->I once saw him kill three men in a bar... with a pencil. With a ''fucking. Pencil.''
-->--'''Viggo''', ''Film/JohnWick''

"[[ImprobableWeaponUser This trope]] once killed a man with a pair of galoshes."

"[[MusicalAssassin This trope]] once killed a man with a harmonica."

"[[LethalChef This trope]] once killed a man with a bowl of chicken soup!"

"[[ThePenIsMightier This trope]] once killed a man with a ''ballpoint pen!''"

"Yeah? Well ''this'' trope once killed a man...''''' [[NoodleImplements with two paper clips, some fishing line, and a rubber band!]]'''''"

Few things can establish one's badass cred quite like [[ARealManIsAKiller claiming to have killed someone]] with something ''no one'' would think of as a weapon of any sort, let alone a lethal one.

Compare CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon and ImprovisedWeapon. May overlap with ThePenIsMightier.

A BadassBoast Trope. Can also be a StockPhrase.


[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* Used in the English dub of ''Webcomic/AxisPowersHetalia'', when Germany is angry with Italy for sleeping late.
--> '''Germany:''' I once killed a man in his sleep with his own mustache and a grape.
* In ''Manga/SayonaraZetsubouSensei'', Nozomu has heard of a soldier who once took down an enemy battalion with only a volume of ''Manga/KimagureOrangeRoad''.
* Lina's sister Luna Inverse from ''LightNovel/{{Slayers}}'' is often said to have slain a dragon with a butter knife.
* In ''WebAnimation/FiftyPercentOff'', an AbridgedSeries of ''Anime/{{Free}}'', [[FanNickname Thugisa]] claims to have once killed a man with a Speak-N-Spell.
* While Kirika Yumura of ''Anime/{{Noir}}'' prefers to use her gun, if necessary, she will use anything she can get her hands on to take her enemies down. The list of non-weapon items she has killed people with includes neckties, forks, her student ID, and a toy truck. She has also wounded a man with his own sunglasses and used popcorn as a targeting aid.
* Some murder cases in ''Manga/DetectiveConan'' involve impossible weapons. In Shinichi's very first case, the murder weapon turned out to be a bra wire.

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* Being both an ImprobableWeaponUser and a PsychoForHire, [[Comicbook/{{Daredevil}} Bullseye]] has used pretty much every weapon available, including toothpicks and his own teeth.
-->'''Bullseye''': ''They keep me on a liquid diet and stool softeners because they're afraid if I have a solid bowel movement I'd kill someone with it. And I would, too. Just to say I did it.''
** The [[ComicBook/ThePunisherMAX MAX version]] of Bullseye is mentioned to have actually ''done this'' to somebody.
-->'''Bullseye''': ''I once tracked an Eskimo huntsman across 200 miles of frozen tundra on foot and killed him with an icicle made of my own frozen feces.''
* In ''ComicBook/TheDarkness'' Jackie once killed a guy [[EyeScream with chopsticks.]]
* Actually happens in Michael Fleisher's InNameOnly sequel to ''Harlem Heroes'' when Slice kills a man by throwing his ID card at his throat.
* One ''ComicBook/ThePunisherMAX'' mook is called Inky because he killed a man with a pen. [[EyeScream Subverted in that they describe, in great detail, how it happened]].
* In the main series, Frank once killed a man with nothing but his ''lunch'' (club sandwich, Mai Tai, and very hot salsa). Take the toothpick from the sandwich and leave it to soak in the salsa, insert it into the straw from the cocktail, and fire the improvised blowdart into a mobster's ear as you're walking past.
* ''ComicBook/JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac'' apparently did "horrible things with salad tongs".
* Played for humor in ''Professor Xavier and the X-Men'' #5, with a pair of random mercenaries' dialogue before the X-Men show up.
-->'''Mercenary A:''' I ''hate'' this! I'm a trained mercenary! I know 64 ways to kill a guy with a spoon and I'm stuck guarding an electric generator.\\
'''Mercenary B:''' D'you mean you can kill a guy who ''has'' a spoon -- or that you can kill a guy with your own personal spoon?
** And three pages later, after Iceman has dropped a huge slab of ice on them.
-->'''Mercenary A:''' [[Funny/XMen Must...reach...spoon.]]

