fail
--> Be sure your banker's not a bender.

-->'''Mike:''' So, what do you think was the message?
-->'''Crow:''' Don't watch it. Ever.
* In the ''{{House}}'' episode "Euphoria," House suspects the current patient got an infection from the pigeon droppings they discover he uses as free fertilizer for his marijuana crop.

-->'''Calvin''' ''(angrily)'': See if I ever listen to ''you'' again.
-->'''Hobbes''' ''(with subtle sarcasm)'': Never put the low priorities first.

-->'''Zebra''': So, Saint Peter wouldn't allow you into heaven?
-->'''Rat''': No. He said I was bad.
-->'''Zebra''': Well, now that you know your actions have consequences, what kind of things are you going to avoid from now on?
-->'''Rat''': Death.

-->'''Adam''': I learned people are animals too.
-->'''Reed''': I learned you can't hug a child with nuclear arms.
-->'''Austin''': And I learned never to ask Reed and Adam what they learned today.

-->'''1. How to deal with frustration, disappointment, and irritating cynicism.'''
-->'''Elaine:''' That sounds like something my husband would say.\\
'''Guybrush:''' Yikes!
-->'''2. It's not the size of the ship...'''
-->'''Elaine:''' Yes, I've heard that one.
-->'''3. Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.'''
-->'''Elaine:''' A what?\\

-->'''Herman:''' Now, what has this experience taught you?
-->'''Guybrush:''' That philosophy isn't worth my time.
-->'''Herman:''' I'm very impressed! It takes most people years to reach this point. [[WhenYouSnatchThePebble You have learned all that you can from me. Go forth into the world with confidence.]]

--> '''Torg''': "We learned a valuable lesson that day."
--> '''Kiki''': "Yeah! Bun-bun was right! Peer pressure ''does'' save lives!"
--> '''Torg''': "I was thinking 'Just ''buy'' the girl a smurf next time[[hottip:*:[[SpaceWhaleAesop he means, as opposed to using an ancient magical artifact to create one, which might want to eat you]],' but that'll do."

-->'''Percy the Mammoth''': I've learned that I can be friends, even with people different from me.
-->'''Aylee''': And I've learned that true friendship is worth more than eating even the tastiest human.
-->'''Torg''': I've learned that I need to appreciate you more. I've been taking your friendship for granted when I should have listened with my heart.
-->'''Riff''': And I learned it's OK to eat people if they're the bad guys.

--> '''Torg''': "Devaluing everything material is a road to ruin. That was a lesson [[OurMonstersAreWeird Clutter Monster]] learned too late and at too high a price."
* From ''TheWotch'' ( http://www.thewotch.com/?epDate=2007-04-23 ) "Now Jennie, what did we learn again?" "That it's never okay to drop bowling balls on people's heads unless they are evil wizards hurting your friends."

-->'''Phoebe:''' I now understand that hair is ''far'' more important than pencil toppers.
-->'''Dakota:''' That's a stupid moral.
-->'''Phoebe:''' At least it's not a cliche.

--> '''Caboose''': You ever wonder why we're here?
--> '''Church''': You know, Caboose? I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But, after all that's happened, you know what I've learned? It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole or a pervert or a snob. Or they're lazy or arrogant or an idiot or a know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because they're Red or because they're Blue, but because you know them... and you see them every single day... and you can't stand them because they're a complete and total fucking douchebag.
--> '''Caboose''': ... I meant why are we up here in the sun when we could be standing down there in the shade?
--> '''Church''': Oh! ... Yeah, okay. Let's go stand in the shade.

--> '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''': We shouldn't hate each other!
--> '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''': We should team up to hate other things!

--> '''Yami''' "Let that be a lesson to you young man, bullying is not very nice, so I don't want you to doing it ever again. Got that?"
--> '''Worm''' *Belch*

--> '''Joshua:''' "Strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
--> '' *everyone cheers*''
--> '''Joshua:''' Or to be player one. See, if you go first you take the middle square. Yeah, I guess that's the lesson. Go first, and hope your opponent messes up the first move.

