History Main / PolishTheTurd

* AdvertisingByAssociation: Find anyone associated in the production who was involved in something people liked, and slap the name of that thing all over your advertising. This works particularly well, because it leaves ambiguity for ''how'' involved they were. "From the Writer that Brought You" doesn't tell you how many times the initially decent script got rewritten into unrecognizability, "From the Producer that Brought You" can mean that they simply sent in a check and didn't show up to the studio afterward, and "From the Studio that Brought You" can mean sharing anything from half the production staff to some members of the camera crew and marketing department.

* Since UsefulNotes/{{Steam}} only allows users to review individual games and doesn't display any ratings for bundles, some poorly-reviewed games, such as the PC ports of ''Pro Evolution Soccer 2016'' and ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamKnight'', have been reissued as single-game bundles to conceal the lack of value.

* ''WebVideo/{{Rerez}}'' points out how the ''UsefulNotes/GameCom'' heavily advertised its speech capabilities to cover up the fact that the thing was far less impressive graphically and gameplay-wise than even the ''UsefulNotes/GameBoy'':

* ''WebVideo/{{Jontron}}'' mocks the infamous ''[[VideoGame/{{Bubsy}} Bubsy 3D]]'' for this, noting how they listed the most basic of "features" a platforming game could have, such as running, jumping, swimming, and extra lives, [[AsbestosFreeCereal as selling-points on the back of the box]].

* When all else fails, you can always go for [[VoteEarlyVoteOften ballot-stuffing.]] Sites like IMDB, Metacritic, Flixster, Rotten Tomatoes, and Letterboxd include user scores, which are pretty easy to throw armies of unpaid interns or bots at. For some idea of how well this can work, ''Film/TheOogielovesInTheBigBalloonAdventure'''s IMDB score jumped up from averaging 2/10 to averaging 8/10 over the course of thousands of breathless, copypasted, 10/10 reviews. IMDB listings that filter out clear bot or troll accounts (for instance, accounts that have only reviewed one film), such as the Bottom 100, [[https://prod-content-care-community-cdn.sprinklr.com/26653d1b-7bb8-47bf-ac21-90f16f2e4b48/RackMultipart2017061895845cted-95d98343-e481-4396-8100-6c1f24350c71-1456818491.PNG1497752959 showed its true grade at the 2/10 range]] - and indeed, now the site seems to outright discard [[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1520498/ratings/?ref_=tt_ov_rt those fake 10s]].

* Your remedy doesn't work, but it ''does'' have unpleasant side effects? Claim that if the user has the side effect, it means that their body is "healing" or "cleansing" itself.

** Alternatively, claim "historical accuracy", even if the plot is set in, say, contemporary New York.

Note that the special effects industry uses a similar term, "turd polishing", in reference to [[StylisticSuck ensuring the high-quality appearance of something that is]] ''[[StylisticSuck intended]]'' [[StylisticSuck to look ugly.]] Therefore, that is not this trope. Do not confuse either with [[IncrediblyLamePun turds from Poland.]] Also has nothing ''inherently'' to do with SolidGoldPoop, although it may be subjected to this treatment.

* Blame the misfortunes of your city/state/province/country on any number of AcceptableTargets, such as [[EatTheRich the wealthy elite]], [[KillThePoor the poor always clamoring for more]], etc. If you run out of AcceptableTargets, go after less acceptable ones. (Can easily overlap with the above point.)

** Sony went the extra mile by creating a ''fake'' critic, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Manning_(fictitious_writer) "David Manning"]], to attribute marketing-developed quotes to, and eventually agreed to refund customers' tickets for polishing ''Film/HollowMan'', ''Film/TheAnimal'', ''Film/ThePatriot'', ''Film/AKnightsTale'', and ''Film/VerticalLimit''.

** ''Film/HotShots'' parodied this with an ad that admitted that its makers were paying off audience members in exchange for raves, which foreshadowed the death of the practice when — as part of the David Manning scandal — it was revealed that Sony had hired actors to play audience members in an ad for ''Film/ThePatriot''.

