History Main / InsaneTrollLogic

** ''VisualNovel/Danganronpa2'': [[spoiler:Mikan tries arguing (very poorly) that her double murder of Ibuki and Hiyoko wasn't her fault because everyone else obviously hates her and they drove her to do what she did by making her into her current self with their bullying, so everyone should just immediately forgive her. Never mind the fact that sans from Hiyoko literally everyone else in the of the cast shows no hostility towards Mikan, and in fact, most of them have shown her the exact opposite. This is also a doubly awful excuse, as she clearly picked her victims based on practicality- Ibuki was one of the friendliest girls in the class, but killed because her Gullibility Disease made her an easy target, while Hiyoko was the one person Mikan would be justified in being hostile towards, but was only killed because she accidentally witnessed Mikan setting up the crime]].

** ''VisualNovel/DanganRonpaV3'': Himiko is the Ultimate Magician who prefers being called the Ultimate Mage, and acts like she can perform real magic. This leads to her often claiming that things happened as a result of magic. [[spoiler:Gets to ludicrous degrees during the second class trial, as the body was discovered during Himiko's magic show. The first portion of the trial is spent with Himiko refusing to drop the "it was genuine magic" shtick, even though it was ''making her the prime suspect''. After Shuichi proves how the trick was done she ''still'' insists it was real magic, and that she's not a magician for the rest of the game.]]

* Dr. Bernardo from Woody Allen's ''Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask'':
-->Does it sound mad? That's what they called me at Masters and Johnson's clinic, mad. Because I had visions of explorations in sexual areas undreamed of by lesser human beings. It was I who first discovered how to make a man impotent by hiding his hat. I was the first one to explain the connection between excessive masturbation and entering politics. It was I who first said that the clitoral orgasm should not be only for women! They ridiculed me, said I was mad, haha! But I showed them. They threw me out of Masters and Johnson, no severance but, and I had it coming. But I showed them!

** Manfred von Karma has a similar line of logic in [[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney the first game]] (this is the same guy who wanted to have his ATM PIN (0001) entered into evidence as "proof" that he's perfect):
--->'''Phoenix:''' He remembered the name of his fiancee who committed suicide. [[ItMakesSenseInContext That's why he named his parrot after her!]]\\
'''Von Karma:''' My granddaughter has a dog she calls "Phoenix." Well, Mr. Phoenix Wright? Does this make you my granddaughter's fiancee!?

** In "[[Recap/BigFinishDoctorWho046FlipFlop Flip-Flop]]", the slug-like Slithergees make various proclamations to assert that they are a "prosecuted minority" even when they're basically in charge of the planet Punxatornee in one timeline (the other timeline has Punxatornee as a nuclear wasteland after a devastating war).
** In "[[Recap/BigFinishDoctorWho029TheChimesOfMidnight The Chimes of Midnight]]", the butler Shaughnessy argues that the impossible deaths depicted- including a woman drowning herself in the sink or another woman stuffing herself to death with her own plum pudding- happened because the victims were too stupid to realise that it was impossible to kill themselves that way.

-->'''Greg:''' But why don't we eat ''ONE'' of them? Because when you have two pears and you eat one pear, you still have two pears because [[{{Pun}} a pair is always]] ''[[{{Pun}} TWO]]''… so two pairs is actually 4 pears, and 4 pears is 8 pears, until you get to infinity. [[LittleKnownFacts That's just a common knowledge run of the mill]] [[CatchPhrase rock… fact…]]

* Music/TheLonelyIsland song "Threw It On The Ground" has a protagonist who's [[HairTriggerTemper oddly angered]] by being handed things, and responds by breaking them "on the ground." In one scene of the protagonist at the farmer's market with his "so-called girlfriend", she hands him her cellphone, stating it's his dad. He then throws it on the ground, because his dad's "not a phone! DUH!". In a previous scene, he throws a free hot dog [[note]]handed to him by a street vendor, who was just trying to show appreciation for his being a frequent customer[[/note]] on the ground because "What do I look like, a charity case? (...) I don't need your handouts!"

* Music/TheLonelyIsland song "Threw It On The Ground" has a protagonist who's [[HairTriggerTemper oddly angered]] by being handed things, and responds by breaking them "on the ground." In one scene of the protagonist at the farmer's market with his "so-called girlfriend", she hands him her cellphone, stating it's his dad. He then throws it on the ground, because his dad's "not a phone! DUH!". In a previous scene, he throws a free hot dog on the ground because "What do I look like, a charity case? (...) I don't need your handouts!"