* In an ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'' and ''Manga/BattleRoyale'' crossover. Sakaki's weapon of choice was a plush cat (she didn't really think it through), but at least she picked up a sickle from a fallen opponent later. Osaka chose a paper fan. [[spoiler:She ''won'' - and that despite her not realizing that she was allowed to take better weapons from those she'd killed.]] She also makes a remark about considering using a rubber band, and is infamous as the dreaded 'Ayumu "Paper-clip" Kasuga'. Really.
* A variation of this occurs in ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3891630/1/Love_and_the_Art_of_War Love and the Art of War]]'' in a more casual setting than normally seen.
-->'''Nanao:''' You could probably kill someone with a paper crane...
-->'''Zaraki:''' Only by ramming it down their throat.
* In the ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' DarkFic ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2762511/1/A-Shattered-Prophecy A Shattered Prophecy]]'' [[HeroKiller Harry]], [[TheDragon the Dark Lord's assassin]], kills one of the Aurors guarding him by shoving a feather quill into his throat.
* In ''FanFic/{{Housemates}}'', Loki decides that Coulson could kill someone with a Swiss army knife... or Jane Foster's bunny slippers.
* Sam Wilson asserts in ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/1430413 Selfies From The Underground]]'' that Bucky Barnes once killed a man with a shoe and a rubber band.
* ''FanFic/TheSomewhatCrackedMindOfUchihaItachi'': Yoshino Nara (Shikamaru's mother), during the Invasion, kills a guy with her ''sandal''.
* In ''FanFic/TheWinxClubLoops'' the Patchamen once killed a skilled warrior by beating him to death with napkins-and that's without being Loopers. {{Justified}} because they're ninja, and insanely good ones at that.

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Ratatouille}}'', Sous-Chef Horst is said to have served time in prison, but every time someone asks him why [[MultipleChoicePast he tells a different story.]] These include robbing a bank with only a ballpoint pen, creating a hole in the ozone layer over Avignon, or having "killed a man...with ''this thumb!''" We never know for sure which story (if any) is true, but simply showing ''that thumb'' to Skinner is enough to scare him off.
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSecretLifeOfPets'', when Max and Duke are forced to make up a story about how they "killed" their previous owners, they claim to have used a spoon. Subverted when Snowball doesn't believe them, claiming it's impossible to kill someone with a spoon, and they hurriedly change their story to explain that they used the spoon to turn on a blender.

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* In ''Film/TheChroniclesOfRiddick'', upon coming across several guys menacing his friend Kyra, Riddick threatens to kill the ringleader with a teacup. [[NotHyperbole And he does it.]] As the dead guy's friends stare in disbelief, he takes out a ''sardine can key'', and sets it, slowly and meaningfully, on the same rock where the teacup was, then gives them a look that clearly says, "Who's next?"
* Del Preston's story from ''Film/WaynesWorld2''.
--> ''"But the shop owner and his son, that's a different story altogether... I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. [[IDidWhatIHadToDo Nasty business, really]]."''
* In ''Film/{{Daredevil}}'' Bullseye kills a guy with "darts" made from straightened paper clips. Later he kills someone with a peanut.
* ''Film/TheDarkKnight'': The Joker's magic trick. "I'm going to make this pencil disappear... [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QehZjjwb7-I TA-DA! It's gone.]]"
* The two {{jerkass}} agents in ''Series/GetSmart'' once threatened this.
-->'''Agent #1''': You know, I can kill you with anything in this room. You wanna die by Post-It? ''Because I can make that happen''.
-->'''Agent #2''': And that's a ''slow'' death.
* In ''Film/TheGlimmerMan'', Creator/StevenSeagal's character kills a man with a credit card.
* The protagonist of ''Film/GrossePointeBlank'' once killed the President of Paraguay with a fork. Later, he kills an assassin sent for him with a ballpoint pen.
* PlayedForLaughs in the ([[SoBadItsGood really quite awful]]) film ''Film/StudentBodies'' where the (at this point) faceless killer searches through a drawer of guns, knives, garrotes, and implements of destruction and comes up with... a paperclip, which he then uses to kill his first (or thereabouts) victim.
* In ''Film/ShootEmUp'', Clive Owen kills a man with a carrot. ''Twice''.
** [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant What,]] [[AmbiguousSyntax the same man?]]
* ''Film/JohnWick'':
** In the first movie, Viggo claims to have seen John kill three men [[ThePenIsMightier with a pencil]] during a bar fight.
-->"With a ''fucking'' pencil."
** In [[Film/JohnWickChapter2 the sequel]], we get a CallBack when two men have that conversation again, and one of them {{Lampshades}} the improbability of it: "Who the fuck can do that?!" Later, [[spoiler:we get to see him do this. It's not pretty.]]
* From ''Film/{{Sleeper}}'': "I just beat a man insensible with a strawberry!" Granted, it was a ''giant'' strawberry...