* NeverMyFault: For works of fiction, blame the audience! It's not a bad work and it's not bad that key elements were changed or a fan-favorite was KilledOffForReal; fans are just entitled [[{{Manchild}} manchildren]] who don't like it because things were changed, are selfish elitists who are mad it didn't give them exactly what they wanted, or are "ists" because they didn't like certain casting choices. Depict low audience scores as some sort of calculated {{Troll}}ing campaign or "review-bombing" to try and act like [[NoTrueScotsman only "toxic" fans didn't like it]], thus implying "everyone else did" to cover up that it simply wasn't that good of a work.

* Doctor turned comic writer [[Film/DoctorInTheHouse Richard Gordon]] recalls a reference for employment from a senior GP who once used him as a locum. The killer line was

* Blame the misfortunes of your city/state/province/country on any number of AcceptableTargets, such as [[EatTheRich the wealthy elite]], [[KillThePoor the poor always clamoring for more]], etc. If you run out of AcceptableTargets, go after less [[UnacceptableTargets acceptable ones]]. (Can easily overlap with the above point.)

** Creator/ScottAdams wrote an entire Dilbert-themed book, ''The Way of the Weasel'', explaining how language may be misused to sell crap and to make bad situations look way better than they are.

[[folder:Video Game]]

So what do you do? You try your best to [[DarthWiki/WorseThanItSounds make it look better than it is]] and hope that it's effective enough to sell a few million copies.

* Find handful of moderately, but not too popular youtubers or review channels and simply provide them with gift copies and pre-release access. The combination of the gifting and legal papers signed to get it will be more than enough to make them praise your game, offering free marketing buzz.

* Blame the misfortunes of your city/state/province/country on any number of AcceptableTargets, such as [[EatTheRich the wealthy elite]], [[KillThePoor the poor always clamoring for more]], etc. If you run out of AcceptableTargets, go after [[OnceAcceptableTargets less]] [[UnacceptableTargets acceptable ones]]. (Can easily overlap with the above point.)

* The Working Joes in ''VideoGame/AlienIsolation'' look like [[UncannyValley the unholy spawn]] of ''Advertising/TheCrashDummies'' and the ''Music/BlueManGroup'', and basically seem to act like [[UsefulNotes/MicrosoftOfficeAssistant Clippy]] piloting a mannequin, because Seegson Synthetics was ''way'' behind the Weyland-Yutani Corporation's line of Synthetics and simply couldn't catch up. Thus, they spun it with the claim "[[{{Slogan}} with the Working Joes, you always know exactly what you're dealing with]]" to feed into general mistrust of human-looking androids and try and claim it's a feature. Nobody is fooled, these things only seem to be found in Seegson-owned operations, and even Amanda comments that "no wonder Seegson is losing the tech race" the first time she sees one of these things.

* A week after the musical ''Subways Are For Sleeping'' opened on Broadway to critical disdain, an ad appeared in the ''New York Herald Tribune'' trumpeting "7 Out of 7 Are Ecstatically Unanimous About ''Subways Are For Sleeping''", quoting rave reviews alongside the names of New York's major drama critics. This ad was the work of the show's producer, David Merrick, who had explored the phone books and found seven men who happened to have [[NamesTheSame the same names]] as the theatre critics. (Merrick had been planning something of this sort for years, but it could not have been pulled off before the 1960 retirement of longtime ''New York Times'' critic Brooks Atkinson, whose name was unique.) The ''Herald Tribune'' published an apology (other newspapers had perhaps wisely rejected the ad), but what was done was done.

* Tell people your product or service [[StartingFrom starts at X amount]] (but they'll have to pay more for the version they ''really'' want), they can have it for [[PaymentPlanPitch just pennies a day]], or that the payment can be split up into X "easy payments."

* WereStillRelevantDammit: Get the 18-35 demographic by tapping into the latest fads and topics. [[UnintentionalPeriodPiece Who cares if the show looks dated]], you can always update it!

* As pointed out at Wiki/TheOtherWiki, ''Theatre/CrissAngelBelieve'' was roundly condemned by critics, so the Luxor (its host casino-resort) website instead quotes [[http://www.luxor.com/entertainment/entertainment_believe.aspx celebrities who attended the show]] — one of whom, Holly Madison, was ''Criss' lover'' at the time it opened.

* '''[[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible Interpretation.]]''' [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Describe it as post-modern]].