History Main / CondescendingCompassion

* In ''Series/{{Star Trek}}'' The federation members often act this way to any and all aliens who are sentient yet primitive,but show enough self awareness to see that humans themselves were once like that.

* A popular Christmas song, "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid has an equally large amount of people who dislike it and accuse it of playing this very, ''very'' straight. It was written in 1984 to raise money for famine relief in Africa and was re-recorded in 1989, 2004, and 2014 for similar causes, but its lyrics play into the insulting Western stereotypes of the continent of Africa as a desolate place full of miserable and ignorant people, with many arguing the song did more harm than good for the people it tried to help. In an interview with the ''Daily Telegraph'' in 2010, even one of its writers, Bob Geldof, called it "[[OldShame [one of the] two worst songs in history]]."

May factor into BlackAndWhiteInsanity or WindmillPolitical. Can be a rare trait for the AntiHero. Often runs in the background of WhiteMansBurden or SaveOurStudents plots, which explains why some viewers find those stories offensive and others find them inspiring or heartwarming. The phrases "YouAreACreditToYourRace" and "NotLikeOtherGirls" frequently ties into this worldview.

* ''Goodbye to Berlin'': The short story "The Landauers" involves Christopher befriending a rich Jewish family whose members all try to get his opinions on various topics, but then get unreasonably angry when he actually gives his opinion. This is perhaps best epitomized by Natalia Landauer's CatchPhrase, "Then I cannot help you" - always delivered when Christopher declines to perform some favor for her.

* ''Fanfic/FeralnetteAUBigFatBreak'': While Bunnyx ''claims'' to be worried about Marinette, as she's "gone feral" after she StoppedCaring about maintaining her social life and appearance in favor of focusing upon her duties as Ladybug, her supposed concern is shallow and self-serving. She considers all timelines that don't perfectly match up with ''hers'' to be {{Expendable Alternate Universe}}s, and only cares about "fixing things" on ''her'' terms, rather than providing any of the help Marinette actually ''wants''.

* ''Fanfic/{{Apotheosis|MHA}}'': Despite famously declaring that "Anyone can be a hero!", when he meets Izuku and learns that he's Quirkless, he advises him to give up on his dream, believing that he's simply not ''capable'' of accomplishing anything without a powerful Quirk. This proves to be the last straw, setting Izuku on the path to become a VillainProtagonist.

[[index]]
* CondescendingCompassion/AnimeAndManga
* CondescendingCompassion/FanWorks
* [[CondescendingCompassion/LiveActionFilms Films - Live-Action]]
* CondescendingCompassion/{{Literature}}
* CondescendingCompassion/LiveActionTV
* CondescendingCompassion/VideoGames
* CondescendingCompassion/WesternAnimation
[[/index]]

* In one of [[ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes Spaceman Spiff's adventures]], he decided to MercyKill a blob which he felt was so stupid that it could only stare blankly ahead. In reality, it was Calvin shooting spitballs at Susie.

[[folder:Music]]
* Nanne Grönvall's song "Fördomar" (Prejudice) plays this for laughs. The whole song is about the protagonist bragging about how she's perfect and [[DistinctionWithoutADifference does not have]] any prejudice whatsoever. The first verse is simply about how great and open-minded she is in general. The second verse is the Alice of this trope, expecting gratitude from gays for not despising them. The rest of the song goes downhill from there with blatant racism (against blacks ''and'' whites), sexism (against men ''and'' women), ageism (against young people ''and'' old people) and so on.
* The narrator of "I Thought I'd Lost You" is annoyed by various well-intentioned people acting like her loss wasn't important.
-->Nobody listens to me\\
Don't hear a single thing I've said\\
Say anything to soothe me\\
Anything to get you from my head...
* A popular Christmas song, "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid has an equally large amount of people who dislike it and accuse it of playing this very, ''very'' straight. It was written in 1984 to raise money for famine relief in Africa and was re-recorded in 1989, 2004, and 2014 for similar causes, but its lyrics play into the insulting Western stereotypes of the continent of Africa as a desolate place full of miserable and ignorant people, with many arguing the song did more harm than good for the people it tried to help. In an interview with the ''Daily Telegraph'' in 2010, even one of its writers, Bob Geldof, called it "[[OldShame [one of the] two worst songs in history]]."
* Music/{{Kesha}}'s "Praying" is absolutely filled to the brim with this sentiment:
-->Oh, sometimes I pray for you at night\\
Someday, maybe you'll see the light\\
Oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give\\
But some things only God can forgive\\
I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'\\
I hope your soul is changin', changin'\\
I hope you find your peace\\
Falling on your knees, prayin'
* Music/ThreeDaysGrace's "Misery Loves My Company" [[DontYouDarePityMe rebuffs]] Condescending Compassion:
-->I don't need your condescending / words about me looking lonely
* Music/JohnLennon's "Imagine" is sometimes criticized for falling into this trope, not helped by the fact that the music video has Lennon singing lines like "Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can..." while sitting in a mansion. Notably, during the onset of the UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic in 2020, several celebrities participated in a virtual group performance of the song and they were swiftly derided as being tone-deaf during a time when many people were losing their jobs and/or homes.

[[folder:Radio]]
* In the third episode of Creator/TheBBC radio drama ''Trust'', about Yvette, the headmistress of East Salford Academy, a struggling school that's been taken over by an Academy Trust, the head of the Trust's flagship school, Lodestone Academy, starts off complimenting Yvette on how well she's managing in the circumstances, including saying that yes, Lodestone's modern dance troupe might have won the Trust's talent contest, but East Salford's brass band coped very well with the trombone falling apart. As it becomes apparent that Yvette doesn't buy her act for a minute and suspects nothing about Lodestone adds up, she becomes more overtly hostile.

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'': This is noted to be a common flaw of the AlwaysLawfulGood metallic dragons. While they won't hurt humans and other sapient beings unless in self-defense or for a very good reason, they also don't take them seriously, instead considering them like humans would consider a puppy or a kitten -- they are going to be friendly and kind to them, but they won't consider them as anywhere close to their equals. Only silver dragons consistently escape this trap.
* ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000'': Defining characteristic of the Tau attitude toward other races. DependingOnTheWriter this may be presented as a marginally better alternative to the AbsoluteXenophobe Imperium of Man, or much, much worse because at least the humans are ''honest'' about how much they hate you.
* ''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasy'': Bretonnian society is so ridiculously stratified that commoners are literally seen as a different (and inferior) species than the nobles. This view leads this trope being common amongst the more "compassionate" of lords and knights. For example, a lord who mistreats his peasants may see several of his neighbors band together to depose him. This isn't because they actually care about the welfare of the peasants, but because abusing poor defenseless peasants is conduct unbecoming of a Brettonian noble that makes the noble class look bad. Conversely, anyone who simply dismounts and fights alongside the peasant levy on foot is seen as an exemplar of humility and compassion.

[[folder:Theater]]
* ''Film/{{RENT}}'' includes a scene where Mark intervenes when two cops try to bully an old homeless woman away from the street by filming their encounter. When the cops give up and leave, the homeless woman then lays into Mark for using her and her struggles as a mere prop for his art and to make himself feel like a progressive radical resisting the system rather than doing anything practical to help her -- tellingly, when she asks him if he has a dollar he can give her, the result is merely awkward silence. It particularly has bite since it's heavily implied (in both play and film) that Mark has less reason than most of the other characters to live in poverty but chooses to do so for reasons of what he considers to be artistic integrity.
* ''Theatre/{{Wicked}}'': The entire song "Popular" is this.

[[folder:Visual Novels]]
* Saul from ''VisualNovel/DaughterForDessert'', with his annoying politeness and his show of sympathy for the business owners he buys out, has shades of this.
* ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo'' plays with this trope in a few ways. Being a game about {{disabled love interest}}s, it's easy to fall into this, and is the cause for some {{bad ending}}s. ''Especially'' [[spoiler:[[TheWoobie Hanako's]]]]. Interestingly enough, the "sympathetic bigot" part of the trope played out in real life during the development of the game. Not knowing led to ignorant pitying, but once the creators actually began researching and talking to people they developed a more nuanced portrayal of the people involved (for example, the main obstacles in the characters lives are rarely their disabilities but their emotional/psychological problems -- which ''can'' stem from their disabilities but don't necessarily ''have'' to).

[[folder:Web Animation]]
* In the ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' [[YouMeanXMas Decemberween Special]], [[Recap/HomestarRunnerADecemberweenMackerel A Decemberween Mackerel]], Marzipan's charitable spirit is undermined by how she overemphasises just how much less fortunate and how much more smelly people with less than two [=DVRs=] are, and refers to [[CrazyHomelessPeople Senor Cardgage]] as "you poor wretch" right to his face.

[[folder:Webcomics]]
* ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'':
** Cronus believes that one of his best qualities is how he doesn't ''nearly'' make as big a deal about the fact that he's a [[BlueBlood seadweller]] as he could and that the others should be thankful he's such a progressive guy. After all, he ''could'' lord it over them, but he actually stoops to their level to see them as equals (and reminds them of it constantly)! What more could they possibly ask for?
** Kankri also has a tendency to fall into condescension, [[HypocriticalHumor even though he expressly argues against that kind of thing]].
** This in general is Beforus's hat. It's a culture that is based around babying those with "lower" blood colors like they're helpless.
* ''Webcomic/NeverSatisfied'': How Lucy interprets Broom Girl inviting them to the potluck with the other contestants.
-->'''Lucy:''' She [[InnocentlyInsensitive patted me on the head]]! Like I was some sort of dog!
** It's also how they interpret her [[spoiler:choosing to let them go instead of shooting them while they're immobile]].
* In ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'', Dahlia (who is wheelchair-bound due to spinal damage) often has to suffer the well-meaning 'sympathy' of people who constantly pity her for her lack of legs, especially people who seem to think [[DisabledMeansHelpless that just because her legs do not work she must also be mentally retarded]].
* ''Webcomic/StandStillStaySilent'': Downplayed. Emil and Lalli have an OddFriendship that runs on a platonic version of LanguageOfLove. In addition to the LanguageBarrier, Lalli has an unspecified mental disorder that makes him come across as much less able to take care of himself in a dangerous situation than he actually is to people who don't know him well, including Emil. This results in Emil's general acceptance of Lalli's quirks coming hand in hand with sometimes being more protective of him than necessary, considering the fact that Lalli is the one with more field experience by several years.