* In Literature/{{Animorphs}}' ''The Separation'', Mean Rachel happily tells Nice Rachel how she beat up an army of Hork-Bajir ''with her own severed (bear) arm''.
* In the literary chronicle of Truman Capote, ''In Cold Blood'', Dick Hyckock decided to ask Perry Smith to help him with his "hit" because Perry told him that once he killed a black man by hitting him with a bicycle chain, "[[ForTheEvulz just for fun]]".
* The protagonist of Trevanian's novel ''Literature/{{Shibumi}}'', Nicholaï Hel is skilled in a martial art which involves the use of ordinary objects as lethal weapons.
* In [[Series/DoctorWho Melody Malone]], River Song tells the reader that she once killed someone with a fedora.
* In ''Discworld/MakingMoney'', Mr. Bent performs AssassinOutclassin. With ''balloon animals''. It turns out "battle clowning", a martial art that incorporates slapstick staples, is an ancient tradition in the fools guild and he's something of a savant in it despite not being a member.
* In the comic neo-noir ''Literature/MrBlank'', Tariq Suliman the notorious assassin, once stabbed a guy to death ''with a pillow.''
* In ''[[Literature/XWingSeries Iron Fist]]'', Wraith Squadron medic Ton Phanan is shown [[DeadlyDoctor killing someone with a laser scalpel]]. He later mentions that, under the right circumstances, he could also kill with his bandages, disinfectant sprays, tranquilizers, and even ''bacta treatments''.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* ''Series/ThirdRockFromTheSun'': "I should warn you that I have killed men with everything from a steak knife, to a penny dropped from a skyscraper!"
* From ''Series/{{Angel}}'':
-->'''Spike:''' I had a wee spat with a werewolf myself once. Fought for over an hour. Brutal, vicious. Almost lost my -
-->'''Fred:''' Angel killed him with a ''[[ThePenIsMightier pen]]''.
* In the first episode of ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', Buffy mentions having once killed a vampire using only an exacto knife.
** She also uses a pencil once, somewhere along the line.
* ''Series/{{Leverage}}'' has Elliot describe a fellow hitter doing this. Elliot himself has also killed a man with an appetizer and another with a ''nerf sword''.
-->'''Eliot Spencer''': She'd mop the floor with you, Hardison
-->'''Alec Hardison''': I don't care.
-->'''Eliot Spencer''': Seriously, she actually killed a guy once with a mop. It's a funny story, actually. She broke the mop and took...
* On ''Series/{{NCIS}}'', Ziva David boasted that she can kill a man eighteen different ways with a paperclip. Safety recommends she be believed.
** And from the episode "Jet Lag":
-->'''Ziva David:''' And plastic silverware is not as safe as you may think. I once killed a man with a credit card.
** In the same episode, she also states earphone cables could serve as a garrotte.
** She also told Tony, after he would not stop eating, that she would kill him with his spoon.
* In ''Series/XenaWarriorPrincess'', assassin Sinteres is said to be deadly with any weapon. King of Thieves Autolycus, posing as Sinteres, has to demonstrate this by killing a man with a thrown toothpick [[spoiler:although Xena's use of a grappling hook helped.]]
* This exchange from ''Series/{{Castle}}'':
-->'''Castle:''' This man is a machine. I've interviewed serial killers, hitmen. Agent Gray? By far, the most dangerous man I've ever met. He once killed a North Korean agent with a melonballer.
-->'''[[StealthHiBye Agent Gray]]:''' It was an ice cream scoop, Castle. And that information was supposed to remain private.
* ''Series/{{Victorious}}'': In the episode "Tori Fixes beck and Jade", Jade West corners Tori and Andre in a broom closet and threatens to kill them with a roll of toilet paper. Andre is left wondering how that's even possible, but he believes it enough to grab as many toilet paper rolls as he can hold.
* This conversation from ''Series/YesDear'':
-->'''Man:''' I'm really sorry to bother you, but my son Ronnie goes to school with your son Dominic.\\
'''Jimmy:''' I don't ever remember Dominic mentioning a Ronnie, have you?\\
'''Christine:''' No. He mentioned a ''Donnie'', but that's just because his father is some ex-Marine who came to school and bragged about how he killed a man with a single bullet. No gun, just a single bullet.
* Captain Archer of ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'' once stabs a Xindi with a statue of Zefram Cochrane.
* ''Series/{{Titus}}'': "Look in your medicine cabinet. Anything in there, my mom can kill you with it. Well, except moist towelettes, you know, with those, she can just MAIM YOU."