* Throughout the ''Franchise/{{Saw}}'' movies, Jigsaw and his apprentices believe that surviving the DeathTrap{{s}} people are put in will cause them to appreciate life more. Failing to escape means they lack a survival instinct or don't appreciate their life enough. [[SarcasmMode Yeah, because becoming traumatized totally makes someone care more about their life]]. Simone, a survivor, calls the nonesense out at a survivor meeting in ''Film/Saw3D''.

** [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen The Empress of Blood]] knows that dragons get more powerful as they get bigger. However, she decided to make herself bigger by overeating. All this does is make her morbidly obese, but she still thinks it's working.

* A recurring Creator/AbbottAndCostello routine, used in ''In The Navy'' and ''Little Giant'', has Costello's character attempting to prove (three different ways) that 7 x 13 = 28. This equation is also quite common among their other acts as well. It was also used in Series/{{Yeralash}}.

--> "When you wait forever for the cable guy, you get bored. When you get bored, you start staring out windows. When you start staring out windows, [[HeKnowsTooMuch you see things you shouldn't see]]. When you see things you shouldn't see, you need to vanish. When you need to vanish, [[FakingTheDead you fake your own death]]. When you fake your own death, [[PaperThinDisguise you dye your eyebrows]]. And when you dye your eyebrows, you attend your own funeral as a guy named [[ClarkKenting Phil Shifley]]. [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named Phil Shifley.]] Get rid of cable, and upgrade to [=DirecTV=]. Call 1-800 [=DirecTV=]."

-->'''Pooh:''' Say Rabbit, how would it be if as soon as we are out of sight of this old pit we just try to find it again?
-->'''Rabbit:''' What's the good of that?
-->'''Pooh:''' Well, you see, we keep looking for home but we keep finding this pit. So I just thought that if we look for this pit we might find home.
-->'''Rabbit:''' I don't see much sense in that. If I walked away from this pit and walked back to here, of course I should find it! I'll prove it to you! Wait here!

-->'''Macron:''' How have I displeased you, Caesar? I have always been loyal to you!
-->'''Caligula:''' Exactly! You're an honest man and, therefore, a bad Roman. Meaning you're a traitor. It's logical.

--> Does it sound mad? That's what they called me at Masters and Johnson's clinic, mad. Because I had visions of explorations in sexual areas undreamed of by lesser human beings. It was I who first discovered how to make a man impotent by hiding his hat. I was the first one to explain the connection between excessive masturbation and entering politics. It was I who first said that the clitoral orgasm should not be only for women! They ridiculed me, said I was mad, haha! But I showed them. They threw me out of Masters and Johnson, no severance but, and I had it coming. But I showed them!

-->'''Evan:''' What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What are you trying to be, an Irish R&B singer?
-->'''Fogell:''' They let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
-->'''Seth:''' And you landed on [=McLovin=]?!
-->'''Fogell:''' Yeah, it was between that and Muhammad.
-->'''Seth:''' [beat] Why the [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]] would it be between that and Muhammad?! Why didn't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
-->'''Fogell:''' Muhammad is the most commonly used name on earth. Read a fucking book for once.
-->'''Evan:''' Have you ever actually met anyone named Muhammad?
-->'''Fogell:''' Have you ever actually met anyone named [=McLovin=]?
-->'''Seth:''' No, that's because you picked a dumb fucking name!
-->'''Fogell:''' Fuck you.

-->A bitch is a female dog.
-->Dogs bark.
-->Bark grows on trees.
-->Trees are part of nature.
-->Nature is beautiful. Thank you for the compliment.

-->Did you know I have eleven fingers?
-->You do?
-->Yes. Watch. (Begin counting backwards on the fingers of one hand.) Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... (Hold up all fingers of the opposite hand.) Plus five is eleven.

--> Mr. Bickersdyke, having said some nasty things about Free Trade and the Alien Immigrant, turned to the Needs of the Navy and the necessity of increasing the fleet at all costs.
--> 'This is no time for half-measures,' he said. 'We must do our utmost. We must burn our boats--'
--> ...
--> 'How,' asked Psmith, 'do you propose to strengthen the Navy by burning boats?'
--> The inanity of the question enraged even [[TheHeckler the pleasure-seekers]] at the back.

--> "''Sometimes at night, I walk the streets in disguise. I listen to them. I watch them, knowing I can do anything to them I want and no one can touch me. If I want to rape a woman or kill a man in an alley, I can. Sometimes I do. But it is evil. I know it. I try not to. Yet I feel that when I do these things there is something higher which acts'' through ''me. I am a child of God. Unworthy as I am, he created me and to him, I shall return. What I am, he wanted me to be. That is why I am good.''"