[[folder:Web Original]]
* From the NewsParody website ''Website/BabylonBee'' during COVID-19: [[https://babylonbee.com/news/inspiring-celebrities-spell-out-were-all-in-this-together-with-their-yachts "Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts"]]
* A Website/{{Cracked}} article, [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19549_5-old-timey-prejudices-that-still-show-up-in-every-movie_p2.html#ixzz1hR3yzdot "5 old-timey prejudices that still show up in every movie"]], argues that this attitude from white people is why there are so few non-white protagonists in blockbuster movies. And ''especially'' not in a relationship with a white female character.
-->''Again, [[MisBlamed we can blame]] [[HollywoodStyle the studios all we want]]. [[LowestCommonDenominator But they've learned from hard experience that for the most part]], if they don't play to our prejudices, we simply won't go see their movie.''
* In ''WebVideo/DrHorriblesSingAlongBlog'', Captain Hammer's song "Everyone's a Hero" is a combination of this and {{Metaphorgotten}}.
-->'''Captain Hammer:''' "Everyone's a hero in their own way / everyone's got they villains they must face / they're not as cool as mine / but folks, you know it's fine to know your place."\\
'''Captain Hammer:''' "A hero doesn't care / if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums."
* Invoked in WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows' "Best Hit Songs of 2017" episode, regarding "Praying" by Music/{{Kesha}}:
-->"It is a song about forgiveness, but the really condescending forgiveness that Southerners like to use to remind you that you're a loathsome piece of shit."
* Discussed in The Tuesday Zone's [[http://roosterillusionreviews.com/2014/11/04/the-tuesday-zone-eldritch-adaptations-part-21/ review]] of ''Call Girl of Cthulhu'', specifically as it relates to the protagonist's Nice Guy Syndrome.
-->''First of all, the main character -- who we are 100% meant to sympathize with and support -- just referred to women as things. Second, note that the main character desperately wants sex and only interacts with two women before this conversation: his roommate, whom he condescends to because'' '''''he could only have sex with someone he loves, unlike her,''''' ''and the titular call girl, whose line of work he disrespects but attempts to tolerate. He paints prostitutes, apparently reflecting on how he respects their bodies more than most clients or some hogwash like that, but doesn't realize that he's judging them and their line of work in a snobbish way as a result. He thinks he knows what their bodies are good for better than they do.''

* Music/JohnLennon's "Imagine" is sometimes criticized for falling headlong into this trope, not helped by the fact that the music video has Lennon singing lines like "Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can..." while sitting in a mansion. Notably, during the onset of the UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic in 2020, several celebrities participated in a virtual group performance of the song and they were swiftly mocked as being tone-deaf during a time when many people were losing their jobs and/or homes.

* ''Webcomic/StandStillStaySilent'': Downplayed. Emil and Lalli have an OddFriendship that runs on a platonic version of LanguageOfLove. In addition to the LanguageBarrier, Lalli has an AmbiguousDisorder that makes him come across as much less able to take care of himself in a dangerous situation than he actually is to people who don't know him well, including Emil. This results in Emil's general acceptance of Lalli's quirks coming hand in hand with sometimes being more protective of him than necessary, considering the fact that Lalli is the one with more field experience by several years.

-->''Again, [[MisBlamed we can blame]] [[HollywoodStyle the studios all we want]]. [[LowestCommonDenominator But they've learned from hard experience that for the most part]], if they don't play to our prejudices, [[UnfortunateImplications we simply won't go see their movie.]]''

-->''First of all, the main character -- who we are 100% meant to sympathize with and support -- [[UnfortunateImplications just referred to women as things]]. Second, note that the main character desperately wants sex and only interacts with two women before this conversation: his roommate, whom he condescends to because'' '''''he could only have sex with someone he loves, unlike her,''''' ''and the titular call girl, whose line of work he disrespects but attempts to tolerate. He paints prostitutes, apparently reflecting on how he respects their bodies more than most clients or some hogwash like that, but doesn't realize that he's judging them and their line of work in a snobbish way as a result. He thinks he knows what their bodies are good for better than they do.''

