History Main / OnceKilledAManWithANoodleImplement

* ''Film/TheDarkKnight'': The Joker's magic trick. "I'm going to make this pencil disappear... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QehZjjwb7-I TA-DA! It's gone.]]"

* This exchange from ''Series/{{Castle}}'':

* In [[Series/DoctorWho Melody Malone]], River Song tells the reader that she once killed someone with a fedora.

* In the comic neo-noir ''Literature/MrBlank'', Tariq Suliman the notorious assassin, once stabbed a guy to death ''with a pillow.''

* In ''Literature/TheBalladOfSongbirdsAndSnakes'', Bobbin (District 8's male tribute in the Tenth Hunger Games) claims to know five ways of killing someone with a sewing needle. However, no further details are given, so he may or may not have been exaggerating.

* ''Series/ThirdRockFromTheSun'': "I should warn you that I have killed men with everything from a steak knife, to a penny dropped from a skyscraper!"

* Lina's sister Luna Inverse from ''LightNovel/{{Slayers}}'' is often said to have slain a dragon with a butter knife.

* Being both an ImprobableWeaponUser and a PsychoForHire, [[Comicbook/{{Daredevil}} Bullseye]] has used pretty much every weapon available, including toothpicks and his own teeth.
-->'''Bullseye''': ''They keep me on a liquid diet and stool softeners because they're afraid if I have a solid bowel movement I'd kill someone with it. And I would, too. Just to say I did it.''
** The [[ComicBook/ThePunisherMAX MAX version]] of Bullseye is mentioned to have actually ''done this'' to somebody.
-->'''Bullseye''': ''I once tracked an Eskimo huntsman across 200 miles of frozen tundra on foot and killed him with an icicle made of my own frozen feces.''
* In ''ComicBook/TheDarkness'' Jackie once killed a guy [[EyeScream with chopsticks.]]
* Actually happens in Michael Fleisher's InNameOnly sequel to ''Harlem Heroes'' when Slice kills a man by throwing his ID card at his throat.
* One ''ComicBook/ThePunisherMAX'' mook is called Inky because he killed a man with a pen. [[EyeScream Subverted in that they describe, in great detail, how it happened]].
** In the main series, Frank once killed a man with nothing but his ''lunch'' (club sandwich, Mai Tai, and very hot salsa). Take the toothpick from the sandwich and leave it to soak in the salsa, insert it into the straw from the cocktail, and fire the improvised blowdart into a mobster's ear as you're walking past.
* ''ComicBook/JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac'' apparently did "horrible things with salad tongs".
* Played for humor in ''Professor Xavier and the X-Men'' #5, with a pair of random mercenaries' dialogue before the X-Men show up.

'''Mercenary B:''' D'you mean you can kill a guy who ''has'' a spoon -- or that you can kill a guy with your own personal spoon?
** And three pages later, after Iceman has dropped a huge slab of ice on them.
-->'''Mercenary A:''' [[Funny/XMen Must...reach...spoon.]]
* ''[[ComicBook/{{Asterix}} Asterix in Corsica]]'': One corsican is said to be so dumb that before he could grasp anything one could "stone a donkey to death with ripe figs".
* In ''ComicBook/ShadowWar'', this is referenced in ''ComicBook/DeathstrokeInc'' #8.
-->'''[[ComicBook/{{Deathstroke}} Slade]]:''' [[WallOfWeapons Those]] are instruments of death and destruction, ''Respawn''. Nothing that can take a life is ''ever'' a toy.\\
'''Respawn:''' You telling me you've never killed someone with an action figure?\\
'''Slade:''' [[{{Touche}} Okay, maybe.]]

[[folder:Fanfiction]]

** In [[Film/JohnWickChapter2 the sequel]], we get a CallBack when two men have that conversation again, and one of them {{Lampshades}} the improbability of it: "Who the fuck can do that?!" Later, [[spoiler:we get to see him do this. [[EyeScream It's not pretty.]]]]

** In [[Film/JohnWickChapter2 the sequel]], we get a CallBack when two men have that conversation again, and one of them {{Lampshades}} the improbability of it: "Who the fuck can do that?!" Later, [[spoiler:we get to see him do this. It's not pretty.]]

-->-- '''Viggo''' on the titular Wick, ''Film/JohnWick''

* In the main series, Frank once killed a man with nothing but his ''lunch'' (club sandwich, Mai Tai, and very hot salsa). Take the toothpick from the sandwich and leave it to soak in the salsa, insert it into the straw from the cocktail, and fire the improvised blowdart into a mobster's ear as you're walking past.

** this is less improbable than it sounds however. This was a real weapon used by pre-Bronze Age humans. Sharpened flint blades were bound into the tooth sockets, and then it was used as a sort of club. Although prone to breaking, it is highly likely to be lethal.

* ''Wiki/SCPFoundation'' provides us with SCP-076-2 aka. "Able" (who apparently is an [[Literature/TheBible Abel]] who CameBackWrong), who is, among his other incredibly lethal skills, capable of "breaking a man's jaw using a Nerf sword."

* The BigBad of ''VisualNovel/ApolloJusticeAceAttorney'' committed murder with [[GreivousBottleyHarm a grape juice bottle]], a poisoned stamp, and attempts murder with poisoned nail polish.

* ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'': Church relates how Tex once beat a man to death with his own skull early in Season 1. Season 14 [[spoiler:reveals that wasn't ''[[FakeMemories quite]]'' how it happened...though Private Jimmy [[DeathOfPersonality probably would have preferred that to his actual demise]].]]

* Some of the murder weapons in the ''Franchise/AceAttorney'' series can be very strange things no killer in their right mind would ever think of using to off someone. Of course, in the ''Ace Attorney'' universe, [[CloudCuckooland barely anyone]] ''[[CloudCuckooland is]]'' [[CloudCuckooland in their right mind]]. A notable example is the final murder weapon of ''[[VisualNovel/AceAttorneyInvestigationsMilesEdgeworth Investigations 2]]'', which is a [[spoiler:''hot air balloon'']]. And even ''that'' isn't as strange as what everyone originally ''thought'' killed the victim: [[spoiler:A {{Kaiju}} stepped on him]].

* Mercenary Tao Pie Pie from Manga/DragonBall is so skilled he can kill anyone with anything, when he is ordered to execute General Blue for his failures he tells him he'll only use his tongue, Blue finds this ridiculous, until he uses his tongue to pierce his skull, later he kills a tailor by poking him in the forehead.

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Ratatouille}}'', Sous-Chef Horst [[AmbiguousCriminalHistory is said to have served time in prison]], but every time someone asks him why [[MultipleChoicePast he tells a different story.]] These include robbing a bank with only a ballpoint pen, creating a hole in the ozone layer over Avignon, or having "killed a man...with ''this thumb!''" We never know for sure which story (if any) is true, but simply showing ''that thumb'' to Skinner is enough to scare him off.

* In ''Film/ShootEmUp'', Clive Owen kills two men with a carrot.

* In ''Film/TheGlimmerMan'', Creator/StevenSeagal's character kills a man with a credit card (which a camera close-up reveals to concealed razorblade embedded within.)

-->"With a ''fucking'' pencil."

->''"I once saw him[[note]]the titular John Wick[[/note]] kill three men in a bar... with a pencil. With a fucking. Pencil."''
-->-- '''Viggo''', ''Film/JohnWick''