-->'''Olivia:''' Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you: besides, you grow dishonest.\\

--->'''Ko-Ko:''' When Your Majesty says "Let a thing be done", it's as good as done, practically it ''is'' done, because Your Majesty's will is law. Your Majesty says "Kill a gentleman", and a gentleman is told off to be killed. Consequently, that gentleman is as good as dead--practically he ''is'' dead, and if he ''is'' dead, why not say so?
--->'''The Mikado:''' I see. Nothing could possibly be more... ha-ha-ha, satisfactory!
*** Cue the DancePartyEnding

--->'''Edgeworth:''' Objection! Do you not see a problem with your statement just now?
--->'''Courtney:''' I'm afraid I see no such problem.
--->'''Edgeworth:''' Exactly. So if you fail to see the problem, then that must mean you fail to see the problem with accepting your logic! You're admitting that you can't comprehend your own logic?!
--->'''Courtney:''' The only thing I fail to see here, is your point.
--->'''Edgeworth:''' Nggh...! (Curses...! I guess I should have known that wouldn't work...)

---> '''Elan:''' Woo! I'm invisible! You can't see me!\\

---> "'Moon' has four letters. 'Fore' is what you shout in golf. Golf was invented in Scotland. Scottish descendants created [=McDonald's=]. Donald is a cartoon duck, and you know who didn't duck in time? ''Abraham Lincoln.''"

--> "Shakespeare has Caesar say 'Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.' Point is, if you get the equivalent one practice death a day, that's almost ''3'' years of training, just by being a coward!"

* Katarina in ''LightNovel/MyNextLifeAsAVillainessAllRoutesLeadToDoom'' used to be a "normal" schoolgirl who died and reincarnated as a noble who happens to also be an otome game villain. She recognizes the role she's in and takes steps to avoid the bad ends that may be in store for her, but these plans tend to be 'scare my fiancee with a toy snake before he can stab me' or 'learn to farm in case I get exiled.'

* ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}'': At one point, Sam Starfall decides to steal the satellites he's being paid to deliver. When he tries to figure out a good spot to hide them, Helix comes to the rescue: the best place to hide satellites is in orbit.
-->'''Sam:''' Hmm. Only people with a spaceship could get to them. We'd be able to keep an eye on them. And if we put them exactly where they're supposed to be, the owner won't notice we've stolen them. Helix, I like it! This is a crime so sneaky and so subtle, even I don't know if I'm actually committing it!

-->'''Brian:''' NOW [[BreakingPointSwearing FUCK OFF!!!]]

* Practically everyone in Franchise/{{Batman}}'s rogues gallery can count.
** The Joker ''lives'' on this. Batman openly states that "with normal men, you can find logic but the Joker's schemes make sense only in his twisted mind."

** Everything ComicBook/DoctorDoom does make sense if you believe as he does that everything wrong with his life is Reed Richards' [[NeverMyFault fault]].

* ComicBook/{{Deadpool}} runs on ObfuscatingInsanity, but every once in a while, his brain slips (another) gear and he goes into full-blown troll logic. Usually, you only find out which he was using after the body count is tallied. At one point, presumably, the thought process went like this: I got my powers from weird experiments on a mutant, therefore I am a mutant. I am a mutant, therefore I am an X-Man. I am an X-Man, therefore I need to wear an X-Man costume, therefore [[http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/comicsalliance.com/files/2010/10/deadpool-marvel-girl.jpg I will run around in Marvel Girl's old green miniskirt outfit]]. Cyclops was not amused.

** Zoom (Hunter Zolomon) is this once you actually think about what he's saying. He's a guy who has gone through an extraordinary amount of tragedy throughout his life, and when his back is broken and Wally West (the then-current Flash) refuses to use time-travel to fix Hunter's spine, Hunter accidentally turns himself into Zoom, a speedster much faster than Wally. He resolves to use his powers to make Wally experience tragedy, believing it will motivate Wally into becoming a better hero… see the flaw there? If Hunter's logic was as foolproof as he believed it to be… ''he himself would be a great hero!'' But he's not. It seems like Hunter's just looking for an excuse to beat up on Wally for not fixing his spine, though later events show that he's really just that insane, as a side-effect of his powers.
** Eobard Thawne blames Barry Allen for every bad thing in his life, which makes no damn sense whatsoever. It doesn't help that Eobard is an [[ItsAllAboutme egotistical]], sadistic [[TheSociopath sociopath]] whom abused his TimeTravel powers to change Barry's past by killing his mom and framing his dad for it. Post-Crisis, his hatred of Barry makes a ''little'' more sense given that the Thawnes had been FeudingFamilies with the Allens ever since Barry's twin Malcolm was switched at birth with a Thawne that a drunk doctor killed, but not only does this not seem to factor into Eobard's motivations post-''Post''-Crisis, but even Malcolm's grudge against Barry was MisplacedRetribution at its finest.