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* A weird ''accidental'' example in ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist''. When Ed realizes Envy's true FreudianExcuse, namely [[spoiler:envying humans for their ability to steel through hardships by forming strong bonds with each other]], he treats it and by extension Envy with sympathy and pity. Envy immediately views it as this trope and is so humiliated and insulted that [[spoiler:he commits suicide]].
* A large part of the humor in ''Manga/KaguyaSamaLoveIsWar'' comes from the protagonists being [[TheSocialDarwinist social Darwinists]] who equate love with vulnerability. They know any [[LoveConfession confession]] will be reciprocated, but neither person is actually willing to take the first step and confess, because they're too proud to admit that they love/'need' each other. ''Noblesse Oblige'' is specifically mentioned at one point.
* In ''Manga/KazeToKiNoUta'', Gilbert sees this in regards to Serge due to his initial kindness and compassion, which absolutely annoys him to no end.
* An variant appears in ''Manga/KenichiTheMightiestDisciple'', with the Masters of the Ryonzampaku Dojo treating everybody that tries to fight [[ThugDojo YOMI]] / [[NebulousEvilOrganization YAMI]] this way. As a high percentage of the people that try to fight the organisation ({{Muggles}}, the occasional BadassNormal and more "normal" martial artists) are pretty much raising the ire of a bunch of [[ArrogantKungFuGuy Sociopath Kung-Fu People]] who are walking [[PersonOfMassDestruction Human Beings of Mass Destruction]] via SupernaturalMartialArts and ''they'' are the only ones who can give a fair fight, there is an odd InUniverse justification for said condescension.
* In ''Manga/BoardingSchoolJuliet'', the Dogs (as in the social group, not the species) and Cats fight. [[ForeverWar That's all]] they do together, all they've done for generations, and it's the only way any of them know how to interact with someone from the opposing side. Cats can only be important to Dogs as rivals, and vice versa. So Percia interprets Inuzuka's going easy on her as a 'rejection' of her, a statement that she doesn't matter to him in ''any'' way. The {{Irony}} is that Inuzuka acts like that because [[StarCrossedLovers he is in love with her]], and by being ObliviousToLove Percia managed to mistake his feelings for this trope.
* [[NaiveEverygirl Haruhi]] [[LittleMissSnarker Fujioka]] of ''Manga/OuranHighSchoolHostClub'' is often subject to this from her well-meaning but painfully sheltered school friends, as a result of her scholarship admittance to Ouran High School for the ridiculously wealthy. HilarityEnsues.
* Mingluan and Mingyi in ''Manhua/GoddessCreationSystem'' seem like close brothers who can laugh and play together, but digging beneath the surface shows the ugly truth: Mingluan is a bastard and Mingyi considers himself inherently superior because of it and treats his brother as an inferior. Once Mingluan figures it out he's deeply insulted.
* ''[[Manga/IWantYourMotherToBeWithMe Kimi no Okaa-san wo Boku ni Kudasai!]]'' opens up with the protagonist, a down on his luck part timer, working up the courage to confess to his longtime crush and coworker, a single mother. Said confession consists of him asking her out with marriage in mind (fine), deflecting her claims that her age is a problem (fine)... and then proceeding to bring up the fact that society typically sees women approaching their thirties, who don't have their virginity, or already have children as undesirable, and that her circumstances (including ''her child'') don't matter as long as they love each other. Cue her next rejection, asking [[ArmorPiercingQuestion what he can bring to the table if he wants to start a family with her]], and him wondering where all of it went wrong.
* Downplayed with Momo Yaoyarozu from ''Manga/MyHeroAcademia''. She never looks down on any of her classmates, but she tends to forget how rich she is compared to them, [[InnocentlyInsensitive unintentionally bragging]] about it some times. This is especially notable when she excitedly offers to tutor her friends at her mansion and even get expensive tea ready for the visit, all the while baffling them without even noticing. However, she's just so SpoiledSweet and adorable that no one could ever get mad at her.
* In ''Manga/ShesMyKnight'', Ichinose is trying to ask his crush Mogami to a movie, but is prone to a bad case of OpenMouthInsertFoot:
-->'''Ichinose:''' I bet you have too much time on your hands after school. I can take you to a movie, 'cause I feel bad for you.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12404080/1/Anyone-Can-Become-A-Hero Anyone Can Become A Hero]]'': The main character [[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventureSteelBallRun Johnny Joestar]] suffers from a lot of people coddling him at every turn out of pity because of his [[HandicappedBadass inability to walk]].
* While All Might is a good hero in ''FanFic/ApotheosisMHA'', he believes that people with no quirks or impractical quirks should leave the dangerous heroing to people who won the SuperpowerLottery. Which sounds practical on paper... if All Might hadn't completely forgotten the institutional discrimination and social ostracization people with no quirks or impractical quirks face. Combined with how All Might is publicly famous for saying that anybody could be a hero, it makes him a huge {{Hypocrite}}. Izuku is so angered by this condescension and casual disregard for the suffering he went through, it pushes him to destroy the system All Might and so many others like him benefit from.
* ''FanFic/ADanceOnTheMats'':
** Played With. Anon is genuinely caring and respectful of Rainbow Dash after he injures her during their fight, but [[CompetitionFreak Rainbow]] sees it as a sign that he doesn't respect her.
** Due to being in a LadyLand where gender roles are reversed, Anon receives this from others despite being a genuine tough guy and brawler. Rainbow Dash is the only exception who can give him a decent brawl.
* Bunnyx treats Marinette this way in the ''Fanfic/FeralnetteAUBigFatBreak''. Though she claims to be concerned about her condition, as she's 'gone feral' after she StoppedCaring about maintaining her social life and appearance in favor of focusing upon her duties as Ladybug, her concern doesn't extend far enough to actually ''help her'' in the ways Marinette ''wants'' to be helped. She sees her and her world as less 'Real' than her own since it's not the same timeline ''Bunnyx'' comes from, and she only wants to 'fix things' on ''her'' terms.
* ''Fanfic/GuardiansWizardsAndKungFuFighters'': Upon learning of her [[IJustWantToBeSpecial true reasons]] for going to Meridian and staying with Phobos, [[spoiler:Alchemy]] calls Elyon out on being this. She says that while it's good Elyon is using her powers to help the people of Meridian, it's pretty glaring that she never stopped to ask ''why'' they were in [[CrapsackWorld such a poor state]] that they needed her help to begin with. Instead, she appears to be acting on the assumption that since she's a princess and they're commoners, that's simply the way it's supposed to be.
* In ''Fanfic/HarryIsADragonAndThatsOk'', Neville's uncle Algie can't seem to understand how much Neville has matured, and keeps going on about how kind his friends are to be around him, and how brave he is to be overcoming his disadvantages. Neville manages to silence him by shifting into his Animagus form.
* When Ginny joins Harry and his friends for their martial arts practice in ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheNightmaresOfFuturesPast'', Ron assures her that he'll go easy on her since she's new, and she promptly gets past his guard and hits him in the stomach.
-->It was surely an accident that her punch landed, well, [[GroinAttack lower than she probably intended]].
* ''Fanfic/MyBravePonyStarfleetMagic'': The Space Ponies treat the Equestrians like they're still in nursery school when it comes to brute strength, think their ideas of harmony and friendship are silly and are all too happy to make them bipedal in order to improve their lives.
* In ''Fanfic/NeitherABirdNorAPlaneItsDeku'', Jor-El regards Earth as the best place for his son Kal-El to live after escaping Krypton's destruction. However, he also regards Earth as primitive compared to Krypton, repeatedly referring to it as such and trying to explain what a video montage is to Izuku, who rolls with it to avoid seeming rude when they meet in K.E.L.E.X.'s simulation.
* Vernon Dursley is as unpleasant as ever in ''Fanfic/ThePeaceNotPromised''. After complaining that Lily and Severus are late to their dinner appointment, he shakes Severus' hand, and then observes that it's callused and evidently the hand of a working man, "Not the kind one would expect to own a car that can bring its occupants to dinner on time."
* ''FanFic/SinsOfThePast'': Adelene and Amicia's efforts to reach out to new girl Kamala are hampered by their refusal to take "No" for an answer. Adelene in particular sees herself as being incredibly generous when offering her a seat at their table, and takes Kamala's quiet insistence that she'd prefer eating alone as a massive personal slight.
* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/185429 When the Wind is Southerly]]'', sailors Horatio and Archie [[FandomSpecificPlot left the Navy and live together as lovers]]. Horatio is seriously ill (artistic license of "the madness of King George") and during one of his attacks, he had a violent argument with their servant girl Jane. Since then, they hate each other's guts. When visiting Mr. Bush asks why she didn't leave (and implies why she wasn't fired), Hornblower stiffly replies that "she claims to understand that I was unwell" and Bush thinks that "of course condescension from a servant would be intolerable to a man of Hornblower's pride".
* ''[[Fanfic/TheWolvesInTheWoodsMiraculousLadybug The Wolves in the Woods]]'': Adrien takes this attitude towards Lila; when she calls him out on [[AccompliceByInaction not doing anything]] about the way the rest of the class has started bullying Marinette, he sanctimoniously 'reassures' her that if she admits to her deception, she'll be EasilyForgiven... just like how he expects Marinette to instantly forgive everyone for all the torment. He then treats her mounting outrage as though she's a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, despite how ''he's'' the one treating the situation like they're in a preschool cartoon.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Films — Live-Action]]
* ''Film/TheBitterTeaOfGeneralYen'' includes scenes of missionaries in China. They are all extremely condescending towards the Chinese people, and they all think they're savages who should be pitied and shown the Christian way of life.
* ''Film/TheBreakfastClub'': This is Claire's attitude towards the unpopular kids in school, particularly Bender. Her popularity and friends influence her to be mean to those "beneath her," and much of her conflict stems from hating the fact that this is so.
* In ''Film/ButImACheerleader'', this idea underlies the film's setup, starting with the intervention confrontation at the start of the film. Megan comes home from school to be confronted by her parents, her boyfriend, some of her female friends, and Mike, a self-described ex-gay staffer from a residential therapy program called True Directions. On her arrival at True Directions, Megan is put through an intense session led by camp director Mary, who strives to break down Megan's insistence that she isn't actually a lesbian and her presence there is a mistake. Megan is actually reduced to tears by the end of the session. It becomes clear that Mary thinks the True Directions program is attempting "therapeutic" intervention.
* ''Film/FatHead'': The documentary frames Morgan Spurlock and other anti-fastfood advocates as being of the opinion that poor people and minorities are stupid and do not understand what they're consuming. Tom counters that they are fully aware that fast food is not healthy, but are still making that choice.
* An attempted — and failed — aversion resulted from the making of the 1932 black comedy/horror film ''Film/{{Freaks}}''. Director Todd Browning wanted to show sideshow performers to be, if not exactly ordinary, then at least well-adjusted and confident, and not in need of the other circus people to feel sorry for them or protect them from persecution. But he was [[ExecutiveMeddling forced to cut large portions of the screenplay by the film's producers]] (partly for censorship reasons and partly because the studio just wanted a shorter film), with the result that the freaks are pictured more as [[NobleSavage Noble Savages]] (they are even — sympathetically — referred to as children) and then as near-villains when they take their revenge in the climax.
* ''Film/GetOut2017'' plays with this trope in a very interesting way. [[spoiler: The members of [[{{Cult}} the Coagula]], including the founders, the [[BigBadDuumvirate Armitage family,]] love and admire black people so much that they want to be black themselves and have developed and perfected [[GrandTheftMe the Coagula technique, which allows them to place the brain of an old white person into the body of a young black person]] and enjoy the life that they always wanted, as well as [[BlackIsBiggerInBed the perks]] that (they imagine) come with being black.]]
* In ''Film/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'', this is actively used as an intentional insult by Harry toward Voldemort, as he points out that for all of Voldemort's supposed superiority, he's an utterly pathetic individual, incapable of understanding love or friendship. Considering [[ItsAllAboutMe what kind of person]] Voldemort is, hinting that he's pitiable at all is probably the most virulent insult someone could sling his way.
--->"''You're'' the weak one. [[EvilCannotComprehendGood And you'll never know love or friendship.]] And I feel sorry for you."
* In a film called ''Film/HateCrime'', the mother of a young man convicted of murdering a gay man decides that the Christian thing to do is to offer condolences to the mother of the gay man. She says something to the tune of "Well, after all, your son's bad choices weren't your fault." Bitch gets slapped.
* The gentile teacher at the beginning of ''Film/TheHebrewHammer'' implores her all-Christian students to be respectful of Mordechai's different faith and practices, although that doesn't stop her from throwing a few jabs at Jews into her speech.
* ''Film/Joker2019'': Thomas Wayne is an elitist, but he's still making an attempt to improve Gotham City by reducing the crime rate and help the lower class. Unfortunately, he's really bad at communicating with the lower class and treats them like bratty kids and not fully understanding the systemic problems, contributing to why he becomes increasingly unpopular with them over the course of the story.
* In ''Film/IronSky'' after being brought back to earth, James Washington, a black astronaut who accidentally discovered [[StupidJetPackHitler the secret Nazi moon base,]] is horrified to learn his skin, hair, and eyes were dyed a lighter color. When he demands that Renate Richter, who had spent her life on the moon base and was sent to earth on a fact-finding mission, give him an explanation, she responds with shocked confusion, insisting she was doing him a favor by talking to the base's doctors into making him a white man.
* In the movie ''Film/TheLedge'', the Christian antagonist openly feels sorry for the atheist protagonist's "empty life without God" as well as for his gay roommate (he mistakes them for lovers). This doesn't sit well with the protagonist, who then [[DisproportionateRetribution decides to seduce the antagonist's wife in retaliation]].
* In ''Film/{{Mammoth}}'', believing prostitution to be horrible, Leo keeps feeling sorry for Cookie. He does this in a way that's actually shaming her and would emotionally damage her if she [[InternalizedCategorism internalized it]].
* ''Film/OnTheBowery'': At one point Ray manages to get into a mission that admits hobos from the Bowery. He manages to sit through a condescending sermon from a preacher telling all the hobos to accept Jesus, but after a mission worker rattles off all the rules that transients have to obey in order to get a bed, Ray leaves in disgust and goes back to the Bowery to get drunk.
* The main conflict in ''Film/TheSMJudge'' is about how the prosecutor and others are trying to cast Magda in the role of the poor little victim who everyone should feel sorry for -never mind that the prosecutor himself is the only one having a real harmful influence on her life. Ironically, she didn't get any help when she [[InternalizedCategorism hated herself for being a masochist]] or when she got abused for real by her previous husband. Nope, the pity comes only ''after'' she has turned her life around so that everything is going great.
* ''Film/TheWar'': A new teacher comes to town and she's not prejudiced in the slightest bit. She thinks it's wonderful that dumb black children have to sit in the back of her classroom while the bright white children get all her attention. That's what makes life "a bowl full of cherries" for her.
* ''Film/XMenFilmSeries''
** ''Film/XMenTheLastStand'': The quest by Angel's father to help his son is a classic example, only fueling the son's self-hatred. As he caught his young Angel trying to cut off his own wings, he reacted with revulsion to the fact that his son was a mutant. He then dedicated his life to trying to "cure" his son from being a mutant.
** ''Film/XMenDaysOfFuturePast'': {{Played with}} when a nurse tells Mystique that she feels sorry for the blue-skinned woman she saw on TV because it must have been such a shame to be born looking like that, but she's unaware that she's talking to the woman in question.