--> ''[[ItMakesSenseInContext Abraham Lincoln]]'': It doesn't matter. What does matter is you need to believe in yourself!
--> ''Finn'': NEVER!

-->'''Meatwad:''' I thought you said TV was bad for you.
-->
-->'''Frylock:''' Oh, it is...but we **** ing need it!

--->'''Actor!Sokka:''' Katara, why did you steal that waterbending scroll?
--->'''Actor!Katara:''' * sniff* Because it gave me * sniff* so much HOPE!

--> Aang: It's just like the legend said: we let love lead the way.
--> Sokka: Really? We let huge ferocious beasts lead our way.

-->'''Brak's Dad:''' "Brak, remember that even though a man may have more hairs on his head that there are stars in the sky, that does not mean that he can plan a successful party that movie stars will attend and enjoy... responsibly."

--> '''Lois''': Well Peter, I guess you learned a very important lesson.
--> '''Peter''': Nope!

--->'''Lois:''' So, how'd the test go?
--->'''Brian:''' I failed. ''[Griffins react in shock]'' Yes, I failed. But the important thing is that I finished what I started and I didn't cheat.
--->'''Lois:''' ''[pause]'' Well, you should have cheated. ''[Griffins mutter to each other in agreement]''
--->'''Brian:''' But I finished what I started and that's all that matters, right?
--->'''Lois:''' ''[Another pause]'' No.
--->'''Peter:''' Yeah, what are you, out of your mind? ''[Griffins mutter to each other again in agreement]''
--->'''Chris:''' ''[to Brian]'' I hate you! ''[runs away in shame]''

-->'''Peter:''' And I learned that it doesn't matter what your family thinks of me.
-->'''Lois:''' That's right, because I love you anyway.
-->'''Peter:''' No, because your ancestors were all just a bunch of pimps and whores. Heheheheheheh.

--->'''Orson:''' As you can see, kids, there's a lesson to be learned from this story.
--->'''Roy:''' Yeah. You don't repay money you owe, [[SpaceWhaleAesop a dinosaur squishes your head]].
--->'''Orson:''' That's pretty much it.

-->'''Inner Frat Boy:''' Aw, clowns aren't scary, Billy. They're just different. And just because someone looks different than you, or thinks differently than you, doesn't mean you should be afraid of them. ''It means you should be angry at them!'' How dare they be different! What, my way of life's not good enough for them?
-->'''Billy:''' So you're saying I should beat them up?
-->'''Inner Frat Boy:''' Billy, fighting outside of a hockey rink is wrong. But I'm imaginary, so do what you gotta do.

-->'''Shego''': What have we learned?
-->'''Drakken''' [reluctantly]: No clones.
-->'''Shego''': Get in the car.

-->'''Ron''': Normally I'd say we learned that suspicion and paranoia is bad, except that's what saved us.
-->'''Kim''': Well, maybe we learned that... oh, I don't know.
-->'''Bonnie''': I didn't learn anything.
-->'''Ron''': That's it! Looking at you two, it's so clear!
-->'''Kim and Bonnie''': What is so clear?
-->'''Ron''': If you two had set aside your differences earlier, one of you could have won that Spirit Stick. That's the lesson here!
-->'''Bonnie''': How about, "Cheer camp stinks"?
-->'''Kim''': Yeah, agreed.
-->'''Ron''': Works for me.

-->'''Dad:''' I hope you've learned your lesson from this.
-->'''Ned:''' I sure have Dad. Never buy a company on leveraged credit.

--->'''Homer''': Well, kids, you both tried your best and you both failed miserably. The moral is, never try.
--->'''Homer''': If something's hard to do, it's probably not worth doing!
--->'''Homer''': I hope you learned your lesson, Lisa. Never help anyone.
--->'''Homer''': (To Marge) Trying is the first step toward failure.