** Much like Doctor Doom and Reed Richards, Lex Luthor's obsession with Superman is fueled by this. Several stories have him insisting Superman has ruined him, or is out to get him. In ''52'', he's utterly convinced new superhero Supernova is actually the missing Superman, who has apparently cooked up an all new identity ''just to mess with him''.

* A recurring Creator/AbbottAndCostello routine, used in ''In The Navy'' and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa2dMnJ9Ov4 ''Little Giant'']], has Costello's character attempting to prove (three different ways) that 7 x 13 = 28. This equation is also quite common among their other acts as well. It was [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cN5SQO5wd0 also used]] in Series/{{Yeralash}}.

'''Gordon:''' ComicBook/TheJoker!\\

-->'''Brian:''' NOW [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK OFF!!!]]

* ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' runs on a combination of this and ItRunsOnNonsensoleum:

* On ''Series/SesameStreet'', Lefty the Salesman would use this logic to try to sell Ernie useless items. For example, [[https://youtu.be/Ar77kdd2EbI one day he tried sell Ernie a number 8]], with the pitch that he could hang it up on the wall at home, so if he ever had pressing questions like, how many tentacles does an octopus have, or how many reindeer pull Santa's sleigh, he could merely glance at the mounted digit for the answer. (He didn't make the sale, but only because he just missed ''another'' salesman who tapped Ernie out with his sale of number 9s; exact same spiel, but for how many players are on a baseball team.)

* In the radio version of ''Radio/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' (and no other versions) the natives of Brontitall build a fifteen-mile high statue of Arthur Dent Throwing The Nutrimatic Cup, an event they witnessed as a vision that [[MundaneMadeAwesome changed their whole society]]. The Arthur Dent part of the statue stands on the ground; the Cup part of the statue hovers in midair. How? Because it's artistically right.

** {{Cloudcuckoolander}} Yasuhiro Hagakure delves into this from time to time. Perhaps the biggest example is when [[spoiler:Kyoko shows up after having believed to have been killed]], and Hiro refuses to believe that [[spoiler:she isn't a ghost]]. The first part of the trial then consists of Makoto having to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that [[spoiler:Kyoko really is alive. ''While she is standing right in front of them.'']]
** Monokuma is a less hilarious example. He traps the cast in a building, tells them that the only way out is to kill someone and get away with it, and then psychologically and emotionally tortures and blackmails them to make them desperate to get out enough to kill. Whenever anybody calls him on it, though, he claims that the students killing each other is entirely on them and it isn't his fault. But his worst use of Insane Troll Logic is unquestionably when [[spoiler:he outright decides to plant a fake suicide note on the scene of a crime and when this is found out, he tries to claim that this act ''wasn't'' the same thing as planting false evidence or attempting to mislead anyone trying to find the killer... because he didn't fake Sakura's signature, and therefore it's Aoi's fault for believing the suicide note to be real. It turns out that particular instance ''was'' indeed a suicide, but ''not'' for the reasons Monokuma's fake note implied.]]

** ''VisualNovel/Danganronpa2'': [[spoiler:Mikan tries arguing (very poorly) that her double murder of Ibuki and Hiyoko wasn't her fault because everyone else obviously hates her and they drove her to do what she did by making her into her current self with their bullying, so everyone should just immediately forgive her. Never mind the fact that sans from Hiyoko literally everyone else in the of the cast shows no hostility towards Mikan, and in fact, most of them have shown her the exact opposite. This is also a doubly awful excuse, as she clearly picked her victims based on practicality- Ibuki was one of the friendliest girls in the class, but killed because her Gullibility Disease made her an easy target, while Hiyoko was the one person Mikan would be justified in being hostile towards, but was only killed because she accidentally witnessed Mikan setting up the crime.]]
*** Though in this case, the argument is RightForTheWrongReasons; [[spoiler: Mikan really ''didn't'' have full control over her actions, because the Despair Disease had reverted her to a point when Junko had made her BrainwashedAndCrazy. It didn't have anything to do with her being bullied, but she was still not in her right mind.]]
** ''VisualNovel/DanganRonpaV3'': Himiko is the Ultimate Magician who prefers being called the Ultimate Mage, and acts like she can perform real magic. This leads to her often claiming that things happened as a result of magic. [[spoiler:Gets to ludicrious degrees during the second class trial, as the body was discovered during Himiko's magic show. The first portion of the trial is spent with Himiko refusing to drop the "it was genuine magic" shtick, even though it was ''making her the prime suspect''. After Shuichi proves how the trick was done she ''still'' insists it was real magic, and that she's not a magician for the rest of the game.]]

* ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya'':

* [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Isaac and Miria]] of ''LightNovel/{{Baccano}}!'' have a lot of this. One instance is kind of like the Fat Tony example, in which he argues that just as you can get vegetables from eating steak (obviously, this is wrong itself), if you steal someone's wallet, whatever is inside then belongs to you. He also asserts that a mine in which gold has never been discovered is a great place to look for gold for precisely that reason.

* In ''LightNovel/BakaAndTestSummonTheBeasts'', the following exchange happens:

* ''LightNovel/{{Durarara}}'''s own troll Orihara Izaya does this all the time to screw people over.

* ''LightNovel/FullMetalPanic'': While pretty effective in a combat situation, Sosuke Sagara's mind becomes this in a school situation, ''always'' over-analyzing something and believing that it's got to be the work of a spy or potential assassin, or worse yet (for the other students) that it's supposed to provide them with TrainingFromHell (as an example, he receives a letter from a StalkerWithACrush schoolgirl early in ''Fumoffu''... after piecing it back together from what remains after he ''blew up the shoe lockers'', he takes the AnguishedDeclarationOfLove and offer to meet behind the gym as "I have been spying on you all of this time and I want to meet you at this time so we can duel". He also once takes an art teacher's statement that he should be "hard to get" as a model as an order to hunt his classmates down ''Franchise/{{Predator}}''-style as some kind of counter-surveillance exercise).

* ''{{LightNovel/Konosuba}}'': When asked why she kept using Verdia's castle as target practice after promising to stop. Megumin says she simply couldn't go back to casting explosion in empty fields once she knew how satisfying it was to have a target.
* ''LightNovel/TheDevilIsAPartTimer'': Lucifer is a FallenAngel who wants to win his way back to Heaven and is convinced that the best way to do so is by allying himself with Maou, the Demon King, and being a {{Jerkass}} who terrorizes innocent people.

* In ''LightNovel/HeavyObject'' the Capitalist Enterprise produces the EX Wall, a barbed wire barrier laced with explosives. Neither the wire or the explosives pose any obstacles to Objects, but damaging the wall will knock the explosives free, essentially becoming landmines which are illegal by international law. The Enterprise will then accuse the enemy who damage the Wall of breaking the law because it was the ''attack'' which created the mines, not the Wall itself. The politics involved are so bad that other nations have to avoid the EX Wall, allowing the Enterprise to define the battlefield's size and shape.

** ''VisualNovel/DanganronpaV3'': Himiko is the Ultimate Magician who prefers being called the Ultimate Mage, and acts like she can perform real magic. This leads to her often claiming that things happened as a result of magic. [[spoiler:Gets to ludicrious degrees during the second class trial, as the body was discovered during Himiko's magic show. The first portion of the trial is spent with Himiko refusing to drop the "it was genuine magic" shtick, even though it was ''making her the prime suspect''. After Shuichi proves how the trick was done she ''still'' insists it was real magic, and that she's not a magician for the rest of the game.]]

** Lucy herself has a long history of being guilty of this. In one early sequence, she becomes convinced that snow grows up from the ground, because after all, flowers and grass do that, and because snow always seems to happen overnight as far as she can remember, so she's never seen where it comes from. Even when she actually sees it snowing, she's conviced that it's just the wind blowing snowflakes around in the air, and that it does indeed come up out of the ground. In a more famous example, she tells Linus that leaves fly south for the winter. When Charlie Brown objects, her counter-argument is that when you look at a map, ''south'' is ''down''.

-->"30 per cent of road accidents are due to alcohol. I conclude that 70 per cent of road accidents are due to water."

** In "[[Recap/BigFinishDoctorWho050Zagreus Zagreus]]", when the TARDIS locks Zagreus (currently controlling the Doctor's body) inside a UsefulNotes/SchrödingersCat lead box, Zagreus tells her that he's dead now, so she'd better let him out. When the TARDIS pointedly remarks that dead people generally don't talk, Zagreus tries to convince her that she's mad for talking back to a dead person, so she'd better let him out.

** In "[[Recap/BigFinishDoctorWho050Zagreus Zagreus]]", when the TARDIS locks Zagreus (currently controlling the Doctor's body) inside a UsefulNotes/SchrödingersCat lead box, Zagreus tells her that he's dead now, so she'd better let him out. When the TARDIS pointedly remarks that dead people generally don't talk, Zagreus tries to convince her that she's mad for talking back to a dead person, so she'd better let him out.