[[folder:Literature]]
* In ''3096 Days'', the autobiography of Natascha Kampusch, Natascha discusses this trope. She was kidnapped as a child, and after she got free, she experienced that people tried to reduce her to a victimhood-role that was basically there for these people to feel better about themselves at the victim's expense.
%%* In ''Literature/TheBabySittersClub'' series, Stacey is this toward a new girl in one book.
%%% ZCE and Word Cruft are not allowed.
* The "Smug Marrieds" in both the novel and films in the ''Literature/BridgetJones'' series either passive aggressively shame/pity single peers (mostly women) when they aren't asking [[ConstantlyCurious "How's Your Love Life?"]] or making "tick tock tick tock" sounds when reminding Bridget about her biological clock.
* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'':
** Trolls and dwarfs have almost always been at war (one's big, stupid, and made of minerals, the other's small, aggressive, and always on the lookout for precious ores to mine...), but ''Literature/{{Thud}}'' puts a new spin by quoting an excerpt from TheFundamentalist's explanation, citing that trolls should be pitied for being misshapen and crude, being made from the leftovers used to fashion dwarves and humans. [[spoiler:Which turns out to have been a direct contradiction of the ''real'' holy text, in which trolls created themselves. The dwarf grags nearly got into a civil war over their greatest tenet being overruled and destroying a holy text (a just-as-big taboo), eventually settling for trying to blame the murder on the trolls.]]
** In ''Literature/{{Hogfather}}'', Death calls out an {{Expy}} of Good King Wenceslas for engaging in this trope, when the fellow brought leftovers from his own holiday feast to a peasant's hut and ''insisted'' that the peasant (who'd actually been looking forward to his own homemade bean supper) express effusive gratitude, to make the king feel good about himself. Back in the city, a woman leading carolers is said to be kind to the poor ... so long as they're polite, not too smelly, and deferentially thankful.
** ''Weaponized'' in a press release issued by Reacher Gilt (who actually loathes the Post Office and fears it may in fact be a potential threat to the clacks, or rather a threat to him gouging as much money as possible out of the clacks) in ''Literature/GoingPostal'':
---> Reacher Gilt ''loved'' the Post Office and blessed its little cotton socks. He was very grateful for its assistance during this difficult period and looked forward to future co-operation, although of course the Post Office, in the real modern world, would never be able to compete on anything other than a very local level. Mind you, someone has to deliver the bills, ho ho ... It was masterly ... ''the bastard''.
** In ''Literature/EqualRites'', Esk tells a wizard that Granny Weatherwax is a witch to provoke a reaction, and he replies that he has nothing but respect for witches, and all the work they do with helping women have babies and so on, but it's not ''high'' magic. He also has great respect for women in general, but they do tend to be excitable and lack the clarity of thought needed for wizardry.
* ''Literature/DonQuixote'': the first part of the novel give us The Barber and the Curate, two MoralGuardians, and in the second part LoonyFan Sanson Carrásco, whose sincere desire to help that poor fool, Don Quixote and cure his madness is sabotaged by this attitude, rendering all of them into ThresholdGuardians. Also, all three do things to help him that could be easily described as "crazy".
* ''Literature/{{Emma}}'': Mrs. Elton, newly married to a local clergyman, immediately fancies herself the best, most respectable woman of the neighbourhood, even among the long-settled families of country gentry. She is quite rich and a new bride, so people in Highbury respect her and tolerate her to a certain degree, but she is insufferable. She forces her friendship and tries to mentor Jane Fairfax, who is an accomplished young lady, and because she is poor and of less consequence, she can't escape Mrs. Elton's condescending goodwill as well as other characters.
* ''Literature/EstherDiamond'': When one of the drag queens from the first book finds out that Max and Lysander have been voluntarily celibate for decades in Max's case and his whole life in Lysander's, his reaction os one of horrified shock. When told to be more tolerant, he replies:
--> '''Whoopsy Daisy:''' I'm not intolerant. I'm flooded with pity.
* In ''Literature/GoodbyeToBerlin'', the short story "The Landauers" involves Christopher befriending a rich Jewish family whose members all try to get his opinions on various topics, but then get unreasonably angry when he actually gives his opinion. This is perhaps best epitomized by Natalia Landauer's CatchPhrase, "Then I cannot help you" - always delivered when Christopher declines to perform some favor for her.
* ''Franchise/HarryPotter'':
** This is how the non-Death Eater members of the magical community of Britain tend to treat {{Muggles}}. Even though the Muggle Prime Minister is supposed to be Fudge and Scrimgeour's equal in authority, they treat him like a child, which understandably frustrates him. Even Arthur Weasley looks upon the non-magical population like animals at the zoo who entertain him with their behavior rather than people. This could be the result of a mild culture-wide InferioritySuperiorityComplex, however, since it's at times suggested that despite their lack of magical powers or prowess, Muggles as a whole are actually more of a threat to the wizarding world than vice versa because of Muggles' sheer numbers.
** Hermione's treatment of House Elves has shades of this, though she doesn't realise it and truly believes that she is the only one who treats them as equals. Their BlueAndOrangeMorality makes them eager to serve humans, and [[HappinessInSlavery they're offended by such notions as "freedom" and "payment". They like working for kind, understanding humans]] ''better'' than mistreatment, but they still (with only one exception that we see) prefer mistreatment to freedom, to the point where they literally consider it a FateWorseThanDeath. Hermione, believing that she knows what's best for them and that they'll like freedom "once they've got a taste of it," attempts to trick them into freeing themselves. The House-Elves are insulted by this and Dobby even notes that he's become the main person to clean Gryffindor house since. Dumbledore, by contrast, treats them kindly and respectfully and gladly agrees to pay the one House Elf who asks for it but does not suggest freeing the majority who don't desire it.
* In Creator/DavidWeber's ''Literature/HonorHarrington'' series, this is one of the attitudes that (nicer) civilians of the Solarian League have towards non-league "neobarbs".
* ''Literature/IChooseLife'', the autobiography of Sabine Dardenne. She spends the last part of her book talking about this trope. Kidnapped as a kid, later saved, but experienced that people tried reducing her to a victim.
* Taken to a terrifying extreme in ''Literature/OldMansWar'': The Consu are not xenophobic monsters like everyone assumed. Quite the contrary, they love everybody and want to help all the other races of the galaxy achieve peace and enlightenment. Problem is, [[{{Pride}} they see themselves as the pinnacle of civilization]] and [[BlueAndOrangeMorality their idea of helping people advance is to force them to be more like the Consu through war and suffering]].
* ''Literature/PrideAndPrejudice'':
** This is a big part of why Elizabeth rejects Mr. Darcy's first proposal. While his feelings are genuine, he spends most of the proposal repeatedly pointing out her family's poor status and her relatives' embarrassing behavior, and how sorry he feels for her. She brutally tears into him for it. This helps Darcy realize his main character flaw, which is right there in the book's title.
** When he receives news that Lydia Bennet has run away with Wickham, the rector Mr. Collins decides that it would be a good idea to write to Mr. Bennet and "console" him and his cousins on their misfortune. These condolences primarily come in the form of a self-righteous lecture about what a wicked and shameful girl Lydia is and how she's brought ruin on them all through her selfish conduct. The 1995 TV adaptation has him come and deliver this lecture in person... which, needless to say, [[SarcasmMode just endears him to the Bennet sisters even more]].
* The universe of ''Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'' is filled with well-meaning but condescending adults who pity and attempt to help the Baudelaire orphans in various ill-thought-out ways, and usually end up making their situation a lot worse.
* ''Literature/SimonsPapa'' by Creator/GuyDeMaupassant has an unwed single mother (in the 1800s) be looked on with (rather self-righteous) pity by the other women of the village. Their children, however, are full-on asshats to her son, the titular Simon. [[spoiler:She ends up married to the village blacksmith in the end, getting the kid the admiration of his peers for having such a cool dad.]]
* {{Lampshaded}} in ''Literature/TheTamuli''. Throughout the previous trilogy ''Literature/TheElenium,'' the protagonists have been Elenes who are very pro-Styric despite the widespread anti-Styric attitudes that exist among Elenes and stand up against Elene racism on the matter. However, in ''The Tamuli,'' they finally get to see the great city of the Styrics - and the shock of seeing Styrics living ordinary, normal lives like Elenes, as equals to Elenes, instead of the downtrodden, victimised people they're used to seeing, makes them realise that they'd been courting condescending compassion all along. Being good people at heart, they're able to confront this ugly side of themselves and overcome it, but it's a shock to the system when they're first exposed to the reality of the type of compassion they'd previously been feeling.
* The Yithians suffer from this when dealing with humanity in ''Literature/TheTowerOfZhaal''. They have plans to trap humanity's survivors in a LotusEaterMachine in the DreamLand as a way of "saving" us from extinction. This is actually noteworthy as most advanced species are BlueAndOrangeMorality at best.
* In ''Literature/{{Warbreaker}}'', Vivenna tries to be understanding towards the prickly Jewels after learning that she lost her Breath to one of the Returned. Jewels responds that being chosen to give your Breath to a god is an honor for her people and that her sacrifice helped save her family from starvation, and thus she really isn't interested in Vivenna's pity.
* In Creator/DavidWeber's ''[[Literature/TheWarGods The War God's Own]]'', this is the attitude of spoiled young Sir Vaijon of Almerhas when first introduced. Things go to hell when he meets the protagonist, who is of a race that Vaijon considers the lowest of the low ''and'' has been personally chosen as champion by the patron god of Vaijon's military order.
* In ''Milk Goes to School'', Milk comes off as a SpoiledBrat (no pun intended) to the other kids due to her saying things like, "Sit by me, you're pretty like I am".
* Jim Beal from the William Johnstone novel ''Prey'' is a RightWingMilitiaFanatic whose official position (which to be fair, he actually seems to believe in) is that black people aren't naturally inferior, but were made inferior to the point where integration is currently unfeasible by the centuries they were given limited education and social advancement due to slavery and the Jim Crow laws. The reader isn't meant to agree with him (at least not entirely) but Beal and his followers ([[RenegadeSplinterFaction some of them, anyway]]) come across as very much a ALighterShadeOfBlack due to not being WesternTerrorists, unlike rival militia leader Victor Radford, and his fellow AxCrazy Neo-Nazi's.
* Lieutenant from ''Literature/AnUnkindnessOfGhosts'' pities the dark-skinned lowerdeckers for their supposed ugliness and moral inferiority, saying, "We try to tame you, but there is no taming vermin."
* [[Literature/ThePyatQuartet Colonel Pyat]] is affronted that so many people seem to think he's some kind of racist. Why, he has nothing against other races - it's hardly ''their'' fault that they are inherently inferior to white men, is it? And he fully approves of them trying to better themselves, in such limited ways as they are capable of!
* ''Literature/TheRoosevelt'': David Loris, a resident at the titular assised living facility who was partially paralyzed in a car crash a few years ago, hates being pitied and treated like a baby by other people, especially staff. Emmet takes an instant dislike to David, which David finds refreshing, because at least Emmet doesn't feel sorry for him and is reacting to his personality, not his body.