--->'''Marge''': Hasn't this experience taught you you can't believe everything you hear?
--->'''Homer''': Marge, my friend...I haven't learned a thing.

-->'''Cartman:''' Me being a bigot stopped a nuclear bomb from going off, yes or no?!
-->'''Kyle:''' Th--that's not the right way to look at it, I--
-->'''Cartman:''' YES OR NO, KYLE?!
-->'''Kyle:''' ''No!'' ...Not...not like you're saying.

-->'''Stan:''' I learned something today. Halloween isn't about costumes or candy. It's about being good to one another and giving and loving.
-->'''Kyle:''' No dude, that's Christmas.
-->'''Stan:''' Oh. Well then what's Halloween about?
-->'''Kyle:''' Costumes and candy.
-->'''Stan:''' Oh yeah.

-->'''Robin:''' So, I guess it is bad to watch too much TV.
-->'''Starfire:''' But, we were only victorious because Beast Boy watches too much the television.
-->'''Raven:''' So, I guess there really is no lesson.
-->'''Cyborg:''' Yep, it was all completely meaningless.
-->'''Everyone:''' [[[EverybodyLaughsEnding forced laughter]]]
-->'''SFX:''' [[[LaughTrack canned laughter]]]

-->'''Big Dog:''' What did you learn today?
-->'''Little Dog:''' Nothing. What did you learn?
-->'''Big Dog:''' I learned I like to shake. ''(shakes his whole body)'' [[note]]A RunningGag in the episode, after the dogs misinterpreted a command to "shake"[[/note]]
-->'''Little Dog:''' Yeah! ''(begins shaking too)''

-->'''[[TheSnarkKnight Daria]]:''' Yeah. Look, why don't you just come back with us?
-->'''[[CoolLoser Jane]]:''' I don't know. Some kind of dumb-ass notion about seeing this through, I guess. Anyway, it's just another two weeks and then we'll be back at school! ...Wait, what's my point?
-->'''Daria:''' That life sucks no matter what, so don't be fooled by location changes.

--> '''Kitty:''' "Aren't you going Donna?"
--> '''Donna:''' "No, my dad's gonna make me wear this really queer jumpsuit. I don't know if I can do it. It's just too embarrassing."
--> '''Kitty:''' "You know Donna, my grandmother came from Sweden, and she had this thick thick accent and it embarrassed me to no end. Well, I asked her not to come to my high-school graduation 'cause I didn't want my friends to hear her talk. And she didn't come. Sixteen years later, she got the gout and died. You see?"
--> DONNA: "No."
--> KITTY: "All families are embarrassing. And if they're not embarrassing, then they're dead."

--> KITTY: "Aren't you going Donna?"
--> DONNA: "No, my dad's gonna make me wear this really queer jumpsuit. I don't know if I can do it. It's just too embarrassing."
--> KITTY: "You know Donna, my grandmother came from Sweden, and she had this thick thick accent and it embarrassed me to no end. Well, I asked her not to come to my high-school graduation 'cause I didn't want my friends to hear her talk. And she didn't come. Sixteen years later, she got the gout and died. You see?"

Read more tv spoilers at: http://www.tvfanatic.com/quotes/shows/south-park/season-1/page-4.html#ixzz2aBbStfcS

* ''Borgel'' by DanielPinkwater contains several folk tales which contain {{Spoof Aesop}}s of the third type (e.g., "Never bet on an eggplant").

When adding examples, bear in mind that just because a work is [[SatireParodyPastiche a spoof]] and has AnAesop, it's not necessarily a SpoofAesop

* Speedy Cerviche of ''SamuraiPizzaCats'' offered up a great SpoofAesop after a battle: "Whoever said 'Violence never solved anything' wasn't a Pizza Cat!"

* Because ''FanFic/YouGotHaruhiRolled'' is a CrackFic, the {{Aesop}} it gives in one arc is a SpoofAesop by default.