* Music/TomWaits, "Black Wings" from ''Music/BoneMachine'', which is his take on a [[Franchise/TheDarkTower Randall Flagg]] sort of a character:
--> ''Some say he once killed a man with a guitar string''
* Music/MeatLoaf in "Wasted Youth" from ''Bat Out of Hell [=II=]: Back Into Hell'':
--> ''...I was barely 17, and I once killed a boy with a Fender Guitar.''

[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
* In an early ''{{ComicStrip/Dilbert}}'' strip, Dilbert unintentionally killed the vice president of his company with an ''ear of corn'' when the other guy started a food fight. Dilbert apparently threw the corn hard enough to knock him out and he drowned in his soup. Later in jail, Dilbert's burly cellmate asks him why he's stuck there. Dilbert tells him that he killed a man with an ear of corn after being provoked. Cue the cellmate's OhCrap expression when they get ''corn on the cob'' for lunch.

[[folder:Religion and Mythology]]
* Samson from ''Literature/TheBible'' killed [[OneManArmy a thousand Philistine soldiers]] with a jawbone of an ass.
* Loki of Myth/NorseMythology tricked the blind Hodur into killing Baldur with a mistletoe ''twig''. Granted, Baldur was immune to everything else...

[[folder:Video Games]]
* In ''VideoGame/AlphaProtocol'', Steven Heck casually mentions that at sufficient velocity, soccer balls can decapitate people. He's also apparently killed [[DeathByIrony Vatican officials using communion wafers]], and at one point killed a man by impaling him with a ten-speed mountain bike.
* A minor NPC from ''VideoGame/ArcanumOfSteamworksAndMagickObscura'', a DeadlyDoctor, used a pen to stab a man to death.
* ''VideoGame/DwarfFortress'': A player once killed a bronze colossus by throwing a [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter fluffy wambler]] at its head, ''resulting in the head being torn clean off'' (see [[http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=56935.0 this forum thread]] for details). Actually you can kill something with just about anything if you are creative and/or persistent enough.
* In ''VideoGame/HalfLife2: Episode 2'', a Rebel-in-Training at the White Forest Base ([[FanNickname also called the AR3 Guy]]) first claims to have used [=AR3s=] (which don't exist), then claims to have killed Hunters (alien tripod cyborgs that are rather deadly) "with his own hands."
* Professor Mordin from ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'' once killed somebody with "farming equipment."
** Later revealed, according to the Shadow Broker's file on him, to be a pitchfork. Less odd of a weapon considering the namesake of the TorchesAndPitchforks trope, but how and who he killed makes up for it... through a '''''[[FoeTossingCharge charging]]''''' [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Krogan's]] [[EyeScream eye]].
* In ''MaxPayne'', when you finally meet Rico Muerte face to face, he's getting a blowjob from a hooker while telling this story:
-->'''Rico''': Two mad dog killers, ready to murder each other. They step into the next room, an' I'm thinkin', now they gonna do it. But no! They sit down in front of a tv an' solve their differences with a Kung-Fu fightin' videogame. I tell you, Candy, I was so depressed, I strangled them both with the videogame cables.
* In VideoGame/{{Psychonauts}}, if Raz shows Coach Oleander a button:
-->'''Raz:''' If you had a button, we could play tiddly-winks.
-->'''Oleander:''' If I had that button, I could kill you in six different ways.
* Wait long enough around the Dark Brotherhood in ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim'', and the radiant conversation engine will eventually lead to a discussion of one of the other assassins' rather...unique methods. Nothing is ever stated outright, but judging by the implements it's ''very'' heavily implied they suspended, then suddenly dropped the equivalent of a walrus onto three people and killed them.
-->''A horker, some twine, three wood elves, and a hatchet? Points for creativity, if nothing else.''
* Some of the murder weapons in the ''Franchise/AceAttorney'' series can be very strange things no killer in their right mind would ever think of using to off someone. Of course, in the ''Ace Attorney'' universe, [[CloudCuckooland barely anyone]] ''[[CloudCuckooland is]]'' [[CloudCuckooland in their right mind]]. A notable example is the final murder weapon of ''[[VisualNovel/AceAttorneyInvestigationsMilesEdgeworth Investigations 2]]'', which is a [[spoiler:''hot air balloon'']]. And even that isn't as strange to what everyone originally ''thought'' killed the victim: [[spoiler:A {{Kaiju}} stepped on him]].
* The home-built Rock-It Launcher in ''VideoGame/Fallout3'' is a high-velocity Noodle Implement launcher that turns ordinary Wasteland junk into lethal projectiles. Cutlery, books, spare parts, and even teddy bears can be used as Rock-It Launcher ammo. But the most useful ammo for it is ''[[CastFromMoney pre-war money]]'', because it weighs nothing in your inventory. It returns in ''VideoGame/Fallout4'', renamed the Junk Jet.