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* The first episode of ''Series/AdamRuinsEverything'' points this out as a contributing factor to why various charitable giving operations don't help like we think they do. Adam asks his student-for-the-day Emily what she visualizes when thinking about a citizen of an African country. What she comes up with is a string of stereotypes of rural African communities before [[LampshadeHanging stopping and realizing how condescending she sounds]]. Later in the episode, it is implied that this contributes to the attitude that poor people can't just be given money directly because they might spend it on things they don't need.
* Deconstructed in the ''Series/AllInTheFamily'' episode "The Games Bunkers Play". Throughout the series, Mike is a staunch liberal who supports civil rights for black people and acts friendly towards the Bunkers' black neighbor Lionel, whom he always wants to discuss racial issues with. During the game in the episode, Lionel reveals to Mike that he finds Mike's attitude towards him patronizing and he feels like Mike just sees him as a representative of all black people he can talk to. Mike tries to defend himself and point out how much of a bigot Archie is with his attitude. Lionel then points out that Archie's attitude is a result of him being raised in ignorance and doesn't know any better. Mike, on the other hand, is smart enough to know but treats Lionel less like an individual person than Archie does.
* In ''Series/BreakingBad'' Jesse's parents constantly talk about how he should turn his life around and insult him, without actually trying to help him. They actually kick him out of his aunt’s house (which she left to him for being the only one in their family to take care of her as she died) and leave him homeless just so they could sell the house, and then try to justify it as helping him turn his life around.
* ''Series/{{Community}}'':
** In the episode "Early 21st Century Romanticism", Britta makes friends with a lesbian for the sole purpose of having an excuse to smugly brag to everybody about what a progressive and tolerant person she is. At one point, the rather naïve and sheltered Annie curiously asks her some questions about her friend, and Britta uses this opportunity to condescendingly lecture her on her "homophobia" and how it makes her a lesser person. [[spoiler:It turned out that Britta's "lesbian" friend was straight, thought that ''Britta'' was a lesbian, and befriended her for exactly the same reason. Neither girl was very happy to find out the truth.]]
** In two episodes, the main characters run a ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' game to help an outsider who is a passionate fan of the game resolve some personal issues in their life (in the first case, to help a potentially suicidal young man feel a connection; in the second, to bridge a divide between an estranged father and son). However, while in both cases they mean well, it's pretty clear that almost all the main characters consider ''Dungeons and Dragons'' stupid and beneath them, and they initially just plan to run a game where the person they're trying to help scores an easy victory under the assumption that this will automatically solve their problem. This results in them coming off as unintentionally patronising, condescending and dismissive to the person they're trying to help. It's especially glaring in the second case, where, elated by their first success[[note]]Said success had very little to do with D&D; Neil just saw how bitter and lonely [[AntiVillain Pierce]] was, and realized he (Neil) was [[YouAreNotAlone nowhere near as far gone]].[[/note]], they make an incredibly unsubtle character arc revolving around "the bond between father and son". Said son catches on immediately and is miffed.
** Season 6 Episode 1, "Ladders", has two characters who exhibit this: Frankie, who eventually reveals that she took Abed under her wing because she believes "[he] doesn't know better" and can't make good decisions on his own; and Annie, who has been "sweetly condescending" to [[AmbiguousDisorder Abed]] on enough occasions for him to identify the behavior.
* In a ''Series/TheDailyShow'' bit just after Obama's election, Larry Wilmore got all excited about finally getting the chance to exercise his "black liberal guilt" by condescendingly praising other races for basic accomplishments like being hardworking and having cute children.
* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In [[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E3TheUnquietDead "The Unquiet Dead"]], Rose (from the early 21[[superscript:st]] century) is sympathetic towards housemaid Gwyneth (from 1869), and tries to give her advice on how to improve her situation. Gwyneth doesn't think her situation is particularly sad, however, and is insulted by the insinuation. It's softened somewhat by the fact that Gwyneth's PsychicPowers allow her to read Rose, and she understands that this is simply because Rose's background is fundamentally different than hers.
* On ''Series/EverybodyHatesChris'', it was a RunningGag that every time Miss Morello addressed Chris personally, she would say something that could be construed as "I'm so happy that for once a young black boy is trying to better himself through education, instead of growing up to be the criminal I thought he was."
* In an episode of ''Series/{{Fringe}}'', a doctor with a paraplegic son was killing other paraplegics in an attempt to find a cure for his son's condition. When the son found out, he was not only horrified by the murders his father was committing but incredibly hurt both that his father didn't accept him the way he was and that he tried to justify the deaths as acceptable mercy killings.
* In ''Series/HighwayToHeaven'', a bar patron is highly offended when his efforts to buy a drink for a man in a wheelchair, just because he is in a wheelchair, are met with "No, thank you." He thought he deserved brownie points for "being nice to a cripple."
* ''Series/{{House}}'' addresses this a few times in the mentality of doctors and their patients. Cameron previously was married to a man who she knew was dying of terminal cancer, and their marriage naturally only lasted six months. She finds herself likely attracted to the miserable, depressed, crippled House, and makes several advances on him. Eventually, House spells it out that what she feels for him isn't ''love'', it's ''pity'', and that he's not going to go into a relationship based on something like that. Likewise, Wilson's repeated failed marriages are attributed by House that he's only attracted to women who are "broken", and then loses interest when they get back on their feet. Again, it's implied this is a major reason why Wilson and House are friends since House is so damaged that Wilson just can't fix him no matter how long they're together.
* In season 9 of ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'', the front desk clerk Curtis constantly and repeatedly pities Ted for being single at a romantic location and during a wedding.
* ''Series/{{Ironside}}'' wanted to ward this attitude off in the pilot episode. Noticing that his staff were being a bit too protective of him, he sternly ordered each one to repeat the sentence, "Ironside, you're a cripple." After they reluctantly did so, he [[DeathGlare stared them down]]. "Now you've all said it. And none of you ever need to say it again."
* In ''Series/RedDwarf'', Lister indignantly refutes Kochanski's insinuation that he is homophobic by citing his drinking-buddies status with a gay crewman who he describes as being just one of the boys. The fact the crewman's nickname is ''Bent Bob'' doesn't seem at all incongruous to him.
* ''Series/{{Riverdale}}'': Percival Pickens treats the main characters like naughty children and his solutions are more “destroy everything and put in things that might not work” than “actually fix the broken foundations”.
* In the HBO anthology series ''Series/Room104''‘s final season episode "The Hikers", the episode centers on two FatAndSkinny friends rooming at an inn during a big hiking trip after they graduated from college; [[spoiler: the episode shows the skinny girl trying to sabotage her fat friend's hiking trip, to motivate her to "get her life on track" i.e. lose weight, which surprises the fat friend (who so far has a job lined up after graduation and doesn't care about whether she is thin enough for other people). Then the skinny friend reveals she finds her friend disgusting-looking and pities her, claiming that if it weren't for her, the fat girl would have no friends, leading to the thin friend having a [[PsychologicalProjection narcissistic breakdown that reveals her own insecurities. It's clear that the friendship is over]] ]].
* An episode of ''Series/SavedByTheBell'' has Zack dating a [[DisabledLoveInterest paraplegic girl]]. He is very considerate to her, but to such an extent that he slides into this trope - at one point loudly and publicly "congratulating" her for going through life in a wheelchair when she'd much rather just be treated normally. She calls him out on it and breaks up with him, but by the end of the episode he's learned the error of his ways and they reunite ([[GirlOfTheWeek at least temporarily]]).
* In the Regency episode of ''Series/TheSupersizersEat'', it is mentioned that the Enclosure Act prohibited anyone but the landowners from hunting on the land (anyone else becomes guilty of poaching), there were bad harvests and high taxation which lead to famines — a bad time to be poor. The scene where Sue as an upper-middle-class lady goes distributing leftovers to the poor reeks of condescension. Hard and uncomfortable to watch, but Sue's delivery is also funny as hell.
* ''Series/{{Speechless}}'' has a lot of fun mocking this attitude in people, with J.J. and his family constantly either being annoyed by people's pity or shamelessly exploiting it.
* In BR Chopra’s ''Series/{{Mahabharata}}'' Yudhistir is asked to render judgment on four murderers each belonging to one of Hinduism’s four castes. Yudhistir gives the lowest caste peasant four years, stating that because of his caste, he is ignorant. The trader who is the next highest caste gets eight years, because according to Yudhistir, he is still “ignorant” but not “as ignorant” as the peasant. The soldier is given a harsh sentence of sixteen years, since he is of an even higher warrior caste. The brahmin however, is handed over to other Brahmins to judge, because Yudhistir decrees that as a member of the highest priestly scholar caste, he is more knowledgeable compared to even Yudhistir himself, so only other Brahmins who are as learned as the murderer can “fairly” judge him.

