History Main / RamblingOldmanMonologue

* ''TheOrderOfTheStick'' [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0218.html #218]] ends with an old man starting, and only finishing [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0222.html four strips later]] because he gets home.

* Early in ''{{Beetlejuice}}'', Adam runs into his hardware store, saying hello to the old barber next door, who starts talking - when Adam leaves, the barber is still talking...

So you wanna know what a RamblingOldManMonologue is? Well, just [[{{Diablo}} stay a while and listen]]. Back in my day, we didn't have these fancy wikis to find out what a RamblingOldManMonologue was all about. We had to use newsgroups! You'd post on the newsgroup asking the question, and pretty soon you'd have about 50 replies, [[GodwinsLaw half of them about Hitler]], and the other ones telling you to look it up yourself, it's been asked and archived! Then you'd have to dig through Dejanews to find out the answer to your question, that was back before they were bought by Google. Now Google seems to own everything, they got the browser, and the phones, and the street maps so they can see what you're doing all the time. It's like 1984, in a friendly multicolored palette, I tell you. I remember that year. I was younger than you back then, just a kid watching ''{{Transformers}}'' and ''{{Thundercats}}'' and ''GIJoe'', and now you see them on the big screen and they're nothing like they used to be, nope. Nothing at all.

* Grandpa Reg in ''PhineasAndFerb'' is prone to these...and interestingly, his not-so-old son, Phineas and Ferb's dad Laurence, seems to have inherited the tendency.

* ''StarTrekTheNextGeneration:'' Captain Picard recalls a seminar where the elderly Dr. Fesbender went off one such speech. It was really quite hypnotic.

* One sidequest in the second ''PaperMario'' game required you to listen to one of these (from Petalburg's mayor, old man Kroop). The reward wasn't very good.

* One sidequest in the second ''PaperMario'' game required you to listen to one of these. The reward wasn't very good.

** FrigeLogic: His victims are, at least chronological-wise, older than him.
* In TheMovie of ''YuGiOhTheAbrigedSeries'', Yugi's grandpa launches into one of these that turns into a LongList.

* In one episode of ''Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abriged Series'', Yugi's Grandpa launches into one of these that turns into a LongList.

* Likewise, MarkTwain's ''The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County'' is made of this trope.

So you wanna know what a RamblingOldManMonologue is? Well, just [[{{Diablo}} stay a while and listen]]. Back in my day, we didn't have these fancy wikis to find out what a RamblingOldManMonologue was all about. We had to use newsgroups! You'd post on the newsgroup asking the question, and pretty soon you'd have about 50 replies, [[GodwinsLaw half of them about Hitler]], and the other ones telling you to look it up yourself, it's been asked and archived! Then you'd have to dig through Dejanews to find out the answer to your question, that was back before they were bought by Google. Now Google seems to own everything, they got the browser, and the phones, and the street maps so they can see what you're doing all the time. It's like ''[[NineteenEightyFour 1984]], in a [[CrapsaccharineWorld friendly multicolored palette]], I tell you. I remember that year. I was younger than you back then, just a kid watching ''{{Transformers}}'' and ''{{Thundercats}}'' and ''GIJoe'', and now you see them on the big screen and they're nothing like they used to be, nope. Nothing at all.

So you wanna know what a RamblingOldManMonologue is? Well, just [[{{Diablo}} stay a while and listen]]. Back in my day, we didn't have these fancy wikis to find out what a RamblingOldManMonologue was all about. We had to use newsgroups! You'd post on the newsgroup asking the question, and pretty soon you'd have about 50 replies, half of them about Hitler, and the other ones telling you to look it up yourself, it's been asked and archived! Then you'd have to dig through Dejanews to find out the answer to your question, that was back before they were bought by Google. Now Google seems to own everything, they got the browser, and the phones, and the street maps so they can see what you're doing all the time. It's like 1984, in a friendly multicolored palette, I tell you. I remember that year. I was younger than you back then, just a kid watching ''{{Transformers}}'' and ''{{Thundercats}}'' and ''GIJoe'', and now you see them on the big screen and they're nothing like they used to be, nope. Nothing at all.