* A footnote in Terry Pratchett's novel ''Discworld/{{Eric}}'' explains, "Interestingly enough, the gods of the [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Disc]] have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. [[SpoofAesop This explains why it is important to shoot missionaries on sight.]]"

* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'': In the fourth-season episode "Beer Bad," after a cursed batch of beer turns Buffy into a neanderthal, Xander steers us into a SpoofAesop:

* From a ''SaturdayNightLive'' [[http://snltranscripts.jt.org/96/96rtwilight.phtml parody]] of the classic "Eye of the Beholder" segment of ''TheTwilightZone'' (on the season 23 episode hosted by Pamela Anderson {named Pamela Lee at the time}) comes this demolition of RodSerling's usual closing narration:
-->'''Serling:''' So, there you have it. Something that is beautiful to one is not beautiful to another. As this woman learned when she... well... she didn't really learn anything. And neither did we. Frankly, usually I try to have some kind of ironic twist or moral in these things, but... I got nothing this time, because that woman ''was'' hot! In TheTwilightZone.

* Even with its "No hugging, no learning" motto, an episode of ''{{Seinfeld}}'' does have a Spoof Aesop. In the episode "The Summer of George", George's plan to fulfill his personal goals during that summer (which he declared "The Summer of George", hence the title) go terribly awry. The Spoof Aesop here would seem to be "Never name a season after yourself; it will only end in tragedy".
* The ''{{Baywatch}}'' spoof ''SonOfTheBeach'' ended each episode with a SpoofAesop; usually of the non-sequitur and BrokenAesop varieties.

* The Catchup Advisory Council "commercials" on ''Radio/APrairieHomeCompanion'' inevitably make "eat more ketchup" not merely the logical end of a sales pitch, but a full-on SpoofAesop.

* There's a fine line between this and FamilyUnfriendlyAesop in the aftermath of Axel and Aerith's bachelor and bachelorette nights in ''AnsemRetort''. The most obvious SpoofAesop is Red XIII declaring "Bullshit I'm not adorable!"

** "Not All Dogs Go To Heaven" has Meg learning that God is not the answer, but whatever the answer is, it's probably something far greater than we could ever imagine. The show then pans out to show that the universe is all part of Adam West's bedside lamp.

** "Here's to our neighbours. Sure, they may be black, handicapped, and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick a perverted sex hound]], but without them, some damn Hawaiians might move in.

** And similar to the MassEffect2 one below, he berates a man for smoking with the "It'll kill you" line. [[BrickJoke Late in the movie]], it does... [[spoiler: [[FantasticAesop by leading a heat-seeking missile directly to his face]]]].

** The story "A Carnivorous Smurf for Kimmy Sue Hassenpfeffer":

--> '''Torg''': "I was thinking 'Just ''buy'' the girl a smurf next time[[hottip:*:[as opposed to using an ancient magical artifact to create one, which might want to eat you]],' but that'll do."

* In Confessions of a Master Jewel Thief, Bill Mason mentions that in his first real crime his partner was caught. While the police didn't have any real evidence against him, his partner was on parole. The DA told Bill that if Bill confessed the partner would go clear but if Bill too it to court it would lead to the DA revoking his partner's parole. Bill's lesson here: never use a partner. He was never caught later.

** And similar to the MassEffect2 one below, he berates a man for smoking with the "It'll kill you" line. [[BrickJoke Late in the movie]], it does... [[spoiler: [[FantasticAesop by leading a heat-seeking missile directly to his face]].

** Then there's ''WesternAnimation/TheLooneyTunesShow'', which in its first episode had Daffy deliver the vitally important lesson "It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, because nobody cares about water polo."

* ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, in the TGWTG Team Brawl, has this Aesop at the end:

** Another episode had the Aesop of "Your family really does love you-they just don't necessarily like you."

** Another episode had the Aesop of "Never listen to old people".