[[folder:Music]]
* Nanne Grönvall's song "Fördomar" (Prejudice) plays this for laughs. The whole song is about the protagonist bragging about how she's perfect and [[DistinctionWithoutADifference does not have]] any prejudice whatsoever. The first verse is simply about how great and open-minded she is in general. The second verse is the Alice of this trope, expecting gratitude from gays for not despising them. The rest of the song goes downhill from there with blatant racism (against blacks ''and'' whites), sexism (against men ''and'' women), ageism (against young people ''and'' old people) and so on.
* The narrator of "I Thought I'd Lost You" is annoyed by various well-intentioned people acting like her loss wasn't important.
-->Nobody listens to me\\
Don't hear a single thing I've said\\
Say anything to soothe me\\
Anything to get you from my head...
* A popular Christmas song, "Do They Know It's Christmas?" by Band Aid has an equally large amount of people who dislike it and accuse it of playing this very, ''very'' straight. It was written in 1984 to raise money for famine relief in Africa and was re-recorded in 1989, 2004, and 2014 for similar causes, but its lyrics play into the insulting Western stereotypes of the continent of Africa as a desolate place full of miserable and ignorant people, with many arguing the song did more harm than good for the people it tried to help. In an interview with the ''Daily Telegraph'' in 2010, even one of its writers, Bob Geldof, called it "[[OldShame [one of the] two worst songs in history]]."
* Music/{{Kesha}}'s "Praying" is absolutely filled to the brim with this sentiment:
-->Oh, sometimes I pray for you at night\\
Someday, maybe you'll see the light\\
Oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give\\
But some things only God can forgive\\
I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'\\
I hope your soul is changin', changin'\\
I hope you find your peace\\
Falling on your knees, prayin'
* Music/ThreeDaysGrace's "Misery Loves My Company" [[DontYouDarePityMe rebuffs]] Condescending Compassion:
-->I don't need your condescending / words about me looking lonely

[[folder:Radio]]
* In the third episode of Creator/TheBBC radio drama ''Trust'', about Yvette, the headmistress of East Salford Academy, a struggling school that's been taken over by an Academy Trust, the head of the Trust's flagship school, Lodestone Academy, starts off complimenting Yvette on how well she's managing in the circumstances, including saying that yes, Lodestone's modern dance troupe might have won the Trust's talent contest, but East Salford's brass band coped very well with the trombone falling apart. As it becomes apparent that Yvette doesn't buy her act for a minute and suspects nothing about Lodestone adds up, she becomes more overtly hostile.

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'': This is noted to be a common flaw of the AlwaysLawfulGood metallic dragons. While they won't hurt humans and other sapient beings unless in self-defense or for a very good reason, they also don't take them seriously, instead considering them like humans would consider a puppy or a kitten -- they are going to be friendly and kind to them, but they won't consider them as anywhere close to their equals. Only silver dragons consistently escape this trap.
* ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000'': Defining characteristic of the Tau attitude toward other races. DependingOnTheWriter this may be presented as a marginally better alternative to the AbsoluteXenophobe Imperium of Man, or much, much worse because at least the humans are ''honest'' about how much they hate you.
* ''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasy'': Bretonnian society is so ridiculously stratified that commoners are literally seen as a different (and inferior) species than the nobles. This view leads this trope being common amongst the more "compassionate" of lords and knights. For example, a lord who mistreats his peasants may see several of his neighbors band together to depose him. This isn't because they actually care about the welfare of the peasants, but because abusing poor defenseless peasants is conduct unbecoming of a Brettonian noble that makes the noble class look bad. Conversely, anyone who simply dismounts and fights alongside the peasant levy on foot is seen as an exemplar of humility and compassion.

[[folder:Theater]]
* ''Film/{{RENT}}'' includes a scene where Mark intervenes when two cops try to bully an old homeless woman away from the street by filming their encounter. When the cops give up and leave, the homeless woman then lays into Mark for using her and her struggles as a mere prop for his art and to make himself feel like a progressive radical resisting the system rather than doing anything practical to help her -- tellingly, when she asks him if he has a dollar he can give her, the result is merely awkward silence. It particularly has bite since it's heavily implied (in both play and film) that Mark has less reason than most of the other characters to live in poverty but chooses to do so for reasons of what he considers to be artistic integrity.
* ''Theatre/{{Wicked}}'': The entire song "Popular" is this.

