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History Main / RussianHumour

23rd May '16 8:35:22 PM GuiRitter
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--> A Georgian comes comes to an urologist and, without a word, pulls out his member and plops it on the examination table. Doctor: "Does it itch?" Georgian: "No" Doctor: "Does it drip?" Georgian: "No" Doctor: "Then what?" Georgian: "It looks good, yeah?"

to:

--> A Georgian comes comes to an urologist and, without a word, pulls out his member and plops it on the examination table. Doctor: "Does it itch?" Georgian: "No" Doctor: "Does it drip?" Georgian: "No" Doctor: "Then what?" Georgian: "It looks good, yeah?"
22nd May '16 8:58:13 PM MadCormorant
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** A good illustrated example of such a joke: [[http://asylums.insanejournal.com/scans_daily/132183.html Hitler vs. Stalin]], by Alexey Lipatov, with translations from Thomas Silbey. Featuring StupidJetPackHitler / SovietSuperscience, as well as Main/Ghostapo and whatever its Soviet equivalent might be.

to:

** A good illustrated example of such a joke: [[http://asylums.insanejournal.com/scans_daily/132183.html Hitler vs. Stalin]], by Alexey Lipatov, with translations from Thomas Silbey. Featuring StupidJetPackHitler / SovietSuperscience, as well as Main/Ghostapo Main/{{Ghostapo}} and whatever its Soviet equivalent might be.
22nd May '16 8:57:15 PM MadCormorant
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Added DiffLines:

** A good illustrated example of such a joke: [[http://asylums.insanejournal.com/scans_daily/132183.html Hitler vs. Stalin]], by Alexey Lipatov, with translations from Thomas Silbey. Featuring StupidJetPackHitler / SovietSuperscience, as well as Main/Ghostapo and whatever its Soviet equivalent might be.
18th May '16 7:34:29 PM Nakuyabi
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--> An American, a French guy and a Russian are on death row. They are put into empty detention cells, given two large steel spheres each and told to do something extraordinary with them, in which case they will be free. On the next morning, their captors check on them. The American managed to put one sphere on top of the other. "Nice", say the judges. The Frenchman learned to juggle them every way possible. "Impressive," is the reaction. The Russian sits, holding his head in despair. "What's the matter? Where the hell are your spheres?" judges say, astonished. He replies: "I broke one and lost the other".

to:

--> An American, a French guy and a Russian are on death row. They are put into empty detention cells, given two large steel spheres each and told to they will be released if they can do something extraordinary with them, in which case they will be free. On the them. The next morning, their captors check on them. The American has managed to put balance one sphere perfectly on top of the other. "Nice", "Clever," say the judges. judges, and they let him go. The Frenchman learned to juggle does a show in which he juggles them every way possible. "Impressive," is say the reaction. The Russian sits, judges, and they let him go. When they come to the Russian, they find him sitting there holding his head in despair. "What's the matter? Where the hell are Where'd your spheres?" spheres go?" the judges say, ask him, astonished. He replies: "I "[[EpicFail I broke one and lost the other".
other.]]" [[RuleOfThree "Incredible!" say the judges,]] [[SoBadItsGood and they let him go.]]
13th Apr '16 4:36:05 PM MAI742
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----> '''A''': You kill a bunch of Armenian coffee beans, then [[WouldBeRudeToSayGenocide lie about it for a hundred years]].

to:

----> '''A''': You kill grind up a bunch of million Armenian coffee beans, then [[WouldBeRudeToSayGenocide lie about it for a hundred years]].century]].
13th Apr '16 4:07:21 PM MAI742
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*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics Technically, black is not a colour.]] [[DontExplainTheJoke It is the absence of light, and so by definition it cannot be a colour.]][[/note]]

to:

*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics Technically, black is not a colour.Physicists hate blacks...]] as 'colours'. [[DontExplainTheJoke It Actual black is the absence of light, and so by definition it cannot be a colour.colour. So-called 'black' colours are, therefore, not actually black.]][[/note]]
13th Apr '16 4:04:04 PM MAI742
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*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics If you ask a physicist, black is not actually a colour.]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Quite the contrary, while white is all colours mixed, black is all colours missing.]][[/note]]

to:

*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics If you ask a physicist, Technically, black is not actually a colour.]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Quite It is the contrary, while white is all colours mixed, black is all colours missing.absence of light, and so by definition it cannot be a colour.]][[/note]]
13th Apr '16 3:57:30 PM MAI742
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** Stirlitz had a thought. He liked it, so he had another one.

to:

** Stirlitz had a thought. He liked it, so he had another one.another.



** Stirlitz, walking down the corridor, subtly pushed the door of Bormann's office. The door didn't move. Stirlitz stopped, looked around and pushed harder. No effect. "Hmm... It must be closed", Stirlitz deducted.

to:

** Stirlitz, walking down the corridor, subtly pushed the door of Bormann's office. office as he passed it. The door didn't move.budge. Stirlitz stopped, looked around and pushed harder. No effect. "Hmm... It it must be closed", Stirlitz deducted.deduced.



---> Stirlitz, walking down the corridor, subtly pushed the door of Bormann's office. The door didn't move. Stirlitz stopped, looked around and pushed harder. No effect.
---> '''Narrator's voiceover:''' [[DoorDumb Pull, you idiot!]]

to:

---> Stirlitz, walking down the corridor, subtly pushed the door of Bormann's office. The door didn't move. Stirlitz stopped, looked around and pushed harder. No To no effect.
---> '''Narrator's voiceover:''' [[DoorDumb Pull, ''Pull'', you idiot!]]



*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics If you ask a physicist, black is no colour.]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Quite the contrary, while white is all colours mixed, black is all colours missing.]][[/note]]

to:

*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics If you ask a physicist, black is no not actually a colour.]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Quite the contrary, while white is all colours mixed, black is all colours missing.]][[/note]]
8th Mar '16 7:50:39 AM aurora-australis
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*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics If you ask a physicist, black is no colour.]][[Don'tExplainTheJoke Quite the contrary, while white is all colours mixed, black is all colours missing.]][[/note]]

to:

*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics If you ask a physicist, black is no colour.]][[Don'tExplainTheJoke ]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Quite the contrary, while white is all colours mixed, black is all colours missing.]][[/note]]
8th Mar '16 7:49:43 AM aurora-australis
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*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics If you ask a physicist, black is no colour.]] [[Don'tExplainTheJoke Quite the contrary, while white is all colours mixed, black is all colours missing.]][[/note]]

to:

*** And so many blacks, at that![[note]][[ArtisticLicensePhysics If you ask a physicist, black is no colour.]] [[Don'tExplainTheJoke ]][[Don'tExplainTheJoke Quite the contrary, while white is all colours mixed, black is all colours missing.]][[/note]]
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