[[folder:Web Comics]]
* In ''Webcomic/TheDragonDoctors'', when Blue finally forces Frankie to spill the beans about his mobster boss Cary, [[http://dragondoctors.dhscomix.com/archives/comic/ch-16-page-30 he says she once boasted of killing a roomful of rival mobsters using only pocket change.]] It later turns out that [[spoiler:[[http://dragondoctors.dhscomix.com/archives/comic/ch-18-page-21 this was literally true]], thanks to a SuperStrength that somehow bypasses anti-magic fields.]]
* Azrael from the webcomic ''Webcomic/LifeAndDeath'' once killed Cthulhu with a gopher and a damp sponge.
* Fairbanks of ''Webcomic/SoreThumbs'' is proud of the fact that he killed two terrorists with a bowl of soup.
* Doythaban, from ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'', has killed people by spitting on them. And also by urinating on them. It helps that he was medically altered to have exploding saliva and to urinate high-strength acid. Don't ask about the shaped charges...
* In ''Webcomic/{{Erfworld}}'', Wanda refuses to let prisoner Jillian eat her sushi with chopsticks:
--->'''Wanda:''' You could croak a small army with them. And we only ''have'' a small army.
* Dan from ''[[Webcomic/DanAndMabsFurryAdventures DMFA]]'' has [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_116.php claimed]] [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_915.php twice]] to taken on deathknights (undead powered automations) with only a spork. One character implies that she may have even witnessed at least one of these incidents but offered no details.

[[folder:Web Original]]
* ''Literature/TheChroniclesOfTaras'' mentions that Taras Jacobs once killed a man with a Bowl of Old Nachos and a Golden Retriever Puppy.
-->'''Sandra''': "How?"
-->'''Taras''': "Huh? Oh, Uh, I don't know. I wasn't really paying much attention."
* Many Website/ChuckNorrisFacts.
-->There are 1,214 objects in an average room that Creator/ChuckNorris can kill you with, including the room itself.
* ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'': Church relates how Tex once beat a man to death with his own skull early in Season 1. Season 14 [[spoiler:reveals that wasn't ''[[FakeMemories quite]]'' how it happened...though Private Jimmy [[DeathOfPersonality probably would have preferred that to his actual demise]].]]
-->'''Tucker:''' How do you beat someone to death with their own skull? [[HowIsThatEvenPossible That doesn't seem physically possible]].
-->'''Church:''' That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.
-->'''Flashback!Jimmy:''' [[SharePhrase This doesn't seem physically possible!]]
* Creator/UrsulaVernon's ''House of Red Fireflies'' setting makes passing reference to a brothel madam who "once killed a god with a broken beer bottle".
* ''Wiki/SCPFoundation'' provides us with "Able" (yes, apparently [[Literature/TheBible THAT Able]]), who is, among his other incredibly lethal skills, capable of "breaking a man's jaw using a Nerf sword."

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks'' episode "Granddad's Fight":
-->'''Uncle Ruckus:''' Creator/JeanClaudeVanDamme's the best martial artist in the world. He killed a man with his butt cheek power.
* In ''WesternAnimation/DanVs'' "The Salvation Armed Forces," Dan tells his friend Chris that the bell ringer knows twelve ways to kill a man with a bell. Chris thinks about it, but can only come up with one.
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'': Roberto to Bender: "You ever killed a man with a sock? It ain't so hard..."
* ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'': Rusty Venture once killed a man with a housekey. [[HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood His father forced him to. He was ten.]]
-->'''Dean''': Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time, I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps!
-->'''Triana''': Did the guy's head get blown off?
-->'''Dean''': Yes it did.