[[folder:Video Games]]
* ''Franchise/DragonAge'':
** [[TheChurch The Chantry's]] attitude about elves when they aren't outright racist toward them (which many city elves doubly resent because the Chantry put them in poverty and second-class citizenry in the first place). Then again, the Chantry has this reputation in general.
** ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'': Sebastian tries to sell Merrill on the Chantry by talking about its work caring for orphans and widows. Merrill questions why orphans and widows need to be cared for -- in her own clan, they are treated just like everyone else.
** ''VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition'': Vivienne often gives this impression when she isn't acting like a RichBitch. While she claims to care about "the people of Thedas" and lists protecting them from the dangers of magic ([[BoomerangBigot despite being a mage herself]]) as her main motivation, she won't descend from her opulent balls and high ivory towers to actually ''slum'' with them, and disapproves of an Inquisitor whom she feels does so too much.
* ''VideoGame/FateGrandOrder'': This is the BigBad's primary motivation, as Goetia genuinely sympathizes with humanity's suffering but takes the most condescending way to go about fixing it, choosing to incinerate the Earth, eliminate them all, and start anew since he, an immortal being, believes that humans have absurdly short and miserable lives and thinks they would be much happier with his improvements. As the story progresses, he becomes increasingly frustrated with how people keep resisting him since he doesn't understand why they ''wouldn't'' want to become bettered by someone like him.
* ''VideoGame/KingOfDragonPass'': This trope is [[DeliberateValuesDissonance why]] refusing a gift is considered a strong insult -- it's taken as a statement of either "My clan is so wealthy that anything you offer is just peanuts to us" or "We don't trust you to manage your own resources properly". The Orlanthi people, being technologically primitive, don't have much to be generous ''with'', but that just makes generosity all the more meaningful in their culture. The traditionally polite way to "refuse" a gift is to give a reciprocal gift of equal value in return, and the option to do so (or ask for it) frequently appears throughout the game.
* ''VideoGame/Persona5Strikers'': [[spoiler:The Demiurge]] genuinely wants to help humanity, but her dialogue makes it clear she has a very low opinion of humans, seeing them as idiots jerked around by their desires.
* ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'' plays this trope, along with WhiteMansBurden, throughout its narrative, as the backdrop of the story is "civilization" being brought to the "savage" lands of the west. The game even opens with John Marston listening in on a pair of women talking about how the natives "may have lost their land, but gained access to heaven", and a second talk involving a young woman who is told by a priest that the natives may resist, but it's only because they don't know better, and it would be wrong to hate them for it. The priest also scores bonus points for telling the girl it's okay for her to be confused by this, as she is "only a young woman."
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Visual Novels]]
* Saul from ''VisualNovel/DaughterForDessert'', with his annoying politeness and his show of sympathy for the business owners he buys out, has shades of this.
* ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo'' plays with this trope in a few ways. Being a game about {{disabled love interest}}s, it's easy to fall into this, and is the cause for some {{bad ending}}s. ''Especially'' [[spoiler:[[TheWoobie Hanako's]]]]. Interestingly enough, the "sympathetic bigot" part of the trope played out in real life during the development of the game. Not knowing led to ignorant pitying, but once the creators actually began researching and talking to people they developed a more nuanced portrayal of the people involved (for example, the main obstacles in the characters lives are rarely their disabilities but their emotional/psychological problems -- which ''can'' stem from their disabilities but don't necessarily ''have'' to).
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]
* ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'':
** Cronus believes that one of his best qualities is how he doesn't ''nearly'' make as big a deal about the fact that he's a [[BlueBlood seadweller]] as he could and that the others should be thankful he's such a progressive guy. After all, he ''could'' lord it over them, but he actually stoops to their level to see them as equals (and reminds them of it constantly)! What more could they possibly ask for?
** Kankri also has a tendency to fall into condescension, [[HypocriticalHumor even though he expressly argues against that kind of thing]].
** This in general is Beforus's hat. It's a culture that is based around babying those with "lower" blood colors like they're helpless.
* ''Webcomic/NeverSatisfied'': How Lucy interprets Broom Girl inviting them to the potluck with the other contestants.
-->'''Lucy:''' She [[InnocentlyInsensitive patted me on the head]]! Like I was some sort of dog!
** It's also how they interpret her [[spoiler:choosing to let them go instead of shooting them while they're immobile]].
* In ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'', Dahlia (who is wheelchair-bound due to spinal damage) often has to suffer the well-meaning 'sympathy' of people who constantly pity her for her lack of legs, especially people who seem to think [[DisabledMeansHelpless that just because her legs do not work she must also be mentally retarded]].
* ''Webcomic/StandStillStaySilent'': Downplayed. Emil and Lalli have an OddFriendship that runs on a platonic version of LanguageOfLove. In addition to the LanguageBarrier, Lalli has an AmbiguousDisorder that makes him come across as much less able to take care of himself in a dangerous situation than he actually is to people who don't know him well, including Emil. This results in Emil's general acceptance of Lalli's quirks coming hand in hand with sometimes being more protective of him than necessary, considering the fact that Lalli is the one with more field experience by several years.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]
* From the NewsParody website ''Website/BabylonBee'' during COVID-19: [[https://babylonbee.com/news/inspiring-celebrities-spell-out-were-all-in-this-together-with-their-yachts "Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts"]]
* A Website/{{Cracked}} article, [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19549_5-old-timey-prejudices-that-still-show-up-in-every-movie_p2.html#ixzz1hR3yzdot "5 old-timey prejudices that still show up in every movie"]], argues that this attitude from white people is why there are so few non-white protagonists in blockbuster movies. And ''especially'' not in a relationship with a white female character.
-->''Again, [[MisBlamed we can blame]] [[HollywoodStyle the studios all we want]]. [[LowestCommonDenominator But they've learned from hard experience that for the most part]], if they don't play to our prejudices, [[UnfortunateImplications we simply won't go see their movie.]]''
* In ''WebVideo/DrHorriblesSingAlongBlog'', Captain Hammer's song "Everyone's a Hero" is a combination of this and {{Metaphorgotten}}.
-->'''Captain Hammer:''' "Everyone's a hero in their own way / everyone's got they villains they must face / they're not as cool as mine / but folks, you know it's fine to know your place."\\
'''Captain Hammer:''' "A hero doesn't care / if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums."
* Invoked in WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows' "Best Hit Songs of 2017" episode, regarding "Praying" by Music/{{Kesha}}:
-->"It is a song about forgiveness, but the really condescending forgiveness that Southerners like to use to remind you that you're a loathsome piece of shit."
* Discussed in The Tuesday Zone's [[http://roosterillusionreviews.com/2014/11/04/the-tuesday-zone-eldritch-adaptations-part-21/ review]] of ''Call Girl of Cthulhu'', specifically as it relates to the protagonist's Nice Guy Syndrome.
-->''First of all, the main character -- who we are 100% meant to sympathize with and support -- [[UnfortunateImplications just referred to women as things]]. Second, note that the main character desperately wants sex and only interacts with two women before this conversation: his roommate, whom he condescends to because'' '''''he could only have sex with someone he loves, unlike her,''''' ''and the titular call girl, whose line of work he disrespects but attempts to tolerate. He paints prostitutes, apparently reflecting on how he respects their bodies more than most clients or some hogwash like that, but doesn't realize that he's judging them and their line of work in a snobbish way as a result. He thinks he knows what their bodies are good for better than they do.''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/BobsBurgers'': In "Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and Louise", Linda takes offense to the upper middle-class Cynthia Bush calling the Belchers "simple folk" who are "doing the best they can" in the essay she's [[TheParentProducedProject "helping" her son Logan write]].
* Parodied on ''WesternAnimation/BojackHorseman'', with the Richard Branson expy Sebastian St. Claire. Sebastian St. Claire, a billionaire who has given up the business world to help out in a fictional war-torn Eastern European country, is very condescending towards the local people, never actually bothering to engage with or learn from them while simultaneously spending a lot of time talking about how poor and needy they are. He is also continually using the Cordovians as photo-opportunities and never bothers to consider what they might actually want (for example, building a monument to himself and a shiny library in the middle of a dilapidated refugee camp). At one point, he tells Dianne that a little boy named Kinko's name means "orphan who will probably die soon".
** However, this later gets partially {{deconstructed}}, as Kinko does indeed die in a bombing. Diane, who'd made a solid connection with the kid, is distraught to the point that she flies back to LA - whereas Sebastian's detachment, as callous as it was, allowed him to stay and help improve the lives of the Cordovians ([[ItsAllAboutMe and glorify himself for doing so]]).
* Quinn and other members of the Fashion Club on ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}'' would use the fact that they felt sorry for "ugly" girls as a sign of their basic moral goodness, and would hand out makeovers as a form of charity.
* Rayla shows shades of this in ''WesternAnimation/TheDragonPrince''. Rayla clearly has empathy for humans, but doesn't really hold them in high regard. Her interactions with Callum, her human romantic partner, imply that, for better or worse, she doesn't seem to ever treat him as an equal. Bearing that fact in mind, it's important to realize that Rayla is far more generous and forward-thinking to humans than virtually any elf in the show.
* In ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', Chris gets voted prom king. His family initially assume it's some kind of [[PromWrecker prank]], only to find out that the student body voted him prom king because they thought he was mentally handicapped and felt bad for him. Chris initially dismisses this, but after finding out the prom queen was a girl who died in a car accident, comes to realize the student body only voted for him out of pity.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/MarvelsSpiderMan'' episode "An Ock and a Hard Place", Dr Octavius, trying to show that he's not the same stern taskmaster as before, says even the less gifted students will get to work on the Neo-Cortex project, [[AffectionateGestureToTheHead ruffling Peter's hair]] as he does so.
* ''WesternAnimation/MyLifeAsATeenageRobot'' [[ZigzaggedTrope zigzags with this]] in the episode "The Wonderful World of Wizzly". When visiting the Disneyland-esque amusement park, Jenny is horrified at seeing animatronics there and views their lives there as akin to slavery and mistreatment. So she made it her mission to liberate them by flying them out of the park and encouraging them to make something of themselves. It utterly fails since the animatronics are nowhere near as advanced as her and were designed and programmed specifically to serve and entertain park attendants. Jenny continutes to try this until the robots' begin singing in unison and finally annoying her to listen. Rather than return them to the park though, she instead flies them to what she thought was an uninhibited world in the hopes they can form their own society. Instead, they continute to sing, much to the chagrin of the tiny aliens living there. Ultimately, Jenny's compassion is sincere, but rather be condescending, she actually overestimates their capabilities. A large part of this does seem to stem from Jenny not having interacted with any other robots on her level of sentience and personality (note this episode was one of the last of Season 1 and where more sentient robots would be introduced over time.)
* In ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', Twilight Sparkle drops this like an anvil on Pinkie Pie in "Baby Cakes", making a stressed out Pinkie who was grateful for her friend's appearance to angrily slam the door in her face.
-->'''Twilight Sparkle:''' It's okay, Pinkie. I figured you would need some help. That's why I stopped by. Babies take a lot of work, and some ponies are just not cut out to handle the responsibility.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''' tendency to treat Homer's elderly father Abe and other senior citizens in this way has been a source of comedy throughout the show's run.
* Often PlayedForLaughs in ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' with Cartman who, in the rare occasions he shows ''any'' compassion whatsoever to minorities or any group of people he [[PoliticallyCorrectVillain isn't openly discriminatory against]], will instead treat them this way, such as treating Token as a ticking time bomb who could riot at any possible moment just because he's black or believing merely referring to Kyle as being Jewish was somehow a slur. Naturally, said people take ''extreme'' offense to it:
-->'''Cartman:''' Kyle, I want to apologize for all those times I called you a Jew. I'm sorry. You're not a Jew.\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Kyle:''' YES I AM, CARTMAN! I'M A JEW!!!\\
'''Cartman:''' No no no, Kyle. You're being too hard on yourself!
* In ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'', Jelly Goodwell, the "foremost" monster expert on Mewni, supports affording monsters less hostility and helps Star try to change [[FantasticRacism the way that the Mewmans perceive them]], but doesn't actually believe that monsters are any more intelligent or deserve any more rights than, say, a wild pack of wolves.
* ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'':
** Pearl is occasionally a smug know-it-all. It especially irritates Amethyst, and in "On The Run" she loses her temper. She accuses Pearl of looking down on her, reminding her of her faults, and indirectly blaming her for the [[GreatOffscreenWar Gem War]]. Their fight ends when Pearl understands and apologizes for unknowingly belittling her friend.
--->'''Pearl:''' I just had no idea you were upset about this.\\
'''Amethyst:''' WHAT? This is like my entire existence! ... You think I'm just a big mistake!\\
'''Pearl:''' ''[gasps]'' No! No, Amethyst, you're not the mistake. You're just the ''byproduct'' of a... ''[[ExplainExplainOhCrap [covers her mouth]]]'' big mistake. No, that's not- I- ''[sighs]'' I never thought of [[PollutedWasteland this]] as you. I'm sorry, Amethyst. I hope you can forgive me.
** In "Keystone Motel", Sapphire treats Ruby's anger as insignificant because she knows it will eventually fade. This trivialization of her emotions only makes Ruby angrier -- especially because her hurt feelings are ''entirely justified'' given the circumstances. Sapphire later admits that by doing this, she was only escalating their fight.
--->'''Steven:''' But [Ruby] seems really upset.\\
'''Sapphire:''' That doesn't matter. She can't stay mad at Pearl forever and she can't stay mad at ''me'' forever, and then she'll come back and see that I'm right.
** Rose Quartz suffered from this during her time on Earth--though she loved humans and genuinely fought against the Great Diamond Authority to protect them, it was clear that she saw them as "lesser" life forms who couldn't help themselves. [[spoiler: TheReveal that Rose was actually Pink Diamond [[FreudianExcuse accounts for this]]--the Diamonds genuinely believe that they are superior to ''all'' life.]]
** [[BigBad White Diamond]] has this trope in spades. She's the most powerful Gem in all of Homeworld--even the other Diamonds are terrified of her--and believes that she always knows what is best for everyone; as such, she speaks in a kindly but highly condescending tone, as if all other creatures are stupid children. Even worse, if anyone dares to even remotely disagree with her thoughts or question the FantasticCasteSystem she's established, she simply [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul brainwashes them]] into [[TheVirus an extension of herself]], eradicating their entire personality. And scariest of all, White thinks this is an improvement--after all, who ''wouldn't'' want to be subsumed into someone so utterly perfect?
*** Despite this (or maybe because of it), White smugly criticizes Pink Diamond for a similar attitude.
---->'''White Diamond:''' There you go again. Do you understand ''why'' you defend their flaws? I know why, Pink. You ''like'' surrounding yourself with inferior gems... You enable their terrible behavior, so you can be the best of the worst.
** ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverseFuture'' explores this with none other than Steven himself. After defeating Homeworld and establishing a galaxy-wide peace, he is clearly developing the same {{Pride}} his mother Rose Quartz once held. It's also heavily implied that he spent so long [[ChronicHeroSyndrome fixing everyone's problems]] that the lack of those very problems is leading to a severe identity crisis.
*** In "Guidance," Steven discovers that Amethyst has been placing the Gems of Little Homeschool into various jobs around Beach City. He applauds her efforts, then promptly takes over the situation, forcing Gems to do things they'd rather not do and assuming that Amethyst doesn't understand his attempts to "reform" the caste system of Homeworld. Amethyst later [[WhatTheHellHero calls him out on this]], explaining that she ''asked'' the Gems what they wanted to do and assigned them new roles based on communication, not what she thought was best.
*** In "Little Graduation," Steven is shocked to discover that big changes have happened among his friend circle, such as his [[ShipperOnDeck preferred couple]] of Lars and Sadie breaking up and most of the group moving on with their lives. He's stunned by the idea that no one bothered to consult him about these situations, and Sadie promptly points out [[TheyreCalledPersonalIssuesForAReason it really wasn't his business]], and furthermore that he has no right to interfere in their private matters.
[[/folder]]