You know, sometimes I miss watching those cartoons. Of course, some naysayers used to accuse them of being nothing but half-hour long toy commercials, but I don't care much about what critics say anyhow. They were fun, and if they sold a bunch of toys, well, where's the harm in that anyway? I used to own those toys, too, even though they were aimed at kids a couple of years younger than I was. What can I say, they were fun to play around with, and when you finally realized you were too old for them you just passed them on to your younger brother or sister and they enjoyed them for a while.

Now that I think about it, I think my brother's kids are still playing with one or two of those toys to this day. Made them to last, back then. Not like today when things are designed to break after just a couple of days once a kid gets their hands on it. Back then, when they [[TonkaTough built a toy]], they really built it, know what I mean? Of course in those days most toys were made out of steel and aluminum and not plastic like they are made today.

Oh, did I do it again? Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh, yes, I remember. Anyway, it'll mix in admonitions of today's youth with fond recollections of the past, anecdotes about fashion, detours into politics, and pretty much any other subject imaginable. Not that there's anything wrong with todays youth per se, or that fashions of the past were all that better... though now that you mention it I'm not sure I cotten to what young girls these days call "being fully dressed". Why, in my day you only found women going around showing as much skin as girls do today in hoochie coochie shows. Not that I ever attended many hoochie coochie shows. Just that one time with my Navy buddies, and I suppose that can be excused, you know, what with the War and all. Its just that sometimes it seems these days that you young people just weren't raised the same as we were back then. Different times, I suppose.

I remember one time... must have been back in, oh, I figure 1973 or maybe 1974... I think it was while Gerry Ford was president, so when was that anyway? I guess it doesn't matter. Anyhow, I was talking to my neighbor George and he commented on how the kids from down the block had been playing that disco music at all hours of the night and how he was getting tired of it and wanted to call the cops. I said to him, "Now, George, remember how our folks were back when we were listening to Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper." But then I remembered that George had always been more into singers like Buck Owens and Ernest Tubbs than Buddy Holly, so I don't think I scored any points there.

Hmmm? Yes, I was getting to that. Almost invariably, the target of the monologue is too polite to interrupt, and the old man seems to have mastered the art of talking without breathing, since despite his slow pace he never so much as pauses. I think that's just a matter of having respect for your elders, really, something that is sometimes a rare commodity these days, if you know what I mean. Now, I don't blame the kids. It was the way they were raised, what with the television and the video games and that rock and roll music of theirs.

So you wanna know what a RamblingOldManMonologue is? Well, just stay a while and listen. Back in my day, we didn't have these fancy wikis to find out what a RamblingOldManMonologue was all about. We had to use newsgroups! You'd post on the newsgroup asking the question, and pretty soon you'd have about 50 replies, half of them about Hitler, and the other ones telling you to look it up yourself, it's been asked and archived! Then you'd have to dig through Dejanews to find out the answer to your question, that was back before they were bought by Google. Now Google seems to own everything, they got the browser, and the phones, and the street maps so they can see what you're doing all the time. It's like 1984, in a friendly multicolored palette, I tell you. I remember that year. I was younger than you back then, just a kid watching ''{{Transformers}}'' and ''{{Thundercats}}'' and ''GIJoe'', and now you see them on the big screen and they're nothing like they used to be, nope. Nothing at all.

* In one episode of ''YuGiOhTheAbrigedSeries'', Yugi's Grandpa launches into one of these that turns into a LongList.

* Oldbag from ''AceAttorney'' does these so fast that they are sometimes [[UnreadablyFastText unreadable]].

* Coleridge's ''{{The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner}}'' is an example, from 1798. Making this OlderThanRadio.

* The Stranger from ''TheBigLebowski does this.

* Coleridge's ''The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner'' is an example, from 1798. Making this OlderThanRadio.

* ''EverQuest'' had an NPC called Old Man McKenzie. The official description of him is: "Old Man McKenzie, a frequent patron of the taverns in the Plane of Knowledge, thinks you adventurers have it too easy these days! Back in his day they didn't have all this fancy armor and magical weaponry, they relied on their wits and not a little luck to survive! Think you've got what it takes to survive in McKenzie's Gold era?"

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* The Stranger from ''TheBigLebowski does this.