History Main / ICanChangeMyBeloved

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and is near-guaranteed to end badly.

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and is near-guaranteed to end badly. ''A relationship is not a substitute for professional therapy.''

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" may be controversial, but it seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and is near-guaranteed to end badly. ''A relationship is not a substitute for professional therapy.''

->'''Marge:''' Well, most women will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a man, but those women "Your feelings for him are ''quitters!''\\

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" may be controversial, but it seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and is near-guaranteed to end badly. ''A relationship is not a substitute for therapy.''

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and is near-guaranteed to end badly. ''A relationship is not a substitute for therapy.''

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective: expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and will only end badly for both of you.

** The religious version of this trope is known, particularly (and pejoratively) in Christian circles, as "missionary dating" (or "flirt to convert"), in which a believer in a particular religion dates a non-believer with the expectation of [[ConvertForLove converting that person]]. As with this trope in general, missionary dating is generally regarded as ill-advised.

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective; expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and will only end badly for both of you.

* Trying this trope in real life can have disastrous results. Building a relationship with someone you do not see as "good enough" leads to turmoil and resistance from the partner. For examples of how badly trying this can go, just consult your nearest advice column.

** The religious version of this trope is known, particularly (and pejoratively) in Christian circles, as "missionary dating" (or "flirt to convert"), in which a believer in a particular religion dates a non-believer with the expectation of converting that person. As with this trope in general, missionary dating is generally regarded as ill-advised.

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective; expecting your partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and guaranteed to end badly.

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" is controversial, but it ultimately seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective; expecting your romantic partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and ''very'' likely to end badly.

* Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" is controversial, but it ultimately seeks to avoid this trope from the Beloved's perspective. In other words, expecting your romantic partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and ''very'' likely to end badly.

* Avoiding this trope on the Beloved's part is the reason behind Creator/{{RuPaul}}'s catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?" In other words, expecting your romantic partner to save you from yourself is unfair to them and is ''very'' likely to end badly.

* Avoiding this trope on the Beloved's part is the reason behind Creator/RuPaul's catchphrase, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else?" In other words, dating someone in hopes that they save you from yourself is unfair to your partner and will only end badly.

* In general, this tend to be a common plot element of many fanfics where a villain is being subject of the DracoInLeatherPants treatment.

"Your feelings for him are coloring your judgment I can hear it in your voice."- giles


"He's different now. He has a soul." -buffy

(Buffy and giles talking about spike in btvs).

Buffy in btvs spent many seasons changing spike and by the end, spike actually did change and became a good person. Buffy often defended spike to her friends, especially in the last season which plays a big part of this trope. Alice is a LoveMartyr for Bob. [[WhatDoesSheSeeInHim The world can plainly see that Bob is an utter loser]] -- he's selfish, greedy, and either completely spineless or an outright {{Domestic Abuse}}r -- but not Alice. To her, Bob's faults are minor and no cause for concern, for she can Change Him. The power and strength of her love will send him through a metamorphosis that will remake him into her perfect man. You wait. You'll see.

"Your feelings for him are coloring your judgment I can hear it in your voice."
"He's different now. He has a soul."

->'''Marge:''' Well, most women will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a man, but those women are ''quitters!''\\
'''Lisa:''' What?\\
'''Marge:''' When I first met your father, he was loud, crude, and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now he's a whole new person.\\
'''Lisa:''' Mom...?\\
'''Marge:''' ''He's a whole... New! Person! Lisa!''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E7LisasDateWithDensity Lisa's Date With Density]]"

Alice is a LoveMartyr for Bob. [[WhatDoesSheSeeInHim The world can plainly see that Bob is an utter loser]] -- he's selfish, greedy, and either completely spineless or an outright {{Domestic Abuse}}r -- but not Alice. To her, Bob's faults are minor and no cause for concern, for she can Change Him. The power and strength of her love will send him through a metamorphosis that will remake him into her perfect man. You wait. You'll see.

* ''Film/RevengeOfTheSith'': Padme said that Anakin was a good man even though [[Film/AttackOfTheClones he killed sand people]], and even after he had killed children, [[spoiler:and even after he almost killed ''her''. Her last words were that there was still good in him. She was right, but it took [[Film/ReturnOfTheJedi their son to bring it out of him]].]]

Alice is a LoveMartyr for Bob. [[WhatDoesSheSeeInHim The world can plainly see that Bob is an utter loser -- he's selfish, greedy, and completely spineless]] -- but not Alice. To her, Bob's faults are minor and no cause for concern, for she can Change Him. The power and strength of her love will send him through a metamorphosis that will remake him into her perfect man. You wait. You'll see.

* ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'': The Director of Project Freelancer is absolutely obsessed with his AI experiments. His goal? Bring back his long-departed wife, Allison. Only, his desire to bring her back means doing horrible, horrible things to her AI replica, Texas, in the hopes of "bringing her back right". This also means ignoring his daughter, Agent Carolina, and not telling her that Tex is an echo of ''her mother''.

* Music/TheRollingStones: In "Under My Thumb", the narrator is bragging about how as their relationship grew, his girlfriend (who had been something of a {{Tsundere}}) changed into someone much more submissive and sweet.

* ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooMysteryIncorporated'': Velma's attitude toward Shaggy when they're dating, trying to smarten him up, first by making him stop using "like" as a comma, then changing his wardrobe, despite Shaggy's many complaints (not least because Velma's change of pants are incredibly restrictive). Like, Shaggy's quite happy being a gluttonous slacker who hangs out with his dog all day.

* ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooMysteryIncorporated'': Velma's attitude toward Shaggy when they're dating, trying to smarten him up, first by making him stop using "like" as a coma, then changing his wardrobe, despite Shaggy's many complaints (not least because Velma's change of pants are incredibly restrictive). Like, Shaggy's quite happy being a gluttonous slacker who hangs out with his dog all day.

** One Literature/ParkerPyne story ends with the man given the advice to never reveal he didn't actually seduce another woman to his wife as he was being blackmailed and stole her jewelry for, she'll only be interested in him if she thinks he's changed his ways [[PuritySue thanks to her]].

** In ''Literature/HickoryDickoryDock'', Celia confesses to being behind the recent thefts at the boarding house. This causes psychology student Colin McNabb to view her as a patient need of psychological treatment... when in fact, it had been suggested to her as the best way to get him interested in her. It works, as they announce their engagement the day she confesses to the thefts. [[spoiler:Then she gets murdered due to SheKnowsTooMuch.]]

** The religious version of this trope is known, particularly (and pejoratively) in Christian circles, as "missionary dating", in which a believer in a particular religion dates a non-believer with the expectation of converting that person. As with this trope in general, missionary dating is generally regarded as ill-advised.