* ''ComicBook/TheUltimates'': Jan told Hank that he was amazing and brave during the fight with the Hulk. Hank knows that he was taken down with little effort in the start and did not help at all from that point on, and tells her that he hates patronizing.

''[{{beat}}]''\\

* In ''3096 Days'', the autobiography of Natascha Kampusch, Natascha discusses this trope. She was kidnapped as a child, and after she got free, she experienced that people tried to reduce her to a victimhood-role that was basically there for these people to feel better about themselves at the victim's expense.
* The "Smug Marrieds" in both the novel and films in the Literature/BridgetJones series either passive aggressively shame/pity single peers (mostly women) when they aren't asking [[ConstantlyCurious "How's Your Love Life?"]] or making "tick tock tick tock" sounds when reminding Bridget about her biological clock.

* ''ComicBook/WonderWoman1987'': Hermes decides to play hero for a while, since he finds humans fascinating, but he manages to be condescending at best in all of his interactions with them. When people try to point out what a self entitled jerk he is he won't listen since he thinks his fascination with humans is no different than respect, but when Julia manages to ream him out for his behavior and the ichor in his veins starts turning to blood his horror at the prospect of turning human seems to clue him in at least temporarily.

** ''Weaponized'' in a press release issued by Reacher Gilt in ''Literature/GoingPostal'':

--> Reacher Gilt ''loved'' the Post Office and blessed its little cotton socks. He was very grateful for its assistance during this difficult period and looked forward to future co-operation, although of course the Post Office, in the real modern world, would never be able to compete on anything other than a very local level. Mind you, someone has to deliver the bills, ho ho ... It was masterly ... ''the bastard''.

Condescending Compassion is when a person feels magnanimous enough not to hold someone's 'faults' against them openly. They can't help being a commoner, idiot, mutant or simply '''wrong''', so it would be rude to treat them badly because of it. Instead, they resort to the ''much'' better idea that they should be sympathetic or even friendly to that lesser being, but of course, they won't really take them seriously. In a way, the condescension or even pity is likely [[InnocentlyInsensitive well intentioned]], but if the target of this attitude realizes it (and they probably will) then [[DontYouDarePityMe they're naturally likely to be quite insulted or hurt]].

** Due to being in a LadyLand, where gender roles are reverse, Anon receives this from others despite being a genuine tough guy and brawler. Rainbow Dash is the only exception who can give him a decent brawl.

* In several ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' editions, this is noted to be a common flaw of the AlwaysLawfulGood metallic dragons. While they won't hurt humans and other sentient beings unless in self defense or for a very good reason, they don't take them seriously, instead considering them like humans would consider a puppy or a kitten - they are going to be friendly and kind to them, but they won't consider them as anywhere close to their equals. Only silver dragons consistently escape this trap.
* ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}'': Defining characteristic of the Tau attitude toward other races. DependingOnTheWriter this may be presented as a marginally better alternative to the AbsoluteXenophobe Imperium of Man, or much, much worse because at least the humans are ''honest'' about how much they hate you.
* Brettonian society in ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer}}'' is so ridiculously stratified that commoners are literally seen as a different (and inferior) species than the nobles. This view leads this trope being common amongst the more "compassionate" of lords and knights. For example, a lord who mistreats his peasants may see several of his neighbors band together to depose him. This isn't because they actually care about the welfare of the peasants, but because abusing poor defenseless peasants is conduct unbecoming of a Brettonian noble that makes the noble class look bad. Conversely, anyone who simply dismounts and fights alongside the peasant levy on foot is seen as an exemplar of humility and compassion.

* ''Franchise/DragonAge'': [[TheChurch The Chantry's]] attitude about elves when they aren't outright racist toward them (which many city elves doubly resent because the Chantry put them in poverty and second-class citizenry in the first place). Then again, the Chantry has this reputation in general.
* In ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'', Sebastian tries to sell Merrill on the Chantry by talking about its work caring for orphans and widows. Merrill questions why orphans and widows need to be cared for -- in her own clan, they are treated just like everyone else.
* In ''VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition'', Vivienne often gives this impression when she isn't acting like a RichBitch. While she claims to care about "the people of Thedas" and lists protecting them from the dangers of magic ([[BoomerangBigot despite being a mage herself]]) as her main motivation, she won't descend from her opulent balls and high ivory towers to actually ''slum'' with them, and disapproves of an Inquisitor whom she feels does so too much.
* This is the primary motivation of ''VideoGame/FateGrandOrder'''s BigBad as Goetia genuinely sympathizes with humanity's suffering but takes the most condescending way to go about fixing it, choosing to incinerate the Earth, eliminate them all, and start anew since he, an immortal being, believes that humans have absurdly short and miserable lives and thinks they would be much happier with his improvements. As the story progresses, he becomes increasingly frustrated with how people keep resisting him since he doesn't understand why they ''wouldn't'' want to become bettered by someone like him.

* This trope is [[DeliberateValuesDissonance why]], in ''VideoGame/KingOfDragonPass'', refusing a gift is considered a strong insult - either a statement of 'My clan is so wealthy that anything you offer is just peanuts to us' or 'We don't trust you to manage your own resources properly'. The Orlanthi people, being technologically primitive, don't have much to be generous ''with'', but that just makes generosity all the more meaningful in their culture. The traditionally polite way to "refuse" a gift is to give a reciprocal gift of equal value in return, and the option to do so (or ask for it) frequently appears throughout the game.

** In two episodes, the main characters run a ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' game to help an outsider who is a passionate fan of the game resolve some personal issues in their life (in the first case, to help a potentially suicidal young man feel a connection; in the second, to bridge a divide between an estranged father and son). However, while in both cases they mean well, it's pretty clear that almost all the main characters consider ''Dungeons and Dragons'' stupid and beneath them, and they initially just plan to run a game where the person they're trying to help scores an easy victory under the assumption that this will automatically solve their problem. This results in them coming off as unintentionally patronising, condescending and dismissive to the person they're trying to help.

* In the HBO anthology series ''Series/Room104''s final season episode "The Hikers", the episode centers on two FatAndSkinny friends rooming at an inn during a big hiking trip after they graduated from college [[spoiler: the episode shows the skinny girl trying to sabotage her fat friend's hiking trip, to motivate her to "get her life on track" i.e. lose weight, which surprises the fat friend (who so far has a job lined up after graduation and doesn't care about whether she is thin enough for other people), then the skinny friend reveals she finds her friend disgusting looking and pities her, claiming that if it weren't for her, the fat girl would have no friends, leading to the thin friend having a [[PsychologicalProjection narcissistic breakdown that reveals her own insecurities. It's clear that the friendship is over]] ]].

* ''Series/{{Ironside}}'' wanted to ward this attitude off in the pilot episode. Noticing that his staff were being a bit too protective of him, he sternly ordered each one to repeat the sentence, "Ironside, you're a cripple." After they reluctantly did so, he [[DeathGlare stared them down]]. "Now you've all said it. And none of you ever need to say it again."

* In the HBO anthology series ''Room 104''s final season episode "The Hikers", the episode centers on two FatAndSkinny friends rooming at an inn during a big hiking trip after they graduated from college [[spoiler: the episode shows the skinny girl trying to sabotage her fat friend's hiking trip, to motivate her to "get her life on track" i.e. lose weight, which surprises the fat friend (who so far has a job lined up after graduation and doesn't care about whether she is thin enough for other people), then the skinny friend reveals she finds her friend disgusting looking and pities her, claiming that if it weren't for her, the fat girl would have no friends, leading to the thin friend having a [[PsychologicalProjection narcissistic breakdown that reveals her own insecurities. It's clear that the friendship is over]] ]].
* An episode of ''Series/SavedByTheBell'' has Zack dating a [[DisabledLoveInterest paraplegic girl]]. He is very considerate to her, but to such an extent that he slides into this trope -- at one point loudly and publicly "congratulating" her for going through life in a wheelchair when she'd much rather just be treated normally. She calls him out on it and breaks up with him, but by the end of the episode he's learned the error of his ways and they reunite ([[GirlOfTheWeek at least temporarily]]).