History Main / IKEAErotica

[[quoteright:300:[[Website/CollegeHumor https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ikea_erotica.jpg]]]]

* [[Series/TheOReillyFactor Bill O'Reilly]]'s book ''Those Who Trespass'' provides an (in)famous example involving an AuthorAvatar.

* ''Fanfic/MobileSuitGundamTournament'': "Stella and Reccoa turned 180 degrees", indeed.

* ''Film/TheRoom'' is filled with pointless sex scenes. The main plot is driven by the protagonist's [[InsistentTerminology future wife]] having an affair with his best friend, but the camera spends ''way'' too long watching them have sex. Lead actor/director/writer/producer Creator/TommyWiseau apparently thought he needed protracted sex scenes to [[SexSells sell the movie]], even though it's not really ''about'' sex. He also [[AnatomicallyImpossibleSex appears to be having sex with his future wife's belly button]]. The roses and cheesy [=R&B=] background music don't help at all.

* The ''LightNovel/SwordArtOnline'' webnovel had a [[https://docs.google.com/file/d/0BwyW7ZpWYsQBaThmR0Foa2ZfOG8/edit pretty infamous one]]. The phrase "glopping sound" is used, and semen can apparently be measured in years. It's widely believed this was an example of StylisticSuck. One can understand why this scene was left out when the series was remade for publishing.

But as always, TropesAreTools, and there are a number of reasons why IKEA Erotica might be deliberately included. It can be a {{parody}} of [[StylisticSuck bad writing]]. It can be a way of GettingCrapPastTheRadar. It can be an interesting insight into the psyche of a character who [[TheSpock isn't good with emotions]] or [[SexIsEvil doesn't like sex]]. It can be a way to denote that the character [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland isn't enjoying the sex]], or a possible clue to divulge the identity or perspective of a narrator.

** May I do [[ADateWithRosiePalms onanism?]]

** Zoidberg can only think of sex in this manner. Knowing [[DeathBySex what happens to his species when they have sex]], he's probably the better off for it.

* The Wiki/SCPFoundation fic "Union" (which is no longer on the site due to [[UnPerson complications]] [[SmallNameBigEgo with the author]]) uses this for effect, since it's based on SCP-217, a virus that converts organisms into clockwork, both literally and figuratively.

IKEA Erotica is the tendency of badly written sex scenes to be very mechanical descriptions of who sticks what into where. It's named after the [[UsefulNotes/{{Sweden}} Swedish]] big-box store, which is famous for selling furniture that requires assembly with instructions along the lines of "insert Tab A into Slot B" -- IKEA Erotica is for sex scenes written in basically that style, which end up being about as interesting as assembling furniture.

JustForFun/NotToBeConfusedWith CargoShip.

The best way to avoid falling afoul of this trope is not to describe the sex at all -- by all means show the characters and yhe emotional lead up to the act, then pull a SexyDiscretionShot and come back when it's all over. What the characters feel about each other is more important than what they're doing to each other, and they ''should'' still be feeling it before and after they have sex. Alternatively, you could try LewdLustChasteSex, when all the events leading up to the act are described in lascivious detail, but the deed itself is elided; it has the same effect but makes it more titillating.

** This sounds like it should be a schoolground rhyme:

The point of erotica is to make the reader ''feel'' something of what the characters do, which in most cases should be arousal rather than boredom. In writing, sex isn't about sex, it's about the people having it and what they're feeling. But some writers don't get that, and they end up describing the physical mechanics of the sex. Sometimes it's a sign that the writer didn't ''want'' to include a sex scene but [[ExecutiveMeddling got overruled]] and initiated a WriterRevolt. More often, though, it's a sign that the writer is sexually inexperienced -- they don't know anything about how sex ''feels'', but only how it works, and that only from a biology textbook. And [[ArtisticLicenseBiology sometimes not even then]], which leads to poorly written AnatomicallyImpossibleSex. IKEA Erotica is one of the hallmarks of FanFiction by [[MostFanficWritersAreGirls 14-year-old girls]], examples of which are too numerous to list and too forgettable to remember.

The best way to avoid falling afoul of this trope is not to describe the sex at all -- by all means show the characters and lead up to the act, then pull a SexyDiscretionShot and come back when it's all over. What the characters feel about each other is more important than what they're doing to each other, and they ''should'' still be feeling it before and after they have sex. Alternatively, you could try LewdLustChasteSex, when all the events leading up to the act are described in lascivious detail, but the deed itself is elided; it has the same effect but makes it more titillating.

[[folder:Film]]

* OlderThanPrint: An awesome scene early on in the [[Myth/JapaneseMythology Japanese creation myth]] ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kojiki Kojiki]]''. As Donald L. Philippi translated it,

* OlderThanPrint: An awesome scene early on in the [[Myth/JapaneseMythology Japanese creation myth]] ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kojiki Kojiki]]''. As ''Traditional Japanese Literature: An Anthology, Beginnings to 1600, Abridged'' says it,

* OlderThanPrint: An awesome scene early on in the [[Myth/JapaneseMythology Japanese creation myth]] ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kojiki Kojiki]]'':
-->"Izanagi asked his spouse Izanami, 'How's your body formed?' She replied, 'My body, formed though it be formed, has one place that is formed insufficiently.' Then Izanagi said, 'My body, formed though it be formed, has one place that is formed in excess. Therefore I would like to take that place in my body which is formed to excess and insert it into that place in your body that is formed insufficiently and give birth to the land. How would this be?' Izanami replied, 'This would be good.'"

It gets ''really'' weird when combined with TheBodyPartsThatMustNotBeNamed.

* ''VisualNovel/DiviDead'' [[UpToEleven takes it to a whole other level]] with such gems as "shove your eggplant up to my ribcage!", and the hero always, always, ''always'' finishes with "I'm BLASTING!" Considering the rest of the game's [[BlindIdiotTranslation bad translation job]] and obvious editing (rewriting what is obviously a rape scene by the voice acting to a consensual one), it's hard to say who is at fault -- the original writers, or the translators.

But as always, TropesAreTools, and IKEA Erotica has its merits. It can be a {{parody}} of [[StylisticSuck bad writing]]. It can be a way of GettingCrapPastTheRadar. It can be an interesting insight into the psyche of a character who [[TheSpock isn't good with emotions]] or [[SexIsEvil doesn't like sex]]. It can be a way to denote that the character [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland isn't enjoying the sex,]] or a possible clue to divulge the identity or perspective of a narrator. But the rest of the story shouldn't be written that way.